All The First Times
by Miss-HL
Summary: A very different start to Castle and Beckett. After meeting on a whim on a beach, will they meet again? Will they find each other in the city? Will the pitter patter of unexpected feet keep them together? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. I know that and sadly so does Andrew Marlowe.**

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><p>Chapter One.<p>

Kate stood patiently at the bookstore, holding her new copy of Derrick Storms latest murder mystery, Storm Season. She wanted to open it and read it straight away but she was doing everything in her power not to, because in less than half an hour, he would be signing her book himself. Richard Castle, her favorite author would be signing her book. She'd always wanted to get her book signed when they came out but never had the courage, usually when she brought his new book, she would be wearing sweats, her hair up and no make up on. It would be early morning and she would be first in line at her usual bookshop to get a copy. She would basically run home so she could start to read it. It kind of became this ritual of hers but tonight she would be breaking it.

She could hear girls giggling and ogling over him. She turned the book over to look at the image of him. His blues eyes stood out and were piercing, she would admit he was handsome, she couldn't deny it but the attention he received was insane. The woman just flocked to him. She saw a flash of a camera and she looked up.

She had moved quite a bit in the line and hadn't realized it. Richard Castle only stood 6 feet from her. She was a third in line now and watched the woman all hand them his book and then giggle. He asked for their name and they had basically shouted it at him. He only smiled and politely wrote something in the books. She looked out the window and thought about what her Mom would say if she was alive, she would laugh at Kate waiting in line for this kind of thing. She would laugh that Kate actually got dressed up for this. Sure she didn't look like other woman who flocked to him, her short hair was dark, her side fringe swept across her face. She wore a casual black slip dress and her mother's ring around her neck. It was summer in New York City so her arms and legs were exposed. She had make up on, but it wasn't as obvious as the other woman around. It was simplistic and natural.

Suddenly the nerves hit her. What the hell was she supposed to say to him? Did she say anything at all? She contemplated walking out the door when someone brought her back into reality.

"Excuse me miss, you're next." the security guard said, ushering her over.

Richard castle lifted his head and smiled. She handed him her book and returned the smile.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Kate" she replied quietly.

She watched him scribble in her book and close it. He stood and handed it back to her, extending his hand. In all the time she'd watched him at the signing, he had never stood and greeted someone like he just did with her.

"Have a wonderful night Kate." He said, smiling.

"Thank you." She replied.

She looked over her shoulder as she walked away. There was a bunch of woman surrounding him like vultures, all pushing their chests in his face and he was most obliging to sign them all.

She grabbed Chinese take away on her way home and she had almost forgotten to even read what he had written until she was finished eating her dinner.

_'Kate,_

_Don't let those eyes look lost for much longer, the world needs to see them._

_Richard Castle'_

She almost cried then and there, it had been years since her Mothers death but was it still all over her face? Could she be read that easily? She couldn't believe he had noticed something like a look in her eyes when he had never met her before.

Her index finger skimmed over his words as she curled up on the couch. She had to smile, they say to never meet your idol but after that night she thought whoever said that had never met Richard Castle before.

She flicked over the page and started to read, once again, like always his words sucked her into a completely different world. A world where she never had to think about her Mother's death, think about her Father and his problems with drinking, think about the stress of the job, think about her failed relationships and issues with trust. She became someone different, someone that could smile through the words he wrote, laugh at Derrick Storms adventures, be pained when he was hurt but he was always saved in the end so she could get herself off the couch and settle in her bed. He let her sleep a solid nights sleep, something she hadn't had in so long.

She would be able to get up in the morning, put on her uniform and go to work without trouble. She wouldn't spend the day thinking about her Mother's case instead she would think about Derrick Storm.

-x-

It had been eight months since the night of the book signing. Kate had worked long days and nights as a uniform. She had taken her detective exam and was waiting on the results. Captain Montgomery had smiled at her in the break room every morning so she thought she might have a chance.

It wasn't set in stone until he handed her an envelope. "Welcome to the 12th precinct homicide division, Detective Beckett."

She had smiled the entire way home, a big happy smile. Captain had given her the long weekend off, something about needing her well rested and ready to start as a detective for the new week. She knew that he had seen her shoveling coffee into her the previous weeks, seen her on basically no sleep running canvas searches as a uniform, she knew that he watched how hard she worked so it was a nice gesture to give her the weekend off. She had protested but he said it was an order and she was in no way ready to defy an order.

She couldn't believe her best friend when she showed up on her stoop only an hour after she got home.

"Do you want a glass of bubbly?" Kate asked, ready to celebrate but Lanie's face frowned.

"I'll have one sure, but you might want to keep your intake to a minimum." She said, handing her an envelope.

Kate was utterly confused, she had never seen Lanie like this before. She took the envelope from her and pulled out a piece of paper.

Kate Beckett was now a detective, she had just been promoted and to show her support, her best friend and now close work friend, Lanie parish, the medical examiner had given her a weekend voucher to a gorgeous hotel in Long Beach.

"What is this?" Kate asking looking up to her friend.

"A weekend away, everything is paid for. You deserve it." Her friend hugged and Kate felt her eyes well up. "Only thing is you have to drive. So I would keep the bubbly to a minimum."

"Lanie, I can't believe you." Kate was gripping the voucher in her hands.

"You might want to get going soon or you'll hit traffic and not get there until late."

"I wish you were coming." Kate said as she threw clothes in a suitcase.

Lanie laughed. "This is for you, you'll see me enough on crime scenes anyway. You'll be wanting to get rid of me."

Kate just rolled her eyes.

"I want a full report though, maybe you'll meet yourself a nice man." Lanie said handing Kate her bikini.

"Yeah right." Kate said, without even looking at Lanie.

Now it was time for Lanie to roll her eyes.

"Have a great time, girl." Lanie said, walking with Kate out of her apartment.

"I will, thank you so much, you don't know what this means." Kate said hugging her friend.

Lanie would never admit that Kate getting detective at this time of year was perfect timing. When Lanie booked her trip away she booked it the same weekend that she knew killed her friend every year. The anniversary of her Mothers death.

Lanie just smiled and squeezed her hand.

"If a guy asks if you want a drink or to go out for dinner, just promise me you'll say yes. Ok?"

Kate just laughed and nodded.

-x-

Kate couldn't believe her eyes when she pulled up the hotel. It was a two hour drive from the city and she managed to get lucky with the traffic. Kate had been out to Long island and Long Beach before but it always amazed her how something so close to the city could be so different.

Kate looked at the hotel that she would call home for the next two nights. It was big, a resort even but it looked like it had character. It wasn't a chain like the rest of them.

She scanned the beach as she pulled out her suitcase of the trunk. The hotel was basically right on the beach and she could see people walking up and down the stairs to the beach. She couldn't wait to feel the sand again, it had been far too long.

"Kate Beckett." she said to the reservation desk.

"Ah your friend rung and said you would be arriving soon. Your room is under Lanie Parish but come right this way." The woman said and took her bag from her.

She opened the door and let Kate walk in. Lanie had really outdone herself this time. She had the most gorgeous four poster bed and her view looked right out over the ocean. The room was huge, it had big chairs for reading and the most exquisite furniture.

"Is everything OK?" the lady asked and Kate simply smiled.

"It's perfect." Kate replied.

Kate didn't know what to do with herself. She pulled out her phone and sent a quick txt to Lanie.

_K : 'I can't believe how much I owe you. Lanie, this is perfect. Thank you so much.' _

Her phone buzzed almost immediately.

_L : 'If you're happy, then I am too. Enjoy the weekend and I meant what I said about the guy asking you out. You have to say yes.'_

She sat in one of the big chairs facing the open doors to the balcony. She could hear the ocean hit the sand, she could smell the sea mist and suddenly she felt sad. She thought about all the times she went to the beach with her parents, before her Mom was taken from her. She couldn't remember the last time that they went as a family.

She thought about the next day. It was the anniversary and she usually woke up feeling numb. She would sit at home and cried until she fell asleep again. Sometime during the day she would make her way to the cemetery and lay flowers down. There would always be a bunch of fresh flowers from her father. She assumed that her father had been in the morning. They had never crossed paths during the day, it would be far too hard on the both of them.

She would sit for an hour or two and talk to her Mother, she would cry more telling her what was happening in her life. Telling her Mother what she was missing out on was a horrible feeling. Finally she would walk home, usually in the rain.

She would go and get Chinese take away from her local and crawl into a ball on her couch and read her favorite book from her favorite author. She would call her Dad around dinner time, they would talk. Both of them would fall silent and Kate would cry every time, her Father would tell her a funny story about her Mother and it would perk Kate up. She would tell her father she loved him and he would return the love.

She would crawl into bed around midnight unable to sleep because she had slept all morning. She would set up the projector with slides her Father had passed down to her and lay on her bed. The images of her mother shone to the ceiling above Kate's bed. Images of her Mother laughing, when she was younger, images of her Mother and Father as teenagers kissing on the Brooklyn bridge, pictures of baby Kate and their little family, images of Kate growing up, that awkward stage and pictures of when she looked most like her Mother, Christmas, Easters and birthdays would flash by. She would click through the roll of slides over and over until the tears turned into smiles. She would fall asleep under the same image every year. It was when Kate was only four, she sat in her Mothers lap laughing at her Father. They looked so happy and content.

But this year would be different. She couldn't do any of those things and even though it scared her senseless she tried to feel good about it.

She opened her suitcase and mulled over what she would wear to get dinner.

-x-

The sun was setting on the beach as she walked down the stairs to the restaurant. She chose a light fabric dress, It was flowing to the ground and was the most gorgeous teal color. She had pulled her hair back, it was longer now. It was just below her shoulders now and it was a lighter brown.

She watched people as she ate her dinner. People watching was something she always did when she would go out. She'd pick people and try and guess their life story, make up stories in her mind about them and that's when she saw him.

Richard Castle stood at the bar of the hotel. He was leaning against the counter-top, one elbow resting on it and a beer in his other hand. Kate almost choked on her wine she saw him there.

He was talking to an older couple, they were laughing and he was oozing charm. The old man patted his shoulder as he walked away and he raised his glass to them.

She smiled as she looked down. Of course the next day was always the hardest day of year but somehow seeing the man that pulled her out from the dark hole of grief would make the whole ordeal a bit easier.

She looked back up but he was gone from the bar.

-x-

Kate woke in the morning and the light streamed through the windows, she stretched and realized that she had barely moved during the night, she usually would fidget all night. Roll over and back all night but today she actually felt stiff when she woke up.

Her mind immediately went to her Mother. She pulled the covers over her head and squeezed her eyes closed.

When there was a knock at the door and she got a fright. She paced across the room in her pajamas and swung the door open. There stood a man carrying a bunch of flowers.

"Detective Beckett?" He asked and she smiled at what she was just called. She signed for the flowers and closed the door behind her.

_'Thinking of you today, Detective. _

_Lanie'_

Kate simply smiled at the note. How did she deserve such an amazing friend?

-x-

Kate sat outside on the beach for most of the afternoon. She walked up and down the coast, letting the water hit her feet as she walked. She wore a sundress and had tied her hair back.

She thought about her new job, her new team, her friends, her Mom and Dad. She smiled instead of cried.

When she started to feel cold, she headed back towards the hotel. She climbed the steps going up to the hotel when she was knocked off balance by a running girl.

"Sorry." She heard someone speak as they grabbed her arm pulling Kate back on her feet. "She's had far too much sugar today."

She looked over at the man still holding her arm.

Richard Castle stood there smiling.

"It's fine." Kate said as Rick gave her arm back to her.

She looked out over the beach and watched the girl run riot on the beach. Her red hair flying in the wind as she spun around on the sand.

"Daddy!" She screamed, laughing and waving to her Dad.

"Sorry, I promised." Rick walked down the stairs and turned to Kate. "Sorry again." He smiled and she smiled back.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: Thanks for reading the first chapter. I hope you like it! The idea totally popped into my head when I was just about asleep so I had to scramble out of bed and write the idea on my iPad...I woke up and had to try decipher what I wrote. It was kinda tricky. <strong>

**There will be another chapter posted tomorrow. I've already written it but I want to make sure it's what I want first before I put it up. But fair not, it's a really cute chapter between Castle and Beckett meeting once again.**

**I think this story will eventuate into a proper Caskett story but as of right now, I'm enjoying writing a new beginning for them.**

**Thanks for reading and if you want please review and tell me what you think.**

**H**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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><p>Chapter Two.<p>

The hotel bar was so flashy and Kate felt silly sitting at the bar alone but she really needed a drink.

She waked down the cobblestones, around the tiny town when she noticed a dingy little pub just off the beaten track. She smiled to herself, perfect.

Opening the door, she felt like she had walked into a movie. Inside was dark and almost smokey. There were five men sitting at the bar, none of them talking, just lifting their glasses to their mouths and drinking their beer every minute or so. The floor was crunchy with peanut shells.

"You lost ma'am?" The man behind the counter asked as he flew the tea towel over his shoulder.

Kate smiled. "Can I get a pint please?" she asked handing the man a note.

He nodded and complied, handing her back a perfectly frothed pint.

She looked around the pub. There were several booths but most of them were occupied with men playing cards or men that were passed out.

She noticed a free booth in the far back, far away from everyone. She slipped in on the soft and well loved leather seat and leaned her head against the wooden back.

There were books rested against the window and she pulled one down. They were history books of the beers they were selling, she read over the book, not having much else to do when she saw her book go slightly dark. A shadow was blocking her light.

When she looked up, she couldn't believe who she was looking at.

"Do you mind if I share with you? I don't fancy my chances at the other ones." Richard Castle flashed his award wining smile at Kate.

All she could do was nod and extend her hand to the other side of the booth.

"Thanks. I got you another drink too." He pushed the drink in her direction. It was the same as what she was drinking.

"Uh thanks." She said smiling.

He placed a journal on the table and opened it.

Kate could barely believe on today, of all the days, she was sitting across a booth in a dingy, dark little pub away from the city with her favorite author, that same author that had saved her from a dark future.

"Wonderful literature you're reading there." Rick pointed to the book she was reading.

"Only thing I could find, it's not actually that bad." Kate smiled up at him.

"Gosh you're eyes are beautiful." He said so simply it didn't feel like a compliment. "I've seen you before, I remember them"

Kate could feel herself blush, the last thing she wanted was for him to remember that he had met her a signing and she was a creepy stalker following him out here and was now preying on him.

"Uh I think your daughter ran into me today at the hotel."

Then he smiled again, god that smile was contagious.

"Of course, your hair was up. I thought I knew them." He didn't take his eyes off hers. "I apologize for that also, she is like bull in a china shop sometimes."

Kate smiled again, she couldn't help herself. "She's gorgeous."

"Yeah, she really is." Rick smiled also. "What brings you to this pub then?" he asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Hotel bar felt a tad flash for me." Kate looked around the quiet bar and noticed music was now playing from the jukebox on the other side of the dance floor. "You?" She asked, pushing her empty glass away and pulling the one he had brought her closer.

"Needed to get away from that world." He shuddered. She knew exactly what he meant. She had seen a few woman bothering him and asking for autographs during the day.

"Does it get annoying?" she asked and when he looked up smiling, she knew that she had put her foot in it and revealed she knew exactly who he was.

"It's my job." He shrugged his shoulders.

She was expecting some pompous answer about the riches of living the life he lead but surprisingly he didn't.

She turned the page of the book she was no longer reading but was trying to focus on anything else but his eyes.

"Want to play a game?" he asked, and she looked up and watched him shuffle a set of cards he had pulled down from the windowsill.

She screwed up her face.

"Well, I'll make it interesting. Every black card, I'll tell you something about myself and every red card you tell me something about yourself. Sound fair?" He asked splitting the deck into two piles. "For every red card you turn in your pile, you take a drink and the same for the black cards in mine."

She nodded and dragged the pile of cards over to her side of the table.

"If you don't want to answer the question, you have to do a dare." He smiled at her wickedly and she could help but bite her bottom lip.

She turned the first card over and it was red. She happily took a sip of her drink.

He flipped a card and it was red. "You name?" he asked.

"Dare." She replied raising an eyebrow.

"Seriously?" he asked, his jaw dropping but then smiling at her attempt to stay secret.

She nodded.

"Either you have to kiss me or tell me your name. That is my deal."

She was shocked by what had said but she didn't let it show on her face.

"Kate." She replied flatly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Wasn't hard was it?" He asked as she flipped a red card for the forth time in a row. "You're going to be very drunk with no secrets soon." He said she he watched her take another sip of her drink.

He flipped his card and it was black. He raised his glass to her and took a sip.

She flipped and it was black.

"Finally, hit me." He said, resting his head in his knuckled hands that were resting on the table.

She wanted a really good one so she sat quietly for a second.

"Biggest lie you've heard about yourself?" she asked, wiping the condensation of her drink with her index finger.

His eyes went big. "Good question, probably that I'm a playboy bad boy that loves himself. You saw me today with my daughter. That's what makes me happy."

"So you don't like signing chests then?" Kate asked without registering what she had said.

"Added bonus I guess. Not so much anymore though, gets old fast, but might I add that was two questions, so next black you pull, you're the one that has to drink."

"Fine." She smiled at him.

He pulled a red card from his pile.

"Occupation?" he asked her.

This was it. He wrote mystery novels and she was a cop, she knew what conversation would be next and it would be all he wanted to talk about and today was the last day she wanted to talk about work.

"Dare." She said.

"Are you going to claim that for everyone?" He asked.

"Only the ones that I don't want to answer."

He got up and walked to the bar, bringing back a tray of shot glasses filled with tequila. Kate winced at her college days and the morning after, the pain of her head and regrets from the night before.

"Down one of them." He said handing her the bottle of salt.

She licked her hand, fully aware of him watching her and sprinkled on the salt.

"It's bad luck you know." She said pulling a shot glass over to her.

"What is?" He asked watching her pick up a piece of lemon from the tray.

"To not make a toast on the first shot." She said, pushing a shot glass in his direction. He smiled and picked up the salt.

"What are we going to toast to?" She asked him picking up the shot glass.

"First times meeting people?" He asked and she nodded, smiling on the inside at his revelation. She had of course met him before but she wasn't going to tell him that now.

The shot glasses clunked, she licked the salt, threw back the tequila and sucked the lemon. She hadn't felt the burn of tequila in some time. She turned over the shot glass and put it down on the table.

She flipped a card and it was red.

She took a sip of her beer, glad to chase away the tequila.

He flipped his card and it was black. Following suit, he took a sip of his, not taking an eye off her.

In silence she flipped one from her card. It was black.

"I believe that is your turn to drink though, you asked two questions last time." He said.

She nodded and took another sip.

He flipped red. "Ok….favorite place in the world?" He asked.

She really had to think about it. She'd traveled between the summers of College but nothing quite bet the city she grew up in.

"New York City, on a winters day." She replied.

He nodded, she was unsure if it was in agreement or not.

The barman came to them and delivered another two pints. Kate looked down and realized she was half way down her second.

"Thanks" He said, handing the barman several notes. An indication to keep the drinks flowing.

"You don't have to do this." He said as he handed her the pint.

"Well, this game wouldn't be so fun if we both had nothing to drink would it." She smiled at him. She didn't know where this was coming from? The first time she met him she could barely speak and now she was flirting with him.

She flipped black. "Favorite book you wrote?" She asked.

He looked stumped. Completely stumped.

"Dare." He said shrugging his shoulders.

She looked around the pub. "You've got to find someone in here that will let you sign their chest." She said.

"Can I sign yours?" He said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Nope." She shook her head shamelessly flirting back with him.

He reached over and picked up the pen he was using to write in his journal, stood up and walked to the bar. He tapped a guy on the shoulder, he was big too. His stomach spilled out over his shorts and Kate screwed up her face trying not to laugh. She couldn't exactly hear what Rick was saying but the guy didn't look too happy but then Rick looked over to Kate and gave her the thumbs up. He pulled the lid off his pen and signed his name across the guys chest.

Kate was still laughing when he sat back down at the booth.

"Your laugh is adorable." He said, taking his pint in his hand and took a sip.

She just looked at him. God the lighting was good. His white collared shirt had two buttons open, his hair was messy and he had stubble.

"It's a bit late for you to be out considering all the activities you'll have tomorrow?" Kate asked, taking another drink.

"Alexis has this sleepover with the hotel babysitting club. It's her highlight of her week here. And it's my only night off so I try to get out or write." He answered freely.

"No writing tonight then?" She wondered what part of the book he was writing at the moment.

"Writers block." He laughed picking up a shot of tequila and raising it in the air before he took the shot. Not bothering with the lemon or salt he turned the shot glass upside down next to the other two.

"Dare." He said, without her even turning a card. She was pretty sure it was her turn even.

"Tell me what happens in the new book." She looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? You actually read Derrick Storm? That actually shocks me a bit."

"Why? Because I didn't ask you to sign my chest? Did that offend you?" She asked, wanting to smack herself for talking like she was.

He simply laughed. "I would love to sign your chest but I quite enjoy that fact you didn't ask."

"Dare." She finally said and he pushed the salt to her.

She took the salt and licked the same place she had before, sprinkled the salt on, picked up the lemon in her other hand and did the same ritual.

"Favorite restaurant in the city?" He questioned her as he took another drink from his pint.

"Marin Shore. It's a place in Brooklyn, its Chinese. They have the best food ever, I swear." Her voice was different, she could feel her head getting lighter.

"I'm going to take you there when we get back then. I want to go with a master so I know exactly what to order."

Suddenly it hit her. She was sitting across a booth with Richard Castle, he was flirting and so was she. There was talks of dinner when they would eventually return to the city.

"Earth to Kate." He said and she was drawn out of her daydream. "I believe it's your turn."

"Dare." She finally said.

"Dance with me." He asked, wondering if he'd pushed it too far.

"I'm going to need a few more of these before that happens." She said, reaching over taking one in her hand. Not bothering with the salt or lemon this time. He did the same.

"Favorite band?" He asked, turning the shot glass upside down next to hers.

"The Who." She replied.

"Favorite movie?" He asked again.

"Forbidden Planet." She said picking up another shot and throwing it back.

"That's so hot." He said following her lead, taking another shot for himself too.

"Favorite Author?" He asked her again.

"You." She said and then she looked up, his eyes were big and he smiled. "Uh…." She tried to cover it up.

"You're not getting out of that." He reached over and picked up her hand and then stood up himself. "Its time to dance with your favorite author." He raised an eyebrow at her and she groaned.

Standing at that point was a tad difficult, she was a little worried about dancing.

He moved his hands around her hips and pulled her into him. Her hands reached up and she let them sit on his shoulders and he moved them slowly.

She had no idea what song was playing, it was slow though.

His hand moved up her back slowly, she closed her eyes at his touch against the bare skin of her back. His hand found the back of her neck and he pulled her in closer to him. He kissed her lightly on her cheek and then pulled her closer so they we were touching as much as they possibly could. She moved her hands down, resting them against his chest and nuzzled her head into his chest.

She couldn't keep the time she stood there with him, moving slowly around the floor. Occasionally he'd move his hands, never once letting her go but find ways for them to be closer. He kissed her forehead when she leaned back to look up at him, making sure this was real.

The there was a loud bang from the bar, they separated. He moved in front of her protectively and she smiled knowing he didn't know what exactly her profession entailed.

"Your boyfriend fell of his stool." Kate said into his ear and she watched the guy that she had watched Rick sign his chest, lay on the floor, passed out. The barman rolled his eyes and picked up the phone.

"I think I might have paid for that fall." He said smiling into her hair.

"You paid him off. That is cheating." She said, walking over to the booth and sitting back down.

"I was trying to impress you." He said, sitting back down and quickly downing a shot. "Payment paid in full." He scooted to the corner of the booth closest to her and smiled at her but she wasn't having any of it.

"Come on Kate, I did the shot." He was whining and she was trying not to laugh.

She just looked at him and shook her head but she wasn't expecting what happened next. He reached over a grabbed her legs pulling her down the seat, closer to him. He pulled her leg over his that was crossed so she was facing the corner and leaned into her. His hand traveled up her leg and rested on her thigh.

"Dare." She said quietly, moving her hands up and gripping his collar. They were so close, he was basically leaning on her.

"Let me kiss you." He said and without letting her answer, he had kissed her. It was a soft kiss, but it deepened when she parted her lips and let him in. She could taste the tequila on his lips as she slightly sucked his bottom lip when she felt him groan against her, her head spun. He pushed her against the back of the seat and his hands traveled up her thighs and then up the back of her shirt. She arched her back towards him when she felt his hands on her lower back, his hands lowered until he used them to pull her up and pull her onto his lap. Her legs now each side of his.

She pulled back, her eyes had flickered darker, more seductive and mysterious. She needed air, his hands clamped tightly around her hips, he slowly pulled her into him further.

Her hands clenched around his shirt and he smiled. Without hesitation she kissed him again.

When his pocket vibrated a moment later, she pulled back again and moved off him.

"Rick." He answered and it was the first tine she'd heard him say his own name. "Where is she?" He asked, moving down the booth his voice worried. "I'm on my way." And then he looked over to Kate and he closed his phone. "I'm sorry it's Alexis, she's been sick."

"Go." Kate said quickly, ushering him out and he left, basically running out of the pub to his sick daughter.

She leaned against the booth, covering her hand with her mouth. She'd just very sexually made out with her favorite author. She got up and grabbed her bag, noticing he'd left his journal there. She smiled and took the ace of hearts and quickly wrote 'Dare?' on it and slipped it into the first page before pulling the cord shut.

"Richard Castle left this at the pub we were in. Will you make sure it gets to him." Kate told the lady at reception and she nodded. "Of course, he's been walking around with this all day. I would hate to see if he lost it." Kate smiled at the lady and climbed the flight of stairs to her room smiling the entire way.

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><p><strong>Authors Note: What do you think? Please review.<strong>

**It's a little bit different to the storyline on the show but I kinda like that. **

**Also thanks to everyone who has put it on story alert, favorites etc. I was overwhelmed with the response.**

**H**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three.

Kate had spent the remainder of her trip in her room. She curled up in the beanbag on the porch and read a book, something she wouldn't have time for with her new job. She would look up occasionally to the beach, one time she swore she saw him but her eyes were simply playing tricks on her.

When she checked out that afternoon she was nervous about bumping into him in the lobby. What would she say to him? Would he even remember? He probably had nights like that all the time.

"That Richard Castle is such a good guest, always tips big too." The lady in her house cleaning uniform said to her friend at the park bench next to the car park said as Kate loaded her suitcase into her trunk, listening intently.

"He was running around yesterday like a man on a mission though." The lady took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Probably chasing that gorgeous daughter of his." The other lady laughed.

"Sue, at the front desk said he was looking for someone." The lady dropped her cigarette on the ground and stamped on it. "Quick we better get going." Kate watched the woman walk back to the hotel and she stood there completely confused.

The entire way back to the city she wondered if he had been looking for her? In the end she decided it wasn't possible, she wasn't the kind of woman Richard Castle went for at all.

-x-

"So?" Lanie asked as she watched Kate unpack her suitcase.

"So what?" asked Kate, knowing full right was Lanie was asking.

"Meet anyone?" Lanie raised an eyebrow at Kate who didn't respond. "Oh my God, you totally did." Lanie sat up, smiling.

"It was nothing." Kate said back to Lanie, shrugging her shoulders.

"Tell me everything." Lanie protested.

"I met this guy at a pub and we danced and then kissed. That's all." Beckett neglected to tell Lanie just who the guy was otherwise she would never let her live it down.

"And?" Lanie asked, etching forward, closer to Kate.

"That's it."

"Girl, I send you to the beach and you come back saying you only kissed someone?" Lanie rolled her eyes.

"It was enough, I've never a kiss like it, Lanie." Kate blushed, she usually wasn't into talking about her personal life, even with her best friend.

"Why didn't you do more?" Lanie asked.

"It wasn't actually an option." Kate said, thinking about Rick leaving to go look after his sick daughter. She couldn't exactly ask for his room number and casually knock on the door, could she?

-x-

Three months had passed since the night in the pub where Kate Beckett had witnessed a very different side to her favorite author. The first week after it had happened she was scared that she was going to run into him, she dreamed that she met him again and he didn't know her, it was more of a nightmare.

Kate sat in the coffee shop that was joined to a bookshop close to the 12th, swirling the last of her coffee around her cup.

She heard the bell on the door ring but didn't bother looking up. She was savoring her lunch break away from the craziness of the precinct. It had been a full moon the night before and the uniforms were bringing in arrests left, right and center.

She looked up over her cup when she heard a familiar laugh and the sound of clapping.

Richard Castle stood with arm around a blonde, slim woman who was also laughing, her hand on his chest.

Kate nearly spat out her coffee when she saw him, it brought up a ton of new feelings she didn't know she had towards him. His face was all over the city promoting his new book, _Storm Rising,_ it was on billboards, buses and on the side of buildings. When she walked out of her apartment and the bus had driven past with his ace on the side she felt the wind get knocked out of her. As she walked to the 12th he was everywhere, watching her every move.

She was getting used to seeing him everywhere but seeing him in the flesh was something else, it took her back to that night in the dingy pub where they played the game and when they kissed.

He was clean shaven now, wearing an expensive suit and was rubbing the woman's lower back who stood next to him. There was a large crowd gathering around the couple and Rick was making then all laugh with is pretty charming self.

"He's pretty good looking isn't he?" The lady said, holding the pot of coffee next to Kate's cup.

Kate had to stop herself thinking about his hands on her body, the taste of his kiss and the feeling of his body under hers.

"Uh. Yeah." Kate managed to blurt out, looking upwards towards the lady.

"Want another?" The lady asked, extending the pot.

"No, I have to get back to work." Kate stood, pulling her jacket on and walked to the door. She took one last look over her shoulder at Rick who was smiling at the crowd. She wanted to make a scene somehow, so he would be forced to turn to see her but with the grip on the mystery woman's back, she knew that he probably wasn't single and he probably wouldn't remember her anyway.

The official release of the book was the next day and Kate would be in line to get her copy in the morning, but this year, she wouldn't be getting it signed.

-x-

It was a beautiful morning in New York City when Kate walked out of her apartment. The air was crisp against her breath as she walked the few blocks to pick up Richard Castle's new book.

Suddenly she had this worry that he would be in her local bookshop, that somehow in all the bookshops in New York City that would be trying to poach him for the release that he would be in the one she went to. She tried to clear the image of bumping into him out of her mind when she opened the door to the bookshop door.

In a city of eight million other people, Kate knew her odds but fate seemed in intervene all the time regarding Richard Castle.

"I have a book to collect. _Storm Rising_ by Richard Castle." She told the woman behind the counter.

"Name?" She asked, looking up over her half moon glasses.

"Kate Beckett."

Kate looked around the bookshop, she was the only one inside. She couldn't help but feel sad, as much as the idea of him not remembering her or completely ignoring her made her feel sick, not seeing him at all was more sad than she thought.

"Here you go, dear."

-x-

It was well into the early morning and Kate was still reading. She couldn't put the book down and when she got to the last chapter, her mouth fell open in shock.

She closed the book and put it down on the table, then picked it back up and opened it back to the last chapter, read another line and she closed the book again and stood up.

"Oh my God…" She said quietly, looking over at the book which felt like it was screaming at her.

She sat back down, took a deep breath and opened the book again, holding her breath.

_Derrick stumbled into a dark and dingy pub in the lower side of Moscow. His leg was bleeding from a gun fight with a rogue American agent he was after. He slumped down at a booth with a large pint in his hand, opening his bag to get out something to stop the bleeding when he looked up and realized he wasn't alone._

_A woman looked up from her book and smiled. Her green eyes sparkling against the light above them._

_"I didn't see you, I'm sorry." Derrick stood up to leave and forgot about his leg, he winced with the pain._

_"What happened?" She asked, surprising him with her American accent. Downtown Manhattan he wondered._

_"Accidentally cut it." Derrick didn't elaborate on the epic gun fight he had just had in the cemetery three blocks down. Didn't tell her about the man he'd just killed and left to bleed out against the white winter snow._

_She pushed a white napkin towards him._

_"Thank you." He replied as she went back to reading her book. Her short brown hair fell softly around her face as she turned the page. _

_"What are you doing so far home?" Derrick asked holding the napkin against his wound. _

_"Work." She replied, closing her book and looking up to Derrick._

_"You?" She asked raising an eyebrow._

_"The same." Derrick watched her. He noticed a deck of cards on the side of the table. "You play?" He asked pulling them over to him._

_"Not very well." She shrugged her shoulders as he dealt the cards out._

_He wanted to know everything about her but she wasn't exactly an open book of knowledge. So with the cards in his hand, he devised a plan._

_"We'll make it interesting then. When I pull red I will ask you something about you and you pull black you ask me something?" Derrick looked back to her. He could see the struggle whether to play or not across her face. He knew he had her when he noticed her bite her bottom lip and he almost jumped across the table to kiss her. _

_"What about if I get red or you get black?" She asked, wiping the condensation from her drink with her index finer._

_"Bottoms up." He said raising his glass to her. "If you don't want to answer the question, you have to do a dare."_

_The woman looked up to Derrick, her eyes flashing black. "Deal them." She smiled._

_"Name?" Derrick asked when he pulled red._

_He watched her toy with her answer, not wanting to reveal too much to a stranger._

_"Dare." She replied, twisting her hair behind her ear._

_"Kiss me or tell me your name, that is what I'm offering.." Derrick smiled._

_She looked shocked at first but then smiled._

_"Kate." She simply said_.

Kate slammed the book shut. She knew what happened next, she was there. He had changed the setting but this was what happened at the beach between her and Richard Castle.

He had used her name even.

She didn't know whether to laugh or hyperventilate.

She opened the book again and kept reading knowing exactly what was going to happen next, her mouth fell open reading the game was basically word for word that they had played together. It had obviously been changed to incorporate Derrick's career, instead of Rick's.

She was a fast reader but she read slowly, each word at a time making sure to take it all in.

When she got to the scene where they danced, she closed her eyes. This was actually happening.

_"Dance with me." Derrick pulled her from the booth onto her feet. He couldn't feel the pain from his leg due to the large amount of vodka he had consumed._

_She was laughing, gosh her laugh was intoxicating and Derrick couldn't stop watching her. The bar was emptying and no one was down the end where they were. They were alone._

_He moved his hands to her hips and pulled her closer, the feeling of her body against him drove Derrick's mind into overdrive. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she gripped his shirt slightly. _

_They moved in silence, their bodies rocking against each other._

_When Derrick felt her hot breath on his neck he could barely see straight, his heart beat skyrocketed and he lowered his hands down her bare back, feeling her butt with his hands, he gently lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him. Their eyes stuck on each other, neither blinking. He lead her back to the booth and laid her down, him falling down on top of her._

_"Dare." She whispered to him, looking up at him._

_"Let me kiss you." He said, without waiting for her answer he kissed her. He felt her lips part and the taste of her tongue against his. Derrick moved his hand up her thigh and she arched her back knocking her hip into his and he thought he'd never be so turned on again. Her hands around his neck, pulling him into her further._

_Then the window above them shattered them in glass. Bullets were flying into the bar, Derrick looked down to Kate, her eyes concerned. He pushed her under the booth quickly, pulled the gun out of the back of his belt and ran out the door of the pub, chasing whoever was trying to kill him._

_"Kate, Kate." Derrick called out as he walked back into the pub that was now torn apart. The smell of vodka was potent and there were bodies laying motionless everywhere. He ran to the booth they shared but couldn't find Kate._

_Under a rock on the table was the queen of hearts with the word 'Dare' scribbled on it._

_Derrick smiled to himself, taking the card. He knew he would never find a girl like Kate in all his days left in his life._

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note: Wow, thank you all for the reviewssubscribers for the previous two chapters. I hope you all are enjoying it.**

**Glad so many of you are jumping on board for the ride. I promise it's going to be a good one. **

**This chapter is a little shorter than I wanted but I really think it needs to stand alone. Make sure you tell me what you think. **

**H .x.**_  
><em>


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Do not own Castle.

* * *

><p>Chapter Four.<p>

Kate walked into the morgue after closing her case, carrying the copy of _Storm Rising, _she pushed open the doors and Lanie looked up.

"Hey girl, what's up?" Lanie asked, getting up from her desk and walking over to Kate.

Kate handed her the book. "Read the last chapter."

"You know I have enough death to deal with without reading about it. I know you say these books are amazing but It's not my thing. Maybe later if I'm bored but I'm not going to start with the end chapter either." Lanie laughed.

"Seriously Lanie, read the last chapter."

"Fine." Lanie rolled her eyes and flicked the book open. Kate could tell where she was up to by the expressions on her face.

"What the hell is this?" Lanie asked looking up to Kate.

Kate had given Lanie other certain details over the last few months about the night in the pub. She'd never told her who exactly the person was she kissed but Lanie basically knew the entire story now.

"Did someone tell Richard Castle what happened between you and your mystery man and he wrote about it? That is kinda messed up if he did" Lanie was confused.

"Richard Castle is…." Kate paused "The mystery man."

"What?" Lanie yelled.

"Lanie, shhhhh." Kate was sure no one was down in the morgue but she still wanted to keep it as quiet as she could.

"Are you for real?"

Kate just nodded.

"Holy….wow. And he wrote about it? That's kinda hot." Lanie was smiling now.

"Really? I don't know how I feel about it." Kate shrugged her shoulders, pulling herself up onto the empty slab.

"Please tell me you're not mad." Lanie raised an eyebrow.

"I was. I am. I'm not sure."

"I would be ecstatic if I had a hot make out session with a famous author in the pub and he wrote about it in his latest book. Come on Kate, this is like a love story to you." Lanie said excited.

"No it isn't." Kate let out a sigh.

"You need to see him again. You need to go to another book signing."

"No way." Kate's voice was adamant.

"Well, I'm going to go and tell him I know who this 'Kate' is in real life. He's at Scorpio Books tonight, I saw it on my way to work." Lanie walked over to her chair and pulled her jacket off.

"Lanie you wouldn't. No please don't Lanie." Kate was basically running to keep up with her friend.

"It needs to be done." Lanie shrugged her shoulders.

Kate wasn't quite expecting this but she knew Lanie would do something about it, she was far too timid to do it on her own.

When Lanie quickly ducked through traffic Kate had to stop. She was a cop and she'd have to wait for the pedestrian crossing to flash green.

"Lanie…" Kate called out after her down the street. Lanie's walk was something else, Kate could run after suspects in heels but she could never keep up with Lanie.

She saw Lanie stop outside Scorpio Books and she turned to Kate, her face worried.

"What?" Kate caught up to her kinda breathless.

There inside the bookshop was Richard Castle and the same mystery woman Kate had seen with him a few days earlier, this time he wasn't rubbing her lower back, he was kissing her.

"Kate, I'm sorry." Lanie apologized walking away from the window, taking Kate's arm with her and leading her down the street.

"It's not like I have a claim to him." Kate shrugged, trying to not sound upset.

"Drinks on me." Lanie said, trying to make Kate smile and pulling her down the road to the nearest bar.

-x-

"Yo boss, that author you like is in the paper today." Esposito, Kate's partner chucked the Ledger over to Kate's desk. It had been a month since she had even thought about Richard Castle. The last time she'd seen him he was kissing a woman in a bookstore. She thought back to that day, it was the last thing she remembered. Lanie had paid for round after round of drinks and she had woken up the following day, in the late afternoon sprawled out on Lanie's couch.

Kate didn't even bother looking at the paper.

"Beckett, you hear me?" Esposito asked.

"Yeah but I'm busy, you know solving this murder." Kate smiled at Esposito and pointed towards the murder board.

After an hour it got the better of her and she flipped the paper over.

_'Richard Castle and publisher/girlfriend Gina Griffin have ended their relationship' _

_Sources close to the author have said that the relationship has been on the rocks and they have decided to call it quits to protect their business partnership. _

_'Gina has been overseen the publishing for all of Richard Castle's books thus far and it would be horrible for him to leave Black Pawn Publishing because of a personal reason.' A rep from Black Pawn released in a statement to the media._

Kate's eyes fell onto the picture of Rick. He was smiling and so was Gina but there was a giant cross through the middle of the image. Kate didn't know whether to smile or not.

-x-

A month later Kate was staring at the murder board when Ryan, the new member of her team walked to her desk holding a file. "Beckett, check this out."

"What is it?" Kate asked.

Esposito joined the pair.

"Our suspect received fifty grand a week before he killed out vic. Money came from an offshore account." Ryan looked up to Kate and Esposito.

"So that means he is a contract killer." Kate said, looking to the murder board.

"Explains why he is refusing to talk, He's worried we'll find out and link him to other murders." Esposito added.

"That's not all I found. I traced the bank account back to Conrad Ellis, the tycoon who owns half of Manhattan. He's known in the upper class circles as being quite the scumbag when it comes to shady deals. It turns out our vic wouldn't sell up to Ellis' company and without getting the property Ellis couldn't build his new skyscraper." Ryan smiled.

"Good work, bro." Esposito said to Ryan.

Kate smiled at the new relationship forming between her two partners. They were a new team but were working really well together.

"Well, we better bring him in then." Kate smiled at Ryan.

"And I know where he is." Ryan handed Kate a brochure for an event in the Upper East side. A charity gala for under privileged kids.

"You going to put on a dress, Beckett?" Esposito asked laughing.

"You wish." She replied, pulling her jacket on.

-x-

Kate flashed her badge at the entrance of the gala and security let them through without even asking questions. They split into three to try and find him the quickest.

"Excuse me, you're not on the list." A lady with a clipboard called out to Kate as she walked past.

"I don't need to be on the list. Where is Conrad Ellis?" Kate asked, flashing her badge again.

"You can't be here, he's a top donor to our charity and his security is a main concern." The lady spoke again, trying to show her dominance.

"Listen to me, I will arrest you for obstruction of justice if you don't tell me where he is, he is wanted in relation to a murder." Kate didn't always like being tough cop but sometimes, in situations like this, it was needed.

"Beckett!" She heard Esposito yell and she turned her head.

Conrad Ellis was running towards her, away from Esposito and Ryan. She sidestepped the lady and grabbed him by his arm, swung him around and slammed him down on the table.

"Conrad Smith, you're under arrest." She took the cuffs Esposito handed her and cuffed him.

People in the room were crowding around, hovering and watching with pleasure at the take down of one of Manhattans dirtiest players. He was cursing under Kate's grip and she was ignoring him.

"Take him." She said to Esposito and he pulled Ellis up, making him stand.

Kate stood up, scanning the room. It was police habit she couldn't kick and across the room she noticed someone familiar.

Richard Castle stood at the far end of the ballroom, his jaw almost hitting the ground. Her eyes locked on his for only a moment before she turned away.

"Let's go." She said, grabbing the arm of Ellis and making him walk.

"Wait. Kate!" She heard from the crowd. Kate closed her eyes briefly, took a deep breath and kept walking.

"Kate!" She heard again.

"Uhh Beckett, that author you like is calling your name." Esposito looked confused.

"Ignore it, I don't know him." She said, pushing down Ellis' head and guiding him into the waiting squad car.

"I think he knows you." Ryan said, half smiling.

"Take him in will you?" Kate asked, putting her hand on her head. She had no idea what was about to happen but she didn't want the boys seeing it.

They both nodded. "See you soon then, Beckett." Ryan said, looking over at her shoulder to a waiting Rick.

She watched the squad car leave and then Esposito's car closely following it.

Kate turned slowly to see Rick still looking confused as ever. "Kate…" He said quietly, taking a step closer to her.

She didn't know what to say so she stood there quietly.

"You're a cop." He said, his eyes widening and a smile creeping across his face. "That is so hot."

She tried not to smile even though she desperately wanted to.

"I have to get back to the 12th precinct." She said, looking up the road, wondering what the hell was wrong with her. Here was this guy that had followed her out of a building yelling her name, written a steamy scene about the two of them and their kiss and she was going to walk away.

"Can I take you out for dinner tonight?" He asked.

She began to say something but nothing came out.

"Please." He took another step closer and she immediately felt the attraction again.

"I've got this case and it's…"

"I'll wait." He interrupted. "Till your case is over then."

"Ok." She said, giving in.

"I'll ring you in a few days." He said looking over his shoulder at the crowd that was making their way out of the building.

"How?" She asked, confused.

He simply smiled at her. "I thought you were supposed to be the cop?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She couldn't help but smile.

-x-

"I heard you ran into Richard Castle." Kate looked up from her desk, Lanie was standing there with her arms crossed and lips pursed.

It had been less than twenty-four hours and somehow Lanie had already found out.

Kate looked over to Ryan's desk and he and Esposito both looked down, before walking casually into the break room looking very guilty.

"Lanie." She said quietly, closing the case file. "Not here, I'm almost finished and then we can go talk."

"Were you going to tell me?" She asked, leaning closer to Kate.

"There isn't much to tell. I saw him again, he saw me and asked me to dinner."

"And you think that's nothing to tell?" Lanie was smiling now.

"Detective Beckett?" Someone called and both her and Lanie looked up.

"Here." Lanie pointed towards Kate and the postwoman walked over to Kate, holding a letter.

"Thank you." Kate said after signing for it but the lady didn't leave.

"What's that?" Lanie asked as Kate turned the envelope over to read the senders name.

"It's from him." Kate looked up and Lanie's eyes grew.

"Open it!" Lanie squealed and Kate frowned at her.

_'Detective,_

_Dinner tonight?_

_Yes or no? _

_Circle one.'_

Kate looked up to the messenger frowning but she was smiling.

"Circle yes, just do it." Lanie grabbed a pencil from her desk and circled yes before Kate could protest.

Lanie put the card back in the envelope and handed it back to the messenger. She smiled and handed Kate another envelope before leaving.

_'The Oak Room. _

_10 Central Park South._

_Can't wait to see you._

_R.' _

"Oh my God. That place looks amazing, it's had the best reviews." Lanie exclaimed.

"What the hell was that?" Kate asked, holding up the envelope.

"What? The circle thing? I thought it was adorable." Lanie was smiling. "What are you going to wear?"

Kate would hate to admit that she did find his way of asking cute but that was overshadowed by what she was going to wear.

"I have nothing." Kate said worried.

"Shopping time." Lanie said walking to the elevator of the precinct, Kate signed another few pages in the folder and dropped it on Esposito's desk as she followed Lanie. Another case closed.

-x-

She saw Rick standing outside the restaurant before he saw her. He was leaning against the wall wearing black dress pants with a tucked in white collared shirt. She tried not to stare but he looked good.

"Kate." He said standing up straight. "You look gorgeous."

She smiled and looked down. Lanie had chosen a one shoulder aubergine colored dress. It was gathered at the top and flowed to just above her knee. She was wearing her favorite black power heels and had her hair down and curled.

"Thanks." She said.

"Have you been here before?" He asked, opening the door for her.

"No, actually I haven't." His hand on her lower back guided her through the door and she tried to regulate her breathing from his touch.

"Shit." She heard Rick say and he looked towards the ground.

"What?" Kate asked quietly, leaning in closer to him.

"You see that guy at the table closest to the flower arrangement?"

Kate looked up and saw a man siting at a table alone, swirling his wine. "Yeah." She said.

"He's going to ask us to join him, he makes it impossible to say no as well and he is the most boring person in the world. He owns the sister company to Black Pawn so I kind of have to say yes."

"Ok?" Kate didn't know where this was going.

"How set are you on eating here?" He asked, leaning in and whispering in her ear.

"I can manage to miss it." She smiled.

"Good, just don't make any sudden movements and back away slowly." Rick said standing behind her, pulling her hand towards the door. Kate laughed, she didn't mean to but it just happened.

"Quick" Rick said, pulling her to the door as she continued to laugh. Kate looked over her shoulder and the man had risen from his chair and was trying to see if it was Rick or not.

They were half a block away when Rick stopped and turned and Kate hit into him, his hands grabbing her hips. "He totally saw us." Rick was laughing and looking over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Kate said, smiling.

"Hearing you laugh will make up for whatever trouble I get into." His hands didn't move from her hips. "What are we going to do for dinner now?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders.

Kate looked left, towards Central Park and looked back to Rick and smiled.

-x-

"You know I didn't really expect that taking you on our first date would include siting on a bench in Central Park eating hotdogs out of tinfoil." Rick said looking at the pond.

"This is a date?" Kate asked, taking a bite.

"Well, if you will allow it then yes, it's a date." Rick looked over to her. "So?" he asked.

Kate shrugged her shoulders.

"I searched for you." He said, screwing up his tinfoil. "The entire next day at the hotel, I ran around trying to find you. I pleaded with the hotel staff to give me your name but no one was registered as Kate. I thought you'd given me a fake name." He laughed.

"Oh, my friend Lanie shouted me a surprise weekend away so they had her name so the confirmation email wasn't sent to me." Kate said.

"That explains that. Do you know how many Kate's there are in New York City? I contemplated ringing them all but apparently that's unhealthy." Rick laughed.

"I read the book." Kate said quietly, unsure if she really wanted to bring it up or not. She got to her feet, throwing the rubbish in the bin and walked towards the pond.

Rick got to his feet and followed her. "I'm sorry if you felt violated by it, I certainly didn't mean it that way."

Kate didn't respond straight away.

"I didn't know how I felt, I still don't." Kate was watching the darkness fall on the pond.

"I never thought I would never see you again, so I thought I might put it in the book and maybe you'd find me. Even if you came up to me and slapped me, it would have still been worth it to see you again."

Kate was shocked by his answer, he was so truthful.

"You changed the ending though." She turned to him. "I wrote on the ace of hearts, in the book you wrote it as the queen of hearts." That detail had always puzzled Kate.

"Wanted to keep some things a secret and I was trying to be poetic." Rick laughed and leaned against the railing of the bridge.

Kate didn't ask him to elaborate, she knew what he was meaning.

"You must have finished the book quickly after leaving the beach then?" Kate asked, remembering he said he had writers block at the pub.

"You could say I had a shot of inspiration." He winked at her, trailing his finger along her back as he walked past her.

She stood for a moment and then followed.

"So?" He asked.

"So what?"

"Is this a date?" He nudged her with his elbow as they walked down the pavement.

"Depends on what we're having for dessert." Kate smiled at Rick, she could not believe that this was happening again.

"Whatever you want."

"Hot fudge sundaes?" Kate asked. "I know this place called Remy's."

"I love that place." Rick said excitedly.

-x-

Rick slid into the booth after ordering for him and Kate, even after she had protested about buying her own.

"Last time we were in a booth like this…" Rick looked at Kate and raised and eyebrow.

"Seriously? You want to bring that up now?" Kate laughed, playing with the salt container.

"I think about it all the time." Rick smiled.

"Here you go." The waitress pushed the tray over to the two of them.

"Thank you." Rick said looking at the lady.

"Jeez, did you order everything?" Kate asked, eying up the sundaes, fries and milkshakes.

"I wanted to impress you. Did it work?"

"What impress me with your vast ordering skills? Yes, I'm so impressed." She used her most sarcastic voice ever and Rick just pouted.

"I used to come here all the time." Rick said after spooning ice-cream in his mouth.

"Same." Kate looked up from her sundae.

"Strange we never were here at the same time." Rick shrugged his shoulders.

"How do you know we weren't?" Kate asked.

"I would have noticed you." Rick smiled and Kate felt herself blush.

"I saw you after the beach." Kate said, carefully wording it so she wouldn't have tell him about getting her book signed.

"What?" Rick looked up shocked. "And you didn't come over?" he looked a bit hurt and Kate didn't really know what to say.

"Well the first time…"

"There was more than one time?" He interrupted her.

"You were at this book event and I couldn't exactly walk over to you and be like 'hey remember me?' and the second time you were busy kissing someone else, again I couldn't exactly tap you on the shoulder and ask you how you've been." Kate didn't mean for it to sound snarky but it came out that way.

"Gina." He said quietly.

Kate just shrugged it off dipping her french fries in her ice-cream.

"I can't believe I looked for you and you found me twice without looking." He said, picking up a milkshake.

"You weren't in a relationship at the beach were you?" Kate asked, having never really thought about it till now.

"Of course not. Gina and I were simply a story for the press, good or bad publicity is good apparently."

"You seemed to play the part well." Kate half smiled.

"What are you doing?" He asked, screwing his face up at Kate dipping her fries in her ice-cream.

"Try it." She said, pushing the fries to him.

"I'm worried." He said dipping the fries and eating them. "That's actually good, surprisingly good."

Kate just laughed.

-x-

It was well after midnight when Kate and Rick left Remy's, they'd talked about the book and he'd asked questions about her job which she didn't mind answering.

"So this is it." Kate said, pulling her jacket on over her dress.

"Not exactly the first date I had in mind, but I think it turned out to be better." Rick smiled. "If I can call it a date."

"I guess so." Kate smiled.

"Can I walk you home? Make sure you get home safely." Rick asked.

"I'm a cop remember." Kate had to laugh.

"Well, you could always walk me home to make sure I'm safe." Rick questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Goodnight, Rick." Kate leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before stepping back, turning around and walking down the sidewalk. She wanted to turn around, look over her shoulder to see if he was smiling as much as she was but she didn't.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note: There you go. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and subscribed so far, you are amazing.<strong>

**Apologies if there are quite a few mistakes in this chapter, we just had another reasonably big earthquake (5.5 on the ritcher scale) and I wanted to post it for you all in case we have another one and I loose power.**

** Tell me what you think!**

**H .x.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.**

**Author Note: Savor this chapter...you'll find out why at the bottom. (and don't slip to the bottom, you'll ruin it for yourself)**

* * *

><p>Chapter Five.<p>

Kate fidgeted in bed after her date with Richard Castle, she couldn't get to sleep. Every time she would close her eyes she would see him across the booth at Remy's or walking next to her through Central Park. His smile was contagious, his laugh would make her insides squirm with delight and his touch would send her heart fluttering.

She turned to look at her alarm clock when she saw light streaming through her windows.

5.06am.

"Shit." She quietly whispered, she had to be at work by 9.00am and she was yet to go to sleep.

She crawled out of bed an hour later to her phone ringing.

"Yo boss, we got a fresh one. 455 Madison Ave." Esposito said down the phone.

-x-

Beckett walked into the precinct some time after lunch, they had canvassed the area of the body and talked to witness'. She was hungry and hadn't even had her morning coffee. It was going to be a long day.

"We're going to go down to tech and see if they can pull anything from the memory card from the vic's camera." Ryan said over his shoulder, already walking out of the precinct with Esposito.

"I'll go check if Lanie has found anything." Kate said, even though she knew Ryan and Esposito had already left. She sat with her head in her hands for a while, trying to push her body to move. She was exhausted.

"Kate Beckett." She heard someone call and she looked up.

"Uh, yeah?" She questioned the lady.

"Sign here." She handed her a clip board and Kate complied, too tired to even ask.

The lady bent down and picked up a basket and handed it to Kate. Inside was a steaming hot cup of coffee and a bear claw.

Kate had to look up to the sky, wondering if her prayers were actually just answered. She pulled out the card and opened it, smiling.

_'If you got any sleep last night, it was more than I did. _

_Can't stop thinking about you._

_R. x_

_p.s I was going to get you donuts but I didn't want to seem cliche.'_

She stared at the basket before she pulled out the coffee and took a sip. She loved coffee, it was like her choice of drug and this was the best fix she ever had.

She grabbed her phone and headed to the morgue with her new boost of energy.

-x-

"Victim is Simon Carver, GSW to the chest, he bled out. Nothing strange on the body, no fibers yet." Lanie said, not looking up once.

"I'll let Ryan and Esposito know." Kate looked down, sending the details to both of their phones.

"Come on." Lanie said, finally looking up.

"What?" Kate asked confused, putting her phone back in her pocket.

"You're seriously going to withhold last nights information from me?" Lanie asked, now smiling.

"Oh yeah. It was nice." Kate just shrugged and leaned back against the spare slab, holding her cup of liquid gold in her hands.

"That's all I get? It was nice? I'm going to come over there and smack you. I want details."

Kate gave in and told her friend about the date. Lanie would occasionally look up and smile, she gasped at one point when Kate told her about him trying to find her.

"I haven't seen that smile that's plastered all over your face for a while Kate, I'm happy for you." Lanie said sincerely.

"And then he sent me coffee and a bear claw this morning with this." She fetched the note out of her pocket and handed it to Lanie who had just pulled her gloves off.

"Marry him. If a guy came in here with coffee that smelt half as good as that cup in your hand and a bear claw, I wouldn't waste anymore time." Lanie laughed but Kate wondered how serious it was.

"I don't know what I should reply with?" Kate asked, flipping her phone open.

"Ask him to marry you." Lanie laughed pulling the black lights over the vic's body, examining closely.

-x-

It was a little after 8.00pm when Kate got back to her apartment. She flopped down on the couch with takeout and pulled out her phone.

_K : 'Thanks for the coffee and bear claw today, saved my life. I was the walking dead before it arrived.'_

She turned her phone over and pushed it down the couch and turned the TV on, trying to focus on something else other than her phone.

When it vibrated she almost threw her dinner across the room. She pulled her phone back to her and opened it.

_R : 'I'm the walking dead right now, well if we're being technical, I'm a zombie. It's Alexis' 10th Birthday party tomorrow and we're doing a dry run for costumes. I swear, I'm more excited about the dressing up/decorating than she is. So glad to hear from you, thinking about you all day.' _

Kate smiled. He was such an involved Dad, she could just imagine him getting excited about dressing up and decorating.

Did she reply though? What would she reply? She put her phone down and decided to focus on her dinner instead.

After dinner Kate sat staring at her phone. She had no idea what was playing on the TV, she had been watching her phone for the last half hour instead.

She gave in and grabbed her phone.

_K : 'No princess theme? You'd look cute in fairy wings….'_

She couldn't help herself, she was smiling so much.

_R : 'That was last years theme. It was a toss up between zombies or Jurassic Park this year. When you meet her and she's not knocking you over, you'll see how cute a zombie she makes. Honestly Detective, you should have seen the wings I had, they were gorgeous.' _

Kate froze. He had brought up meeting his daughter. This wasn't a step she was expecting for a while. He had briefly talked about her the night before at Remy's but she could tell that he hid her away until he was sure that someone couldn't hurt her.

Her phone buzzed again.

_R : 'I would have invited you tomorrow but I didn't want to sound desperate to see you and I thought you'd probably be out protecting Gotham City. Plus I can't maim the creepy Moms with a cop in the house…'_

Kate laughed.

_K : 'Creepy Moms? They can't be that bad. As for Gotham…yeah it's my turn to hold the fort down tomorrow, if I see the flood light in the sky tomorrow, I know it'll be your stress signal.'_

_R : 'That was so hot. I can't even. Wow. As for the Moms…you just have to witness it for yourself, you wouldn't believe me if I tried. Have to tuck my baby zombie in now and get some sleep myself, you had me staring at the ceiling all night last night. Until tomorrow. X'_

_K : Have a great day, try not to maim anyone other wise I'll have to arrest you. X'_

Kate debated over the use of the 'x' at the end but hit send before she could stop herself.

She crawled into bed smiling, trying to push him out of her head so she would at least get a few hours of sleep.

-x-

The day had moved so slowly, these had no real leads in the case and it was getting dark out. The memory stick had turned up a bust and Lanie hadn't found anything strange. It was a simple murder and those were the hardest to crack open.

"Financials came back for Simon Carver, nothing out of the ordinary. He has no family either, no next of kin. The guy was a ghost, Beckett." Esposito said, sitting down on the side of the desk, looking up at the murder board and sighing.

"This isn't good." Kate shook her head. "OK, start again tomorrow. This case needs fresh eyes."

"You going out with that famous author guy then?" Esposito asked as Kate grabbed her jacket.

"What? No." She tried to sound as surprised as she could.

"Not what we heard." Ryan chuckled.

"I'm going to kill Lanie." Kate rolled her eyes. "We went out once, that's it, now quit it or I'll bust you both down to trafficking." Kate smiled.

"You don't have the authority for that." Esposito laughed.

"But Captain likes me the most and would listen if I told him you two weren't pulling your weight." Kate was completely toying with them.

They looked at each other and then both zipped their mouths shut.

"That's more like it. I'll see you both on Monday." Kate walked towards the elevator and she heard them laughing. She was excited to have the weekend off.

-x-

When Kate's phone buzzed she quickly opened thinking it would be from Lanie, they were supposed to be going out for a drink but Lanie had been called in on a fresh body and she probably wouldn't be making it out of the morgue tonight.

When a picture message popped up from Rick, Kate smiled.

It was a picture of the bat signal from Batman, shining over Gotham City.

_K : 'Remember that I can't be the one to help you hide the bodies…'_

_R : 'You certainly can make me smile though. I was a good boy, no causalities, unless you count my sanity. A house full of ten year olds can do a person's head in. What are you doing? I'm assuming you've hung up your cap and mask for tonight?'_

_K : 'Officially off duty. Gotham is in someone elses hands tonight. Was going out with a friend but she's a medical examiner and there is no time frame for body drops.'_

_R : 'You wont get called in?'_

_K : 'Not my jurisdiction and it's my w/e off.'_

_R : 'That's it, we're going out. Meet you at Elixir in half an hour?'_

_K : 'After the day you've had? You sure?'_

_R: 'I need it.'_

-x-

Kate walked into Elixir half an hour later. It was a quiet bar and restaurant next to the park. She saw him sitting at a table and made her away over to him. She was nervous the entire walk over but it melted away when she saw him.

"Hey." She said, sitting down across from him.

"Hey you." He said, smiling at her.

"You look how I feel." She said, resting her head in her hand.

"Long day being one of New York's Finest?" He asked and she smiled. "I'm meaning being a cop but I can also admit you are defiantly one of the finest looking people in this city as well." He winked.

"Flattery will only get you so far." She laughed, curling her hair in her fingers. "But yeah, tough case."

"I would have traded you a room full of ten year olds and clingy Moms in a second."

"How were the Moms?" Kate asked.

Rick just gave her a look that said it all.

"They can't be all bad though?"

"One spent the morning at the country club, turned up to the party steaming drunk and decided to hang off my arm all afternoon, whispering sweet nothings in my ear." Rick said laughing.

Suddenly Kate felt a spark of jealously.

"Do I detect jealously?" He asked, leaning closer to her and never missing a beat.

She simply rolled her eyes. "Did Alexis have a good day?" She asked, changing the subject.

"She did, although at things like this she realizes she isn't like the other kids. She goes to a private school, it was my decision. Academically it is good and she needs the challenge but the kids there aren't the same as her. She never had a nanny, I looked after her. When she wanted toys, she would save her pocket money and do jobs around the house. She wasn't the kid with the silver spoon in her mouth like the others in her class."

Rick's confession shocked Kate. She had seen him on page six numerous times with supermodels on one arm, sports cars and houses in the Hamptons but in reality he was a Dad with a chance to better his kid and didn't let the fame or money depict how he raised his child.

"That's kind of refreshing to hear actually." She said purely.

"Makes me hot though, right?" He said smiling and there was the Richard Castle that page six loved.

She leaned back in her chair laughing.

"Tell me something, why are you a cop?" He asked and she wasn't prepared for that question at all.

"Why are you a writer?" She asked, turning the question around.

"Turning the question is a nice tactic Detective, I'll give it to you for now, but I will find out." He said, raising his arm to the waiter and she sat there never wanting him to know why she chose to be a cop, why her pain and grief forced her into the uniform.

"Shots?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and she shook her head.

"Two long island iced teas."

The waiter walked away.

"What? They are worse than doing shots." Beckett rolled her eyes.

"I'm being symbolic."

"What?" She asked him.

"Well, we met in Long Island….we should be drinking Long Island iced teas." He smirked.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" She asked, taking the drink that was just placed in front of her.

"Possibly, you can't keep your hands off me when you're drunk." His blunt answer made her laugh.

"I think you've had enough hands on you already today." She smiled.

Rick shuddered at the thought of the Moms at Alexis' party. "Touché Detective." He raised his glass to hers and she did the same.

"So who is looking after Alexis now if you don't have a nanny?" Kate asked, taking a sip of her strong drink.

"My Mother, she owes me a few favors and was staying in tonight anyway."

Kate looked up at Rick and was confused.

"Oh yeah, sometimes I forget about this story and sometimes I just don't tell people on purpose. My Mother lives in the loft with Alexis and I. It was only supposed to be for a few months after her marriage broke up but she's good for Alexis and even though I'd never admit it, I enjoy her being there." Rick smiled.

"What about Alexis' Mom?" Kate wondered why he hadn't mentioned defending off the crazy Moms with Alexis' Moms help.

"Meredith, she lives in LA, career over family." He shrugged his shoulders. "Alexis misses her, especially when she is too busy on days like this. Couldn't make it for her own kids birthday."

"I can see why you need these then." Kate rattled her drink and Rick smiled.

"Enough about the Castle family drama, tell me about this case." He said and his eyes grew.

"You know that I'm not supposed to tell civilians about on going cases." She shrugged.

"Civilian?" He asked, and she could tell she wounded his pride.

"It's not interesting anyway, wouldn't want to bore you."

"You could read me the telephone book and it wouldn't be boring."

-x-

After another Long Island iced tea, the pair left the pub. Kate's head felt free and she couldn't stop smiling.

They walked through the park, not really walking anywhere in particular.

"Kate." Rick said stopping, and Kate stopped and looked over her shoulder at him.

"What?" She asked, trying to see what he was fixated on.

"Let's go in the boats!" He started to run off towards the main pond.

"Rick, no, Rick!" She yelled after him.

"Come on!" He said as she caught up to him, he grabbed her hands and pulled her to the boat station.

"I can't." She managed to stop him.

"Do you have a phobia of boats?" He asked frowning.

"No, what? who has a phobia of boats? I'm a cop. I can't be running around the city like this, It's not professional." She was trying so hard to be serious.

"You need to have fun and you said before Gotham isn't you concern tonight." She let him pull her to the docking station.

He handed the guy a few notes and picked the best boat, the entire time Kate was rolling her eyes at him. The man stuck the pole with their lantern light in the front of the boat so it would show them where they were sailing.

"Careful." He said, holding his hand out as she climbed in the boat. In her entire life, she had been in the Central Park boats twice, both with her Mother on a hot Sunday afternoon.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Kate smiled, actually enjoying herself.

Rick rowed out to the middle of the lake, other boats lights were flashing around the lake too but no one was close to them.

They were siting next to each other until he turned around throwing his jacket on the floor of the boat, and slid of the seat, resting his legs on it.

"What are you doing?" She asked, looking down at him stretched out on the floor of the boat.

"Being very comfortable and looking at the stars. Join me?" He asked and she shook her head.

He reached out and pulled her hand, she looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"You know you want to." He smiled as she could see his the flash of his smile from the moonlight.

"Fine." She couldn't sit there any longer and he did look comfortable.

She rested her feet on the seat, next to his and looked up to the sky.

"Is this what you do for all your second dates?" Kate asked, looking over to him.

He turned his head to her with a shock expression.

"What?" She asked.

"You just called this a date." He was smiling.

"No, I didn't." She knew she had, she was kicking herself now.

"You did so." He laughed. " And no, I have never done this on a date or at night for that matter. Only ever done it with Alexis during the day."

"I like it at night." She said, staring upwards. She could feel Rick's eyes on her.

"Why?" He asked, his shoulder brushing hers.

"It's calm. There are no sirens, no honking, no screaming."

"You're right." Rick said quietly as he intertwined his fingers with Kate's.

They laid in silence for a while, neither saying anything but it not becoming awkward.

"Tell me what you're thinking." She asked, turning her head to him.

He moved their embraced hands onto his chest and wrapped his other hand around Kate's. She could feel the beat of his heart, it was steady and reassuring.

"I'm thinking I might have to be the luckiest guy in this city. I have a gorgeous daughter at home who today celebrated her 10th birthday, I have a caring Mother who is baby-sitting for me right now as I lay next to one of the three most gorgeous people I have ever laid eyes on, the other two are tucked up in bed at the loft. Can't get much luckier than that."

She pulled her hand away from his grip and used it to turn his head towards her. She reached up and kissed him, a light kiss. The butterflies in her stomach somersaulting at the feeling of his lips against hers again.

"Actually, now I think I might be the luckiest guy." He smiled at her, kissing her again.

"Rick?" She said, their faces so close their noses were brushing.

"Yeah?" He asked, in-between planting quick kisses on her lips.

"Thanks." She simply said, letting the kiss deepen. His tongue finding hers slowly as he cupped her face. She nibbled at his bottom lip gently.

"God, when you do that…it…" Rick was breathless.

Kate just laughed as he outstretched his arm and scooped Kate into him, her hand resting on his chest and her head leaning against his side.

She closed her eyes smiling. The painful memory that she would never get to spend another hot Sunday afternoon on the pond with her Mother again vanished as she thought about the new memory she had just created with Rick.

-x-

"Goodnight, Rick." She said, standing on her stoop. Rick had pleaded to walk her home and she couldn't be bothered fighting it. He took her hand in his and they walked hand in hand the entire way back to her apartment.

"Until the next time, Detective." He stood a step down from her, but was still a fraction taller than her.

"You can't just say goodnight?" She asked, smiling.

"It's the writer in me." He leaned in, kissing her cheek, hovering for a moment before kissing her on the lips.

It was a short goodnight kiss, he stepped down another step and smiled up at her before walking down the street.

She leaned against the wall in the elevator smiling to herself when she heard her phone buzz.

She pulled it out and took a deep breath in before she read it.

_R : 'Best date ever.'_

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note number two: This is the last chapter for a few weeks so I hope you savored it. I've got essays and exams to study for that need my time. If anyone wants to write my art history essays for me...I am more than willing to trade a few long, juicy chapters for it haha.<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I was almost going to leave it on a cliffhanger but I thought that would be too cruel to make you wait so long. **

**I'll say sorry now for the wait, I promise I'll try to update when I have a free day off but it's not looking likely. Check out my other stories in the mean time if you haven't already, they might tie you over.**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter too. I love your reviews, they make me smile and make me happy.**

**Have a wonderful week.**

**H .x.**_  
><em>


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six._  
><em>

_R : 'Can I ask a question?'_

Kate read her phone and looked up and around the precinct. It had been a long week and she hadn't seen Rick since their date in the Central Park boats.

_K : 'Sure.'_

_R : 'It's a complete hypothetical question but If I was to walk into a precinct and possibly kidnap a detective, would I be arrested?'_

_K : 'Yes, but I would give you kudos for trying. Maybe a slap hand on the hand if this would be your first offensive'_

_R : 'Before you read my rap sheet….I can explain the horse situation.'_

_K : 'What? Do I need to go down to records?' _

_R : 'Please let me explain it. Dinner tonight? I miss you.'_

_K : 'Can't, no leads in case, big night in precinct for me.'_

_R : 'I need to see you soon before I start murdering people.'_

_K : 'Patience.'_

Kate barely had any patience but she needed to try what she was preaching to Rick. She put her phone down and turned to the murder board.

-x-

It was a long weekend inside the precinct walls, she was forgetting what the outside looked like when Esposito finally managed to crack open the case with finding the murder weapon at a local pawn shop. Ryan linked it back to the Irish mafia in town and Simon Carver's killer was caught red-handed in the middle of another murder.

Kate decided to ring Rick on her way home, they had been send each other the 'flirty getting to know you messages' recently but she could barely keep her eyes open long enough to write a message.

"Hey!" He picked up after the first ring.

"Hi…" She said, ducking behind a cab and crossing the road.

"What are you doing?" He asked, clearing hearing the honking of the cab down the phone.

"Case is finished, on my way home." She said, moving out the way of an older couple trying to navigate their way through a busy New York City street.

"You sound tired. Are you going straight home?" He asked.

"Yeah, was thinking about getting some take out on the way home. What are you doing?"

"Alexis is at a sleepover so I'm playing Guitar Hero as loud as the TV volume will go…" She heard him chuckle at the end.

"Did you want to come over?" She asked, then stopping on the side of the street to smack herself in the face at what she just asked. Sure she wanted to see him, but she had been working nonstop for the last two days and had barely slept.

"You sound really tired, Kate."

She could tell he wanted to come and she really wanted to see him.

"You don't want to?" She asked and then realized that she should never talk to people on the phone that she likes when tired and overworked.

"I really do but you actually sound exhausted and I don't want to take you away from rest. How about lunch? I don't have to pick up Alexis till two."

"Sounds nice. Meet you at Remy's at midday?" She asked, pulling the front door to her apartment open.

"Can't wait."

-x-

Kate was running late, she hadn't even eaten dinner when she got home the night before, she'd fallen into her bed and woke up when the sunlight was filling the room and she needed to crack a window to get some air in.

"Hi." She said sitting down and out of breath at the booth they sat at on their first date."Sorry I'm late, crashed last night and only just woke up."

He simply smiled at her. "You look amazing."

She rolled her eyes. She'd managed to shower in record timing, pulling her hair into a bun when it was semi dry and letting her fringe dry naturally. Her make up was basically non existent apart from a bit of mascara and powder on her cheeks. She was wearing casual skinny leg jeans and a loose top.

"Thanks." She said, picking up the menu. "What are you getting?" She asked, looking up to Rick, who was still staring at her.

"You're staring." She smiled.

"Sorry, I haven't seen you for a week so I'm allowed to stare."

"Well, you've seen me now so quit the eagle-eying, it's creepy." She had to admit that her insides were somersaulting at seeing him as well. She thought she was playing it cool, downplaying the fact she thought about him constantly but now she knew otherwise.

"Pancakes." He finally said, taking his eyes from her to the menu.

"I might get the same." She looked at him reading the menu. He had a bit of stubble today and was wearing a black shirt and jeans.

When their food arrived Kate didn't realize how hungry she was. "I don't think I've eaten since yesterday morning." She said, pouring maple syrup on her pancakes.

"Kate, that is shocking. Next time you have to work like that, call me and I'll drop you in dinner."

Kate looked up at him, he wasn't kidding.

"I can just imagine what people would say if that happened." Kate laughed thinking about Esposito and Ryan's faces if Richard Castle walked in with dinner.

"Well I would make enough for the entire precinct and make it sound like I was just doing it for the people that protect the city I love." He smiled at Kate. "But they might see the flaw in my plan when I wouldn't be able to stop staring at you."

Kate just looked at him and rolled her eyes. "So are you going to tell me about the incident with the horse or will I have to go and read your file?" She asked, winking at him.

"It was ages ago but I was quite drunk and I stole a police horse…"

"You did what?" She asked, louder than she thought when people turned to look at them.

"That's not exactly the worst of it." His cheeks had gone a scarlet color.

"Jeez Rick, what else?"

"I was naked at the time."

Kate almost spat her coffee across the table at Rick.

"What? Are you kidding?" She asked, putting her coffee down so she didn't spill it.

"Do you think less of me? It was a long time ago and I was in a dark place." He said, shrugging it off.

Kate thought about her dark place when her Mom died and decided that she could let this slide.

"Impressed actually." She smiled.

Rick smiled at her, his smile literally made her insides melt.

"I wonder how Alexis is getting on." He said, his tone changing from sheepish and embarrassed to worried parent in a millisecond. "She didn't want to go and I kind of forced her into it." He said, sounding horrified.

"She didn't want to go?" Kate asked, pushing her fruit salad around in the bowl deciding if she wanted to finish the pancakes first or not.

"She doesn't really get along with some of the girls but I told her that she needs to make the effort. These girls are going to be in her class until high school." Rick said, looking out the window and pushing his half eaten plate away from him.

Kate was trying to think about something to answer with when his phone rang.

"Sorry, it's Shelby's Mom." He said, picking up his phone.

Kate nodded.

"Rick." He answered simply.

Kate could hear muffled tones.

"I'll be right over. Thanks for ringing." He flicked his phone and looked up to Kate. "They were supposed to be bowling but Alexis can't stay awake and asked to go home."

Kate smiled, remembering the days of birthday parties and trying to stay awake after staying up all night.

"Come with me."He said, pulling his jacket over.

Kate's face must have mirrored her thoughts.

"I barely got to spend anytime with you and Alexis will crash as soon as we get home. We can hang out at the loft." He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal.

"Isn't this moving too fast? You barely know me." She asked, clearly worried.

"Do you not hang out at your friends houses? And you have a badge…I think I can judge your character from that." Rick stood up, grabbing Kate's jacket and holding his hand out. "Please?" He asked and she couldn't refuse.

-x-

Kate waited in the lobby of Shelby's apartment building. It was on 5th Avenue and the marble flooring Kate was standing on was worth more than her entire apartment building.

"Kate." Rick called out and she spun around to find him and Alexis walking out from the elevator.

Alexis looked exhausted, her red hair tied neatly into two braids.

"Hi." Kate said looking at Alexis who smiled.

"Alexis this is Kate and Kate this is Alexis." Rick introduced the pair and they both smiled.

"Hi Kate, nice to meet you." Alexis leaned against Rick's side and closed her eyes. "Dad, I'm really tired."

"Yes, we'll go back to the loft now. Piggyback baby grasshopper?" Rick raised his eyebrows and Alexis simply nodded.

They were walking down the street when Kate looked up at Alexis. She was sound asleep, her arms tucked around Rick's neck and her head resting on his shoulder. She missed being able to sleep soundly in a place like New York City, she missed being able to drown out the noises and just focus on sleep.

"She out?" Rick asked, catching Kate looking at her.

She just nodded.

"The last time she was this tired was when I made her stay awake for New Years Eve a few years back. I think she slept for a week after that." He laughed.

-x-

Kate stood by the door in Rick's loft when he went and put Alexis to bed.

"Kate, why are you standing there?" He asked, frowning at her still standing by the front door.

"Sorry, wow this place is amazing." She said, walking into the room.

The loft was massive, Kate's apartment could fit inside it more than three times.

"Movie?" Rick asked, shrugging his shoulders and ignoring her comment about the loft.

"Sure." She said, smiling.

"Any preference?" He asked.

"Surprise me." She said, sitting down on the couch.

He pressed play and ran into the kitchen, Kate's eyes followed him.

He put down two bottles of water and a bunch of snacks. The couch was huge but he sat next to Kate, their legs brushing.

"Batman and Robin?" Kate asked, rolling her eyes at Rick.

"I thought it would be funny." Rick was smiling.

"Yeah and George Clooney is hot." Kate smiled at Rick who was pouting.

"Whatever." He shrugged his shoulders and acting wounded. Kate had to laugh at him.

"You aren't too bad yourself you know" She nudged his shoulder with hers.

Rick smiled but instead of saying anything, he placed his hand on her knee and squeezed gently, leaving it there.

Kate was totally invested in the movie that when she turned to see Rick, she was confused when he wasn't there. She looked around the room but couldn't see him. They were half way into the movie by her memory and she couldn't remember him getting up.

"Sorry, just checked on Alexis." He said, sitting back down on the couch a few minutes later. "You were really invested in the movie." He laughed.

"Yeah, there is something about George Clooney that just draws me in." She said in a teasing tone. "Is she still asleep?" She asked, yawning herself.

"Yeah, I don't know whether to wake her up or let her sleep right through. I don't want to mess up her sleeping patterns but I don't fancy a grumpy ten-year-old either, she'll be coming off the sugar rush as well. What do you think?"

Kate was stumped, she could barely look after herself let alone give advice on a child's well-being.

"Well, from experience of going to those kinds of parties when I was her age, I would suggest letting her sleep until dinner time unless she wakes up herself, if not wake her and feed her dinner and send her back to bed."

Kate yawned again.

"Don't you fall asleep on me as well." Rick said, leaning his head on her shoulder.

"It's just been such a long week." She replied, quietly.

Rick put his hand on her thigh and squeezed gently. "I've missed you." He said, looking up to Kate.

She yawned again and he had to smile. He sat up and moved down the couch away from Kate. She immediately found her side cold and she looked over to him in confusion. He tucked his foot under his other leg and grabbed a pillow from the floor, putting it on his lap.

"Come here." He said, tapping the pillow.

She wanted to stop herself, yell at herself that this was moving way too fast but she couldn't. She just did what he said because that look in his eye trapped her in and everything seemed like a good idea.

She laid down on the pillow, her face looking up towards him. His hands went to her hair and he pulled a funny face. She lifted her head, pulling out the elastic band and pulling it onto her wrist. His fingers went through her hair gently, curling it between his two fingers. She could feel herself falling asleep. She thought back to when her Mother used to play with her hair after she had had a nightmare and how it would calm her down so she could sleep again.

"Rick…"She said quietly, not opening her eyes.

"Yeah." He answered, moving her hair from the side of her face, his fingers gently brushing her cheek.

"Curling my hair makes me tired so stop or I'll fall asleep."

He stopped, moving his hand away. Within seconds it was back, running his fingers through her hair.

"Stop.." She fidgeted in his lap and he laughed. "I'm sure you didn't ask me around to send me to sleep." She said, knowing after she had said it, it didn't really make any sense.

"You are here, that's the main thing." He smiled, but she didn't see it.

-x-

Kate woke an our later and sat up quickly.

"Woah, Kate!" Rick said, sounding shocked by her sudden movement.

"Sorry." Kate shook her head, running her hands through her hair.

Rick pulled her shoulder gently and she fell back down into his lap.

"You gave me such a fright, feel this." He took her hand and put it on his chest. She couldn't tell if it was his heartbeat or hers at the feeling of his chest under her hand.

"It's a cop thing you know, unfamiliar surroundings turn to panic mode." She tried to shake it off. "Alexis didn't wake?" She asked, not knowing what the time was.

"Nope." He looked over his shoulder, towards the staircase. "Must be really tired." He was playing her hair again and she could feel her eyelids closing.

She pulled herself out of it and sat up, away from his hands.

"I'll fall back asleep." She said when he frowned at her.

She tucked her legs under her, facing Rick with her arm leaning against the couch.

"Tell me something." She said, drawing circles on the couch with her index finger.

"I spent the last hour trying to figure out how I could look more like George Clooney." He looked at her and she laughed.

"Seriously?" She asked, looking at the screen that was paused.

"Yeah." He nodded, laughing.

She moved closer to him, running her fingers down the side of his face, his stubble tickling her. "Don't tell anyone but I think you're more handsome than George Clooney." She smiled at him and his eyes grew big.

"That is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me." He laughed.

"You wont hear it again from me so savor it." She let her fingers run through the side if his hair and then rest on his shoulder.

What happened next, Kate wasn't expecting. Rick threw the cushion on the ground and moved her legs to him, without effort he pulled her into his lap so each of her legs were on either side of his.

Without a word he was kissing her. His hands cupping her face, drawing her closer into him. She fought the urge to let him in but gave up when she felt his tongue against hers. Her hands around his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt.

She finally broke away, leaning back from him. He moved her hair from her face and ran his thumb over her lips.

She kissed him this time, letting a faint moan escape from her mouth when she felt Rick's hands on her hips, moving her closer to him.

They broke apart when they heard a door upstairs open and another one close. Kate could tell by the echo sound the door made when it closed, Alexis was in the bathroom She quickly moved off Castle, pulling her hair back up into a messy bun. When her phone vibrated on the coffee-table she knew exactly who it would be.

"Beckett." She answered the phone, watching Rick's reaction to her using her last name. "I'll be there in twenty." She flipped her phone closed.

"Impeccable timing, as always. Body dropped." She smiled.

"Child awake." Castle pointed up the stairs.

She grabbed her bag and made her way to the door, Rick close behind.

"Call me later." He said, opening the door for her.

She nodded.

And before she could say anything he grabbed her for another kiss. "The way you answered your phone was totally hot by the way." He whispered into her hair before kissing her on the cheek.

She just smiled and walked out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note: SURPRISE! You got a chapter and I should be studying! It's 1.35am here in NZ and I'm wide awake and my brain is fried from studyessay writing. So I thought I would sit down and have a break and then this chapter just fell out of my brain. (So excuse the mistakes.)**

**I'll be finished Uni for Summer next Thursday so get ready for loads of updates then. **

**But I miss you all so I thought I would give you this now. Hope you enjoy it!**

**H .x.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven.

Over the previous week, Rick and Kate had been to the movies one night and out to dinner the next. He was being the perfect gentleman and Kate found if oddly refreshing. But it had been over a week since her dinner date with Rick and Kate missed him. She barely wanted to acknowledge the fact herself, let alone tell him so when he rung and cancelled the plans they had made for dinner that night, she brushed it off.

She knew that he would eventually have to cancel plans because of Alexis and she wasn't mad. He was a father and it was his job.

Kate put away the groceries she had purchased earlier for the meal she was planning on cooking him, and sat herself down on the couch.

-x-

She heard a quiet knock at the door and she sat up utterly confused.

She walked to the door and silently looked through the peephole, outside her door stood Richard Castle.

"Hi…" She said, opening the door.

"Hey." He smiled at her, handing her a bag.

"What are you doing here? You said Alexis had a science project?"

Rick walked into Kate's apartment for the first time, looking around he smiled, "It's very you," He said looking back to her, "I have just finished plastering the planets together on the wire, painting is drying and Alexis is out cold. Mother is looking after her."

Kate glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was nearly 2am.

"I did ring but you didn't pick up and it didn't go to voice message, so I kind of got a little worried because I know it's your two days off." Rick shrugged at Kate and she could hear the worry in his tone.

Kate walked over to her bag, fished out her phone and looked at her missed call list.

"Sorry, I fell asleep on the couch." She smiled to reassure him.

"I can go if you want, I thought I would bring over a late dinner or early breakfast. Whatever you want to call it, but if you're tired?" Rick asked.

"No, you should stay." Kate smiled, pulling open the brown paper bag.

They sat on her couch eating homemade hash browns and toasted bagels.

"I'm sorry that I had to cancel plans." Rick looked over at Kate apologetically.

"It's fine, I know that it'll happen." Kate shrugged her shoulders.

"You sounded upset on the phone though." Rick's voice was quiet and he sounded sad.

Kate wanted to pinch herself, she thought she had played it cool on the phone but obviously not. She just looked at him and smiled. What was this? They had only been out a few times and yet it felt more serious than any of her other previous boyfriends. Could she even call him her boyfriend?

She shrugged her shoulders again, not entirely sure what to say. They sat there silently for a moment, Rick had put his plate down and was facing Kate.

"Tell me something." He said, putting his hand on her leg.

"What?" She asked.

"Tell me why you became a cop?"

Kate breathed in and closed her eyes. There it was, the question that could change everything.

-x-

Rick was silent after she had told him. She barely went into details but she could see the confusion in his eyes.

"So?" She asked, fiddling with her mother's ring.

"Kate, I never assumed…" He paused, looking right into her eyes, "That something like that would be the reason why you became a cop. It's stupid to not think about things like that, but I just didn't."

She shrugged her shoulders trying to make this situation more lighthearted and for it not to become awkward.

"I'm sorry, I wouldn't have asked so soon if I knew it was something so personal, but I'm glad you told me." Rick simply said, moving closer to Kate on the couch, his hand tightening on her leg. "I'm really sorry, Kate."

Even though everything was killing her on the inside, she had to smile at Rick. These past few weeks she had spent less timing thinking about her mothers case and more time thinking about Rick.

"Thanks." Kate leaned back against the couch, absolutely exhausted at reveling her deepest, darkest memory.

This was it, she had put it all out there. Her moms murder, her fathers drinking issues and that all of those things were the thing that pushed her into the academy.

Kate always hated the 'getting to know each other' part of dating. She was never any good at it because once she could trust the man, once she was ready to tell him about her past, they would always walk on egg shells around her and make it like she was the most delicate thing they had ever seen. They would be so afraid of breaking her that things would become distant until one day, there would be nothing there anymore.

"Alexis asked about you the other day." Rick smiled at Kate, his smile was so proud.

"She did?" Kate sat back up.

"She said that you were beautiful and asked if you were my girlfriend." Rick couldn't stop smiling.

"What did you say?" Kate asked, her heart pounding.

"I told her that yes, Kate is very beautiful and that we had been on a few dates but I hadn't asked you yet," Rick laughed and shook his head, "then she told me that you probably would say no."

Kate laughed too.

"Well?" He asked.

"What?" Kate asked, acting the fool.

"If I asked you to be my girlfriend, to make this official, would you say yes? Because my ten-year old thinks you wouldn't and if I asked and you and you said no, well Kate, it would wound me something fierce."

Kate reached over to Rick and kissed him on the cheek before whispering in his ear, "Yes."

But before Rick could ask her officially, she kissed him again. Tugging at his shirt and he fell down on top of her. Her head was swirling with excitement and nerves from what was happening. She was officially dating Richard Castle. He was her boyfriend and she was his girlfriend. They broke apart for air and Kate smiled up at Rick, cupping his face with her hands.

"After everything I just told you, you want this to be official?" Kate asked, not wanting to ruin the moment but she felt like she had to ask.

"Kate, that's just a part of who you are. It's something horrible that happened in your life, that you have to live with everyday, and one day I hope that I can help ease the burden of it all and maybe it wont seem so hard." Rick leaned and kissed her on the forehead. "I mean it Kate, I want to be there for you." He eased his body weight down and cuddled in next to her. Kate pulled his shirt tight in her clenched fists and buried her face in his chest so he couldn't see that she was trying to fight back the tears.

Richard Castle was perfect.

-x-

A strange ringing was coming from across the room that woke Kate, or was it above her? She couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from so she tried to move, get up and find it, but there was dead weight across her stomach.

"Rick." She said, basically moaning it and not bothering to open her eyes.

"The way you say my name," Rick lifted his head and kissed her on her nose, "is so sexy."

She felt the weight on her stomach lighten and he pulled his phone out of his back pocket.

"I set an alarm for five so if we fell asleep, I could wake up and get back to the loft to take Alexis to school." His body weight moved onto hers and his hand moved up her side, "Kate?" He asked tightening his grip.

"Mmm." Was all Kate could manage, her eyelids were heavy again.

"I have to go." Rick said, and Kate could tell he was smiling by his tone.

"Nooo." Kate clenched her fists again, holding onto his shirt.

"I'm sorry." He moved her hands away and got up.

She didn't bother fighting it, she didn't realize how tired she was.

When he scooped her up, her eyes flung open, "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Putting you in your bed, honestly Kate, that couch isn't the best for sleeping on." Rick laughed.

"I could have walked." She protested, knowing full right that she would have happily stayed on the couch and not bothered going to her bed.

"Too late." Rick said as she felt her head hit the pillow and she immediately regretted all the nights she spent on the couch.

"Dinner at the loft tonight?" Rick asked, moving her hair from her face.

"You sure?" Kate opened her eyes and looked at Rick.

"Would I ask you if I wasn't?" He smiled, "So I'll see you tonight, we get back from Alexis' violin lesson around four-thirty so anytime after that."

Kate nodded, "What do you want me to bring?" She asked.

"Just yourself," Rick kissed her on the lips gently, "Now, go back to sleep."

"See you tonight." Kate said, lifting her head and kissing him again.

"I can't wait." Rick smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note: Sorry this is such a tiny chapter, I cracked my wrist bone against a concrete wall and it's mega painful to type but I wanted to give you something this week. So my apologies it's so short, next one will be longer. <strong>

**So for Uni, I'm done for the year. Yay! Hope you're all having an amazing week.**

**H .x.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight.

Kate stood outside Rick's door for a few minutes trying to calm down her nerves. She had been to the loft before but this time it was different. She was officially invited over to properly sit down and have a meal with Rick and his family. This was serious.

She knocked quietly, and within seconds the door flew open. Alexis stood there smiling, her massive blue eyes staring right at Kate.

"Kate!" She squealed, running towards her and hugging her tightly.

Kate really wasn't expecting this, the last time she saw Alexis the girl was coming down from a sugar high/all night sleepover and barely spoke a word. Now she was attached to Kate, not wanting to let go.

"Alexis. Hi." Kate said, hugging the girl back.

Kate looked up and saw Rick coming out of his office, he was smiling and shaking his head. He mouthed the word 'sorry' to Kate before pulling Alexis away from her gently.

"Alexis sweetie, we talked about this. You said you were going to wave hello." Rick laughed, and Kate felt her insides untangle.

"I know." Alexis stuck out her bottom lip.

"It's ok." Kate smiled, closing the door.

Within a second Alexis was off, laughing all the way up the stairs.

"I am sorry." Rick said, leaning over and kissing Kate on the cheek.

"You said you were going to wave hello?" Kate repeated what Rick said.

"She has been excited about you coming and when I told her that you said yes to being my girlfriend, she asked how she would greet you and I told her that she could wave but I guess that went out the window." Rick laughed, putting his arms around Kate's middle.

Kate's mind was racing a million miles a minute. Rick had told Alexis they were official, she had asked how to greet her? She hugged her.

"Hey, I'm sorry." Rick said, when Kate didn't reply.

"No, it's fine. I didn't mind it." Kate smiled up to Rick.

She didn't one bit. Alexis hugging her wasn't scary like she thought it would be. Rick having a child wasn't as daunting as she thought it was going to be. She loved kids, one day she would want her own, but her life wasn't as smoothed out as she wanted for bringing children into. But then there was Alexis, basically barging into her life and she didn't mind.

"Really?" Rick asked, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Yeah."

Rick lifted Kate's head with his hand and kissed her on the lips. She felt every insecurity melt away with the touch of his lips against hers.

"Kate!" She heard Alexis yell and they broke apart before the child saw anything.

"Yeah?" Kate asked, as Alexis ran down the stairs carrying a large book.

"Do you like animals?" Alexis asked, holding the book out so Kate could see.

"Yeah I do." Kate smiled.

"Want to look at this book with me?" Alexis asked, looking from Kate to Rick so see if her Dad would stop her.

Rick looked at Kate, she knew he was ready to step in with an excuse to get her out of it but Kate simply nodded and walked to Alexis.

Alexis was talking about pandas and how they were her favorite when Kate looked up to see Rick leaning against the wall, watching them. He was smiling.

They caught eyes and Kate realized how much Rick was giving to her at that moment. He had opened his home to her, let his kid warm to her, he was in it for the long haul and she knew at that moment, she wanted it too.

It was absurd, they had just gone official and she was already feeling this way. She was already sitting on the couch with his daughter discussing the merits of pandas.

"Dinner. Alexis, go wash your hands." Rick said quietly and Alexis closed the book without a word and got up.

Rick walked to Kate and pulled her hands up to him, gently pulling her from the couch.

"Thank you." Rick said, moving her hair from the side of her face and kissing her neck.

-x-

Kate was waiting on the couch for Rick to come back after putting Alexis to bed when she went over the night she'd just had. It was like she was watching someone else have a normal family night in. This wasn't Kate Beckett at all and she enjoyed that, she enjoyed that this was new to her, that this feeling wasn't going to go away and she could have more of it. At dinner, Alexis talked constantly about school, violin and soccer. Kate asked her questions about each, fully engaging herself. Rick sat quietly eating his pasta, watching the two of them talk.

They had watched a Looney Tunes movie and Alexis sat in-between Rick and Kate. Rick had his arm across the back of the sofa and occasionally would squeeze Kate's shoulder. When Alexis' head starting to get heavier, Rick announced it was bed time.

"Nooo." Alexis said, she wasn't whining at all and Kate could tell she just wanted to stay awake for longer.

"Say goodnight to Kate." Rick told Alexis before picking up the blanket that she had been snuggling during the movie.

"Goodnight Kate." Alexis hugged her, this time with less enthusiasm but Kate still appreciated it, "Will you be here when I wake up?" Alexis asked, her innocence was sweet.

The question stumped Kate. Rick had said nothing about her staying the night, this was all new and she didn't want to overstep the boundaries just yet.

"We don't know yet sweetie, come on, it's bedtime." Rick smiled at Alexis.

When she didn't move from Kate's side, Rick leaned down and picked her up. Kate watched him walk up the stairs, carrying his ten-year old daughter, who with the movement of Rick carrying her, was fighting to stay awake for longer.

-x-

"She usually never takes that long to get settled," Rick said, sitting down close to Kate on the couch, "It was Kate this and Kate that. Think I might have some competition." Rick stretched him arm out along the top of the couch.

This entire evening had pushed Kate into feeling emotions she hadn't been able to feel in along time. She moved closer to Rick, swinging her legs over his and resting in the crook of his arm.

"Thank you." Kate said quietly, not looking at Rick, afraid it might start the tears.

"What for?" Rick asked, moving his arm down from the couch and around Kate's shoulders, his other hand rested on her knee.

"Letting this happen. We've been on a few dates, I've told you things that would usually take me forever to tell someone else, we're official yeah, but tonight you let me into your life."

Rick kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you came tonight and seeing you with Alexis, I can't begin to describe how much that made me feel. I'm usually hesitant about opening her up to my relationships, because I'm afraid that she'll get attached and it wont work out. After Meredith left us, I promised I would never let someone leave us again." Rick's voice was controlled and strong.

"I don't know how she left her. Rick, she's perfect." Kate smiled.

She felt Rick's lips against her hair again and she closed her eyes.

"So are you." Rick whispered, his lips lingering.

-x-

The two of them cleaned up the dinner dishes. Rick had refused to let her help to start with, but she found a weak spot when he dropped the forks in the dishwasher and one slid under the railing. His inability to get the fork free was entertaining to watch but he gave in and let her get it.

"Smaller hands." She said, easily pulling the fork out.

He rolled his eyes and turned the tap on. They moved silently, Kate putting the dishes in the dishwasher carefully, Rick rinsing them and handing them to her. She was washing her hands when Rick came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. She dried her hands and turned to face him, wrapping her hands around his neck.

"Stay." Rick said, in-between kisses.

"I can't, I have work in the morning and I don't have anything here with me, and we don't want to push this." Kate was being sensible, even though she wanted to stay.

When the door swung open, Kate got a fright and Rick laughed.

"Oh the prodigal son is still awake." Martha smiled, removing her gloves and looking up. She obviously wasn't expecting to see Kate there because she looked surprised.

"I rung you earlier to ask if you were going to be here for dinner but there was no reply. Martha Rogers this is Kate Beckett." Rick let go of Kate and took her hand, walking them to where Martha stood.

"Kate Beckett, this is my mother, Martha Rogers."

Martha hugged Kate softly before holding each of her shoulders. "My goodness you're gorgeous," She said to Kate, examining her.

"Thank you." Kate blushed.

"Sorry that I missed your call Richard, was at an audition for a play." Martha looked to Rick, and shrugged her shoulders.

Rick nodded and smiled.

Martha let her hands fall back to her sides. "Well, I might excuse myself as I have lines to learn. Will you see you again soon Kate, I imagine. You kids have fun." She winked in their direction and made her way to the stairs.

"Please stay, even if it's just for my own sanity." Rick turned to Kate and frowned.

Kate had to laugh, "I've got nothing here."

"You can sneak out in the morning and I wont be offended." Rick raised an eyebrow at her.

"What about Alexis?" Kate asked.

"Well, we could all walk together in the morning. I'll take Alexis to school and you go home and get ready for work." Rick shrugged his shoulders.

"But she'll notice I'm in the same clothes, what if she says something to someone?" Kate was unsure.

"Kate, she wont notice. I'm sure I have a shirt that you could work something out for tomorrow. Please?" Rick asked.

"Fine." Kate sighed, giving into what she wanted.

-x-

Rick chucked her a shirt for bed and she hesitated. She wasn't entirely sure what was going to happen.

"There is a spare toothbrush under the counter." Rick smiled, pulling his shirt off and Kate had to walk into the bathroom so she didn't stare.

They had kissed before, steamy kissing sure, but she was brushing her teeth in his loft, wearing his shirt and about to climb into bed with him.

She stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching him get into bed.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked, looking up to Kate.

"Nothing." Kate said, without moving.

"You look like you're having this internal struggle about something?" Rick was smiling and watching her.

"This," Kate pointed to the bed, "What is this?"

"A bed, now I know you love your couch but normal people usually sleep in a bed." Rick laughed and Kate frowned.

"I'm serious." Kate crossed her arms, pulling the shirt Rick gave her higher up around her. She could tell Rick was trying not to look at her bare legs but he was failing.

"Come here." Rick tapped the bed and she gave in, walking around to the other side.

"What's the matter?" Rick asked, as she climbed under the covers, next to him.

"I feel like tonight we took a massive leap and now, here we are." Kate looked over to him and he smiled.

"We'll wait," He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "I would like to point out that I was going to suggest it as well and that I only wanted to cuddle." Rick said proudly.

"You didn't want to?" Kate didn't mean to sound hurt by his statement but that's the way her voice portrayed it.

"I want to, you have no idea," He put his head on his pillow and waited for Kate to lay down before scooping her closer to him. "But like you said, tonight was major and we need to take it one step at a time."

They were silent for a moment and then he leaned down and kissed her lips, it was passionate and Kate pulled at his shirt. He moved on top of her, running his hand down her thigh. When his hand slid under the shirt she was wearing and up her side, Kate broke away from him, her breath ragged.

"So much for waiting." Kate laughed and Rick moved from her.

He put his hands over his face, covering his smile. She moved closer to him, resting her head on his chest and he moved his hands down, around her, hugging her tightly.

"When you kiss me, I just can't stop." Rick's chest was heaving.

"No more kisses then, till we're ready." Kate laughed.

"I'll teach myself to stop, don't take it away." Rick's voice was playful and sweet.

"Deal." Kate said, as she planted a light kiss on his chest.

"Goodnight." Rick said, reaching up and flicking the light off.

"Night." Kate said quietly, closing her eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note: <strong>

**Hope you enjoy this one, another cute chapter to melt the heart strings.**

**Tell me if you like it or not.**

**H .x.**

**p.s NZ won the Rugby World Cup. Yay!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine.

When Rick's alarm went off, Kate tried to move but something was holding her still. Rick silenced the alarm in seconds and snuggled back into Kate.

"We need to get up." Kate said, her voice groggy.

"I pressed the snooze button, we have ten more minutes." Rick's voice was quiet and sleepy.

Kate struggled but managed to roll over and face him. His eyes were closed but flickered open when her hand brushed against his stubble.

"So much for ten more minutes." Rick smiled, pulling Kate closer.

"What's the time." Kate asked, leaving her hand rested on his face.

"A few minutes past six." Rick kissed Kate, a short good morning kiss, a first for them.

Kate nodded, closing her eyes.

"I like this."

"What?" Kate asked, opening her eyes again.

"Waking up next to you."

Kate shouldn't have been surprised by him anymore, he was a writer, words were his tools and he knew exactly how to use them.

She smiled up to him and then sat up, he groaned.

"Six minutes." He tried to pull her back to bed but she was quicker.

Kate rolled her eyes as she walked into the bathroom, pulling the shirt Rick had given her off and kicking the door closed with her foot. She knew he saw everything and that it would keep his mind occupied for a few minutes so she could change.

-x-

When Beckett came out of the bathroom, everything was quiet. She walked into the lounge and looked over to the kitchen. There stood Rick Castle, her boyfriend, making breakfast for his child and the thought of it all, didn't make Kate want to run at all.

"Morning, Kate." Alexis smiled, pulling her book bag along the ground.

"Good morning, Alexis." Kate said, pulling her hair into a ponytail. She could barely believe it herself, how much it had grown since she first met Rick, all those months ago at Long Beach.

"Alexis, how many times have I told you before about dragging your book bag across the floor. Please don't." Rick didn't even have to look to see that Alexis had indeed dragged her book bag across the floor, his tone was assertive and Kate was a tad overwhelmed by the change in him from ten minutes ago.

"Sorry." Alexis said, placing her bag on the table carefully before climbing onto a bar-stool.

"Here you go, sweetie." Rick handed her a bowl full of fruit and smiled at her. His playfulness was back.

"Kate, what would you like?" Rick asked, finally setting eyes on Kate.

"Just coffee." Kate smiled, but Rick was shaking his head at her answer.

"You have to eat breakfast before a big day, isn't that right Alexis?" Rick looked from Kate to Alexis.

"Always." Alexis nodded, turning around to look at Kate, missing Rick raising an eyebrow at her.

"Fine, I'll take what she's got." Kate politely smiled, knowing she would get Rick back later for it.

"Deal." He said, handing her a coffee when she sat down.

-x-

She was trying to remember if getting ready for school was the same in her house when she was growing up, as it was at the Castle's. Alexis was calm, packing her things in her bag and reminding Rick that he needed to bring her fencing gear when he picked her up from school. Rick was putting the dishes away and sending an email at the same time. Kate remembered her mornings being busy and rushed. Her mother would always be running around the house, searching for papers that she needed for court. Her father would be trying to make Kate's lunch at the same time as fixing the broken pipe under the sink. Were they always rushed? She couldn't remember.

"Kate?" Rick was standing at the door with Alexis.

"Sorry." Kate shook her head and walked towards them.

Rick raised at eyebrow at her, questioning what she was just thinking about but Kate smiled, letting the thoughts go as she was pulled out of the door by Alexis.

Alexis took hold of her hand as soon as they stepped from the apartment steps. Kate's heart jumped a beat at the little girls gesture towards her and she turned to face Rick who was smiling. He shrugged his shoulders, taking Kate's other spare hand in his.

"You are like the shiny new toy. Everyone can't get enough of." He whispered in her ear as they started to walk.

Kate Beckett had walked into Castle's apartment block alone and managed to walk out holding the hands of a man and a child. This was something she wasn't used too.

"Kate, I have this recital coming up for violin, it's Thursday next week" Alexis stopped, trying to choose her next words, "If you aren't busy and if you want to, would you come?" Alexis looked up to Kate, the sun shining on the girls red hair.

"If I don't have to work, of course I'll be there." Kate smiled, taken back by the enormous gesture from Alexis.

She thought this would take time, getting to know the child would be effort, but she was wrong. In one night she had managed to become friends with Alexis.

Rick was smiling, he didn't say anything but Kate could tell he was happy.

"This is me." Kate stood on the corner, pointing down the street. Rick and Alexis would continue straight towards her school.

"See you later, Kate." Alexis let go of her hand, and hugged her.

"Have a great day at school." Kate said, hugging the girl back.

"Talk to you later," Rick leaned over Alexis, who was still hugging Kate and kissed her, "Come on baby bird." Rick said, picking up Alexis' hand and taking a step back from Kate.

"Bye." Alexis waved to Kate.

Kate crossed the empty road and started to make her way to her apartment when she looked over her shoulder. Rick and Alexis were walking hand in hand down the street. He was laughing and something she was saying. Kate felt this wave of emotion flood over her. This was insane, she'd met Alexis three times and she already wanted to ditch work and go on with them.

-x-

The next week went by in a blur. Kate, Ryan and Esposito were tracking down a serial killer that hadn't killed in twenty years and suddenly he killed again, completely random and out of the blue.

Rick and Kate had played phone tag all week, leaving each other messages and texting when they had a chance. She missed him, she even missed Alexis but she had to concentrate to this case.

She was lying in bed, waiting for her alarm to buzz when her phone rang first.

"Beckett." She answered, not bothering to look at the caller ID, she thought it would be Ryan or Esposito.

"I love it when you answer the phone like that." Rick's voice was rugged, he'd clearly just woken up and Kate was yet to go to sleep.

Kate smiled.

"Haven't talked to you in forever." Rick spoke again.

"I know, this case is crazy at the moment." Beckett rolled onto her stomach.

"Any leads?" Rick asked.

"Nope." She answered, sounding just as defeated as she felt.

"Hang on a sec," Rick said, as she heard him open a zip and a clunking noise. She could hear Alexis in the background talking to Rick and then the door closing. "Sorry, Alexis is off to school with mother. I was wondering about tonight?" Rick's voice was steady.

Kate tried to think if they had made plans. Her mind working quickly to try and remember.

"Violin recital." She said out loud, smacking her forehead with her hand for not remembering.

"Yeah, if you're busy, it's OK. Alexis has asked me every night if you'll come but I told her you have this big case."

"I'm sorry," Kate said, feeling absolutely horrible that she had forgot, "I'll see if I can sneak away for a few hours, I'm sure Ryan and Espo will cover for me."

"Really?" Rick asked, his voice sounding more cheerful.

"Yeah, I want to come Rick, I really do but when I have cases like this, my mind is just so full, I forget these things." Kate knew it was a lame excuse but it was true.

"It's fine Kate, I'm glad you're making an effort to come though, it means a lot to her and to me. She hasn't stopped talking about you all week." Rick said, she could tell he was smiling.

Kate's phone buzzed again, Esposito was calling her.

"Esposito's on the other line, message me the details OK? I'll See you tonight." Kate hung up before Rick could answer her, already pulling on a pair of jeans.

-x-

Kate was running late, she was four blocks from Alexis' school, running as fast as she could.

"Sorry." She finally managed to say, completely out of breath by the time she met Rick, leaning against the school wall.

"She's not on till the next half, you're right on time." Rick smiled, he was touched by her effort.

"Oh thank God." Kate put her hands on her knees, exhaling.

"Out of shape there, Detective?" Rick laughed, putting his hand on her back as she tried to get her breath back.

"I ran from the 12th," She said, standing up, feeling dizzy, "Traffic is a nightmare so I thought it would be quicker running."

"You ran all that way?" Rick was astounded now.

"Couldn't miss it." Kate smiled, she'd just flat out ran twenty blocks.

"Kate," Rick said, pulling her into him. She just leaned against him, not hugging him but using him to keep her standing. His arms were holding her tightly, "That's basically a marathon." He kissed the top of her head.

They walked into the hall and Rick quickly spotted Martha, two empty chairs sat next to her. Rick sat in the middle, his hand resting in Kate's knee.

"Hello there." Martha said, leaning over.

"Hi, Martha." Kate smiled at her. She was wearing the most amazing red skirt and jacket, teamed with rows of pearls around her neck. Kate looked around, she was by far the most casually dressed in the hall and suddenly Kate felt restless about the people surrounding her. She could see and count the double 'c' logo on both hands, every woman's shoe soles were painted a fire engine red not to mention the men with their diamond cufflinks.

Rick must have felt her tense because he squeezed her knee gently.

"You could have told me it was a fancy affair, I would have changed." Kate said whispering to Rick.

"It's not fancy, these people just try and out do each other, don't worry about it." Se felt Rick's shoulder shrug next to hers.

"I have jeans on, Rick." She scowled at him.

"And you are the best looking woman in here by far, you look great." He smiled at her, the two of them completely ignoring the poor boy on stage, attempting to play the flute.

When Alexis walked on stage, she looked so tiny. Yes, she was small for her age but Kate felt like she needed to be up there and protecting her.

She played beautifully, Kate was completely enchanted by her. She was by far the most talented they had seen tonight, she couldn't tell if she was being biased or not either.

"Wow." Kate breathed out as Alexis bowed and walked from the stage. She looked up to Rick, his hand was placed back on her leg after clapping for Alexis. Kate wrapped her fingers around his hand, still looking at him in amazement at what his daughter had just did.

"I know." Rick smiled, kissing her on the cheek.

They waited for Alexis on the steps outside, after the concert had finished.

"Dad!" She yelled, leaping for Rick.

"You were amazing, sweetheart." Rick kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly.

"Well done, Kiddo." Martha said, squeezing Alexis' free hand.

"Kate!" Alexis yelled again, clambering off Rick to hug Kate.

"Alexis, that was beautiful, I loved it." Kate hugged Alexis back.

"I'm so glad you came," Alexis' eyes were closed as she hugged Kate. She saw Martha and Rick share a knowing glance at each other, "Will you come out with us for ice-cream?"

Kate glanced at her watch, she still had an hour left and could easily taxi back to the 12th.

"I will but I can't stay for long," Kate smiled, "And, only if it's OK with your Dad and Martha." Kate looked up to the two of them, not wanting to barge in on family time.

"Of course, Dear." Martha smiled.

Alexis grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her down the street. She heard Martha chuckle and Rick moan because he was left behind.

They sat around the table watching Alexis eat her massive ice-cream sundae, Rick had let her choose whatever she wanted and it was clear that that wasn't a good idea. Rick was helping eat all ten scoops of ice-cream and sprinkles to try and stop Alexis from eating so much that she would feel sick.

"Dad, get your own." Alexis was frowning.

"But I'm teaching you how to share." Rick smiled, not letting her in on his plan.

"The kid that plays saxophone in your class Alexis, do you know what song that is?" Martha asked, leaning forward.

"No." Alexis shrugged her shoulders.

"It's a song called Reminiscing by the Little River Band, it's from the 70s. I used to listen to that song on vinyl and dance around to it, takes me right back. Isn't it funny how a song can just trigger something in you? A vivid memory from your past." Martha was smiling, looking up to the ceiling, clearly still thinking about the song.

That's when it hit Kate.

"Kate?" Rick asked, after she had gone completely silent and her eyes glazed over.

Kate snapped out of her stare and looked to Rick, his face was worried.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything offensive." Martha's voice was apologetic and it was clear that Rick had mentioned something to her about Kate's mother.

Kate suddenly realized what it looked like, suddenly going quiet all of a sudden at the talk of a memory from your past.

"No, it was just something you said, 'Isn't it funny how a song can trigger something in you?' Well I think you might have just cracked open my case." Kate looked to Martha, whose face was just as shocked as Rick's.

"What?" Rick asked.

Kate looked at Alexis and back to Rick and shook her head, she wasn't discussing a serial killer with a ten year-old siting at the table.

"I have to go back to the Precinct. Sorry, Alexis." Kate stood up from the table, hugging Alexis' shoulders.

"Thanks for coming." Alexis smiled to Kate, completely unaware of what was happening.

Rick stood, still looking confused but kissed Kate anyway.

"I'll ring you," Kate smiled at him and turned to Martha, "Thanks."

-x-

It was nine on Friday morning before Kate left the precinct. She'd caught the killer and her, Ryan and Esposito had the weekend off.

_K: 'Bad guy behind bars. What you doing?'_

_R: 'Just dropped A at school. Breakfast at Remy's?' _

Kate wanted to see him, spend the day together but she was shattered.

_K: 'Don't want to fall asleep in pancakes :( tired.'_

_R: 'Loft? I'll let you sleep.'_

Kate stared at her phone and pondered what she should do. She could go home to an empty apartment or she could go to the loft and spend the day there with him.

_K: 'Meet you there.'_

She couldn't help herself, she wanted to see him and it couldn't wait.

"Hey." She said to Rick, walking up the stairs and nudging his shoulder. He was waiting for her outside his building.

"Hi." He smiled, taking her hand.

"Tell me everything." Rick said, as soon as they walked into the loft.

"What Martha said, 'Isn't it funny how a song can trigger something in you?' Well, it got me thinking about the case. The killer hasn't been active in twenty years and the victim was found in an old theater in TriBecA, so I went back to the crime scene and found what play was on. It was called 'A Thousand Days', I looked at the old cast and crew and found out that the first victim of this serial killer was also in the first adaptation of the play."

Rick's eyes grew wide with Kate's every word.

"I went over all the files and sound a stage manager by the name of William Lanchester, he was there on the first night of the first play and his name was on the guest list for last nights play. We went to his house this morning and found paper clippings from all the murders. His trigger was the play, seeing the actress again after already 'killing' her before."

"Wow." Rick was a murder mystery writer and he was still fascinated by this.

"All thanks to your mother." Kate smiled at him.

"Well make sure when you tell her, don't make it out like she gets a key to the city or something or she'll never stop talking about it." Rick rolled his eyes.

"Bet that you're just jealous that you didn't crack it." Kate laughed, wrapping her hand's around his neck.

Rick stuck out his bottom lip and pouted.

"Alexis wasn't mad that I left?" She asked, as Rick put his hand's around her middle.

"No, she was thrilled you even made it, so was I." Rick kissed her, it was passionate and heated. She pulled Rick closer when she felt his tongue touch hers. His hands traveled down, cupping her butt and lifting her up. Kate wrapped her legs around Rick, not breaking from the kiss once.

He walked them both through his office and into his room, falling down on top of her on the bed. Kate ran her hands through his hair and Rick broke from the kiss, he kissed her neck, slightly sucking her skin. She let out her breath and he kissed her lips again, not giving her a second chance to stop him.

When they finally broke apart for air, Rick was smiling, "Bed time." He said, moving off her.

Kate tried to catch her breath before moving, Rick threw her a shirt and smiled before walking into his office. Kate pulled her jeans down and pulled off her blouse before chucking on his shirt.

"You're not coming?" Kate stood in the doorway of his bedroom and office.

He was siting at his desk, opening his laptop.

"I had a full nights sleep and you need undisturbed sleep. Now go." He rose, walking to her, his hands finding her hips. He gently pushed her backwards, towards the bed.

"But…" Kate began, wanting to protest.

"Not buts, I'll wake you up for a late lunch." He kissed her forehead before leaving her, closing the door behind him.

Kate climbed into his bed, feeling strange. Maybe she should have gone home, sleeping in his bed was still a new thing, taking a nap in it was something else. She was debating it when she felt her eyes close.

-x-

Kate woke and stretched out. Rick's bed was massive and so unbelievably comfortable.

She dragged herself from the bed when she realized it was lunchtime. She opened the office door quietly, Rick sat at his laptop typing. She walked up behind him, silently. She leaned in and kissed his neck and he didn't even jump.

"Thought you got me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, without stopping his fingers furiously typing.

Kate frowned, leaning against his desk.

"I know every sound in this loft, playing hide and seek with a three year-old turned into scary moments sometimes so my senses had to adjust, so I could actually find Alexis," He smiled, closing his laptop and turned his chair towards her. "Four hours is the longest she went. I found her asleep in the cupboard in the kitchen, almost gave myself a heart attack." Rick took Kate's hand and pulled her to him, she sat on his lap, each one of her feet, swinging in the free air.

"Tell me more." She said, kissing his cheek.

"More what?" He asked, brushing the hair from her face and resting his hands, tightly around her waist.

"Stories about you and Alexis."

Rick smiled a smile she had never seen before.

"There was this one time we were at the aquarium and I was sure that a seal had eaten her…."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone, hope you all enjoy this chapter. It was really fun to write, hope it's just as fun to read.**

**A few of you asked why they would wait before sleeping together and honestly, I think if I was in Kate's situation or Rick's, I would too. Him having Alexis brings this completely different side to the story. They are clearly going to but not just yet, they are trying to find their feet first. Give me a few more chapters and it'll happen, I promise.**

**Again, thanks to all the subscribers, reviewers (I love you) and twitter birds (You make me flail.)**

**Hope you all are having a blessed week.**

**Love H. x.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten.

"Hey." Rick said as Kate walked out of the precinct. It had been a long week and Kate was excited to be leaving, she'd closed another case with the help of Ryan and Esposito and wasn't on call for the next twenty-four hours.

"Hi." She said, almost collapsing into Rick.

Two officers walked past, giving the couple a raised eyebrow and a smile but Kate didn't care, she was tired and just wanted to be with Rick.

"Home?" He asked, hugging her tightly.

"No." Kate said, not moving from him.

"What do you want to do? I've got a few hours before I have to get Alexis."

"Anything." Kate replied.

She felt Rick laugh and he took her hand.

"Come on then."

Kate complied, she didn't ask questions, didn't demand he tell her where he was taking her, she just went along with it.

"Sit." He said, pointing to a patch of grass in the shade of a big tree. Kate did what he said, still not bothering to ask when he darted off in another direction.

Rick came back a moment later with a bag.

"You look exhausted, Kate." He said, siting down next to her.

"I'm fine." She smiled, she was tired but there was more on her mind. This case had been a tough one, it had been a child who was strangled and beaten. She didn't want to tell Rick about it, it would upset him.

"Tough case?" He asked, handing her a bagel. Even in the short time he'd known her, he could already pick her emotions.

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?" He asked, putting a punnet of fresh fruit in front of Kate. How long had he been gone when he went for food? She could only remember it being a few minutes.

"Not really, it was a child." Kate wouldn't delve into anything further, Rick was silent.

"I'm sorry." He said finally, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

"So am I." She smiled at him. Usually after a case like this, a case that drained the emotion straight from her, she would go home and crawl into a bawl. She would read one of Rick's books until she finally fell asleep on the couch. But this was different, she willingly chose to spend time with Rick, didn't crawl into a bawl and instead of reading one of his books, he was siting next to him in the flesh.

They ate in silence, watching people walk through the park. So many moms with strollers were walking today, businessmen in suits running to make it back to work on time and couples walking hand in hand, smiling at each other and laughing.

"I can ring Mother and get her to pick up Alexis and look after her, we could hang at yours tonight?" Rick asked, wondering if she would push him away.

"No, you pick up Alexis. I have a bunch of stuff to do at home."

"But you've got tomorrow off?" Rick asked, putting his rubbish in the bag.

"Yeah." Kate felt bad, she had been absent for the past week, spending all of her time at the precinct and Rick had been so good about it, but now, it was being tested.

"Do you want to stay tonight?" He asked.

Kate didn't know what to say. She wanted to, all week she had been thinking about spending the night at Rick's, getting to sleep next to him and wake up with him but now there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach and she couldn't shake it.

"I'm not going to be much fun tonight, maybe tomorrow night?" She asked, but she could tell that he was upset.

He nodded and smiled, trying not to let it show how disappointed he was.

"Sorry." Kate said quietly. Every year or so a case would affect her more than she could handle, it would push her down and not let her breathe. This was that case, the one she could see every time she closed her eyes, every time she felt happy it would destroy the feeling within seconds. She was pretty sure this case was doing the same to Ryan, he had barely spoken a word as they gathered the evidence for the district attorney. Esposito finished his paperwork in silence too, usually the team would head out after solving a case for a quiet beer, but today they all nodded to each other and went their separate ways.

"Kate, I'm not a cop ok, I don't understand certain ways of dealing with things or what's the appropriate feelings, but I want you to know that I think it's normal to feel this after a case like that, it's not bad to be affected by it, it shows how much you care and how much you give." Rick smiled at Kate, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her in.

She leaned against him, his smell calming her down.

"Where did I even find you?" She laughed, closing her eyes.

"You seduced me in a dirty pub, remember?" He laughed and Kate pulled away from him, scrunching her face up and frowning.

"You seduced me." She smiled but he shook his head.

"You'd look up to me with those big eyes, batt your lashes and say 'dare' before looking from my eyes, to my lips and back again. That, that drives me nuts, made me almost leap over the table to you."

Kate rolled her eyes.

"You were the one feeding me tequila like it was water and making me dance with you."

"You never said you didn't enjoy it." And before Kate could respond, he kissed her, cupping her face with his hands. Their tongues hungry from the time spent apart.

"Rick…" She pushed him back from her, "We're in the park."

"So?" he asked, pulling her back into him.

-x-

"Yo, Beckett." Esposito called out to Kate as she walked across the precinct.

"Yeah." Kate called out.

"Your boys here." Esposito pointed to the captains office, smiling.

Kate turned her head, there stood Rick inside Captain Montgomery's office, siting on his couch laughing at something the captain had said. Roy Montgomery was leaning against his desk, acting like he was chatting with an old friend.

Kate knocked on the door quietly.

"Detective Beckett, come in" Montgomery said, ushering her in.

Kate made eyes at Rick and scowled, he looked petrified.

"You didn't tell me that you two are an item now?" Montgomery asked, smiling at Kate.

"Uh, I'm sorry Sir." Kate replied, confused as ever.

"Rick plays poker with the Mayor and high court judges every week, asked me if I wanted to join them."

"Excellent." Kate smiled, looking from Rick to the Captain and back again.

"Only if it's ok with you though Detective, don't want to be overcrowding you in your personal time."

"No, it's fine, Can I take him now?" Kate smiled.

The Captain laughed and nodded.

"What the hell?" Kate asked, closing the break room door.

"What?" Rick asked, his boyish charm coming out.

"You invited my boss to a poker game? Seriously, Rick?" Kate threw her hands up.

"Well, I came in to ask you something and he was there and he noticed me so we got talking and then it lead to that, I didn't mean to intrude or offend you."

"Rick, I have a serious job ok, this is my first year as detective. I need to make a good impression." Kate knew she was being bratty.

"I know." Rick said, sounding wounded at the serious job remark.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay over and that I got called in. I'm just as annoyed as you, but coming here wont help anything." Kate was exhausted, The past week she had been run off her feet, the call free twenty-four hours had lasted only a few hours and she was dragged back to help on a big case, she didn't have a choice.

Rick had always been good about her job, good about the crazy hours and the aftermath of a case but she could feel him getting edgy about it, she could feel him wanting more of her and she didn't have it all to give yet.

"So you can't just walk in here and charm everyone, this is a police precinct." Kate was being harsh.

"I know." Rick said again.

Kate lowered her voice, people were looking.

"Do you? Because this isn't a joke like everything else."

Kate knew she had hit a nerve, knew she went too far when Rick looked at her.

"I didn't mean…"

"It's fine. This is what I came to give you." He placed a piece of paper on the table they stood next to and walked away. He didn't say goodbye or kiss her once.

She knew that she had upset him.

Kate looked down at the piece of paper he had put on the table, he hadn't even handed it to her.

_Marlowe Elementary warmly invites you to our inspirational day._

_Alexis Castle is asking you to be her 'Most Inspirational Person' at this years event. _

_We hope that you will come share the day with us._

"Shit." Kate said quietly, wanting to bang her head against something hard.

-x-

The rest of the day Kate thought about Rick and the fight. They had managed to catch their killer trying to flee the country at JFK and was filling out the paper work for the case.

Ryan and Esposito had gone home hours ago, they tried to convince Kate to go out with them for a beer but she declined.

She'd spent the last hour staring at her phone, hoping it would ring. She'd rung him twice and he hadn't picked up.

The thought of her going home to an empty apartment was horrible, even more knowing that Rick was upset at her. Their first big fight had drained her and she hated it.

When she walked out of the precinct in the light rain, she didn't walk towards her apartment. It was late and she was going to go to Rick's and make him forgive her. She knew the moment she could see Rick's loft she should have hailed a cab or not gone at all. She was soaked, upset and terrified, three things that Kate Beckett did not handle well.

"Good Evening." The doorman smiled, opening the door for Kate. She managed a smile, letting herself past him.

The elevator ride was horrible, her stomach churning in knots at every floor she passed. Finally the doors opened, and Kate stepped out. She knocked quietly on the door, hoping that no one was home so she could run back and forget this happened.

The door slowly opened to a confused Rick, he stood wearing pajama bottoms and no shirt.

"I'm sorry." Kate blurted out.

Rick looked at his watch and back to Kate.

"It's half past eleven Kate, what are you doing here?" Rick's tone wasn't angry but it wasn't forgiving either.

"You didn't answer my calls and I've thought about it all day. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that my job is crazy and I let the crazy affect me. I know that you have been amazing these past few months and you're trying to understand it and I haven't given you enough credit for it. No one has ever been so understanding and today I almost threw it all away. Rick, I'm sorry that I pushed you away and I made a fight about you being at the precinct, It's just that's another side of my life compared to this." Kate pointed at Rick and then back to herself, "When I come around here, it's different, it's light and fun and I forget about murder and about death, I just didn't want them to collide incase I lost that. I'm really sorry." Kate took a deep breath.

Rick looked at Kate for a moment before speaking, his tone changed when he spoke.

"I want to know every side of you Kate, you talk about your work and I understand why you want it to be separate, but it can't be forever. I thought I would take the first step in making them combined and I'm sorry that I rushed it, it should have been your decision. I understand that it's your life but I want to be in it, I don't want to sit around here all day wondering if i've lost you or walking down the street wondering if the last time I got to see you was during an argument. I'm sorry I walked away and didn't answer your calls, I was mad and it wasn't warranted at all, you had every right to be angry at me." Rick shrugged his shoulders, holding his hand out.

"It was warranted though, I was horrible." Kate took Rick's hand and squeezed it.

"Why are you soaking wet?" Rick asked, looking at Kate's clothes, changing the subject.

"I walked here from work."

"Why didn't you get a cab?" Rick was worried again, he closed the door behind her and pulled her towards his room.

"I wasn't thinking, I was too busy wondering if you'd ever talk to me again."

Rick spun around, his expression had changed to hurt.

"I'm sorry." He said, pulling her hips closer to him. She didn't have enough time to respond before he kissed her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he gently picked her up, carrying her into his room. The kiss was heated, passionate and both of them not wanting to back down. As they fell back on the bed Rick deepened the kiss, forcing Kate to arch her back into him.

Rick unbuttoned her blouse without stopping the kiss, moving his hand under her to move the blouse away.

"Kate." Rick's voice rugged.

"What?" She asked, gasping for air.

"Take your pants off." He smiled, kissing her again.

Kate pulled open her belt buckle and undid the button and zip.

Rick moved off her, puling her pants right off. She sat up in the bed, confused. He threw her one of his shirts and winked.

"I'll put these in the dryer." Rick smirked, leaving the room.

Kate fell back against the pillows, closing her eyes and smiling.

"Did you miss me?" Rick asked, getting under the covers next to Kate, kissing her neck.

She nodded in the dark.

"Well, we survived our first fight, must be a good sign." Rick smiled, playing with Kate's hair.

"Seems so stupid now. I never understood why my mother said 'Never go to bed angry' but now, I get it." Kate said, closing her eyes at Rick's touch.

"Sounds like she was a very smart woman." Rick's voice was pure and caring.

"She really was."

"Come away with me, I'm going to the Hamptons next week for a few days to try and finish a few chapters for the new Derrick Storm. Alexis is on school camp all week and I think that I'll go insane without you."

"I've got work." Kate sighed, wishing she could just drop everything and go with him.

"Do you have holiday days? You must have a few." Rick pleaded.

Kate thought for a moment, she had been racking up holidays since she started at the 12th. The only time she had taken any was when Lanie treated her to a trip away, a trip where she met Rick.

"I have a few actually, I'll have to talk to Montgomery about taking them though, I might be needed on a case."

"And if he says yes, then you'll come?" Rick was acting like a child at Christmas.

Kate rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Seriously?" He smiled, leaning closer to her.

"Yes." She laughed, rolling her eyes.

He kissed her again, this time a happy kiss, a kiss that showed her just how excited he was that she could potently be joining him for a week holiday in the Hamptons.

"Wait, aren't you going to finish some chapters? Wont I be distracting you?" She asked, pushing Rick away from her and frowning.

"You are the best kind of distraction there is." He kissed her again.

"Seriously though, wont I be annoying?"

"Kate, you could never be annoying," Rick moved down next to her, his face looking at hers, "I want you there." He kissed her on the lips and then on the forehead.

* * *

><p>Author Note: Hello All, hope you're having an awesome week. Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter, I've been super busy so I haven't had time to reply yet but I will get around to it.<p>

Make sure you tell me what you think of this one too.

H. x.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Kate drove down the winding driveway to Rick's beach house. It was the off season so there wasn't many people around. Captain Montgomery had given her the week off, very willingly actually. It was more like he was insisting that she take more time off.

Rick had driven out a few nights earlier to get a head start on writing and Kate had spent some much needed time cleaning her apartment and actually unpacking some boxes that had sat in the corner since her move months ago.

Rick stood against the front door smiling, he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, unshaven and his hair scruffy.

"Hey, Beautiful." He said, walking over to Kate as she got out of her car.

"Hey, yourself." Kate met Rick in the middle of the driveway, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. She hadn't realized that the past few days, she had really missed him, that she was beginning to rely on having him around.

"I've missed you." He said, kissing the top of her head and hugging her tightly.

"Same." She said quietly, burying her face in his chest. She had missed his smell and the familiarity of it.

"Want to come inside?" He asked but Kate didn't move.

"One more minute." She finally replied, not ready to leave Rick's grasp yet.

-x-

"I can't get over this place, why were you staying in the hotel at Long Beach when you have this place?" Kate asked, sitting on the sofa outside, overlooking the beach.

"I was getting the kitchen remodeled, good timing though. Sometimes we stay there for a week in the holidays so Alexis can do the holiday club." Rick smiled at Kate and sat down next to her, handing her a glass of wine.

Kate hadn't been this relaxed in so long, she nudged into Rick and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Tell me something." He said, putting his glass on the table next to him.

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me what I should send your friend Lanie," Kate looked so confused and Rick smiled, "Well, she picked the place and time for you to go to the hotel, I feel like I owe her for meeting you." He kissed her temple and she smiled.

"Why were you even out there?" He asked, kissing her temple again.

"I just made detective and I'm pretty sure Lanie picked that weekend for other reasons that she would never voice." Kate tried to smile but she suddenly felt emotional.

"Other reasons?" Rick asked, taking Kate's wine glass away and putting it down next to his.

"The weekend I was in Long Beach was the anniversary of my mothers death. Lanie knows that I usually go hide for the weekend, so I'm guessing she thought if she said it was about me getting a promotion then I would have to go." Kate shrugged.

"Kate, I didn't know, I'm so sorry." Rick faced Kate, his tone serious.

"Of course you didn't know, I wasn't exactly going to blurt it out at the pub when I wouldn't even tell you what I did for a living." Kate laughed, lightening the mood.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Rick asked.

"I knew you were a murder mystery writer, I didn't want to bring it up because I'm used to people changing the entire conversation to my job. It gets annoying sometimes." She looked out over the beach.

"You could have told me anything and I would still have been memorized by those eyes, I feel like I had seen them before, they still draw me in."

Kate felt short of breath, this was it, she would tell him that she had actually met him before the pub. But suddenly Rick was up, moving down the stairs and walking onto the sand, barefoot.

"Are you coming?" He asked, turning back to Kate.

Kate rolled her eyes and got up to join Rick.

"Where are we going?" Kate asked, trying to keep up with Rick.

"Romantic stroll." Rick said smiling, taking Kate's hand in his and pulling her closer to him.

They walked in silence; both of them watching the ocean hit the sand and retract.

"Can I ask you something?" Rick asked, not breaking his stride.

"Sure."

"If I hadn't been with Gina in that bookshop, would you have come over to me?"

Kate thought for a moment, not really knowing what to say.

"Lanie basically dragged me there and was going to force me into speaking to you, but if I had been alone, probably not."

Rick made a disappointed face at Kate and stuck out his bottom lip.

"What? We kissed in a pub one night, I wasn't going to walk up to a famous author when there were girls flocking to him and be like 'Hey want to make out again?' It totally doesn't work like that, we've talked about this."

Rick didn't answer, instead he let go of Kate's hand and wrapped it around her shoulder, kissing her temple at the same time.

"What if I decided to not go to the charity thing that day or you weren't there to arrest him? We would have never met each other again, don't you think about things like that?" Rick asked.

"I try not to because then it's all about the 'what ifs' rather than the now." Kate smiled, even surprising herself with her answer.

"Well I'm super glad that guy was a jerk and you had to arrest him," Rick stopped, spinning Kate around, "But I would have found you eventually."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes, as she wrapped her hands around Rick's neck.

"I could have found someone different by the time you found me." Kate teased.

"That was unfair, Kate Beckett, unfair."

Kate didn't answer, she just kissed Rick.

-x-

They were both exhausted, Rick had made her walk all along the beach and up through the track back to the house. When they finally got back to the house, much to Rick's disapproval Kate made him go write. It only lasted an hour and Rick was snuggled in next to Kate on the sun lounger outside.

"You're supposed to be writing." Kate said.

"I did an outline of a chapter, good enough for today." Rick's voice was quiet.

"I'm pretty sure this isn't what you had in mind when you came out here, you're supposed to be writing."

"This is exactly what I had in mind when I came out here, to be honest, this is better than what I had in mind." Rick was smiling, Kate could tell by his voice.

"Rick, go write." Kate rolled over and pushed Rick.

"I just sit in there thinking about you, it's no use." Rick was still smiling.

"Fine." Kate got up, much to the annoyance of Rick and walked inside. She laid down on the big brown leather couch, pulling a book from the shelf and got herself comfy.

"What are you doing?" Rick asked, standing in the doorway.

"I'm sitting in here so you can write and know what I'm doing." Kate pointed to the laptop and raised an eyebrow at Rick.

"But, I don't want to." Rick was acting like a child. He walked over to Kate, dropped down on his knees and rested his head on the couch.

Kate ran her fingers through his hair, finally cupping his face. "If you don't go write, I'm going home."

"That is unfair, you just got here." Rick pouted.

"My rules." Kate smiled a wicked smile at Rick, her eyes sparkling.

"Fine." Rick said, before stealing a quick kiss from Kate.

-x-

"Movie?" Rick asked, sitting down next to Kate.

They had ordered pizza for dinner, neither of them wanting to cook.

"What have you got?" Kate asked, stretching out. She had fallen asleep on the couch earlier, the sound of Rick typing was like a lullaby and she couldn't keep her eyes open.

"Most of the movies out here are kids ones, they keep Alexis entertained in the Winter when I'm writing."

"Peter Pan." Kate said, pointing to the case.

"Seriously?" Rick asked, smiling at Kate.

"I love that movie, I haven't seen it in forever as well." Kate was excited, she loved kids movies. They have her this sense of home, her childhood, the love of her parents as they sat down to watch a movie on a Sunday afternoon together.

Rick sat down, automatically putting his arm around Kate and pulling a blanket over the pair of them.

Kate felt at ease next to Rick, she hadn't felt this way in so long.

"Was Wendy your favorite?" Rick asked her.

"Nope, it was all about Tinkerbell for me." Kate smiled at Rick.

"Why?" Rick asked, turning his focus from the television back to Kate.

"She's loyal to Peter and the lost boys, she drinks the poison because she loves him and wants to save him rather than her be alive. She's jealous of Wendy but it just shows how much she loves Peter," Kate shrugged her shoulders and turned to Rick, "To me, that's the definition of love, willing to do anything for that one person and plus she is totally badass." Kate laughed.

"You are pretty badass too." Rick said, kissing Kate's cheek.

"You have no idea." She flirted and Rick's jaw dropped.

-x-

Kate stood in the doorway watching Rick read in bed. She walked over to his side of the bed, sitting down next to him. He immediately put the book down and turned his focus to Kate.

"I was thinking about tomorrow, we should go out and do something?" Rick questioned.

Kate didn't answer, instead she bit her bottom lip.

"Kate?" Rick asked, leaning forward.

Kate didn't answer, instead she kissed him, pushing him back down on the bed and moving on top of him. The kissing was passionate and heated as hands flew everywhere. Kate pulled on Rick's shirt, pulling him down onto her, letting him take charge. Rick pulled away and looked down at Kate.

"Kate, is this what you want?" Rick asked.

Kate smiled and pulled Rick back to her.

-x-

"Good sleep?" Rick asked, when Kate walked into his office.

She had slept solidly for twelve hours, she didn't even feel Rick get up in the morning.

"Yeah, can't believe how much I slept, why didn't you wake me?" Kate asked, sitting down on the massive leather couch in Rick's office.

"I came up about an hour ago but you were out cold, you obviously needed it." Rick smiled at Kate and she rolled her eyes.

"Now I'm all blah though." Kate moaned, lying back on the couch.

"It's not like you have anything to do though, you could sleep all day if you wanted."

"That's not fair on you though, I didn't come here to sleep." Kate said, covering her face.

"No, but you came for a holiday and if that means sleeping, go for it." Rick stated, getting up from his desk and moving towards Kate.

Kate looked up to Rick, her hazel green eyes tired but sparkling. She pulled his shirt down until he was on top on her, their lips found each other like they had never touched each other before, his hands were frenzied, running up, under her shirt pulling her body closer to his, every touch reminding them of last night. Kate moaned into Rick and he deepened the kiss. She pushed him away before she couldn't stop herself.

"Nooo..." Rick was kissing her neck, his tongue hot against her skin.

"You need to write, I'm distracting you." Kate was giggling.

"I don't care, distract me all you like." Rick smiled, kissing Kate again and she gave in when Rick's shirt hit the floor.

-x-

"There you are, it's been hours." Rick cuddled into Kate, who was leaning against the barrier of the balcony.

"It's been three hours, I popped my head into the office but you were really involved in whatever you were writing."

"Derrick Storm just had a re-encounter with the sexy woman from the bar, you might know her, her name is Kate." Rick was laughing into her hair, his arms tightening around her middle.

"You better have not written them a sex scene." Kate said, rubbing Rick's hands.

"Possibly, there was a leather couch involved."

"Oh jeez, Rick, I don't want people knowing that about us." Kate said, not being able to hold a serious face. She turned to face Rick, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't delve into any details about us, or you, like that tiny birthmark on the inside on your thigh." Rick moved his hand from around her waist, moving it up her leg, under her dress, right on the spot of her birthmark, slowly drawing circles around it.

"Rick..." Kate's breath was rugged even at the touch of his hand so close to her.

"Yes, sweetheart." He said, whispering into her ear, slightly sucking on her earlobe.

"Food." Kate said, not managing to string a sentence together.

"Have you even eaten today?" He asked, pulling away from her.

"Uh...I had some fruit before." Kate had to think hard, she actually couldn't remember, she'd gone for a walk in the morning and lounged around most of the afternoon.

"Kate." Rick frowned, putting on his best fatherly look.

Kate simply shrugged and smiled.

"When we get back to the city, we're going to get you into a routine of actually eating meals."

"How are you going to do that?" Kate asked.

"I'll find a way, even if I have to cook you every single meal myself, I will. But, I promise that I'll stand outside the precinct when I bring them to you."

Kate made a face at Rick.

"Too soon?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

"Can we forget that ever happened please?" Kate asked, leaning into Rick's chest.

Rick simply laughed and pulled her inside.

"We could go out for dinner?" Rick asked, standing in the fully stocked kitchen, "Kate?" Rick asked, when Kate didn't reply.

"What?" Kate asked, coming out of a daze.

"Are you still thinking about the fight?" Rick asked, pulling her into the lounge and pulling her down so she was sitting on his knee.

"I acted like such a child, I should have been thankful that you wanted to merge you into my work life, that you were willing to make the effort and I completely shut it down. You've given me so much, you let me into Alexis' life and let me meet Martha and I haven't given you anything."

Rick's face was shocked, he wasn't expecting that at all and neither was Kate, it basically had fallen from her mouth.

"I've been lucky in my life, I have an amazing job, a job that meant I could stay home and look after my child, a child that is growing up everyday, and she's perfect Kate, I don't know where she gets it from but it's there and then there is Mother, who sometimes I want to strangle, but most of the time she graces my life with such humor and love but when I sat down at that pub, something changed. I've dated before, I'm sure you know that and some of it, isn't things I'm proud of but that was before you. That was before I saw you across that ballroom arresting that guy, before my heart almost fell out of my chest. These past few months have amazed me, I'm excited every time I see you, every time you walk through the front door to the loft, I don't want you to ever leave. I have to pinch myself sometimes that you agreed to date me, you're one of the most amazing people I've ever known and your past, your history, makes you the strongest person I've ever met. Kate, when you smile, everything disappears, you're all I can see and I don't want that to ever go away. That's what you've given me, something you can't see but it's there and I hope it always will be."

They sat there in silence and Rick did what he did best, he ruined the moment, "You could always dump me for sounding horribly cliché and being mushy."

Kate laughed through the tears streaming down her face. Richard Castle could make her cry and laugh at the same time and she couldn't have been happier.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her hard, a kiss to let her know that he would always be there and wouldn't leave her behind.

"Dinner out then?" Kate finally said as they broke apart, wiping her tears from Rick's face.

"Nope, I want you all to myself tonight." Rick hugged her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Do you know what's missing?" Kate asked, turning to Rick.

"What?"

"Alexis, I feel like she would be fun up here."

"You sure know the way to my heart, Kate Beckett. I agree though, we do have board games and cards."

-x-

Kate fell down next to Rick on the floor that was covered in the softest white rug, both of them stuffed from dinner. Rick had cooked chicken on the barbecue and they had made burgers.

"Poker?" Rick asked, shuffling the deck.

Kate nodded, not wanting to move from eating too much.

"I feel sick." Kate moaned, covering her face. Rick laughed at her and then raised an eyebrow.

"Take your dress off, give yourself room to breathe. Kate!" he shrieked, "lets play strip poker."

"After that dinner? Seriously? I don't feel very sexy right now." Kate laughed, leaning back on the fluffy rug.

"You are so sexy, I'm having trouble controlling myself from jumping you right now."

Kate kept laughing, she couldn't stop. It quickly turned into a giggling frenzy.

"Detective Beckett, are you laughing at me and the need for me to jump you because if you are, my pride will be seriously wounded.

Kate put her hand over her mouth, trying to make herself stop laughing but it wouldn't work. Rick moved over her, tickling her sides and Kate shrieked with laughter, trying to push Rick off her.

"Rick, stop." Kate panted, in-between laughs.

Kate tried to roll over, move away from Rick but he wouldn't let up.

Kate did the only thing that would get his attention, she pulled at his belt buckle and his hands stopped, he looked down at her and she bit her bottom lip so she wouldn't laugh.

"You play dirty." He said, as Kate pulled the belt out of the loops.

"You were the one tickling me." she said coyly, chucking the belt across the room.

"That is different." He said, moving his weight so he was comfortably on top of Kate.

"How?" Kate asked, pulling his shirt off him.

"I was doing it to get you to laugh, you had fire in your eyes when you pulled my belt buckle."

Kate didn't reply, instead she rolled her lip between her teeth and looked up to Rick.

"When you do that, it kills me." Rick said, looking down at Kate.

She cupped his face with her hands and slowly drew his face to hers. She kissed his lips gently, not letting him deepen the kiss.

"Kate..." Rick moaned when she nibbled gently on his lip and ran her fingers over his back.

-x-

"That might have to go in the book." Rick smiled at Kate.

"Don't you dare." Kate grabbed the pillow and fired it towards Rick.

Rick was laughing when the pillow hit him, "What are you going to do Detective? Arrest me?," he said, chucking the pillow away.

"You should see what I can do with my handcuffs." Kate winked at Rick before getting up and walking up the stairs to the bathroom, knowing that Rick's jaw would be hitting the floor as he watched her walk up the stairs.

"You were kidding about the handcuffs ay?" Rick asked, joining her in the shower, not bothering to ask if he could join her.

Kate just smiled at him, before kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear, "You might find out one day."

Rick almost hit the shower wall, he had to hold onto the wall to hold himself up. Kate just laughed at him, washing the shampoo out of her hair.

-x-

Rick crawled into bed after locking all the doors and windows. Both of them exhausted from the day.

"We should probably leave the house tomorrow." Rick said, curling Kate's damp hair.

"You have writing to do, I can entertain myself."

Rick winked at Kate and she rolled her eyes.

"Get your mind out of the gutter." Kate said, rolling over to face him.

"I'm sorry but after that handcuff remark it's going to be stuck in the gutter for awhile."

Kate laughed as she reached up to kiss him on the lips, "Goodnight, Rick."

"Goodnight, Gorgeous." Rick kissed her forehead, and she snuggled into him.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Sadface.

* * *

><p>Chapter Twelve.<p>

Kate woke suddenly, Rick's arm was lazily draped across her stomach. She rolled over to face him, watching him sleep. He was frowning and his eyes were squeezed tightly closed.

She ran her finger up his cheek, his stubble ticking her finger.

"Kate." He mumbled.

"Who else would it be?" She said quietly, smiling.

"Bad dream." He said, his eyes still closed.

"What happened?" She asked, still caressing his cheek.

"You left me." He said simply, Kate froze thinking about his previous facial features.

"Rick," Kate said, tugging his shirt. His eyes flew open, immediately falling on her, "What?"

"We were at a book signing and there was this guy there, This famous author with two hundred best-sellers and you left with him."

Kate just laughed, playfully pushing his hand away and trying to sit up.

"It's not funny." Rick's voice was groggy.

"Yes, it is, the famous Richard Castle, worried that some girl is going to leave him." Kate rolled her eyes.

"You are not 'some girl' honestly, Kate." Rick's voice was more serious now.

"Don't panic, I'm not going anywhere," Kate lent down, kissing Rick's cheek, "Go back to sleep."

"What If I wake up and you're gone?" He asked, fighting to keep his eyes open.

Kate kissed him gently on the lips, "Don't worry, I'll be here."

-x-

She tied her running shoes in the way her mom had taught her, all those years ago before she started school. What would her mother think of all this? A weekend away with her boyfriend to his beach house in the Hamptons was normal at Kate's age but it wasn't normal for Kate.

What would Lanie, Esposito and Ryan think?

What would her dad think? She would have to tell him soon, especially if it made it to the papers first. He'd be sad if she didn't let him know.

She ran along the beach, letting the cool morning air rip into her lungs.

She thought about how her mom would never meet him, never get to see the way he makes her smile.

Where had her life taken her these past months? She felt free as she ran, she felt like she could go for miles and never tire. She was finally happy and content and there was someone waiting for her back in bed, someone that cared for her in a way she thought no one could ever. Someone that made her smile even when she was convinced she was going to break down, someone that now carried her heart.

Someone called Richard Castle.

When she stopped at her sudden realization, all the running caught up with her and she was almost knocked to the ground. Completely and utterly breathless she realized that she might possibly love him.

She loves Richard Castle.

Kate grabbed at her stomach, it was tightened from the running, her legs aching. She fell to the sand gasping for the water bottle she left on the counter.

She dragged herself to her feet, walking back towards the beach house, trying to calm down her breathing.

When Kate finally reached the beach out steps, she saw Rick standing in the door way, she smiled up to him but his arms were crossed and the frown from this morning was back.

Then another thought smacked her out, she told him that she would be there when we woke, recalling their conversation from this morning.

"Rick." She treaded carefully towards him.

"I know that it sounded stupid, like a grown up having a bad dream but you said you would be here and then I come down the stairs and I can't find you. I actually thought you had left. It wasn't until I spotted your drink bottle and watch on the table, I thought you could be out running. I've paced the room thinking that you finally had realized that you could do better or that it wasn't real for you."

"I didn't even think, what's the time?" She asked, having left her watch behind.

"Half eight." He said, his lips pursed.

She had been out running for over an hour and a half.

"What?" Her tone confused him.

That's why she thought her legs we're going to fall off, she hadn't stopped for a break until she could no longer shake the feelings in her head.

"I'm sorry Rick, I was only supposed to go for a quick run but I forgot my watch and I kept going, my head was full of things and I kept pushing, I'm really sorry." She took another step towards him, he didn't back away.

He didn't reply.

"I thought about us when I was out there." She pointed towards the beach.

His eyes gravitated up from the floor to meet Kate's, his face not giving her any emotions.

"I thought about what everyone in my life would say about us, I thought about introducing you to my dad," Then Kate's smiled faded, "I thought about the fact my mom will never get to meet you and vice versa, that she'll never get to see the way that you can make me smile, how happy you make me."

Rick couldn't fight it any longer, he made his way to her, sweeping her into him.

"I'm all sweaty." She tried to wriggle from him, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

"I don't care." Rick said, tightly hugging her.

"Please." She said, pushing against his chest and he gave in, stepping away from her.

She leaned against the balcony railing, enjoying the fresh air on her hot skin.

He stood behind her, his feet either side of hers.

"Stop checking out my ass, Rick." She laughed, looking over her shoulder and catching him.

"These shorts, honestly." Rick didn't even stop looking and Kate rolled her eyes at him.

Just like that, they were back into their groove. Both of them forgetting about before.

"I have that thing at Alexis' school next week." Kate said, finally bringing it up.

She felt Rick step closer to her, still holding her hips. She stood up, resting into his chest.

"That's if you still want me to go." She said quietly, not wanting to bring up the fight again.

"I wont be there, she could only choose one person, she chose you." Rick was smiling, she could tell.

Kate turned to Rick, facing him and studying his face.

"Why?" She asked, confused.

"Because you are inspirational, she could tell that about you and she wants to share it."

"I don't want to overstep." Kate said, biting her bottom lip.

"You're not Kate, at all. She came and asked me about you the first night you came over, and I told her everything I know. I think you have quite the fan." Rick smiled.

Kate fell silent.

"What?" He asked, squeezing her.

"Just thinking about my dad, you should meet him." Kate took his hand in her's.

"If you want me to, I'd love to." Rick was surprised by Kate's sudden need to open herself completely to him.

"Unless you think it's moving too fast." Kate's defensive wall going back up.

"Kate, I want to meet him. I love that you're opening up to me," Rick moved in front of her, running his hands down her back and picking her up, placing her on the balcony.

Kate wrapped her legs around Rick's middle and her arms around his neck. They were eye to eye, she was smiling and enjoying the weight off her legs.

"My Dad is going to love Alexis, I can tell already. Well, that's if you want him around her with his past, I understand if you don't."

"Please, this is the child that tells me off for staying up past my bed time. I think we'll be good. Do you think he would mind me having a kid? What about our age difference?" Now Rick's insecure wall was coming up.

Kate just laughed, "He isn't the kind of person who would think twice about that. As long as you don't break my heart, we'll be good." Kate brushed her nose past Rick's.

"I think if there will be a broken heart in this relationship, it'll be mine. You might trade me in for a new, sexier author." Rick pouted, referencing his dream from this morning.

"I did have my eye on Patterson for a bit there, had to settle for you though," Kate raised her eyebrows at Rick and laughed when he pulled out the puppy dog eyes, "What about you, you might trade me in for a busty blonde that lets you sign her chest?"

Rick laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm more than happy to give up all the chest signing for you." Rick said, making it sound like a grand gesture.

"And then the Castle groupies would hound me, no thanks. You can sign all the chests you want, I'm not crossing your fans."

Rick laughed, knowing she was right.

"How do you want to deal with the press? They tend to leave me alone, if it's a new book they get a bit crazy but with your job, you won't want that."

"They haven't caught us yet, when and if they do, we'll just go with the flow. I don't want to make this massive deal about it, that'll just make it more of a game for them. My job is a problem with this, but I want you and it comes with the territory." Kate shrugged her shoulders.

Rick pulled Kate forward, holding her tightly, he pulled her off he balcony, her legs wrapped around his waist still.

"Where are we going?" Kate asked, when Rick went inside, carrying her.

"You turned me on, we're going back to bed."

Kate laughed as Rick carried her all the way up the stairs.

-x-

Kate rolled over, suddenly wide awake. Rick was next to her on the phone, leaning against the headboard, he sounded half asleep and wasn't making sense. Kate sat up, dragging off the sheet from around her naked body and walked into the bathroom in only her underwear. They were both groggy after the early morning wake up call.

Kate walked back into the bedroom, pulling on one of Rick's shirts and crawled into bed next to him. He wrapped his free hand around her, kissing the top of her head. He had a shirt and boxers on, she couldn't remember him leaving the bed though.

He was agreeing and disagreeing by making weird sounds, each time Kate would feel his chest rumble.

He finally clicked the phone off, tossing it on the floor.

"I have to go to San Francisco for a week, next month." He groaned.

Kate sat up, draping her leg over his, so she was facing him.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"They have an authors corner where they read from their books, good press for the next book, I guess." Rick shrugged his shoulders, slightly unimpressed.

"Will Alexis go?" Kate asked, not really knowing how these things worked with Alexis.

"It coincides with school holidays so I guess she will be. You should come with me." Rick smiled at Kate.

She just frowned, knowing there was no way she could go.

"A week without you, how will I ever survive?" Rick protested.

"We've gone longer than a week before, you'll be fine." Kate rolled her eyes at him.

"That was different."

Kate pulled a face at Rick and he laughed.

"Gina will be there." Rick said cautiously.

"Was that her on the phone?" Kate asked, looking up to Rick.

He simply nodded and she repeated his action herself.

"She has a few others authors from Black Pawn that are going, she has to keep us in line somehow," Rick paused, "that came out wrong."

Kate shrugged, forcing out a smile. She wasn't jealous, she just didn't enjoy it that Gina would be there.

"You wearing that shirt, with your legs over me and that gorgeous jealous pout is very sexy." Rick was laughing when Kate pulled the sheets over her head, groaning.

"I'm not jealous." She huffed, under the sheet.

"Ok, Kate. You aren't jealous." Rick laughed.

"She's just pretty and I saw you kissing and.." Kate stopped, she was jealous. They both knew it.

Joining Kate under the sheet, Rick cupped her face, "Don't be, we were together once but that is long over. I can promise you that, there was never feeling there, it was never this." He kissed Kate.

"But." Kate started but Rick stopped her.

"No, we weren't right for each other at all, the entire relationship only lasted a few months and by that stage we both knew that it wouldn't work."

Kate fell silent, not knowing what to say.

"Sometimes we would go out for dinner, the press loved it and it was good for the books, but not anymore. She knows that, I've told her."

Kate still didn't speak.

"We are going out today, what should we do?" Rick asked, changing the conversation topic.

"What is there to do?" Kate asked, looking up to Rick, in their sheet fort.

"Shopping, cinema, bowling, tennis?" Rick queried, resting his hands on Kate's bare legs.

"Something that doesn't require effort." Kate said, as Rick drew circles on her thigh.

"Have I worn you out, Detective?" Rick smiled.

"You're funny, Movies?" Kate asked, feeling sore from both of her workouts this morning.

"If only we get to sit in the back row and make it like teenagers." Rick was laughing, pulling the sheet off the two of them.

-x-

Both Kate and Rick winced as they walked out of the cinema, Kate putting on her sunglasses before taking another step. She could barely remember what the movie was even about, it was scary but neither of them were paying attention. They were the only ones in the theater and she had given into them acting like teenagers. Basically because he had moved his fingers up her thigh and she couldn't control herself.

Rick took her hand as they walked through the main street. Kate noticed a few people looking at Rick, she had never noticed it before.

"Mr. Castle?" they heard a voice behind them and they both turned. A short, blonde girl stood there holding his latest novel, clutched in her hand. Kate noticed her parents sitting at the table across the road, watching their daughter.

Rick stood in front of Kate, basically shielding her from the girl.

"Yes?" Rick said, smiling.

"I was wondering if you could sign my book?" she asked politely, holding her book and pen out, "You're like my favorite author."

"Sure thing, what's your name?" he asked, being completely charming.

"Simone. Hi, I'm Simone." She said, looking at Kate.

Kate took the sunglasses off and smiled at Simone.

"Hi, I'm Kate." Kate smiled at the girl.

"Kate?" Simone asked, raising an eyebrow at Rick and then back to Kate, "Like the Kate from this book?"

Rick's jaw nearly hit the floor, neither of them had even thought about the bit he had written in his latest book.

"Uh, you could say that." Kate smiled, not sure whether to deny it or not.

"Wow, you're really pretty." Simone smiled up at Kate.

"Thanks." Kate said, catching the smile on Rick's face.

"There you go, Simone." Rick smiled at her, handing back her book.

"Do you think I could have a picture as well?" she held up a camera and Rick smiled and nodded.

"I'll take it." Kate smiled, taking the camera from Simone.

"Thank you so much, you two are great." Simone skipped across the road, basically squealing to her mom.

"I didn't even think about the book, I'm sorry that happened." Rick was apologetic, worried about what she thought.

Kate smiled at him, taking his hand and continued to walk down the street.

"I won't put the other bits in the book, it's unfair for you."

Kate turned to Rick, "It weirds me out a bit, because I know people who read the books, but honestly, I don't care anymore. I'm sick of being worked up over things that shouldn't matter." Kate smiled, leaning in and kissing Rick on the lips.

-x-

By the end of the afternoon, the sun was beginning to set. Kate was exhausted. Her body was aching from her run this morning, she had lost the ability to run long distance after not training.

"You sore?" Rick asked, siting down next to her in his office.

Kate nodded, closing her eyes.

"Why did you go for so long then?" He asked, rubbing her leg.

"I don't know, I just kept going. I wasn't tired until I stopped and then it hit me." Kate rolled her neck around, scrunching her face up.

Rick got up, walking out the door. She heard him parade up the stairs.

She closed her eyes, only for a moment.

"What?" She asked, as Rick picked her up, her arms wrapping around his neck.

"I can walk you know, this is the second time you've carried me up these today." She smiled.

She smelt it before she saw it. It smelt like vanilla and strawberries. Rick carried her into the bathroom, he had run her a bubble bath in the massive spa pool bath.

"Rick." She breathed into his neck as he put her down.

"Off." He said, tugging at her top and she raised her arms and he pulled it off.

She undressed herself and Rick lit the rest of the candles.

She knew he was watching her, she was standing naked in front of him and he made no effort to hide where he was looking.

"Hop in." He said, pointing to the huge bath.

"Are you joining me?" She asked, lifting a leg into the bath, him holding her hand, balancing her.

"No, this is your time to relax and it wont be very relaxing if I join you, I already can't stop staring at you." He smiled.

"But you did all this." She stepped her second leg into the bath, still holding his hand.

"I did it for you."

She kissed him before she sat down, running her hands through his hair, trying to entice him to stay there with her.

"Don't think I don't know what you are doing either, Detective." He moved back but let his hand fall down her back, gently resting his hands on her bare ass.

"Get in." She whispered, wanting him to join her.

"I hate that I'm going to say no, I have a few calls to make as well."

Kate pouted at him.

"Kate, don't make me hate myself for this." His hands dropped from around her and he took a step back.

She sat down in the hot bath, letting the bubbles take over her. She knew that he was watching her, she leaned back against the back of the bath and raised her leg from the water, running the cloth over her upper thigh.

She heard him groan and his shirt hit the floor within seconds. Kate laughed when Rick basically dove into the bath. Water spilled over the edge as he made his way to her, feeling her body under his in the water, bubbles strewn across every surface including Kate. He wiped away the bubbles from her cheek, then leaning in to kiss her.

The two of them, facing each other, her legs over his. She was kissing his neck, letting her tongue and the hot water work together.

"This was meant to be relaxing for you." Rick said, his eyes closed.

"I'm quite relaxed." She smiled to him, her hands around his neck and he closed the space between them.

They kissed again, lazily playing with each others tongues. Finally, they broke apart, foreheads rested together and they both had their eyes closed.

"Can we never leave?" Rick asked, running his hands down her back.

"What about Alexis? Martha?" Kate asked, ruining his moment.

"They can come to, more to the point, can we just not be apart?" Rick asked.

"You say such girly things sometimes." Kate smiled and Rick sat up, frowning.

"Did you just call me a girl?" He asked, she knew he was joking.

"Come on, seriously."

"Well, it's not my fault that I have insecurities about us."

Kate's eyes grew, she stared at him, worry about what he meant.

"Whoa, not like that," His hands stopped roaming, but held her tight, "I meant in the way of you being you."

"Digging yourself a hole here." She wasn't kidding any longer.

"Look at you," He leaned back, looking at her soapy body facing his, "Every guy you walk past looks at you, guys actually turn around and stare at you. Don't roll your eyes at me, I've witnessed it. It makes my insides hurt, that is what i'm insecure about. That you'll realize you could do better."

"Feeling a bit old there, Rick?" She laughed at him after he redeemed himself.

He turned his head, looking in the mirror.

"Does my age worry you?" He asked, fully serious.

"No." She shook her head.

"You could get someone so much younger though."

"I don't want anyone else." She shut him up by kissing him, he didn't fight it either.

* * *

><p>Author Note: So I had kind of a flailing moment when I saw on tumblr, the 12th Precincts: "Reblog with the names of your 5 favorite Castle fanfics..." And some of you had put this story and my other one. I honestly smiled all day, so I just wanted to thank you if you were one of the people or even if you're just reading this story, it means so much to me. I kinda forget about the fact people actually read it, that was a reminder.<p>

Anyway about this chapter, it's kinda fluffy. I've been reading loads of fanfics over the last week and heaps of them peg Kate as the baggage carrying/unstable one so it got me thinking about a new relationship and that moment when you have insecurities about if it could really work. That's basically what happened here, mostly Rick's but some of Kate's as well and how different people move at different paces in relationships. It's never the same and never easy so I hope I did it justice.

Hannah.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

It was late when Castle's phone rang. Alexis wasn't feeling well on school camp and the teacher had rung Rick so he could talk to her before bed. Kate left him talking on the phone, not wanting to intrude on his conversation.

She sat outside on the last step, her toes digging into the sand, which was still warm from the late afternoon sun.

"Hey." Rick said, taking two steps at a time and joining her on the last.

"She not feeling well?" Kate asked, worried about Alexis.

"I just don't think she's used to sharing a room with three other girls. She said they talked pretty late last night and had to do a tramp in some forest today. She just sounded completely exhausted and worked up. I told her to spend tonight and if she was still feeling the same tomorrow, then I could go and get her."

"I remember school camp, you'd come home and sleep for a week to try and recover." Kate smiled at the memory.

"I remember being sent home from school camp for setting fire to the archery target." Rick smiled and Kate look shocked.

"Well, I'm glad that Alexis hasn't inherited some of your traits. Naked on a police horse, sent home from school camp from being a pyro, what else have you done that I should be concerned about?" Kate laughed, leaning in next to Rick.

"I clearly do not have enough alcohol in my system to keep going with this conversation." Rick teased.

Kate got up, signaling to Rick to stay. She returned to the step in a few minutes holding a bottle of tequila and a pack of cards.

"Same rules as last time? I draw black from my pile, you tell me something embarrassing or funny about your life and if you draw red, I tell you something about mine." Kate said, filling two shot glasses with tequila and shuffling the deck.

"Well, I never. Detective Kate Beckett wanting to play a drinking game to get information out of me, I like it," he smiled, holding up the shot she had just poured, "I believe your rules were a toast for the first shot?"

Kate nodded, holding her shot glass, close to his.

"What are we going to toast to?" Kate asked.

"How about to the most gorgeous woman in the world?" Rick said, his blazing smile making her almost jump him.

Kate looked over her shoulder, looking confused, "Is she here? We should get her to play with us." Kate smiled.

Rick growled at her and she kept smiling.

"How about to the sexiest author I know?" Kate teased.

"If you aren't talking about me, I'll be kind of wounded. I won't lie. How about to us?"

Kate smiled and nodded.

The shot glasses clunked and they threw back the tequila, it burning the back of Beckett's throat.

"No lemon or salt?" Rick asked, his eyes screwed up at the taste of the tequila.

"It's cheating." Kate said, pouring another two shots.

Kate flipped the first card over, black.

He rolled his eyes.

"My friend from college asked my Mother out on a date. She said yes."

Kate nearly choked. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately." He closed his eyes, shaking his head, trying to get the memory out of his mind.

"Wow." Kate was laughing, making Rick squirm more.

"It was only one date, then he told me that he wanted it to work but apparently he thought she was 'more of a woman than he could handle' so he retreated."

He flipped the card from his pile, black.

"Jeez," Kate pushed the shot glass to Rick and shook her head, "You need this."

He graciously took the shot. Hoping he could forget that memory fast.

She flipped red, lifted the shot to her mouth and threw it back.

He flipped black and groaned, he wanted to hear about her stories but the odds were not in his favor tonight. She poured him another shot; he took it without a word.

"You're cheating." He said when she pulled black.

"You saw me shuffle, Rick." She pouted at him, waiting for another one of his embarrassing stories.

"Fine. I hid in a cupboard at a PTA meeting at Alexis' school, one time for two hours."

"Why?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I got cornered by one of the moms, she is so scary. She tried making out with me in the hallway and I ran for it, thinking a classroom would be safe until I could tell she was gone but turns out that room is the one they have meetings in. She sat there talking about all the dirty things she wanted to do to me and they were all agreeing. It was haunting, I contemplating moving Alexis to another school."

Kate was laughing.

"It scared me, Kate."

"Aww poor baby." She squeezed one of his cheeks, laughing.

He flipped the card and finally smiled. The eight of hearts shone on the top of the pile. Kate sighed, knowing eventually that she couldn't get out of it.

"My stories won't be as good as yours." Kate said, looking at Rick.

"That means you can't be as emotionally screwed up as I am, I would take that as a good thing." Rick squeezed her leg.

"This one time in high school, my friend Maddie and I went to a senior party. We had a few drinks and the boys we liked were going to go swimming. We joined them and it quickly turned into skinny-dipping. Problem was, there was a house on the beach and we didn't know there was actually an 80th birthday going on and the cops were called on us. Our other friend had stolen our clothes from the beach as a joke but when the Police got there, she was nowhere to be found. So I was escorted home to my parents wearing a blanket and an NYPD jacket."

Rick was laughing so hard, she could tell that he couldn't picture her doing something that reckless.

"That is golden." He was still laughing and Kate pulled a face.

She flipped red and happily took the shot.

He flipped red again and she pouted, "Finally this game is going somewhere."

Kate took a moment, trying to think of a good story to tell him.

"We had the weekend off at the academy one time so a couple of us went down to the local pub to have a few drinks. The local biker club also hung out there and we had just learnt some defensive moves so when one of them grabbed my ass, I dropped him in a second. Turns out that he was actually the leader of the gang and they were after us. He hid in this truck at the nearest gas station but it took off, with us in the back. By the time it stopped again, we were just outside New York City and had three hours to get back for morning training so we had to hitchhiked back."

"You were quite wild weren't you?" Rick asked, completely surprised by her stories.

"This isn't even the bad stuff." She laughed, flipping a black card.

"I want to hear more of your stories." Rick said, frowning at his card.

"No cheating." She shook her head.

"I was kind of dating this girl just after college ended, she was nice and everything but there was no spark and no fire. She asked me to go to this dance thing but I told her I was busy writing so she went alone. I went to a party instead and met this other girl, who seemed perfect so I went home with her. Turns out she was roommates with the other girl and they found out in the morning. She cut up all my clothes and I had to do the walk of shame home butt naked."

"Well, that serves you right." Kate frowned.

"I didn't know they were friends!" Rick raised his hands, signaling the white flag.

"You could have been nicer to the other girl though, bet she felt horrible." Kate said, looking at the ocean.

"We had been out on a few dates, we hadn't even kissed."

"Still." Kate wouldn't look at him. She wasn't angry but she felt for the girl.

"I bet you broke some hearts, Kate." Rick said as a statement although it came out more like a question.

"Got my heartbroken too, works both ways."

"Someone actually broke your heart? I can't believe it." Rick shook his head and Kate smiled.

"Freshman year of College, Rhys McGarrett. I thought he was the one. Honestly, he was perfect. Went back to school after a weekend away and found him kissing my roommate." Kate sighed, remembering the memory.

"Seriously?" Rick asked, filling the shots up with tequila. The cards lay discarded on the step.

"Yeah, I saw him a few years ago back in the city. He's actually married to Ellie. That was my roommate. Two kids. Dog. Pickett fence. The entire thing."

She took the shot, not even wincing at the burning anymore.

Rick sat there quietly, listening to her tell him this personal story, watching her open up.

"Funny how things work out though? All those 'what ifs' circling everywhere. He liked her and she liked him, I was the odd number in the equation but later I realized that I was in college, I was young, I was yet to actually feel hurt and pain until the year after."

"Your Mom?" Rick asked, moving the cards and tequila out of the way.

Kate simply nodded, turning to him.

He put his arm around her shoulder, tucking her into him. He leaned in, kissing the top of her head and resting his chin there.

"What a downer." Kate half laughed, enjoying Castle's warmth.

"Never. Hearing these things about you, even the horrible stuff, even when you don't want to ever talk about them again, it's good because I can get to know all of you."

Rick Castle. Always with the right words.

"Tell me another one of your stories." She asked, knowing that he would comply.

"A couple of my mates and I went out drinking one night, we'd had a few, we were happy enough and then Kian decided to call it quits. It was the first night that we'd been together since college and we weren't happy. Alexis was a baby and I'd managed to wrangle a night off, Nicky and Shane had both flown into the city for the night so when he left, we devised this epic plan. An hour later we headed back to the hotel he lived in, equipped with the best supplies. Broke into his room without him waking up. I don't know how we did it, we were fairly drunk. His wife was at their estate outside the city with her parents for the weekend. We tied him to their four-poster bed with these fluffy handcuffs, sprayed whipped cream all over him and bailed before he woke up."

"Rick, you didn't." Kate was laughing.

"I got this call the next morning from Jodi, his wife, demanding I go over there right that minute. Shane and Nicky had both flown out, conveniently being out reach. I was so hungover and had to trudge Alexis all the way across town. When I got there, I acted on my best behavior and walked into the lounge. She was standing there but Kian was missing. She pointed to their bedroom and we walked through, I happily left Alexis in her pram in the lounge, there are something's that even a baby shouldn't see. Kian was still in the handcuffs, the cream all melted over him and the sheets. She asked me if we had done it to him and I shook my head, acting completely surprised by what I saw. I had him for a minute before I burst out laughing, before telling him that if he bailed on us again, it would be worse."

Kate was still laughing and shaking her head.

"After that, we all got rid of any four-poster beds we had. To this day, if I stay at a hotel that has one, I get concerned about it." Rick laughed.

"What do they do now? Your friends?" Kate asked, sitting up and pouring a shot.

"Kian is still in hotel management, he runs a big hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Nicky is a lawyer in Whistler and Shane just finished an exhibition at a fancy Los Angeles gallery."

"Wow." Kate said, surprised.

"We were the kids that got kicked out of all the best schools in the City, went to the same college to party but somehow along the way, we actually managed to graduate and all get decent jobs. Still surprises us, don't you worry."

"Tell me another one."

"If I do, I want another one from you though," He paused until she nodded. "I was catching the subway one time, Alexis was about three and she loved it. It's all she ever wanted to do, we used to catch the subway for hours. I hated every second of it, I was so paranoid that someone was going to steal her or mug me. Anyway, she was in her pram and had fallen asleep so I decided to get off and catch a cab back home. She woke up just after we left the station and she cried the entire way back to the loft. I told her that the subway had broken and it needed to be fixed. She never asked to go on the subway after that, until a few years ago when that snow hit and I had to get her to school. I said we'd take the subway and she looked up at me, with the biggest blue eyes and asked if they had finally fixed the subway. I felt sick, she still thought it was broken, I just thought she got over the fascination with it."

"You're so cruel, what did she say when you told her?"

"I didn't. I let her skip the day at school and we spent the entire day on the subway. Went to Queens, The Bronx, Brooklyn. Everywhere. She still doesn't know, it'll be one of those stories that I tell her when she turns twenty-one I think."

"I can't believe you did that, poor girl."

"I know, I actually thought I was going to be sick. It was the simplest white lie to get her to stop crying and it lasted years without me knowing it."

"Bet you never made that mistake again." She smiled up at him and he nodded.

"Never. Your turn."

"My dad had this issue about dating when I was growing up. I had just turned seventeen and he still would make the biggest fuss about boys. My mom would laugh about it, saying it wasn't his fault and that I was his baby and he was just looking out for me. Anyway, I was asked to senior prom by one of the football players and my dad refused to let me go, knowing what happened on prom night," Kate rolled her eyes and smiled, "So the night before, I went to my friend Gillian's house and her older brother was in this band, tattoos, leather pants, long greasy hair and I thought of this plan to get my dad back. I knew him and mom would be up waiting for me to come home so we begged Gillian's brother to take me home on his motorcycle. When we drove up the drive, my dad almost jumped through the window at the sight of his little girl kissing this guy in the cheek and running inside. He was so mad, Rick. My mom just laughed the entire time. When he found out that it was all a prank, he knew that I obviously could look after myself, he even let me go to the prom."

"You little minx." Rick gasped.

"Turned out that I actually liked Mark, Gillian's brother and four months later I had my own motorcycle and leather." Kate laughed at the memory.

"What did your dad say to that?" Rick asked.

"He wasn't impressed but by that stage, he knew I could hold my own."

"Katherine Beckett had a motorcycle. I can't quite believe it."

"Had? I still have it." She smiled, taking a quick shot of tequila.

Rick sat there speechless, completely taken back by the thought of her straddling a bike in leather.

"And just think Rick, you've got all of that to look forward to with Alexis."

Rick groaned, removing his arm from around her shoulders and covering his face.

Kate poured them both a shot, handing one to Rick who willingly took it.

"To growing up and tormenting our parents." Kate laughed and the glasses clunked before they threw the shot back.

They sat in a comfortable silence, both thinking about the memories. Kate, not realizing how much she had had to drink stood up quickly, before falling back against Rick.

"Whoa." Rick said, catching her.

"Head is fuzzy." She said, standing again. This time actually managing to stand on her own.

"Tequila gone to your head?" Rick asked, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded, smiling. She checked her watch. They had been out there for three hours, it was well past midnight and she looked down the secluded beach. No one. It was absolutely silent.

"You know what?" She asked him, her voice low, leaning into him.

"What?" He asked, half smiling.

"I was always angry at those police officers who hauled me out of the water. I didn't even get a chance to make out with Simon John in the water." Kate said, pouting. She pulled her top off, undoing her jean button at the same time.

"Kate." Was all Rick could say as he watched Kate strip down. She soon stood before him, completely naked before she turned and walked towards the water. The moon shining on her bare skin.

"I should probably thank those officers." Rick smiled, standing and ripping his shirt off and shorts before following Kate into the water.

"Kate?" He called when he paddled into the water; she was nowhere to be seen. The water was up to his chest as he frantically looked around for her, knowing that swimming and drinking didn't mix well and he should have stopped her.

Before he called her name again, he felt something move up his body. Kate emerged out of the water, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him. She was salty from the ocean and from the tequila and Rick took a few seconds to catch up with her.

She wrapped her legs around him, pressing herself against him. Rick groaned as she slowly moved herself up and down his body. Has hands ran down her back, resting on her ass.

She was teasing him, letting herself rub over him, smiling as she did it.

"You're teasing me, Kate." He whispered in her ear and she giggled.

Kate Beckett giggled.

But he was in no way going to let her win at this. He took his right hand away from her and slowly moved it down the gap between them, so she couldn't tease him any longer. She frowned at him but before she could say anything, his hand had moved again and now was under her, waiting for the perfect moment.

"Why do you look so smug?" She asked him and he simply smiled at her.

"Rick." She whispered, not expecting that to happen at all. His fingers rubbing finding the spot that he knew got her, her breathing was shallow and ragged.

"Who is the tease now?" She said, breathless.

Everything was going dark or did everything go light? She couldn't actually tell.

**Hey everyone,**

**Sorry this took so long to get out. I've had a very busy few weeks and this story was haunting me a little. Reader126 actually requested another tequila/card game chapter so I hope you enjoyed it, and it's what you wanted.**

**Thanks to everyone that is still sticking with this, updates are going to come more frequently now we are on another hiatus from Castle and I'll be missing Castle and Becket.**

**I don't know if American has the PTA system at schools, it's like like parent help etc.**

**Have a great rest of the week and remember to tell me what you think.**

**H**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen.

When Kate's phone rung early the next morning she was brought back into the real world.

She groaned at the caller ID and looked over to Rick. His face said it all.

"Beckett." She answered, climbing out of the bed, grabbing one of his shirts on the way.

-x-

"Tell me that was a survey company or telephone company calling you to update your contract." Rick said, leaning against the headboard. His hair was messy, he hadn't shaved in a few days and all he was wearing was a sheet.

"Sadly it was the precinct reminding me that I need to get back to reality. Big case, need all the man power they can get." Kate sighed sitting down on the edge of the bed.

She brushed sand from her thigh from last nights escapades. She could barely remember getting inside, maybe Rick carried her again.

"You couldn't say no? You are on holiday." Rick didn't say it in a snarky way and she appreciated that he didn't want her to go.

"I could have said no, but they need my help, I'm sorry. But it's only a day earlier and it gives you time to actually write." Kate smiled, leaning over to him and cuddling into his chest.

She could smell the ocean on him and a tiny smell of tequila.

"It's a whole day though, I know I'm being a spoilt brat but I don't want you to go."

Kate laughed, "You can have me for an entire day when this case is over, we'll do whatever you want?"

"Anything?" Rick asked, winking at Kate and she laughed before pulling him down on top of her.

"I think I need a preview before you go, just so I know what to ask for." Rick laughed in-between kissing Kate.

"Is that right? Was last night not enough?" Kate asked, pushing his shoulders back so he couldn't get to her, Rick was nodding at her and smiling.

"Last night? Are you talking about in the water? Or on the beach? The staircase or in the bed?" Rick was laughing.

"We didn't." Kate covered her mouth, suddenly it was all coming back.

"We sure did, it was amazing."

-x-

Rick had stood at the gate as she pulled out of the his driveway, he was smiling but she could tell he wasn't happy about her leaving early. She had never had to worry about letting people down because of work before. Lanie cancelled on her all the time, she didn't have a problem with it because she knew it was her job, she didn't really spend much time with people outside of the precinct so she just had to get used to having someone waiting on her.

The drive back into the city was long and tedious, the traffic wasn't bad so Kate made it back into the precinct by lunch.

The Captain had apologized for cutting her holiday short and Kate had assured him that it was ok. He'd given her the weekend off to make up for it and she was ecstatic about it.

Ryan and Esposito had left some files to go over on her desk, they were out canvassing the crime scene. Triple homicide, all Jane does with no clues pointing anywhere.

-x-

Kate crawled into bed sometime after midnight. Her and Ryan had gone over all the missing person files and found a match for one of the victims. Lanie was finishing up the autopsies and would have results back in the morning. Esposito was tracking down the parents of the missing girl.

She hadn't talked to Rick all day, she'd messaged him in the afternoon but she hadn't heard back yet.

It was a bright night, the lights shone through Kate's curtain but the room became lighter when her phone lit up.

_R: 'Just looked at phone, sorry if you're asleep. Wrote all day, leaving in the morning. Get Gotham ready'_

_K_: _'Just crawled into bed. Why you coming home early?'_

_R: 'Because my company left me high and dry and after last night, this place is depressing alone. If you see Detective. Beckett tell her she owes me ;) Have a great sleep, Kate. x'_

_K: 'I'll let her know if I see her. Night. xx'_

-x-

It was a four days before they caught a break on the case. Esposito and Ryan were out following the only lead they had when they caught the suspect in the middle of hunting his next victims.

Kate walked out of the precinct, heading for her apartment but she turned the other way, heading for Rick's instead. She didn't know why? instinct? Want? Need?

"Hi." She said shyly as Rick opened the door. It was close to dinner time and she'd shown up unannounced.

She had talked to Rick on the phone a few times, late night conversation and in the morning she barely could remember talking to him.

He smiled before stepping out of the door and kissing her.

"Hi." He said quietly, kissing her again.

"Dad! Who is it?"

Rick grabbed her hand, pulling Kate inside.

"It's Kate." Rick smiled, pushing her towards the girl.

Alexis smiled up to her, getting ready to run when she realized she was covered in paint and halted only a foot from Kate's white cashmere sweater.

"Whoa, what are you doing all covered in paint?" Kate asked.

"We have to study an artwork for school and replicate it. Dad brought me paints and we're going to take pictures." Alexis said, taking Kate's hand and tugging her into the lounge.

Kate looked to Rick for confirmation and he nodded, following close behind.

In the lounge there was massive pieces of paper hung from the ceiling with paint thrown all over it.

"Guess who I'm studying?" Alexis asked, looking up at Kate.

Kate froze. This was one of those moments where she could get it right or she could get it really, really wrong and hurt Alexis' feelings.

"Uhh…let me get a better look." Kate asked, standing behind Alexis and eyeballing Rick. He just laughed, shaking his head and not giving her any clues.

"Jackson Pollock?" Kate asked, worried that the obvious answer would be completely wrong and it was instead Manet or Cezanne.

"YES!" Alexis squealed, "This one is all about mistaken identity and identity theft." Alexis smiled up at Kate.

"Wow." Kate breathed out, looking back at the painting.

"We can have help, do you want to help?" Alexis asked, suddenly shy.

"If your Dad doesn't mind, sure."

"He's cooking dinner so that works." Alexis smiled again.

Rick took down the finished one and hung two more pieces of paper up, "There you go."

Kate followed Rick into his office, "Are you sure you don't mind me being here? I didn't even ring and tell you I was coming, I just walked here without even thinking. I can go."

"Kate, don't be silly. I love you came here, you're always welcome. You're staying for dinner too." He smiled, kissed her nose, handed her one of his t shirts and shorts, "You'll need these. It gets really messy."

-x-

"Dinner." Rick called and Alexis and Kate walked into the kitchen.

"Oh. my. God. Look at the two of you." Rick laughed, eyeing up Kate and Alexis.

There was paint all over them. Head to toe, completely covered.

Alexis smiled, "We did a really awesome one dad, it's all about finding love. It was Kate's idea."

Rick looked from Alexis to Kate and smiled.

"Let me have a look." He said, walking towards the pair.

They had mixed all different pinks and reds and thrown it on the paper. Kate had to admit it, even she thought it looked good.

"I love it!" Rick kissed Alexis' cheek and she ran towards the bathroom to get cleaned up for dinner.

"Finding love ay?" He asked, leaning in closer to her.

"Yeah, Alexis said that she really loves your pasta. We decided that we'd make a painting about it." Kate laughed.

"You wound me." Rick pouted before kissing Kate.

"I have paint all over me." She giggled, trying to push Rick off her.

"I don't care, I haven't seen you since the Hamptons. Come here." He grabbed her waist, pulling her into him.

The kiss was a kiss of missed moments, missing each other and missing the time they had in the Hamptons.

"I missed you." She said tucked into his neck, her arms wrapped around his waist.

"I missed you more." He kissed the top of her head, leaving his lips lingering.

"Are we going to eat or what?" Alexis stood with her hands on her hips, frowning at the joint couple.

They both laughed, separating from each other.

"Rick, look at you shirt!" Kate exclaimed, shaking her head.

Smudges of pink and red covered his shirt. He simply shrugged and followed Alexis into the kitchen.

-x-

Kate sat on the couch waiting for Rick to put Alexis to bed. She was still wearing his shirt and shorts, the paint now dried.

Rick had carefully taken down their artwork, hanging it in his office for it to dry.

"I should go." Kate yawned as Rick sat down.

"You aren't staying?" He asked frowning.

"I didn't bring anything and I have that thing at Alexis' school tomorrow."

"It doesn't start till eleven, plenty of time for us to take you home and get you changed." Rick was so good at solving the issues regarding her staying.

"I thought you weren't going?" Kate frowned.

"Well, i'm not going to the main event, but I am helping out with the lunch."

"What exactly do I have to do?" Kate asked, she hadn't really talked about it much.

"Nothing, you sit there and Alexis talks about why you are inspirational." Rick shrugged.

"What?" Kate sat up, eyes wide, "I thought I would have to talk or something. Show the kids my badge."

Rick just laughed.

"Rick, she doesn't really know me." Kate stood up, pacing the lounge.

"Kids pick up on things quickly, she read me what she had so far this morning and she's spot on. I helped her with a few things but she did most of it."

"Rick." Kate sighed, sitting back down.

"What? She really likes you Kate, it was her choice. Her decision."

Kate fell back into the couch, covering her eyes.

"I know it seems so sudden to be doing these sorts of things but it just feels right. Don't even go into how cliche that sounded, It hurt to say."

Kate laughed, looking over at Rick who had screwed up is face at his choice of words.

"I've got the weekend off because Captain felt bad. I'll stay tomorrow night." Kate stood, walking towards Rick's room.

"If you're freaking out about tomorrow, don't run away. We'll talk about it more." Rick stood in the doorway watching her change.

"I'm not running away, I swear. I just want to meet you there tomorrow ok, i've got something to do in the morning."

Rick frowned.

"I'm going to see my mom." Kate said, looking towards the ground.

"Kate, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's a happy visit. I need to tell her some things." Kate smiled, kissing him on the cheek as she walked past.

"Like?"

"It's for me to know and you to maybe find out one day." And just like that, she was back to quirky and smiley Kate.

"I can deal with that." He smiled, following her to the door.

"So they do this thing every year?" Kate asked, grabbing her coat.

"Yeah, I've done it a few times, Mother has, even the doorman one year." Rick shrugged helping Kate into her coat.

"What about Alexis' mom?" Kate asked, adjusting her collar.

"Alexis asked her every year, too busy to come out."

"What about this year? Did she ask her?"

"Nope, it was all about Detective Kate Beckett this year. She's quite the fan."

"She's so great." Kate sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

"So are you, thank you for tonight."

Kate looked up to Rick confused, "You're thanking me? I'm the one that crashed your daughters school project and invited myself to dinner."

"Exactly, I'm so glad you did. Feel free to do it every night if you want."

Kate rolled her eyes and stepped out of the door but Rick pulled her back. He grabbed her hand, spun her round and kissed her before she could say another word.

When they broke apart Kate was pressed against the wall, her hands tangled around his neck. His hands under her coat and around her waist.

"I should go." She whispered, her lips an inch from his.

"OK." He said, without moving away from her.

She closed the gap between them, kissing him. A long passionate kiss that neither of them could break. But when she felt his finger slip under her shirt she pushed him away before it was no longer possible to do.

She walked past him, he was pouting.

"Tomorrow." She said, kissing his cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So I know it's a short one but it's late here and I needed to split up this chapter and the next one. The next one just has to stand alone, you'll see why when you read it.**

**I've also had a few requests on what people want to happen in the story and I love it, tell me what you want, I write this for you. **

**Hope you're all having a wonderful week.**

**H**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Kate stood in the cemetery, hands shoved in her pockets, looking down at her Mother's gravestone.

"I know that I haven't been here in awhile, my life has just been so hectic these past few months, I'm sorry."

Kate fell silent, watching the people around her, a man mowing the lawns and a couple talking to another gravestone, just like she was.

"It's just that I met someone when Lanie sent me up to Long Beach for my promotion, it was kind of a whirlwind thing but I met him back in the city out of the blue and even though I hate to admit it, he's completely swept me off my feet, Mom. I'm not that girl that thinks about the guy all day, itching to leave work, staring at the clock, but I have been. I don't know what to think anymore, does this mean something? Dad always tells me I'm just like you. Strong, independent and stubborn,"

Kate chuckled, remembering the times where she would come home late for curfew and her Dad would be telling her off and her Mom would just sit in the chair laughing, waiting for Katie to come closer and tell her how her date went. He would roll his eyes and mutter "You're just like your Mother." before leaving them both to gossip.

"His name is Richard Castle, so don't be surprised if you recognize the name, you are thinking of the author I talk about all the time. He's amazing Mom, so different from every single other person in this world. I don't know how he does it but he seems to make everything better, he just walked right into my life and changed everything, turned everything completely upside down and inside out and I'm not even bothered. He has a daughter named Alexis, she is the most perfect ten-year-old you could imagine Mom, she's so gorgeous and confident. I'm going to introduce them to Dad, he needs some light in his life again, needs something to hold onto again."

Kate dropped to her knees, hands still in her pockets, sitting right in front of her Mother's name.

"I wish you were here, I wish you could meet them and we could go for dinner or play boardgames together, I miss those things with you, just the normal things that families do everyday. I can see you face now, sitting across the dinner table at Rick's loft, raising an eyebrow at me to signal that he was a good catch or you and I taking out Alexis to go shopping."

Kate couldn't hold it in any longer, tears streaming down her face, hiccups, tightness in her chest.

"I miss you so much Mom, sometimes I can't breathe because I miss you so much. Everything hurts and I used to think nothing would ever heal the pain of loosing you, that nothing would ever fix me, that I was going to be lost forever but then I hear Alexis laugh or Rick smiles at me because he hasn't seen me for a few days and I wonder if this is what it feels like to be whole again, to want to give love and receive it back."

Kate wiped her tears away, starting to smile as she reached out, tracing the letters of her Mother's name.

"There will always be a part missing Mom, a part that will never be full again. But at this moment, on this day, I'm happy Mom, happier than I've been in years and I wanted to share it with you, I want you to be apart of it because you are still everywhere I look. Even when I look in the mirror, I can see you. I think about what you would be thinking and how you would fix it."

She kissed her index finger and placed it on the J of her Mother's name. Holding it there whilst she closed her eyes, "I'm never going to let you go, I'm never going to miss you any less that I can but I can smile at the same time now Mom, I can do both things."

Kate smiled again. Her finger still tracing the J.

"I love you Mom."

She stood, not looking back, hands back in her pocket, walking in the direction of her apartment.

-x-

She climbed the stairs, needing time to think about everything.

She always was over thinking. It was her thing.

"Detective Beckett." She heard someone call and she turned to see Mrs Harvey, the super standing at the bottom of the stairwell.

"Yes?" Kate smiled, turning on the step and looking down at the woman.

"A man came to drop something off in your apartment, you weren't home but he had one of those faces you recognize, one where you know that he wont do any harm. I hope you don't mind."

Kate smiled and thanked the lady, telling her it was fine.

She climbed the stairs two at a time, mind racing.

She almost fell through the door, eyes in search of what the mystery man had brought over.

"Rick…" She whispered when she saw a large rectangle package leaning against the chair. It was wrapped in brown paper with a note attached to the top corner. It came up to her hip as she stood next to it.

Her jacket hit the ground, shoes flung off as she knelt down to it.

It was huge, a few inches thick, wrapped perfectly.

She tore off the card, held it in her hands before opening it.

_'I wanted to give you this now, because it's clear you hold ours.'_

Kate sat there frowning, what on earth could the man be talking about.

She dug her nail in the corner and pulled the paper down.

There in a black frame was the painting Alexis and her had done at the loft the day before, her school project on Jackson Pollock and they called it 'finding love.'

What did this mean?

Did he love her?

Did Alexis love her?

Kate was smiling, sitting cross-legged, staring up at this painting that wasn't even a day old yet.

This feeling was so new, so great and scary at the same time. Everything was spinning, everything was on high alert.

Her phone buzzed bringing her out of her mind.

"Hey." Rick said softly down the phone.

Kate just smiled, "Hey yourself, so there is this pig painting in my apartment. Do you know who is reasonable for doing this?" she teased.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Detective." He joked, relaxing into the conversation.

"Damn, I wanted to have my way with him."

"It was me, I did it." Rick said seriously and Kate laughed.

"You think you can find your way back to the cupboard you hid in at Alexis' school later?" Kate said, twirling her hair in her fingers.

"Don't. Go there. Kate." He growled into the phone and Kate laughed.

"You are too easy you know that?" She asked.

"Sorry what? I'm still thinking about the two of us in that cupboard."

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Rick." She joked, pulling her coat back on.

"You put it there, I reckon I could find it again. We could sneak off for a bit." Rick said, leaning into the phone, trying to get his watch on.

"Rick, seriously, we are not doing that at your daughters school."

"You brought it up, So what do you think?"

"I think that it's the most amazing thing anyone has done for me and I'm so thankful to have you in my life." Kate said, the words falling from her mouth without even thinking about them.

"Well, I'm glad, I didn't want to be too forward but it seemed right." Rick smiled into the phone.

"This whole relationship has been forward." Kate laughed, chucking her keys back in her bag.

"I know, seriously I know. Which is weird for the both of us but I think we're doing fine?" There was a hint of need in his voice, a question, he needed Kate to tell him that everything he was feeling, regardless of the short time they had been together, that she was feeling it too, that it wasn't just him jumping into this blind, she was there with him.

"I think we are just fine." Kate stopped, looking back at the painting.

Perfectly fine.

She could hear the relaxation in his voice as soon as he spoke, "Please tell me that you'll stay tonight?"

There was still a little bit of need in his voice but Kate liked it. Liked that he needed her.

Kate froze in the door way, completely forgetting that she said she would stay tonight.

"Yeah, I'm just grabbing my bag now." She dashed down the hallway, pulling a bag down from the top shelf of her wardrobe.

She could hear him talking to Alexis, saying that Kate liked the painting and she could hear Alexis squeal in the background.

"She's pretty excited about today, she's been going over her speech all morning." Rick said excitedly.

"I'm so nervous." Kate said quietly, stopping the clothes flying into the bag for just a second.

"Don't be, seriously don't be nervous. You'll love it."

"I'll see you in half an hour?" She said, pulling the bag over her shoulder.

"You wont see me until after all the speeches, but I'll be there."

The phone line went dead.

-x-

Kate sat in the hall, waiting for Alexis' speech. So far she'd heard about half of the class speak. She was sitting close to the back, she was a few minutes late and didn't really want to be way up the front, she could already tell that this was going to be hard.

Alexis walked onto stage, her hair bouncing as she walked up to the microphone completely at ease and confident.

One poor boy had to leave the stage because of nerves, Kate felt horrible as she watched him cry in the wings of the stage. It took him a few minutes and the teacher brought him back out, held his hand and read his speech for him about his Dad being in the Army.

Kate's eyes had teared up, what was it about kids and her emotions lately?

"I haven't known Detective Kate Beckett all that long, only a few months but when I met her, I knew that she would change everything. You see, I think my Dad loves her and he'd probably be pretty at me for outing him but I just did."

The crowd laughed and Kate had to smile up to Alexis, rolling her eyes.

Her heart starting to race.

"I think he loves her because she is so inspirational and that's why I love her too."

Kate choked on her breath.

"Dad told me this story about Kate's Mom, her name was Johanna and she was killed."

The crowd went completely silent and Kate felt the wind get kicked out of her.

"They never found the person who did it and even though that makes Kate really sad, she goes to work as one of New York's finest everyday to help bring closure to other families.

Kate works as a detective at the 12th precinct and everyday she gets cases and solves them so those families can sleep at night.

When my Dad told me she was a cop, I wasn't too sure about it, aren't they usually people that eat donuts and chase people with sirens?"

The crowd laughed again, all transfixed on Alexis' speech.

"I was totally wrong, she is so nice. She happily talks and plays with me even though my Dad stands in the doorway frowning at having to share her."

Kate laughed at that one, seeing Rick's face in her mind.

"I just hope that one day, when I grow up, Kate might still be there to teach me how to do it all. If I ever get hurt, how to bring myself out of it and become someone that people are proud of, how to look at life in the way she does and be able to smile when I'm sad. That is why Kate Beckett is inspirational to me."

Alexis smiled and people stood and clapped as she bounced off the stage.

Kate felt a hand on the small of her back and she turned. Rick stood there, his eyes red, making the blue intensify.

He took her hand, leading her out of the door, down the corridor until it was silent. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, burying her face in his neck, fighting back the tears.

They stood in silence for a minute, Kate not letting go at all and never wanting to.

"I hope you're not mad at me about telling her about your Mother." Rick said silently.

Kate felt like her chest was being crushed with every type of emotion. Happy, sad, hurt, grief, love but not mad.

She leaned back, becoming face to face with him. The matching reddened eyes staring at each other.

"I'm not mad." She said quietly, whispering for only him to hear.

"What did you think of her speech?" He asked, moving a piece of hair from her face.

"I have never felt so exposed in my entire life but in a good way, god Rick, she doesn't miss anything does she?"

They both smiled, still looking at each other.

"Dad?" They heard and turned, Alexis stood in the hallway, holding her school bag and smiling at the joint couple.

"Hey pumpkin, get over here."

Alexis walked slowly to the couple, trying to gage Kate's reaction from her speech.

Kate broke away from Rick, turning to Alexis, dropping to her knees and hugging the girl tightly. Rick's hand squeezing her shoulder for comfort and at that moment, she knew it would never get better than this. This is what she wanted. She didn't want to ever give this up.

"That was so beautiful Alexis, thank you so much." Kate said into Alexis' hair, not willing to let the girl go just yet.

"I was scared that you wouldn't like it, that it was too much."

Kate let Alexis go, looking right into her eyes and smiling.

"It was so perfect, I couldn't have asked for anything else."

And she hugged her again.

-x-

"She asleep?" Kate asked as Rick sat down on the couch next to her, picking up her feet and laying them across his lap.

"Out. Didn't even finish the second page." Rick smiled.

"It's been a draining day."

Rick just looked at her, really looking at her.

"What?" She asked, frowning at his intense stare.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" She asked, leaning back against the couch.

"Do your job, catch those suspects all with your Mothers case still cold."

Kate took a breath. Closing her eyes and looking away from him.

"It's my job and every time I get to give families closure, it makes it easier. I know that her murder will be solved one day and I'll feel the same way but for right now, I'm enjoying my life. I'm enjoying this." She took his hand and squeezed it.

Rick nodded, carefully thinking about her answer.

"What happens if it never gets solved? Will this be enough?" He asked, holding up their joined hands.

"It will be." She smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone, first update of the year! woohoo<strong>

**Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and amazing New Years (Some of you will still be celebrating the latter but over here in NZ, it's late night New Years Day so all the fun is over for us)**

**I really hope you like this chapter, tell me what you think?**

**H**


	16. Chapter 16

Kate walked from her bathroom into the kitchen. Her phone was vibrating on the bench flashing seven missed called from Rick.

"Hello?" Kate answered, worried about the high number of missed calls from him, usually he would just leave a message and wait for her to get back to him.

"Kate! Where have you been?" Rick asked, his voice out of breath.

"Showering, what's wrong?" Kate had already grabbed her bag and was out the door.

"Nits."

"What?" Kate stopped on the stairwell.

"Alexis has head lice. Give me vomit, poo, the flu, anything but nits. Kate, they freak me out. I can't deal."

Kate had to smile, she could tell he was pacing the room, his voice was rugged.

"I'll be there soon." Kate clicked her phone closed and took the stairs two at a time.

-x-

Rick basically dragged her through the door when she knocked on it.

"You've been ages!" He said, frowning at her.

Kate rolled her eyes, "I needed this." She raised a plastic bag, holding the entire selection from the drug store on head lice care.

"Nits, Kate, Oh my God." Rick spun in a circle, it was like this was the beginning of World War Three.

"Don't called them nits, that's not going to help Alexis. Go." Kate pointed to the office and Rick frowned.

"But…"

"No, you're going to freak her out more. This happens, I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. You need to stay in there until I come out." Kate pushed at his shoulder.

"Kate…"

"Go." Kate's voiced changed into her authority voice, as she pointed at his office.

She climbed the stairs quietly, leaving the bag in the bathroom and heading for Alexis' room.

She knocked and opened the door, "Hey." She said, smiling at the girl.

Alexis was siting on a chair by the window, her hair was tied up and she looked so ashamed. Kate could remember coming home from school with a note saying she, and the rest of her class had head lice. It went around every year without fail. Kate managed to only ever have it once. She remembered her mom giving her a hug, telling her to wait in the bathroom and going out to the store immediately. Her dad smiled at her and told her, "Every kid gets it, Katie, don't worry about it." But she did worry, it was this awful thing, a horrible thing for a ten year-old to have.

"Did Dad tell you I have nits?" Alexis asked, looking at Kate.

Kate nodded, walking into her room and siting on the bed next to Alexis' chair.

"That's why I'm here, I'm going to get rid of them for you." Kate smiled, trying to make the situation easier.

"They freak him out," Alexis smiled a bit, "He never said but I could tell."

"Your dad is such a baby sometimes." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Will you make them all go away?" Alexis asked, her face screwed up at the thought.

"I'll try my best, I bought all the stuff and if we don't get them all, we'll do it again."

"OK…." Alexis' voice was quiet, she was horrified, just like Kate had been all those years ago.

"I got you a surprise too," Kate smiled, and Alexis looked over to her, "It's in the bathroom, something to play with when you're in the bath."

Kate suddenly realized that she would have to wash and comb Alexis' hair in the bath, she'd never given her a bath, the girl was ten. She tried to remember if her mom still washed her hair at ten, but it was fuzzy.

Alexis pulled her shirt off, and undid her jeans. Clearly Kate was far too worried about this.

"Here," Kate handed Alexis a packet of glitter bath pens, she had talked about them a week ago at dinner but Rick refused to get her them, "Don't tell your dad, ok?" Kate smiled.

"Thanks Kate." Alexis went to hug Kate but stopped and pointed to her hair.

"You can hug me later." Kate smiled, turning the tap on and putting in the plug. The bath was huge, deep and big enough for a small army. Kate was trying to figure out how she was going to wash Alexis' hair when she an idea.

"Hop in and I'll be back in a second." Kate smiled.

She ran down the stairs, into the office and straight past Rick into his room. Grabbed one of his longest shirts and pulled her own shirt off, then her jeans. This shirt was long, almost to her knees. It would be easier to wash Alexis' hair if she sat on the side of the bath.

Rick stood in the doorway watching Kate change, "How bad?" Rick asked, his face screwed up.

"Honestly, you're going to scar your daughter." Kate shook her head, kissing his cheek as she walked past him.

-x-

Kate washed Alexis' hair with the special shampoo twice, just to make sure. She put the treatment on and sat against the wall. Alexis was happily drawing on the side of the bath with the pens, laughing when the water washed away her picture and starting again. That was clearly a good purchase and Kate smiled to herself for remembering.

"Did you ever have head lice?" Alexis asked, looking up to Kate.

"Once," Kate smiled, "Everyone does."

"Did your mom get rid of them for you?" Alexis asked, putting the pen on the side of the bath.

"Yeah she did."

"My mom is never here, she lives in LA and never visits."

"Does it bother you that she isn't here?" Kate asked, not wanting to pry but she had barely heard Alexis talk about her mother.

"It used to, I used to wonder why she didn't live here but I have dad and grams," Alexis shrugged her shoulders, "Now, you're here too."

Kate almost fell in the bath with Alexis.

"Dads other girlfriends were boring, they never asked to play. Just wanted to go out with dad, have dinner and go to parties. But you come over and play with me, it's nice."

"Well, I'm glad. I like being here." Kate smiled.

Where had her life taken her? A few short months and she was washing nit shampoo from her boyfriends child's head.

Kate drained some of the water and added fresh new warm water. "OK, this stuff has to stay in for twenty minutes, I'm going to go and take all your sheets off and wash them. Don't let the water touch it, it needs to stay on there." Kate smiled as Alexis happily drew on the side of the bath.

Kate pulled all her sheets and blankets off Alexis' bed, picked her clothes from the ground she had been wearing, grabbed the stuffed animals in her bed and headed for the laundry.

Kate blow-dried Alexis' hair and straightened it with her hair straighteners just in case she missed any live ones in the bath, knowing the heat would kill them. She put Alexis hair into tiny sections and picked up the nit comb, this was where it hurt.

"This might hurt a little." Kate said, pulling the toothed comb through the girls hair. Alexis barely flinched when the comb dragged on an egg. It took nearly two hours to do all of Alexis' hair, Kate was making sure that she got every single one.

"All done." Kate smiled, putting the comb in the sink.

Alexis was sleepy, this whole thing had taken three hours.

"You should sleep in the spare room tonight Alexis, just so if there are any in your room they die before they can get back in your hair." Kate smiled, pulling Alexis' hair into a ponytail and praying some prevention spray on, just in case.

"Good idea." Alexis smiled, following Kate out of the bathroom.

They walked down the hall, Kate had never seen this far down before. Martha's door was closed, she away for the week at an audition in LA. Alexis pushed the spare room door open, the room was bigger than Kate's own bedroom in her apartment.

Alexis climbed into the big bed, getting tireder by the second. "Say goodnight to dad for me please."

Kate nodded, pulling the blankets up around Alexis' shoulders.

"Thank you Kate, you're really kind to do this." Alexis sat back up and hugged Kate.

"It's ok," Kate felt that stab of emotion again, "Now you need some sleep."

Kate flicked the light off and left the door open a bit and went back to the bathroom. It looked like a bomb had hit it, she gathered up all the products she had brought and put them in the bottom drawer of the vanity just in case, she threw the bath pens in the plastic box they came in and put them in the drawer too, away from where Rick could see. She sprayed cleaning spray over the entire bath and washed away any remaining evidence of what they had done that day.

She sat next to the dryer in the laundry, waiting for Alexis' sheets to be done. They had another nine minutes and Kate couldn't be bothered going back down the stairs.

-x-

"Kate." Rick said quietly.

Kate opened her eyes, her neck was sore.

"What?" She asked, not really registering what was happening.

"You're asleep in the laundry." Rick laughed, he was leaning over her.

Kate sat back up, she had fallen asleep next to the dryer.

"Come on." Rick pulled at Kate's hands and lifted her up.

"The washing." Kate said, turning back to the dryer.

"It can wait until morning." Rick smiled, pulling her by her waist out the door.

They walked in silence to his room, he'd already changed and pulled the cover down. Kate basically fell into the bed, not realizing how tired she really was.

"Can we talk?" Rick asked, his voice wasn't serious but it still alarmed Kate.

"Sleep." She managed to say, her head hitting the pillow.

Rick laughed, "You've had a long day, you sleep." He kissed her on the cheek and let her sleep.

-x-

"Good morning." Rick said when Kate opened her eyes.

"Hi." Kate closed her eyes again. It was too bright, she knew it was early, a little after five maybe.

"Good sleep?" he asked, brushing the hair from her face.

"Neck is sore." She frowned.

"That's because you were asleep against the dryer for an hour." Rick was laughing.

"Embarrassing." Kate smiled.

"It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen." Rick laid down next to Kate, sharing her pillow. He draped his hand over her side and held tight.

"Can we talk now?" Rick asked.

Kate nodded, not sure what was going to happen next.

"Yesterday I rung you freaking out because my child had nits."

Kate frowned at him.

"Head lice. Sorry. You went and brought all the stuff, came over here and took over. Banished me away and looked after my child. Put her to bed, washed all her sheets and I found you sleeping next to the dryer, waiting for them to finish. Kate, that is something that I never thought I would have again, I never wanted to share Alexis with anyone because I was afraid she would get hurt, that no one would understand her or take care of her the way I do, but yesterday, you proved me wrong. You were a parent yesterday and I know it freaks you out a bit but I wanted to thank you, seriously Kate, yesterday you saved me." Rick kissed her, it was a different kind of kiss, a kiss people share when they're in love.

Kate felt a ton of things all at once, "She talked about Meredith and how she doesn't live here. She said it was ok because you and Martha were here, then she said that I was here and she was glad because I play with her."

Rick was smiling.

"I can't imagine how Meredith isn't here, I sat on the bath yesterday thinking about how my mother did this for me and Meredith isn't here to do it and she could be. It was gross but still, it's a part of your child's life and she wasn't here," Kate closed her eyes, trying not to cry, "Alexis is perfect, why isn't she here?"

"I've stopped asking myself that question, I can't anymore for Alexis' sake." Rick's voice was somber.

"I put her in the guest room, so if there were any in her room, they'd die before they could reattach." She felt Rick convulse next to her.

"Why does it freak you out?" Kate laughed, resting her hands on his chest.

"I have no idea, it's always been a thing though, I took Alexis out of school for a week when they went around last time. Their little eyes and legs." Rick shuddered, "Freaks me out, Kate, seriously."

"You're a baby," She rolled her eyes at him, "I did something bad." Kate looked to Rick.

"What?"

"I brought Alexis those bath pens you wouldn't let her have. I thought it would be a good distraction and I swear they didn't leave any marks."

Rick laughed.

"That is the least of my concerns, and it was good thinking. Sometimes it is like good cop and bad cop, but parenting style. Last night you got to be good cop." He shrugged before kissing her nose.

Kate sat their silently.

"Did I freak you out?" He asked, his voice was quiet and he leaned closer.

She looked at him, he could tell when he pushed it too far and this entire conversation had basically been about how Kate acted liked a parent and did a good job.

"No." She said, lying.

"Do you want kids?" Rick asked, taking this conversation an entire step further into darkness.

"I always wanted them, then everything happened with my mom and I thought that I wouldn't be good at it, I wouldn't know how to be a mom. What if something happened to me and I left my child the way she left me? It's not something I have given thought to at all since she died." Kate's honestly was brutal, she even stunned herself by saying it.

"Kate, you would be an amazing mother, yesterday shows that. You job is dangerous but you can't let that get in the way of having a family." Rick was sincere.

When Kate didn't reply Rick took her face in his hands, "We do what we can for family, we try our hardest and do the best we can with what we are given. I give Alexis my all, she is everything to me but I'm not perfect, yesterday I had to ring you to come over and deal with head lice, but today, I'll give her everything I can and I can see you one day being the same. Don't let your past predict what happens in your future Kate, you need to live it for yourself."

He wiped a tear away from her cheek with his thumb, kissing her gently.

The office door opened and they could both hear the patter of small feet on the ground.

"Dad?" Alexis called out and Rick sat up.

"Hey Pumpkin, come here."

Alexis climbed into the bed between Kate and Rick.

"Morning." Kate smiled, as Alexis snuggled into her, not even hugging Rick.

"Head itchy?" Kate asked and Rick tried to not make a face.

"Nope." Alexis beamed, smiling.

"Excellent." Kate ran her fingers through Alexis' hair comforting her and doing a check without her noticing.

"Dad?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah."

"Can Kate stay here forever?" Alexis asked, innocently.

Rick and Kate made eyes at each other, she had the most perfect of timing.

"Maybe one day, but sweetie, Kate knows that she is always welcome here and she has her job and other things in her life too. Maybe we'll be lucky enough one day and I'll persuade her to move in." Rick smiled at Alexis and then at Kate.

"Just don't offer to buy her a pony."

Kate and Rick laughed at what Alexis said. She knew her father well. Rick leaned over Alexis and kissed Kate on the lips, a soft kiss.

"Go back to sleep." Rick said to her, and she didn't need much more telling.

-x-

Kate woke again when Alexis kicked her in her sleep. Her eyes opened and she looked over, Rick was gone and Alexis was cuddled next to her, arms around Kate's side.

The bedroom door was closed, Rick must have closed it when he woke.

Kate gently removed Alexis' arms from around her, the girl didn't even stir. She slipped the door open quietly, watching to see if Alexis would wake.

"Hi." She said, wrapping her arms around Rick, who was siting at the counter on his laptop.

"Hey you," He reached behind, pulling her into a hug, "Good sleep?" He asked, kissing her forehead.

"Apart from your child kicking me, it was good." Kate laughed.

"Yeah, she does that. Always have."

"What are you doing?" Kate asked, leaning against Rick's chest.

"Reading the news, boring."

"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" Kate asked, wondering if she will get to spend it with the two of them.

"I was thinking of taking Alexis out, she was stuck inside most of yesterday, maybe to the park. We could have a picnic?" Rick asked, asking for approval from Kate.

"Sounds great. Coffee." She answered, walking around to the other side of the kitchen and flicking the machine on. Rick was smiling at her.

"What?" She asked, frowning.

"Nothing." He laughed, acting completely innocent.

"What?" She asked again, this time smiling.

"I just don't think you're going to take much persuading, that's all." He winked at her and smiled.

She didn't respond, she knew he was right. If he asked her, she probably would move into the loft that day but she knew that she still needed time before she could commit to something that major.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone,<strong>

**Sorry this took so long! Had so much work and family weddings on every weekend. **

**Hope you like this chapter, it was fun to write even though my head got super itchy thinking about headlice. Ew.**

**Until next time!**

**Hannah**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen.

Kate walked out of the precinct after a long and tedious day to find Rick and Alexis patiently sitting on the steps outside.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, Alexis already wrapping her arms around Kate's middle.

"Alexis had her last violin lesson and she wanted to wait till you finished, I thought you'd finish around now because you said you had no case." Rick shrugged, leaning in and giving Kate a kiss on the cheek.

Kate felt horrible, they should have just come up but because of her and her silly issues with mixing her lives, they had waited outside in the cold.

"I'm sorry, you should have rung." She said, feeling horrible.

"It's fine, Kate." Rick smiled, knowing exactly what was going through her head.

"Are you going to come home for dinner?" Alexis asked, finally pulling away from Kate.

Come home for dinner.

Home.

"I, uh, I was going to but I was going to grab a few things first." Kate said, still holding onto Alexis.

Alexis smiled up to Kate and then to Rick.

"Come on then, we can stop at your apartment on the way." Alexis said, tugging on Kate's hand.

Both Kate and Rick laughed at Alexis, letting her lead the way.

-x-

The loft was a complete tip, books and toys were scattered everywhere.

Kate raised an eyebrow at Rick.

"It was a long day." Rick sighed, looking over to Alexis who has brought yet another toy downstairs.

"Why wasn't she at school? I checked her hair and all the head lice is gone." Kate asked, pulling a soft toy from the couch before sitting down.

"I know, they had senior day at school, like a leaving lunch for them so she only had to go for the morning because she's still in the junior part. I was writing in my office and I underestimated how many toys she could bring down here in an hour." Rick laughed, looking around the loft.

"She excited for the holidays?" Kate asked, pulling her feet up on the couch.

"Yes and no, she doesn't want to come to San Francisco with me. She asked if she could stay behind instead." Rick sat down next to Kate, pulling her legs onto his. His hand caressing her bare ankle.

"Stay with Martha?" Kate asked, looking up the stairs and wondering she had returned from Los Angeles yet.

"No, Mother is still away in Los Angeles, will be for at least a month. Alexis asked if she could stay here with you." Rick smiled, squeezing Kate's ankle.

"What?" Kate asked, turning her focus to Rick.

He nodded, "Yeah, asked if you could stay with her here and I go off to San Francisco alone." He pouted.

"What did you say?" She asked, looking back to Alexis and watching her play with two dolls under the stairs.

"I told her that you have to work and I had already organized her trip. She's spending the week with her mother, Meredith rang and said she would be in San Francisco when we were and asked to take Alexis for the week." Rick said, cautiously.

Kate felt a stab of jealousy and a blow of anger.

"That sounds nice." She lied, looking back to Rick.

"You don't have to lie." He said, running his fingers up the inside of her pant leg.

"It's just. I just." Kate covered her face with her hands.

"I know." Rick smiled.

"I've only known her for six months and yet I don't want her to go with her. What if she lets her down? Doesn't turn up at all? Rick, I don't like her." Kate frowned and Rick pulled her feet down so that Kate was sitting next to him, his arms secured around her middle.

"I love that you care so much." He whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek when he finished talking.

Kate watched Alexis playing before she turned to Rick.

"You know how I said to you when she had her birthday party that I couldn't help you hide the bodies. I'll help you hide Meredith is she hurts her."

Rick laughed, changing the entire atmosphere back to light and fun.

"That was really sexy, I'm conjuring up images of you in a superhero outfit." He smiled, kissing her neck.

"Rick." Kate groaned after a moment, pushing Rick's mouth away from her neck.

"Mmhmm." He answered, pouting up at her.

"Your child is just over there, you can't be doing that sort of thing." She said quietly, looking back to Alexis who hadn't moved.

"Can't handle yourself?" He asked, slipping his hand under her shirt.

"Rick." She frowned, moving away from the couch.

"Kate, come back." Rick moaned, looking over the back of the sofa.

"Not until you learn to play fair." She announced, walking into his office.

-x-

Kate hung her clothes over the chair so they wouldn't be crumpled for work the following day.

"You can hang them in the wardrobe, I'm pretty sure my clothes don't bite." Rick laughed, walking into the room and flopping down on the bed.

"They're fine." She shrugged, throwing the empty bag on the floor by the door.

"I cleared you a drawer in the bathroom, thought you'd want it for all your girly stuff."

"Girly stuff, Rick? Seriously?" Kate laughed.

"What? I thought you'd want it." Rick sat up looking puzzled.

"I do, thank you. Me and my girly stuff really appreciate it." Kate smiled, kissing his cheek before going into the bathroom.

This was big. Drawers and wardrobe space for her.

Kate was thinking about when Rick was joking about how easy it would be to convince her to move in the other night.

"What you thinking about?" He asked, leaning in the doorframe.

"Dinner, I'm starving." She smiled, walking back past him into the bedroom.

"Liar." He joked, following her out.

She just ignored him, walking through into the lounge to find Alexis.

-x-

"I've got something to ask you." Rick said, putting the last of the dishes away.

"What?" Kate asked, turning to face him, tea towel in hand.

"When we go away next week, would you just come and check the place out a few times? It should be fine but having a writers mind doesn't help in these situations."

Kate smiled, "Of course."

"Thanks, you can stay if you want. It's up to you." He shrugged his shoulders, closing the cabinet and making his way to the couch.

"Stay?" She asked, standing by the dining room table.

"Yeah."

"Without you here?" She asked, slightly confused by his statement.

"Yes, Kate, without us here. What's the big deal?" He asked, turning to face her.

"I get checking on things but why would I stay?"

"I don't know, maybe because it is closer to the precinct than your apartment or it's late when you come to check on everything and you just crash. It's not a big deal."

"I know, but this is just so new to me."

Rick smiled, "And maybe you'll miss me so much that you just have to sleep with my pillow." He joked.

"That's the answer that I thought you were going to come out with."

"Glad to know that I don't disappoint you." He laughed, patting the seat next to him.

She obliged, sitting down next to him. This was their normal routine after Alexis went to sleep. He'd put in a movie and she'd fall asleep in the first half, he'd carry her to bed and she would always wake up when he turned the bathroom light on. She'd smile as he came out only in his boxer shorts and they'd be kissing before he could take another step. She never took pajamas to the loft, she never needed them. Her clothes would be off before they fell back onto the bed. She'd wake in the morning with his shirt on, sprawled across him.

Tonight would be no exception.

-x-

The rest of the week went by fast, Kate barely spent anytime at the loft due to a major case and she knew both Rick and Alexis weren't happy about it.

They had managed some lunches and one dinner together.

"I'm sorry." She said when Rick opened the door on Friday night.

"It's fine." He said, letting her walk past.

"Alexis still up?" Kate asked, looking around the loft.

"Went up to bed about half an hour ago, she wasn't happy." Rick flicked the tea towel over his shoulder.

"I was all set to leave at five when the boys managed to find our suspect, brought him in for interrogation. We got a confession and then had to sign off on the paperwork, I didn't realize how late it was until I could leave."

She was supposed to come for dinner, Alexis had asked because the next day both her and Rick were flying off to San Francisco for a week.

"I know how it goes but Alexis doesn't." He shrugged, walking back into the kitchen.

Kate watched him in the kitchen for a moment before making her way up the stairs. He wasn't angry at her, just sad that she couldn't make it. She was angry at herself though, how could she do this?

"Hey, good book?" She said quietly walking into Alexis' room.

Alexis put down the book she was reading and looked up at Kate, not bothering to answer her question.

"I'm sorry, Alexis, I didn't mean to be so late. Your dad said you aren't happy about it, I feel really bad." Kate said, sitting on the side of the bed.

"I'm not mad, I just thought you'd want to come because you wont get to see us for a whole week." Alexis sighed.

"I really wanted to come and I was all set to when two of the other detectives brought in a suspect."

"Why couldn't they deal with it?" Alexis asked, looking up to Kate.

"Because we're a team. The three of us are partners and we have to do these sort of things together." Kate tried to explain.

"Well, I think you should get your own partner so sometimes you can have a night off." Alexis smiled up at Kate.

"That could work." Kate laughed at Alexis' simple answer to the problem.

"Read to me?" She asked, holding up her book.

Kate nodded, climbing onto the bed and getting under the covers with Alexis. She never thought dating someone with a kid could work so easily, so perfectly. Maybe the three of them were an exception, it can never be this good can it? Can people fit into other peoples lives so easily?

"Kate." She heard quietly and she opened her eyes, immediately confused with her surroundings.

"Hi." She said to Rick, stretching her arms.

She looked down to Alexis, who was fast asleep next to her, arms tightly wrapped around Kate's middle.

"Fell asleep reading." Kate said quietly looking back to Rick.

He was smiling at them both and shaking his head.

"What?" She asked, resting her head on her hand, careful not to disturb Alexis.

"I love how you just fall asleep, I swear this place makes you sleepy." Rick smiled.

"Don't remind me." She rolled her eyes.

"Want me to move her so you can come downstairs?" He asked.

Kate leaned over and pulled the blanket down next to her.

"I still feel bad, can we stay?"

Rick walked around to the other side, happy that he ended up getting Alexis a queen sized bed.

He had changed into his pajama pants and still had his t-shirt on from today.

"Having a slumber party with my daughter was not the way I thought I'd be spending tonight." He laughed, letting his hand roam under her shirt. Alexis' hands were wrapped around her middle so decided that he could have her hip for his hand to rest on.

"You're only gone for a week." Kate sighed.

"That's seven nights without you and I barely saw you this week." Rick whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Don't, I already feel bad." Kate closed her eyes.

"I don't want to make you feel bad, I know it's your job, I knew that when I met you," He smiled into her hair, "Well actually you refused to tell me what you did when we met but I found out eventually."

Kate laughed and Alexis stirred next to her.

"You'll wake her up, stop making me laugh" Kate growled playfully.

"Sorry, I just had to say it." He laughed quietly.

"Of course you did." She rolled her eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes?" Rick asked.

"No."

"You did so, I can tell when you're about to do it." Rick said proudly.

"Go to sleep." She demanded.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone,<strong>

**So I got a wonderful review from one of you and it seriously touched my heart. So I'm dedicating the last chapter and basically this entire story to _Angelaandrews_ because even when we lose one of our lights, there will always be another one that will help us find our way.**

**Hope you all enjoy the chapter, the next one is going to seriously rock the boat.**

**Love Hannah.**

**ps. Big cuddles to all of you Chuck fans, so sad that it's over. **


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen.

"Hey." Kate said down the phone when Rick answered. She was on her way to work after having the morning off.

It was early on the West Coast, she knew it but she had missed his call from the night before and really wanted to talk to him. They had managed to keep in contact throughout the four days he had been gone and he'd always ring when she was just about to fall asleep. They would talk about nothing, laugh at everything, he'd tell her the story of what Meredith had done that day with Alexis and then finally he'd tell her to get some sleep. They'd hang up and she'd lay there thinking about how she wished she was there with him.

"Morning, hi." He answered, clearly still half asleep.

"Sorry it's so early, I just wanted to talk to you before you I go into work."

"It's fine, how's my city?" He asked.

"She's cold this morning, looking good though." She answered, crossing the road.

"How's my girl this morning?"

Kate smiled, gosh she missed him so much already.

"She's fine, tired and have a headache but mostly good." She answered truthfully.

"Kate, you seriously cannot be still tired? I rung you at nine last night, your time, and you were already asleep."

Yeah, he was awake now.

"It's because before you my body didn't know what a sleep in was, and now it needs all this extra sleep because it's been missing out on it all this time." She joked.

"My body needs you." He said, clearly falling back to sleep.

"Charming." She replied, taking a few long strides to pass a couple on the street.

"Did you take something for your headache?" He asked.

"Yeah, when I woke this morning, I'm at work now, call you later?" She asked.

"Mmhmm." He answered, falling back to sleep.

-x-

The day breezed by, they had an open and shut case finished before nine that night.

"Beckett, you ok?" Ryan asked, standing next to Kate's desk.

"Yeah, I just have a headache that I can't get rid of." Kate smiled, realizing she'd had the headache since last night. Talking to Rick and the case had managed to put her mind off it but now it was causing her some grief.

"Go home, I've got the rest of the paperwork." Ryan smiled, picking up the folder from her desk.

"I already had the morning off, let me finish and you go home."

"Not happening," Ryan shook his head, reaching for Beckett's coat and chucked it at her, "Home time, get some sleep."

Sleep? It's all she had been doing lately.

-x-

She had to quickly check the loft before she could go home. She'd gone twice before now, just to give it a quick check over and then she would leave, go back to her apartment and wish she was back at the loft.

Wish that Rick and Alexis were back.

Just as she was putting the key in the lock her phone rang.

"Hi." She breathed into the phone, using two hands to turn the key.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Successfully breaking into your loft." She said, closing the door behind her.

"You're there?"

"Sure am, why?" She asked, setting her bag down on the floor by the door and flicking all the lights on.

She winced and turned all of them off, reaching for the lamp in the lounge instead.

"I miss it, I miss you." He said flatly, it was taking a toll on him now. The first few days it was still fresh, they didn't mind the phone calls and he was used to not seeing her for a few days but four? It was getting harder.

"Only a few more days and you'll be reunited with your loft, it misses you too Rick." She laughed, walking to the kitchen.

"You sound different, what's wrong?"

Could he seriously pick up on her health problems from across the country?

"I'm fine, I just haven't managed to get rid of that headache."

"Kate, you sound terrible. There are some aspirin in the top cupboard in the kitchen."

"I'm fine, it's not that bad." She lied, she had felt like it was mostly under control until the light incident.

"I don't like this, you've had it all day."

"Rick, it's a headache. I'm ok." She'd had it since last night but she wasn't about to tell him that.

"Stay at the loft tonight, don't go back out." He begged down the phone to her.

"It's onl-"

"Kate, just do it please."

"Fine." She answered, suddenly angry at him. She didn't want to stay there without him, she felt weird about it. This wasn't her home, she had an apartment that was perfectly fine.

"Thank you." He said, sighing in relief.

She was silent when she pulled the aspirin down from the box. She put the phone down and took two.

"This is stupid, it's only a headache." She argued, walking through his office and into his bedroom.

"I'll feel better knowing that you're there though."

She yanked at her jeans, pulling them down and tugging off her jacket. She dragged the blankets down and got into his bed.

"I'm all tucked up in your bed, Rick. Happy?" Her tone was not impressed, she hated being told what to do.

"No, I'm not happy that you have a headache and I'm not there, but I am glad that you're staying there." Rick fought back.

She fell silent, she didn't quite know what to say.

"Three more sleeps and I'll be back." He said quietly, waving his white flag.

"I know, I've been counting." Kate admitted, pulling the blankets up and over her so she could snuggle down.

"Me too. Get some sleep, Kate, I'll call you in the morning."

"Ok then."

"Call me if you wake up and need anything though, or if you can't sleep" He said before she could say her goodnight.

"You're in San Francisco, Rick." She told him, rolling her eyes.

"I can be back in New York before the morning." He answered, completely telling the truth.

"No, don't you dare. I don't want your publisher hounding me because you left. I'm fine." She told him once again, hoping he would believe her this time.

"Goodnight, gorgeous." He finally said, sighing into the phone.

"Night, Rick." She whispered before ending the phone call.

She set her alarm before tucking her phone under the pillow on the other side of the bed. The side of the bed she usually slept on. She was sleeping on his side, on his pillow. Even though they usually ended up in the middle of the bed, sharing one pillow it felt weird to be on his side.

She was about to move but before she could, she was already asleep.

-x-

When she woke she immediately knew something wasn't right, everything hurt as she lunged from the bed.

She hugged the toilet bowl as she was sick, throwing up water but nothing else.

She knelt on the floor, head spinning and top soaked through from sweat. This wasn't just a headache. She crawled back to the bed, hand fisting under the pillow to find her phone.

When it lit up she winced at the light, she fumbled to find Ryan's number.

"Beckett, what's up?"

"Hey Ryan, I'm not feeling so well." She said, leaning against the bed for support.

"You don't sound good, do you want me to come over and get you. I'll take you to the hospital."

He was such a good guy, he would make someone very happy one day.

"No, I think I just ate something bad yesterday. Can you tell Montgomery that I wont be in today, don't want to infect the whole precinct." She joked, trying to make the situation a little lighter.

"Will do, listen to me Beckett, call me if you need anything." Ryan said, the most serious tone she had heard him use.

"Thanks, Ryan." She said closing the phone and tossing it across the room.

Her stomach cramped and she fell over with pain.

-x-

Her phone ringing woke her, she was asleep in the doorway between Rick's room and the bathroom.

"Shit." She growled, sitting up and looking behind her to the phone buzzing on the carpet.

Rick's name was flashing on the screen, along with an icon that said three missed calls.

He was going to be mad about this.

"Hi." She said quietly, keeping her eyes closed.

"I've rung you all morning, I rung the loft and the precinct. It wasn't until I got hold of Detective Ryan that he told me you weren't going into today because you had food poisoning. Kate, what's going on?"

She laid back down on the ground, the cold tiles cooling her down.

"I just don't feel so good, I must have been asleep when you rung. I'm sorry."

"Is it still the headache?" He asked, voice worried.

"No, that's gone. I just woke up with cramps and was sick, I was sweating and just felt really ill. I fell asleep on the floor after calling the precinct." She told him, no point keeping it from him now.

"Kate, what have you eaten?"

"Uh, I had some chinese yesterday at work and then a packet of pretzels on the way home."

"Chinese from the usual place?" He asked, rushing around his hotel room.

"Yeah, I didn't feel sick until I woke up this morning though." She said, suddenly feeling sick again.

"It could be a twenty-four hour bug or something, you need to go to the doctor."

She dropped the phone, crawling to the toilet to be sick again.

Nothing would come up, she had nothing left in her stomach.

"Sorry, I was sick again." She said down the phone before leaning against the wall.

"Kate, you need to go to the hospital. I'm ringing the car service right now."

"No, it's fine. I'll call Lanie, she'll come over."

"Kate." He was desperate.

"She's a doctor, Rick. I'll be fine."

-x-

She heard the door slam close and she sat up quickly. A bit too quickly, everything spun as she hung her head back down.

"Kate!" She heard someone yell.

She was completely confused. It sounded like Rick, she was in his house but he was in San Francisco. He wasn't in New York.

"Oh my god." He said when he reached the bathroom.

Kate was lying on the tiles in the bathroom in only wearing her t-shirt, her hair half up and half down drenched in sweat, her skin pale.

"Rick?" She asked totally bemused.

"I got on the first flight after I talked to you this morning. Kate, this is bad. Did Lanie come over?"

She could barely remember talking to him this morning, why was he talking about Lanie?

"I'm fine." She said, trying to sit up again but her arm gave way and she slipped back down to the tiles. Rick was a second too late, but he dropped to his knees pulling her back up to him.

"Why aren't you in San Francisco?" She asked, suddenly sleepily.

"Look at you, I think it speaks for itself." He pulled out his phone, holding the light away from Kate and called the car service. She heard him muttering the words immediately and hospital.

"Kate look at me." She looked up to him, his eyes full of worry and distress, "Put your arms around my neck ok, we're going to the hospital."

"I have no pants on." She protested but did what he asked.

He lifted her from the floor, carrying her through into the bedroom. He sat her on the bed, managing to grab a pair of her yoga pants from the chair. Putting her feet into the holes of the pants he gently pulled them up her legs, taking her hands he pulled her up and in a second taking the band of the pants and pulling it up over her butt.

She fell into him, head rested against his shoulder.

"Bucket." She said hastily and he reached to his bedside drawers grabbing a bowl that he used put his wallet and keys in.

The movement in the car didn't agree with Kate at all, every few seconds she was dry reaching, wishing she had something to throw up.

Rick had pulled her from the car, carried her into the emergency room and she didn't remember much after that.

-x-

"Rick?" She said, waking up.

"Kate, hi. How are you feeling?" He asked, standing from the chair next to her bed.

"Better, what's going on?" She asked, looking around the room. She was certainly in a hospital bed, she was dressed in a gown and there was a needle in her arm feeding her fluids.

"What can you remember?" He asked, cupping her cheek.

"Bits and pieces; being sick this morning, you rung, I fell asleep and then you were here." She tried to smile but it was no use, he was still worried.

"When I walked into the bathroom, I almost died. I was so scared."

"I'm sorry," She said, taking his hand from her cheek and holding it in her hand, "Have they told you anything?" She asked.

"They wouldn't tell me much because we're not married but I explained the situation and they said they'd let me know if it was anything major. I didn't grab your phone so I couldn't ring your dad or Lanie, I'm sorry."

"Rick, it's fine. I'll call them when I get out."

"The doctor said that a dramatic spike in hormone levels could have caused all of your symptoms and they asked me it could possibly be one thing and I didn't know what to say."

"What was it?" She asked, watching him intently.

"They asked me if you could be pregnant." He answered, looking up to her.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, there you go.<strong>

**Tell me if you want this or not. I'm sitting on the fence about the entire thing. Kate and Rick in this story having a baby would be amazing but I don't know if they are ready for it but then I kinda like that too. They aren't normal at all so them settling down, getting married and then having a baby isn't what I imagine at all, I want crazy and unpredictable but it's completely up to you. Tell me what you want and you can have it. **

**Hannah**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen.

Pregnant?

I'm sorry but what?

"Pregnant?" Kate asked, looking at Rick.

He nodded, "I told them I didn't know which sounded awful coming from your boyfriend. I know you're on the pill so I told them that but these things do happen."

She nodded.

They did happen but surely not to her.

It really did make sense though. She was tired all the time, headaches, feeling nauseous and heat sweats. They were plain and simple symptoms of pregnancy.

How did she not see it?

"I didn't even put it together, I could be."

"Well, it wasn't like you were a little nauseous and had a bit of morning sickness, you were full blown ill." Rick said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Did they take blood to test?" She asked, looking to her arm. Needle marks.

Rick nodded, "They needed to check your hormone levels and you couldn't exactly pee in a cup."

"Pregnant." She said again, the word sounding like a different language as she said it.

Rick nodded.

"Wait, Alexis didn't come back with you?" Kate asked, not wanting to change the conversation but she had just thought about it.

"She's gone to Los Angeles with Meredith and Mother will bring her home when she flies home next week."

"I'm sorry." Kate said quietly, this wasn't exactly ideal.

"Don't be, this isn't your fault. It actually could be half my fault."

They both smiled.

This could work?

Couldn't it?

"What did you say to her?" Kate asked, shifting uncomfortably in the bed, her stomach cramping as soon as she moved.

"I told her that you weren't feeling well and I was going back to check on you. She wanted to come but Meredith persuaded her to stay and she could fly back with Mother."

"Meredith doesn't seem so bad right now." Kate joked, trying to adjust her IV line.

"I know, it shocked me as well. Although I didn't know what it could have been when I left so don't turn off the hurricane warnings just yet."

"Gina?" Kate asked.

"Mad as hell but I had finished everything that was in my contract so she couldn't refuse. All I missed was a few readings, I'm sure they got someone else to do it." He shrugged, not really caring.

"Pregnant." Kate sighed.

Rick smiled, "Getting used to the word?"

"No." She pouted and Rick laughed.

"Hey, it's not definite." Rick said, hand squeezing her thigh.

"We were just talking about this last week. What are the odds?"

Rick smiled. It was his smile. The one that made her melt, the one that made her fall in love with him.

They hadn't even done the whole 'I love you' thing. Well he had given her the painting and it was pretty clear but still.

She was making a point.

Pregnant and then declarations of love?

She was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to go that way.

Love, marriage and then babies.

That certainly wasn't the way they were doing things.

"What if I am, Rick? This changes everything. We're not married, and I'm not saying that people have to be to have kids but we don't even live together. You have Alexis and your life is good, this could ruin it. This could screw everything up." She hated saying it but she had to.

"It could screw everything up but then again, it could make everything a million times better and I think because you're in the picture there cannot be a chance of it being screwed up." Rick said, shrugging his shoulders.

Mr. optimistic.

Kate sat quietly, relaying his answer over and over in her head and thinking that he'd sat in that chair before. Meredith had been pregnant with Alexis and he'd sat in the same chair. She wasn't planned and it didn't end the way Rick would have wanted.

She hurt him, wanted her to career more and left him with a baby.

Kate hated Meredith for that, for hurting Rick and Alexis the way she did but could she do the same?

"Kate, I know you're scared and that's the perfectly normal feeling to be. I am too but think about this for a second, when have we ever been normal? When did we do things the conventional way? Never. I never thought that I would ever have this again, never thought that someone could just walk into my life and turn everything upside down but here you are and you do it everyday. I was happy with my life, happy watching Alexis grow up, happy writing Derrick Storm and happy dating women that I knew I'd never love because I knew I could never get hurt."

Rick moved more onto the bed, taking her hand in his.

"Then Alexis ran into you at the hotel and I almost fell down the steps. I thought there was no way you were single, no way some other lucky man hadn't promised to love you forever and then you were sitting in the bar, reading that awful book and I thought I might have a chance. The way you looked at me right then should have been a sign, your eyes actually made my stomach ache. I wanted to know everything they had seen, I wanted to see them every morning I woke up and then we were kissing and then it was over. I left and you were gone the next day."

He paused, smiling at the memory that seemed so long ago.

It was so long ago.

"I thought about you every single day, I walked around the city hoping to walk into you again and then one day you were there, right in front of me. I knew at that moment that you were it. I know that you're freaking about how long we've been together and officially we're only at six months but I think we'll be fine, I promise that we'll be fine whatever they come in and say. It's going to be ok, Kate."

"Six months though, that's not even the amount of time that someone is pregnant. If I am pregnant, I'm going to be heavily pregnant on our one year anniversary, how messed up is that?" Kate was fidgeting.

Rick just laughed.

Then Kate laughed.

"If I am, I don't want to plan anything just yet ok, I want to wait it out."

"You can only wait so long and then you'll have the baby, Kate." Rick was watching Kate's battle over this entire thing.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"I know that, but I want to wait until we tell Alexis and your mother. Rick you haven't even met my dad, how do you think that's going to go? 'Hey dad, this is my boyfriend Rick and by the way I'm already pregnant.' "

Rick's eyes bulged, "Oh my god."

"Yeah, you didn't think of that one, did you?" She joked.

"He's going to kill me, I'm dead." Rick got up from the bed, started to pace the room.

"Rick-"

"No, you can't be pregnant. I am not meeting your father and then telling him I got you pregnant before we're even living together Kate. No."

Paybacks a bitch.

The nurse came walking through the door just as Rick was about to have a nervous meltdown.

"Kate, you're awake. How are you feeling?" The nurse asked, changing the fluids bag.

"Good, well better than before. When will I find out what's wrong?" Kate asked, eyes moving from the nurse to Rick and back again.

"The doctor is just running some more tests, just in case and then he'll be in to tell you what's going on." She smiled, that typical nurse smile.

"Ok, thanks."

The nurse left the room eyeing up Rick, he was leaned against the wall, hands covering his eyes.

"Rick, come on." She patted the bed, "You look crazy."

"I wish we were normal now." Rick sighed, sitting down next to Kate, lacing his fingers through hers.

"Why?" She asked, frowning at his statement.

"Maybe we met at a cafe, I was writing and you were getting a quick cup of coffee before going to play super cop. We bumped into each other, I asked you out and you said yes. We went on all the normal dates; movies, dinner and dancing. You invited me up on the third date and we slept together. Eight months later your water pipes burst in your apartment and you had to quickly move out. You said that it would be temporary but you never left the loft. I asked you to marry me on our two year anniversary and you said yes. A year later we married in the Hamptons, it was a small wedding and you looked amazing. A month later we found out were carrying twins and Alexis was so happy to find out she was going to be a sister. Zachery and Matilda were born nine months later. That's a normal story."

"Twins? No." Kate shook her head, straight out refusing.

Rick started laughing, clearly amused by Kate's refusal of twins.

"Matilda? Also no." Kate shook her head again.

"It was off the top of my head." Rick pouted.

"I like our story better though." Kate smiled, leaning from the bed to kiss his cheek.

"You do?"

"Yeah, regardless of what the doctor says, it's a better story to tell any future additions to the family."

That made Rick beam.

Family, despite if the doctor came into the room baring a congratulations or not, they were family now. Even Kate had said it.

-x-

Another hour had passed, Rick was asleep in the chair next to Kate. She was still awake, staring at the ceiling, praying for the doctor to walk through the door.

Pregnant.

Did she really want this? They had only been together for six months. That wasn't long enough to know someone enough to have a baby with them.

She wouldn't be pregnant, the doctor would walk in and tell her she had a hormonal unbalance and she had to change her birth control pills. How could she be pregnant?

That was like a one percent chance.

They would go home and laugh about it, it would be a funny story by next week.

Or would it?

What her dad think of all of this? Sure, Rick had freaked out and she had laughed about it, but it was bothering her now. His baby girl, his only child could possibly be pregnant with someone he had yet to meet.

What would her mom think of this?

Suddenly Kate felt sick again. She knew that if she married or ever had kids that her mom wouldn't be around to see it, she'd thought about it all the time but now that it could quite possibly be happening it felt different.

It didn't feel like it could be real.

She rubbed the tears away from her eyes, determined to not let anyone see her cry about this. No, she wasn't pregnant and she would deal with that when the time came.

In a few years.

Not now.

-x-

"Hey." Rick smiled as Kate opened her eyes.

"I fell asleep?" She asked, sitting up a little too fast.

"Yeah, I woke up and you were out cold again." He rubbed her back as she rubbed her eyes, the remains of her tears being wiped away.

"Doctor?" She asked.

"Not yet, I went out and asked a few minutes ago and he should be in the next hour or so."

Kate nodded.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, the light mood from before disappearing by the second.

Clearly it had hit the two of them the seriousness of this situation.

"I'm thinking of getting a cab back to the loft and cuddling up to you on the couch and watching a movie." She smiled, reaching for his hand.

"That sounds amazing."

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, squeezing his hand.

"I'm thinking about burgers from Remy's and a milkshake." He laughed.

"Oh, I want that. I'm so hungry."

"That must be a good sign, if you're hungry and not feeling sick anymore."

Kate smiled, she hadn't even thought about that.

"Miss Beckett." The doctor said, looking up from his file as he walked into the room.

"Hi." Kate said, looking at the doctor.

He held her entire future and half of Rick's as well.

"It was what I expected, the contraceptive pill you are on caused a hormonal unbalance."

Kate half nodded, looking from the doctor to Rick and back.

"But that is only half the reason why you were as sick as you were."

There was more?

"The hormonal unbalance caused by the pill and your own hormonal unbalance worked together to make you as sick as you were. It happens in woman that show the same symptoms as you and that are on the pill when they conceive."

Conceive?

"I think congratulations are in order, Kate, you're six weeks pregnant."

* * *

><p><strong>I did it. I decided to go for it. It's going to be a fun ride that I really hope you'll all stay with me on. Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter, I'll eventually write back but I'm just super busy at the moment. I know some of you were crossing your fingers for food poisoning but where is the fun in that?<strong>

**Thanks again,**

**Hannah**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty.

Pregnant.

There were forms to sign, prescriptions to be taken for pre-natal care, appointments to be made for scans, and check ups. Plus, nurses and doctors kept telling her that she needed to be on bed rest for a week. But they were discharging her, so she could leave immediately.

After the doctor patted Rick on the back and congratulated him, they were all gone.

Rick stood alone in the room and looked at Kate.

"Kate." Rick smiled, finally alone.

"We're having a baby." Kate said, the words falling out of her mouth.

"We are." Rick stepped closer to her as she swung her legs from the bed.

The way he was looking at her and the way she was looking at him matched perfectly.

The look of wonder, happiness, nervousness, and pure joy.

He cupped her cheeks with his hands and kissed her. The kiss that made them realize that they knew they were going to be ok, that they could get through this, and that this was just the beginning.

Both of their lives were now joined.

Forever.

-x-

"Hey." Rick said, standing in the doorway of her bedroom.

"Hi." Sleepily she sat up, running her hand through her hair.

They had decided to go to Kate's apartment for her week of bed rest. Alexis wasn't home and Rick didn't need much, only his laptop and a few changes of clothes.

It had been his decision; he wanted to be away from the loft for a bit. Until that image of Kate lying on the bathroom floor could be forgotten.

Not that it ever would.

"Get your stuff?" She asked.

He nodded, pulling a face about the fact he had to go back.

"What's wrong?"

"I just didn't want to go back, I don't like the last memory I had of that place. You sick on the floor, it scares me to know that was my fault, Kate."

She patted the space on the bed next to her, signaling him to come over.

"Rick, please don't ever say that again. The loft is your home and even though now it has some bad memories don't let it make them override the good."

"I'm going to go to the real estate agent tomorrow." He said, falling back onto the bed.

Kate sat there shocked.

"No." She shook her head and he opened his eyes, turning to look at her.

"Why? We can get another place, a bigger place for us all to share. I know we're taking this awfully slow but we've got seven and a half months to decide."

He shrugged his shoulders like it wasn't even a big deal.

"Please don't do that." She begged.

"Why?"

"I like the loft, I know that we'll end up there when I sort myself out but I'm either staying here or moving there. And I don't think this apartment is quite big enough for us, two kids and your mother." She frowned at him and then smiled.

Two kids.

"Think of all those times with Alexis growing up, her asleep in the cupboard when you were playing hide and seek. What about those long nights writing Derrick? You don't want to give it all up because you saw your girlfriend sick on the floor."

"Not my girlfriend, the mother of my unborn child almost passed out from being sick all day. It's different."

That one hit home.

"I want this baby to have everything Alexis had, the same."

He looked at her confused, "What?"

"Alexis is still a kid, she wont want to move. Rick, she might hate me for this and I don't think moving is the best option. It's her home, not just yours. What about your mother? She loves it here too. I love it there, I really do, and when I'm ready I will move in. But I want the loft. I don't want a new house or apartment. I want somewhere that is already a home, already had memories that we can add to."

"Kate Beckett, you drive a hard bargain." He smiled, rubbing a hand over her leg.

"So?" She asked.

"The loft it is."

She smiled; winning against him could be easy.

"Plus, think of all the morning sickness that is yet to come."

"Kate," he growled, covering his face, "I hate seeing you sick."

"Imagine when I have to give birth. Even that scares me." She pulled a face, scrunching up her nose.

"Can't be worse than seeing you like that."

Kate leaned forward; running her hand through his hair, "Stop thinking about it, I'm right here."

His eyes were closed but he came to her when she pulled at his shirt. He clambered up the bed to where she was sitting against the headboard.

She didn't give him enough time to register what was happening, she kissed him hard. She wanted him to know she was fine.

"Kate-" Rick growled, "We can't be doing-" she kissed him again, pulling him closer to her. "You're on bed rest."

"I'm in a bed." She smirked to him, tugging at his shirt.

Rick took her hands, tugging them free of his shirt and made his way from the bed.

"You're no fair." She crossed her arms in a huff.

"I think we should commend the fact that I actually could stop myself." He leaned against the wall, not trusting himself to sit next to her on the bed.

"I thought at least being stuck on bed rest could be fun. Being stuck in bed all day, I could only think of one thing to do. This sucks."

Rick groaned, looking at the ground. He couldn't look at Kate. If he did he'd give in.

He gave in about the loft though; he'd give her anything she wanted.

"Food?" He asked, eyes still glued to the floor.

"Coffee?" She asked.

He looked up to her, shaking his head.

He'd give her everything, except that.

Yeah, this was going to be a battle.

"Decaf." He said, raising an eyebrow.

"No!" She shook her head, outraged.

"Decaf." He said again as if she would magically accept his new rule.

"Rick." She fought hard but he was just shaking his head.

"I threw out all your coffee and the stuff at the loft and bought you decaf."

She looked like a child that had been told Santa wasn't real.

"You didn't." She growled.

He nodded, "Pick and choose your battles, Kate. I've won this one."

And with that, he walked from her room into the kitchen.

-x-

"Did you ring the precinct?" He asked, stretching out on the bed.

"Yeah, told them I was out for the week. Montgomery said it was good to finally use some of my sick days." She laughed.

"Did you tell them why?" He looked up to her, question in his eyes.

She shook her head, "We're not telling anyone until after first trimester, that's what we agreed."

He nodded, his hand making circles over her knee.

"At least when we tell your dad that you're pregnant, we would have been dating for eight months, that's better than six."

Kate laughed out loud, shaking her head.

"So we shouldn't tell him that according to the math I calculated I got pregnant one of the first times we slept together in the Hamptons?" Kate asked.

"You did the math too? I bet it was that night with the tequila," Rick laughed. "I wonder if the baby will be a water baby?"

Kate laughed again.

"First night we play that game, we make out in a booth in a dirty bar. Second time we play that game, I end up pregnant. What will happen the third time?" She prodded Rick, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll ask you to marry me." He looked up to her; he wanted that. He would have married her tomorrow if she'd let him. But she said that she wouldn't be pregnant when she got married, no way.

"What you'll dare me to do it?" She joked.

"If that's what it takes." He said, acting like she'd hurt his ego.

"Don't pout."

"Does it make you want me?" He asked, smiling up to her.

"I do want you, I wanted you when I grabbed you. You're the one that ran from the bed."

"Don't remind me. How long did the doctor say until you are allowed to return to normal activities?"

"Until I feel better, or a week to be safe." She replied, crossing her arms.

"We can last."

"I have raging hormones, what's your excuse?" She asked, enjoying their banter.

"You're my excuse, I never not want you."

Kate laughed, throwing the pillow at his head.

-x-

"Rick." Kate called out in the dark bedroom. The door was open a bit, letting the light shine in from the kitchen.

He was at the door in a flash, "Are you ok?" He asked, voice filled with worry and concern.

"Why aren't you in here, it's nearly three." Her voice was croaky, she could barely remember falling asleep.

"I didn't know if you wanted the bed to yourself. I was going to sleep on the couch but I started writing and I for carried away." He said shyly, knowing how stupid it sounded coming from his mouth.

"Please tell me you're kidding, come to bed."

Rick looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world, his eyes lit up as she smiled at him.

He crawled into bed after turning everything off.

"Shirt off." She demanded pulling at his shirt.

"Kate." He pleaded for her to not start this again. He'd just got the image of her under him out of his head.

"I'm cold." She said.

He sat up, pulling his shirt off.

She stretched her arm out across his chest, fingernails scratching him. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, she was teasing him. When she laughed in the darkness he opened his eyes. She pulled his arm out across her pillow, snuggling into his side, using his chest as her heat blanket.

"Better?" He asked, kissing the top of her head.

"So much better, I didn't enjoy waking up without you." She frowned, kissing his chest.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, letting his lips linger in her hair.

"My tummy feels weird, like tight." She said, rolling onto her back and pulling up her shirt to examine her stomach.

Rick rolled onto his side, watching her trail her fingers over her stomach.

"Can I?" He asked, his voice full of hope.

"You don't have to ask." She looked up to him, wondering why he was so cautious about it.

She realized he hadn't touched her stomach yet, not once. He didn't even ask about it, like he was afraid of the answer.

His fingers ran over her stomach so gently she could barely feel them. He was smiling, completely in awe of what he had just done.

It was like it was his first time ever feeling the stomach of a woman that was pregnant with his child.

But it wasn't, Meredith had been pregnant with Alexis. This was his second time but the look in his eyes said otherwise. She wouldn't ask him about it now, he'd tell her when he was ready.

"Is it odd to already love something that's the size of a pee?" He asked, fingers still roaming across her bare stomach.

"Not when it is half you." She smiled.

"I think I love your half more, to be honest."

"I think I'm the opposite, I love your half."

"Did you just tell me you love me?" He asked, eyes wide watching her.

"No, I told you that I love what you gave the baby."

"Too bad." He shrugged.

"What's too bad?" She asked, reaching up to cup his cheek and moving it up so he was looking at her again.

"I was telling you that I love you." He said, smiling into her hand.

The look he gave her made her heart melt. This was it. Nothing could beat the feeling she had at that moment he confessed it to her.

It was well known that he did love her. The painting, flying home to her when she was sick, sitting by her bed all day and night.

He loved her.

"You know what?" She said, running her hand over his lip.

"What?" He asked, moving closer to her.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the delay, been away all weekend.<strong>

**ALSO, a massive thank you to my new beta _CaskettShipper_. I can see that you will be invaluable in no time/you already are. And YAY no more mistakes. **

**Glad to see so many of you liking this new turn in the story, I love hearing what you all think. **

**Hannah **


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

"Morning." Kate bent down, wrapping her arms around Rick's neck.

"Hey you." He smiled, leaning behind him to kiss her good morning.

"Kate! What are you doing out of bed?" He turned around, looking at her with a horrified expression, clearly just registering that she was out of bed.

"It's been two days, I need to walk for a bit. The doctor said that I could be back to light activities after a few days if I'm feeling up to it." She smiled, walking around to the other side of the couch, sitting down next to him.

The pained expression on his face said it all.

"Rick, I'm fine." She smiled, running her hand through his hair.

He sat there quietly, his laptop humming on his knee.

"I heard you on the phone this morning, was it Alexis?" Kate asked, curling her fingers around his ear.

He leaned forward, putting his laptop on the coffee table, her hand dropping back to her side.

"Meredith rung and said Alexis was being difficult about being stuck there, that she wasn't happy and wanted to come home. I tried to talk to Alexis about it but she refused and cried."

Kate couldn't believe what she was putting Alexis through. This wasn't fair on her at all.

"Meredith suggested flying her back today but I don't want her to fly by herself and she'll know something is up when we stay here and you're sick. Mother isn't finished till next week so she can't bring her either."

"Can't Meredith fly her back?" Kate asked.

"She has a job that it's in her contract that she has to be in Los Angeles for starting this week and she did try to get out of it but couldn't."

"I'm sorry this is such a mess." Kate said quietly, looking away from Rick's face.

"Don't say that you being pregnant is a mess please, I'm in love with our story at the moment but I do want Alexis here to share it."

Kate nodded in agreement. She wanted her back too. She wanted Alexis home.

"Go pick her up then, go this afternoon and bring her back tomorrow morning."

"I'm not leaving you again, not after last time." Rick shook his head, flat out refusing.

"I'm fine now, please go and bring her back." Kate begged, squeezing his leg.

"No Kate." He stood, shaking his head still and walking away from her.

Rick's phones buzzed on the table, Meredith's name flashing.

He sighed, reaching down to pick it up.

Kate stretched her hand and gripped his arm tightly, "Please go, I'm asking you to do this."

He looked at her and nodded; he would do anything she asked.

-x-

Kate climbed back into bed as Rick was packing his bag.

"I'll see you late tonight, we will come here." Rick said his voice strained with guilt and worry.

Kate smiled, "I can go to the loft if you want, or you could go there tonight with Alexis and I'll come back tomorrow."

"No." He shook his head.

"Rick, this place doesn't have a bedroom for Alexis, this is silly."

"She'll be tired from the flight that she'll happily crash on the couch. She said she wanted to see you as well." Rick spoke softly but refused to look Kate in the eyes.

"We'll go back to the loft tomorrow then, that's the deal."

He looked up to her, panic in his eyes.

"You need to get over this, I'm fine. We're going home, move past it."

Home.

Together.

That made him smile.

-x-

She heard the door open and close quietly and then the sounds of little feet running down the hallway.

"Alexis! I said quietly." Rick said, hurrying down the hallway after her.

She burst into Kate's room a second later.

"Kate!" She squealed, running towards the bed but stopping just before she got the edge of the bed.

"Hey gorgeous, how are you?" Kate smiled, pulling herself up so she was sitting.

"I'm good, Dad said you have a stomach bug, can I catch it?"

Stomach bug.

Good one Rick.

"No, you can't catch it." Kate smiled and Alexis lunged for Kate. Wrapping her arms tightly around her neck and hugging her.

"Alexis, come on. What did I tell you?" He said, shaking his head at her.

"I'm just excited to see her." Alexis said, speaking into Kate's hair.

"It's fine, I've spent the last ten hours asleep." Kate rubbed Alexis' back.

Rick sat on the edge of the bed yawning.

He had refused to stay the night in Los Angeles and had flown there and straight back much to Kate's disapproval.

"Alexis?" Rick said after a moment but she was already asleep.

Kate laid her back on the bed, smiling at the girl who hadn't lasted ten minutes before falling asleep.

Kate held out her hand to Rick and he shook his head.

"I need to get up Rick, everything feels numb."

He sighed, pulling her hands up and helping her from the tangled mess that Alexis had created.

-x-

"How are you feeling?" Kate asked, walking behind Rick to the kitchen.

"Tired, really tired."

"I wish you had stated the night in Los Angeles, you look shattered." She wrapped her arms around his waist as he looked in the fridge.

"Then I couldn't come back and you cuddle me." He laughed, rubbing his hand over hers.

"Did Alexis sleep on the plane?"

"Nope, all she wanted to talk about was you. Kate this and Kate that." He smiled, turning to face her.

"You said I had a stomach bug?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Rick laughed loudly and she could feel the rumble through her body.

"Well technically it's true."

"Richard Castle, did you actually just called our baby a bug?"

Our baby.

He kissed her hard, hands on her hips pulling her towards him. He couldn't control it, he had Alexis back, Kate was feeling a lot better and it had just hit him, they were having a baby together.

His hands were tightly secured around her hips, holding tightly as if she could slip away at any moment.

"Stop teasing." She said when his hands run up her back, hot against her skin.

"Have you showered today?" He asked, kissing her jaw line.

"No." She managed to say, completely intoxicated by his mouth.

"I smell like a plane and you are meant to be watched, come with me." He said, pushing her backwards to the bathroom.

-x-

They had to behave themselves, they both knew it but somehow being soapy and wet in the shower made it even more difficult to refuse.

"Stop staring." Kate said, washing the shampoo from her hair.

"You're naked."

"Usually people shower naked, if you look down then you'll realize that you are too." She laughed, taking a step closer to him.

"I want you." He said so plainly and quietly that it made her smile.

She kissed him this time, hands wrapped out his neck as she pushed her body against his.

"We can't." She said, regret filling her voice as she pulled away from him.

"I know." He sighed, continuing to kiss her neck and gently biting.

"Why are you-" She was caught off guard when his fingers found the inside of her thigh, "doing that?" She managed to get out, head rested against the wall.

"I can't stop." He said.

"Dad." They heard Alexis call from outside the bathroom door.

Well if they couldn't stop before, they certainly could now.

-x-

Rick had insisted going to get dinner for them. They had settled on pizza, the thought of Chinese made Kate feel sick.

Alexis was having her second wind and jumping around Kate's apartment.

"Did you have fun with you mom?" Kate asked, stretching out on the couch.

"It was alright." Alexis stopped, shrugging her shoulders in Kate's direction.

"Just alright?" Kate asked, trying to gauge what Alexis was thinking about.

"It's always the same. We go for lunch, do some shopping and then go out for dinner. She buys me loads of nice things, like this shirt." Alexis looked down,

pulling her skirt out to show Kate the gorgeous pattern.

"It's beautiful." Kate smiled, feeling a tad jealous that she got to spend so much time with Alexis.

She was her mother; of course she could spend time with her.

These hormones were kicking her hard.

"But we never do normal things." Alexis said quietly, looking towards the door as to check if Rick was close.

"Normal things?" Kate asked, resting her head on the pillow.

"Like coloring at home or watching a movie. Like what we do."

Kate tried hard not to smile, that wouldn't help the situation.

"Maybe your mom thinks that because you fly all that way to see her that she wants to take you out and spoil you all the time. She wants to show you off." Kate said, hoping Alexis would see her point.

"I guess, I didn't think of it like that." Alexis let out a sigh, feeling bad for thinking it.

"It's alright, you know now." Kate shrugged, shuffling over on the couch and patting it for Alexis.

Alexis walked across the room, sitting down and then cuddling up to Kate. Her hands wrapped around her and her head rested against Kate's stomach.

She wondered what it would be like when she was showing, what Alexis would be like. Kate was scared about it; she would never let Rick know though. It would upset him to think about Alexis not being ok with getting a new sibling. But it had been just the two of them for so long, now an extra two people added to the family? Sure, Alexis had welcomed Kate in easily enough but a new baby would be different.

"Kate?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah?"

"Will you still color with me?" Alexis asked, her voice shy and quiet.

"Yeah baby, I'll still color with you." Kate smiled, kissing the top of Alexis' head.

Baby?

That was new.

-x-

"When did you get back?" Kate asked, waking up to find Rick slumped in the chair.

"About an hour ago." He smiled, putting down the TV remote and turning to her.

Alexis was still curled up next to her, arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

"That's probably my favorite thing in the world." He smiled, resting his head on his hand.

"What is?" She asked, moving slowly to get up and not disturb Alexis.

"Seeing you with her, all cuddled up. I can't wait till number two is in there." He was beaming with the image.

"Shhh." Kate frowned scared that Alexis would wake up.

"She's out of it." He rolled his eyes, standing and holding out his hand to her.

She managed to get free of Alexis' grip and Rick threw the blanket over her, tucking it under the cushion so she couldn't roll off the couch.

"Did you get dinner?" She asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Yeah, do you want some now?" He asked.

"I didn't realize how hungry I was, yeah that'll be good." She pulled herself up onto the small kitchen island, letting her feet sway.

Rick moved away her kitchen getting her dinner ready. He pulled two slices from the fridge, chucking them on a plate before putting it in the microwave.

"Aren't you so tired?" She asked, realizing he had yet to get any sleep since leaving this morning.

"I'm fine now." He smiled, opening the door before it beeped and woke Alexis.

"Dinner is served." He handed her the pizza.

She ate in silence as he danced around the kitchen putting things away and moving things that they needed to take with them when they went back to the loft in the morning.

"Did you take one of these today?" He asked, holding up one of the bottles the doctor had given her.

Pre-natal care.

She nodded, her mouth full of delicious pizza.

He opened the bottle to see what they looked like and screwed up his face. They didn't smell that great, thank god they were the ones you swallowed.

"Did you feel queasy at all today?" He asked, setting the bottle back down.

"A bit after my lunch. Think I just ate too fast but I wasn't sick." She smiled, setting the plate down.

"You have to eat the other slice." He said, pushing the plate back to her.

She didn't fight it; she picked up the other slice and took a bite.

"I'll go to the loft in the early morning before Alexis wakes up and then come back and get the two of you."

"But-"

"It's a mess. There is stuff everywhere from when I ran home and grabbed things. The bathroom is still the same as when I carried you out of it."

"So you managed to throw out all the coffee when you went back there but you couldn't put the other stuff away?" Kate smiled, lifting her foot and rubbing it up his thigh.

"I was in a state of panic. I went to stop for coffee to keep me awake and then it hit me that you wouldn't be allowed the normal stuff so I panicked and threw it all out."

Kate started laughing, shaking her head.

"It's not funny, I had just been told that my girlfriend was pregnant and I was in panic mode."

She tugged him with her foot, setting the empty plate aside.

"I'm not laughing at you, it just amazes me that you think of those things. I'm sorry that you had to deal with all of that while I was sleeping it off. It wasn't fair,

I'm sorry." She said truthfully, she had been thinking about what he must have been going through as she slept peacefully in the hospital.

She leaned in, his legs in the middle of hers and kissed him.

"Thank you." She whispered, her eyes closed as she wrapped her hands around his neck, letting her head fall against his chest.

* * *

><p><strong>Big thanks to <em>CaskettShipper <em>for being my beta. You rock.**

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed/favored. **

**Next few chapters we'll be getting into the real pregnant stuff, I've been reading up on it. Have my weekly calendar open to see what will be happening with Baby Beckett/Castle. I really hope no one looks into my internet history, few awkward questions I can imagine. I've never had a baby so if any of you have and you've got some good stories/crappy stories/things that the internet can't tell you about having a baby PLEASE let me know, I want to make this as real as possible. **

**Thank you all**

**Hannah**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two.

The move back into the loft had been easier than usual. Kate's morning sickness had lessened and Alexis was back at school.

Well the first few days had been easy.

"Kate." Rick sighed, shuffling into the bathroom.

"I'm fine, just didn't feel so great when I woke up." Kate said quietly, her head hanging low as she leaned against the bathtub, the tiles cooling her legs.

Rick knelt down, rubbing his hand up her leg and squeezing.

"Was that my alarm?" She asked, finally looking up to him.

He nodded, holding out his hands to help her up.

"You should take another few days off, go in at the start of next week."

Kate shook her head, leaning in to turn the shower on.

"Please, I'm sure the Captain wouldn't mind."

"I can't. The boys have already covered for me and have been flat out. I'm fine now, it passes quickly and I can get on with the day." She smiled to him, lifting her shirt over her head.

"If you feel tired or sick or anything, I'm serious here, will you please come home?" Kate nodded, letting him win this one.

-x-

It was midday before Kate could finally take a breather.

They had been called in on a double homicide on a college campus and had been busy since then.

"Yo, Beckett. We're having trouble getting the paperwork from the college, something about students' privacy and keeping the news quiet." Esposito said, holding his hand over the phone from across the bullpen.

"Tell them that you'll apply for a warrant and see them tomorrow, shake them up a bit."

Esposito nodded, uncovering his hand and relaying what Beckett had said.

"They're willing to give them up, Ryan and I will head over now."

Beckett nodded, glad that she didn't have to take another trip across town.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket just as she was thinking about Rick.

_R: 'Patiently waiting for the Batman symbol to appear in the sky. Remember I'm here.'_

_K: 'Just thinking about you. I'm feeling great. Tired but no need to send Alfred with soup.'_

_R: 'It must be my spidey senses.' _

_K: 'You can't be Batman and Spiderman. You have to pick one.'_

_R: 'Never! Hospital rung about the first-trimester screening tests. Made appt. for next week. Guess what?'_

_K: 'That sounds fun… What?'_

_R: 'Our baby had a tail and paddles for arms! How cool is that?'_

_K: 'Get off Google and do some writing.'_

_R: 'Slave driver.'_

_K: 'You love it.'_

_R: 'Wouldn't have it any other way.'_

-x-

They had gone over the records from the college and found noting. The two girls couldn't be linked together for anything; it was starting to look completely random, which was frightening.

They had called it a night around midnight, all in agreement that fresh eyes in the morning would be better than the tired eyes they were all sporting now.

Kate had managed throughout the day with only decaf coffee. She thought it would be harder, that she would crave it more than she thought.

The loft was quiet when she got home, bags and suitcases strewn across the floor. Martha had arrived back around dinnertime and caused havoc in Alexis' routine.

"Hey." Rick said sleepily when Kate climbed into bed.

"I see Martha is back." Kate said, tugging the band from her hair and letting it fall around her shoulders.

Rick groaned and Kate laughed, running a hand over his chest.

"How was work?" He asked, lacing his fingers through hers as she snuggled into him.

"Hard case."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I want to sleep." She answered, yawning into Rick's shoulder.

She heard him chuckle before she was swept into sleep.

-x-

"Good morning Kate, nice to see that you're feeling better." Martha hugged Kate as she walked into the kitchen.

They talked about Martha's job in Los Angeles before Alexis came hurdling into the kitchen, hair flying everywhere.

"Kiddo, slow down before dad gets mad." Martha said, shaking her head at Alexis.

"I'm just really excited for tonight." Alexis said, pulling her lunchbox from the dishwasher.

"Tonight?" Kate asked, looking from Alexis to Rick who had just walked into the kitchen armed with a hairbrush and hair-tie.

"We have a school dance tonight, like a welcome dance."

Kate smiled at Alexis as she talked about how excited she was that she could wear the new dress Martha had bought her in Los Angeles.

She was sad that she didn't know about it, she should know these things.

Rick sensed Kate's struggle with the conversation and ran his hand down her back, leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek. These hormones were not her friend.

"So what time do I need to be there?" Martha asked, looking up from the paper.

"Four, just in the foyer." Rick replied, finally getting Alexis to hold still long enough to put her hair in a braid.

"I'm chaperoning. Rick usually does it but some of the mothers are a bit much to handle." Martha laughed, patting Kate on the shoulder before pulling her bag from the counter.

PTA moms. Cupboard. Rick hiding.

She was glad he wasn't going now.

"Right Kiddo, do you want to come with me now? I can drop you off on the way to brunch." Martha said, looking to Alexis and the kid was gone in a flash and back with her bag.

"See you later, dad." Alexis hugged Rick and turned to Kate.

"Bye." She shrugged at Kate, pulling the bag on.

"See you Alexis." Kate said, putting a smile on for show.

Rick walked to them to the door, Alexis was still talking about the dance and by the time Rick got back into the kitchen, tears were streaming down Kate's cheeks.

She couldn't control it.

"Kate, darling, what's wrong?" Rick asked, heading straight to her.

That made her cry more.

"Kate, come on. What's wrong?" Rick had his arms wrapped around Kate's middle as she sobbed into his shirt.

"She didn't hug me this morning, she barely said anything to me." Kate said in-between sobs.

"She's just excited about the dance and about mother being home, don't take it to heart."

But she did and she knew it was silly. This wasn't normal for Kate Beckett; she wasn't someone that got upset over the smallest of things. She was a tough homicide detective that put murderers in jail.

She wasn't the girl that cried over the fact her boyfriends kid didn't hug her good morning or goodbye.

Or was she?

"I'm sorry." Kate said quietly as she finally pulled away from Rick's shirt, which was now covered in tears and snot.

She was quite the charmer.

"Don't be sorry, I know you've got a lot of new feelings and emotions right now and it's totally normal."

"How long did you spend on Google yesterday?" Kate laughed, wiping her eyes again.

"It was only like an hour, in-between chapters. You ok?" He kissed her temple.

She nodded, "Not sure about your shirt though."

He laughed, hugging her tightly.

"The shirt is the last thing I'm worried about."

-x-

She had managed to keep her emotions in check as she got ready and walked to the precinct. The cold air outside kept her alert and she was already thinking about the case when she walked through the doors at the precinct.

Ryan and Esposito were already on the phone, both nodding as she walked past them to the murder board.

"Anything?" She asked, as they made their way over to her.

They had been putting in extra hours to make sure they could all leave earlier, both of them sharing glances when Kate would yawn or stretch in her chair.

She had this odd feeling they already knew that she was pregnant but they didn't say anything. That was silly but sweet.

"Boyfriends check out, their class and social schedules don't match in anything, they have basically never been in the same place on that campus."

They all sighed, turning back to the murder board.

"Parents?" Kate asked.

"Both sets have been notified, they identified the bodies this morning." Ryan said, running a hand through his hair.

Kate felt a stab of emotion at the thought of parents identifying their child in a morgue but pushed it to the back of her mind.

"Friends?" Kate asked, pulling herself onto her desk.

"We're going to the sorority that Melinda was in soon and Briar was in a flat so we'll go there after and talk to her flatmates."

Kate nodded, feeling like she wasn't pulling her weight.

"You could go over these, see if super cop here missed anything. Records, bills, transcripts." Esposito said, putting the box on the empty desk next to hers.

"Yeah, fresh eyes and all that."

Kate nodded as the boys walked towards the elevator.

-x-

The rumble of her stomach bought her back into reality. She was in a rush this morning after her unexpected outburst of emotion and didn't bring anything for lunch.

She could raid the fridge in the break room.

But it smelt funny and made her feel ill yesterday.

She slid her phone from the desk and opened her images folder. Inserting the batman symbol in the message, the same one he sent her all those months ago.

It took less than thirty seconds and her phone vibrated.

_R: 'What do you need? Are you ok? Where are you?'_

_K: 'Hungry. Forgot lunch. Precinct.'_

_R: 'What do you feel like? I can get you and Bug whatever you feel like._

_K: 'Fries. Lots of fries and a milkshake.'_

She knew it wasn't pregnancy cravings, she always wanted that. It was just a hyper need for it now.

A quarter of an hour later, her phone vibrated again.

_R: 'I'm in the foyer.'_

_K: 'Come up.'_

The last time he was here was the first and only fight they had had. She wanted him to come up; she needed to include him in this life now.

Their life.

Together.

With a baby.

-x-

"Hey." She smiled as he strode over to her carrying bags from Remy's.

"Hi." He nervously looked around the precinct. No one really looked at him twice, everyone was busy. Montgomery was on the phone.

"It's fine Rick, I'm not going to have a panic attack that you're here. Remember that I asked you to come."

"I know you did, here." He handed her the bag of fries and her chocolate shake.

"I hope you weren't doing anything, you got here fast."

He shook his head, "I was just about to go grocery shopping."

"Domestic." She smiled, putting a fry in her mouth.

Oh they were amazing. Perfectly cooked, perfect amount of salt, premium crispiness.

"Good?" He asked.

She nodded, mouth full of the heavenly delight of deep-fried potato.

"This the case?" He asked, looking at the murder board.

"Yeah." She answered, taking the top off her shake and dipping her fries in.

"Can I look?" He asked, looking towards Montgomery's office and back to Kate.

She nodded, thinking it wouldn't do any harm. He did write murder mysteries for a living, he could be the fresh eyes they needed.

"Yo, we pulled up nothing out of the ordinary with-" Esposito stopped, looking from Kate to Rick and back.

"Uh, hi." Rick took a step away from the murder board.

"Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan this is Rick Castle." Kate said, dipping another fry.

They shook hands, Ryan smiling and Esposito scowling at him.

"I have a gun." Esposito said out loud, eyeing up Rick.

"Uh-" Rick

"I have one too Espo and you probably don't want me to use it in the precinct do you?" Kate looked up from her fries, eyeing up Esposito.

He didn't answer.

Ryan just laughed, sitting down next to Kate, taking one of her fries.

She didn't mind, Rick had got her four servings.

"So what did you find?" She asked, handing the bag to Esposito who took it.

"Nothing, no connections."

"There must be some connection in there, they cannot be random." Kate rubbed the condensation from the milkshake cup.

"I think I may have a theory." Rick said, as everyone turned to him.

"What?" They all asked, all confused.

"Well, I had a quick look over the transcripts and noticed that even though they were studying different subjects they would have both gone to the library. English and music are very different subjects but they are both included in the arts program, which happens to have another library off campus for studying."

They all looked back to the murder board.

"Could be nothing." Rick shrugged.

"Where is it?" Kate asked, moving off her desk, walking towards the murder board.

"Corner of Mercer St. and Bleecker St." Rick read from the file.

"That's right in the middle of our kill zone. Right in-between the girls classes and their dorms." Kate looked up from the map.

"Let's go." Ryan said, leaping from the desk to quickly check in with Montgomery.

"No." Kate said, turning from Esposito to Rick who already had his mouth open.

"But-"

"No, you're not coming," She shook her head at him, "Stay here."

He huffed, crossing his arms and sitting down at her desk.

-x-

He was in Montgomery's office when they arrived back.

"You'll want to see this." Montgomery laughed, standing up and leading him to the viewing room.

Kate and the boys had their vests on, it made Rick feel uncomfortable knowing that she was just out there, possibly in danger and he was sitting in her Captain's office laughing at old stories of the Mayor and Montgomery.

Kate had taken her vest off when she entered the interrogation room.

"Mr. Dallows, do you know why you're here." She said sharply, taking the seat and slamming the file down on the table.

"No, you had no right to come into my workplace and pull me out like that." He said, leaning in closer to Kate, trying to push her buttons.

"Actually, I didn't mind when you cuffed me, I kind of enjoyed that." Dallows said, licking his lips.

She didn't even flinch.

Rick almost broke through the glass to punch the little sucker in the face.

"We were told by your supervisor that you were working when Melinda Colan and Briar Dere were studying in the Arts Study Space. Do you know them?"

"There are hundreds of people that are in there, I don't know them." He pushed away the photos that Kate had put in front of him.

"We were told they left after you were hassling them." Kate looked up to him finally, eyes closing in on him.

"What?" His voice was beginning to shake.

"Yeah, your boss said she noticed it and was going to say something because you were on the clock and all."

"It was after I finished work." He said, slamming his fist down on the table.

"She got him to admit he knows them." Rick said, turning to Montgomery. Ryan and Esposito had already taken their seats in the viewing room.

Montgomery smiled, turning back to the two-way mirror.

"So you do know them?" She asked again, pushing the photos back to him.

He knew he'd put himself in it.

"I- uh- I saw them. Yeah."

"Did you follow them after you left work, the timing fits you know?"

"No, what are you talking about lady?" He was getting restless, looking around the room.

He was guilty alright.

"I'm talking about the fact you followed these girls home because they obviously shut you down, look at you, you couldn't get them. You got angry didn't you? Angry that they didn't like you." Kate spoke quickly, getting him more angry by the second.

He pushed the desk towards her but she was quicker, pushing it back against him, it hitting him right in the stomach.

"You followed them and you killed them didn't you Drake, you killed them." She said loudly, standing to get better leverage in case he snapped again.

"They didn't give me a chance, they just laughed in my face." He yelled back.

"So what did you do?" She asked, her voice matching his.

"I shut them up."

Confession.

She sat back in the chair, shaking her head.

"I didn't mean that, I meant-"

"Save it for the DA, that was a confession. You're under arrest for the murder of Melinda Colan and Briar Dere." Kate stood, closing the file and walking towards the door.

"That might even be a record for you, Beckett." Esposito squeezed her shoulder as he walked past.

"Good job." Montgomery said, standing next to Kate.

"Thanks Captain, it was actually Rick here who put us in the right direction."

"Well, I have told him that he can come check out the murder board if it needs some fresh eyes," Montgomery smiled, "Now finish up that paper work and you can go home for the weekend. You'll be on call so I'd make it last."

"Thank you Sir."

They walked back to Kate's desk, she had kept up with the paperwork through out the case so it didn't take her long to finish up the loose ends and take down the murder board.

Rick sat quietly the whole time, watching her.

"Yo, Beckett, we're going to head out." Esposito called from his desk and Kate looked up and smiled.

"Have a good weekend if I don't see you before then." She said, waving them off.

"Thanks for the help, Castle." Ryan said, pulling his jacket on.

"Yeah, thanks bro." Esposito added, nodding at Rick.

"Glad to help." Rick smiled, waving the boys off.

It was another twenty minutes before Kate was ready. He helped her into her coat, doing up the buttons for her.

Usually she would hate this, today she liked it.

"It's killing you, isn't it?" She asked, stepping into the elevator and taking his hand.

"What is?"

"Not being able to talk about the fact Ryan called you by your last name and you got to hang out at the precinct."

"I feel like a real cop, Kate, it was so cool."

Kate just laughed, leaning into him.

-x-

When they got back to the loft Kate was exhausted and Rick was buzzing.

"It's like you've been in an action movie or something." She laughed as he paced the lounge.

She opened the fridge, pulling out a container of yogurt but put it back after smelling it. Her stomach was churning at the fruity smell.

"It was so crazy and hot. You were so hot in the interrogation room. I was worried sick when he pushed the table, Kate it was right next to your stomach, but then you pushed it back. Then you simply got the confession out of him, completely fooled him and it was sexy. So sexy."

She was laughing at him, putting her hand in the cookie jar.

"Kate, you have to have something with substance, you had fries for lunch." His voice changed into his authority voice, walking into the kitchen and pulling a container of pasta from his own lunch.

He put in the microwave, waited for the timer to go before spooning it into a bowl and handing it to Kate.

"Thanks." She said, taking the bowl from him.

He was back in the lounge, pacing and arms flying everywhere.

She sat at the kitchen counter watching him and eating her pasta. He made good pasta; it was chocked full with vegetables and flavours that melted perfect together.

"And you had your vest on, why did you have your vest on?" He turned to her, eyebrows furrowed.

"Just a precaution going into somewhere that a murderer could be." She shrugged, spooning more pasta into her mouth.

"Of course, I knew that. Esposito had a big gun."

Kate nodded.

"I like them, they're nice." He said, stopping in his tracks to look at Kate.

"Yes they are." She smiled, pleased that the introductions had been made without too much hazing from Ryan and Esposito.

Lanie would be angry she didn't get to see Rick at the precinct.

Esposito would have told her.

"I'm going to go write. Can I go write?" He walked to her, eyes wide.

"Of course." She shrugged, she didn't mind.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"Might watch some TV."

He kissed her softly, cradling her head in his hand. She pulled him closer, running her tongue over his lip.

She pushed him away before it wasn't possible to, "Go write." She smiled.

"Ok." He kissed her again, letting his arm fall from her neck to her side.

"Rick." She said, trying to push him away but she couldn't.

It was easy for him to pick her up from the bar stool, she wrapped her fingers around his neck, eyes watching each other as he walked them to the bedroom.

-x-

She walked through his office and he didn't even look up from the screen, his fingers typing furiously on the keyboard.

Alexis was in the kitchen, dressed in her pretty dress from the dance.

"Kate, I didn't know you were here." Martha smiled, putting a plate of pasta in front of Alexis.

"Yeah, took a nap." She smiled, watching Alexis carefully eat her pasta.

By took a nap she actually meant that she fell asleep after her and Rick finally gave into each other and slept together.

"I'm just about to run out to see a friend, are you staying? I popped in to tell Richard that I was going out but all I got was a grunt."

"Yeah, I'm staying."

Martha kissed Alexis on the cheek and waved Kate off.

Kate walked into the lounge leaving Alexis to eat her dinner, flopping down on the couch and turning the TV on. She heard Alexis go up the stairs and come back down in record timing.

"How was the dance?" Kate asked as Alexis stood in her pajamas by the couch.

"It was ok." Alexis looked to her feet and then back to Kate.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked, worry setting in.

"Yesterday, this girl in my class named Prue said that her mom and her friends were talking about my dad and you."

Kate's defensive wall shot through the roof.

"What were they saying?" Kate asked.

"That they saw you at the speech I gave and you're too normal for my dad and you wont stick around." Alexis blurted it out as fast as her mouth could go.

This wasn't good.

"Alexis, come here." Kate patted the sofa next to her and Alexis complied.

Kate took a deep breath.

"Look at me, I'm not going anywhere and if something happens in the future with your dad and I that none of us can control you'll always have me, I'll be here for you no matter what."

This was why Alexis was acting funny this morning; she was scared that Kate was going somewhere so she was trying to distance herself.

Alexis sighed, cuddling into Kate's side with her eyes fixed on Tangled that was playing on the Disney channel.

-x-

"Kate." Rick whispered, hand wrapped around her upper arm.

She slowly open her eyes, most of the lights in the loft had been turned off. Alexis was gone from the couch, she couldn't remember falling asleep.

"Alexis." Her voice croaked as she stumbled awake.

"I just took her to bed, you were both asleep out here." He smiled, pulling her by the hands to stand her up.

"Some parents of girls at her school were talking about us." Kate yawned, gripping his hand as she followed him into the bedroom.

"What?" He asked, turning to face her, eyes full of fear.

"Yeah, that's why she was acting weird this morning. Apparently I'm too normal for you and we wont last." Kate laughed, rolling her eyes.

Rick growled but Kate turned to him shaking her head.

"No, let it go. I told Alexis I was staying and that's all that needs to happen. Don't you dare go into that school guns blazing, it isn't what she needs. Parents say things in front of their kids that they don't think the kid will register, she's ok now."

Rick looked to Kate, shaking his head.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed his shoulders and walked past him.

"Kate, I'm sorry." He said, watching her braid her hair.

It wont stay in, he'll get frustrated when he wants to play with her hair soon and she'll take it out.

"Don't be, that'll just fuel them. Just so you know, Bug isn't going to that school if those women are still having kids."

"You called the baby Bug!" Rick smiled finally, she knew that would get him.

She rolled her eyes, climbing into bed.

"You were pretty invested in your writing. Get a new chapter for Derrick done?" She asked as he climbed in next to her.

"Not Derrick, something new."

"What do you mean something new?" She asked, confused by his answer.

"Just you wait." He smiled, kissing her.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone,<strong>

**Thanks always to _CaskettShipper _for being my beta.**

**Hope you all like the long chapter, it just kept going!**

**Another big thanks to _SomeHeartsLove _who read the ENTIRE story the other day and left a review on every single chapter. They seriously made my day when I was writing this chapter.**

**Also, thank you to everyone else that reviews and favors. You mean the world to me. **

**Hannah**


	23. Chapter 23

_Birthdaygirl27, you are not allowed to read this until you've been to all your classes!_

Chapter Twenty-Three

They had decided on a small doctors practice that was out of the way of the city. Rick took Alexis there so Kate had agreed to move there too, he'd rung the hospital and got them to transfer all the papers over.

"Kate Beckett." The nurse smiled and they both stood, eyes fixed on each other as they followed the nurse into the doctors office.

"Kate, hi." The doctor smiled at Kate, shaking her hand and turned to Rick.

"Rick." He said and extended his hand to the doctor as well.

"Good to meet you, congratulations are in order I believe."

Rick beamed at the doctor as they sat down in the chairs facing the desk.

"Thank you." Kate said, feeling completely at ease in the office.

Dr. Stella Patrick was a fifty-something year old doctor specializing in babies. She was perky and cheerful all of the time, which Kate was both confused and happy about.

"Right, I've been looking over your bloods and results from the hospital and the doctors notes from your examination in the hospital, you're eight weeks along now. How have you been feeling since you were released?"

"Yeah, I've been fine. Still getting morning sickness but it's easier to control." Kate answered her.

Dr. Patrick nodded, quickly writing something down.

"What about your weight? Noticed any change, you're a petite little thing so you'd probably notice the change."

Kate hadn't even thought about it. Her bras were feeling a little more full now she thought about it but nothing else was out of the ordinary.

"Not really, am I supposed to notice?"

The doctor laughed, scribbling another note down.

"At this stage in your pregnancy it's normal to have put a little bit of weight on. The hormones and realisation of being pregnant sometimes causes woman to overeat, it's not abnormal. Pre-natal tests are also something to think about, usually we do them between the eight to ten week mark so you two can take these home and have a look, if you've got any questions, ring me or come in and we'll have a talk but I'll let you both discuss it first. Alright Kate, up on the table."

She prodded and poked Kate's belly, nodding as she went.

"At this stage you're perfectly healthy and in perfect shape to be having a baby. Until you decide on the tests this is all we can do. Any questions?"

Rick shook his head, looking to Kate. He wanted to ask a question but Kate would be pissed if he did, it wasn't his place.

"I'm a detective with the NYPD and I'm worried about how safe it'll be with being pregnant."

Just the question that Rick wanted to ask.

The doctor smiled, "My suggestion is just keep doing what you're doing for now. Until you're showing and you are past the first trimester then just be more attentive to your surroundings and take a back seat to some things if you can."

Kate nodded, feeling a little better now.

"What about certain foods?" Rick asked.

"Some mothers jump off the deep end and cut out so much from their diet. I suggest keep eating what you normally eat and see how your body reacts to it. The only concern is seafood and chicken, which you'll have to be very careful with. Prepare it carefully and you'll be right."

Kate really liked this doctor.

"When people find out they are carrying a child they turn to panic mode. Get the nursery ready in the first month, pick all the clothes out, stop eating what they want and it just gets too much, they break down and it's not healthy for them or the baby. I encourage you to just live normally and take each day as it comes. You're taking the medications and staying healthy and that's all you can do right now."

-x-

"I really like that doctor." Rick smiled, cutting up the carrots for the salad.

Kate nodded, reading over Alexis' homework book.

She'd given them a dozen pamphlets that were now securely tucked away in Rick's sock drawer.

"Do you want olives, Babe?" Rick asked, looking over the shelves in the fridge.

"Don't babe me. No, I don't." Kate answered, not even looking up to him.

Rick laughed, shaking his head and putting the olives back down.

"Alexis' friends mom just had a baby, look." Kate pushed the book towards Rick.

He read over the story she had written about how they had brought the baby into school to pick up Eliza and how everyone got a cuddle.

"Ask her about it." Kate said, pulling the book back.

"Why?"

"I just want to see what she says about it." Kate shrugged, reaching out and grabbing a piece of carrot from the chopping board.

-x-

"Hey sweetie, Kate was reading your homework book. You didn't tell me Eliza had a new baby brother."

"Yeah." Alexis shrugged, eating the tomato from her salad first.

"So you got a cuddle, that's pretty cool." Rick was easing into the conversation, he didn't want to give Alexis suspicions about him and Kate and the near future.

"Yeah, it's only a baby."

Kate's stomach fell, she felt winded and everything tightened.

This was it.

Alexis was his first. She knew that and she knew it wouldn't change so if Alexis wasn't onboard with the new situation then she didn't know what was going to happen.

Rick was watching her but she wouldn't look up to him. She kept her eyes glued to her glass, trying to keep herself breathing.

"Only a baby? Alexis that isn't very nice." Rick pushed, trying to get the story from Alexis.

Alexis shrugged again.

"I bet Eliza was pretty happy about having a new sibling?" Rick asked, watching her reaction.

"She seemed like she was, I don't know why though."

Kate's stomach hit the floor.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked, deciding she needed to involve herself or Alexis could pick up on it.

"I don't know why there is such a big deal about it. People have babies all the time, it's not that special."

Kate bit her bottom lip; she had no idea what to say.

"It is special, Alexis. It's two people that love each other bringing a child into the world. That's really special." Rick's voice was steady and fatherly.

"Just as long as you don't do it, I don't care."

"Do what?" Rick asked, stalling the conversation.

"Have a baby."

Kate had to look away, this was killing her.

Rick was stumped and looking at Kate. This isn't exactly how he thought Alexis would feel about this. She was level headed and mature for her age, she loved Kate and had asked him a few times over the years if he'd ever have another baby but now he was clueless.

Kate wouldn't look up from her plate, she was afraid if she did then she'd cry. These hormones were not her friend lately and what Alexis had just said was the topping on the cake.

"You'd never want a sibling?" Rick asked, almost wincing at his own question.

"Not really." Alexis shook her head, pushing her empty plate away from her.

They sat in silence, Kate refusing to look at either of them.

"Can I go watch TV now? Before I go to bed." Alexis asked, turning to her father.

Rick nodded.

Alexis picked up her plate, walked to the kitchen and left it on the bench.

She was walking through the lounge when she stopped and turned to her dad and Kate.

"One condition." She said, chewing her bottom lip. A habit Rick was sure she'd picked up from Kate.

"What do you mean, sweetie?" Rick asked, turning to face her.

Kate finally looked up from her plate to look at Alexis.

"I would be ok with you having another baby on one condition."

"What would that be?" Rick asked.

"It has to be with Kate." She smiled, turning around and walked into the lounge.

Kate felt her fork drop from her hand, bouncing on the table.

"Did that just happen?" He asked, turning to face her.

The same shock expression on both of their faces.

Kate nodded, trying to regulate her breathing.

-x-

Rick walked into the bedroom with the same smile he'd had on his face all night since Alexis had announced she'd be ok with having a new brother or sister, but only if it was half Kate.

"What are you doing?" He asked, pulling his shirt off.

She was sitting in her bra and underwear on the bed reading the pamphlets that Dr. Patrick had given them that morning with an open jar of olives and a fork.

"Reading." She shrugged.

"Yeah I see that, I was wondering more about the olive situation you've got going on." He was trying not to laugh as he pulled his pants off, climbing onto the bed.

"Hungry." She replied, flicking over the paper to read the other side.

"You didn't want them in your salad and yet you're eating them from the jar?"

Now he was laughing.

"I didn't want them then, it says here that the partners have an equal role in pregnancy. I'm pretty sure that means you aren't allowed to laugh at my eating habits." Kate looked up to him, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry." He smiled, squeezing her thigh.

"Ew." She dropped the pamphlet before falling back into the pillows, covering her face with her hands.

"What?" He asked, moving the olives to the bedside drawers.

"That one's about giving birth."

Rick laughed, leaning over her and pulling her hands away before kissing her.

She let him deepen the kiss, his tongue running along her bottom lip before gently nibbling it. She felt herself arch into him, a moan escaping her mouth.

"You taste like olives." He said, before kissing her again.

She pushed him off her and moved from the bed.

"What?" He asked, following her into the bathroom.

"Not exactly the sexiest of things to be told."

"I wasn't complaining." He said, standing behind her as she brushed her teeth.

She just rolled her eyes at him.

"We could call the baby Olive if it's a girl." Rick smiled at her in the mirror.

"Better than bug." She said, pulling her hair up and tying it loosely.

"Bug is cute, you know it." He laughed, taking his toothbrush out of the holder as Kate washed her face.

"Olive Bug Beckett-Castle. I like it, it's unique." He said, putting the pamphlets back in the drawer and ruffling his pillow.

"No." She shook her head, climbing over him to get to her side of the bed, free of her make up and hair tied back.

Rick sighed.

"Alexis could pick a better name than that." Kate said, turning off the lamp so the room was completely dark.

"She'd love it to be called Olive or maybe Oliver for a boy."

"I was so scared when she said she didn't want you to have anymore babies." Kate said, closing her eyes.

"But she does, only if it's with you though." He was smiling.

"That moment when she said she didn't want any siblings, Rick, my heart stopped."

"But she does and it's fine."

"At one point I was positive I was going to be sleeping at my apartment tonight. She's your first born, Rick, it been just the two of you for years and I can't compete. If she hadn't have said what she did last, I don't know what I was going to do."

"Kate, do not say that." He moved closer to her, his hand on her cheek.

"It's what I was thinking."

"Well don't ever think that again. Alexis is the one thing in my life that I'm completely and utterly thankful for, but you, Alexis and that tiny baby are what I live for now. When it was just the two of us I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as I did Alexis but I feel in love with you and I was so happy and content with what I had been given in my life. I didn't think it was possible to love anything else and now this, this tiny little bug has perfectly filled my heart."

He kissed her, that kiss she loved; the one that told her everything would be all right.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, taking his hand from her cheek and holding it against her chest.

"What can I do to make you believe me?" He asked, sighing as she kissed the top of his hand.

"Just be you, it's all I need."

* * *

><p><strong>Hello,<strong>

**Short chapter I know, but I had to get it out.**

**This one is for _Birthdaygirl27 _who guilted me into a new chapter by Monday. Well it's a little early but here you go, hope you have a wonderful birthday and the classes weren't too rough on your presumed hangover.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Heaps of you are new to this story...welcome and I hope you're enjoying it.**

**To all of you that have stuck with me these past twenty-three chapters and reviewed, I know you're there. I love seeing the same names pop up in reviews.**

**You lot just make me so dang happy.**

**Hannah. x**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Do not own Castle, same as always.

* * *

><p>Chapter Twenty- Four<p>

Week of pregnancy: Nine

"Are you sure this is alright?" Rick asked, throwing clothes into a bag.

"Yes, why are you fretting?" She asked, looking up from her book.

"You've never looked after her alone and it's two nights."

"You think I'm incapable of looking after a child? Well you might get a surprise in seven months when they hand me a baby and I can look after it." She snapped, she was pissed off at him.

He was making such a big deal about this and her stupid hormones weren't helping.

"Kate." He sighed, leaving the bag and sitting down next to her.

She turned the page, refusing to look at him.

"It's not how I meant it, you know that. I trust you completely and I know you can look after her."

"Then why say it?" She finally looked up at him, bottom lip trembling.

"This week was rough on you, you had a tough case and barely slept. Then there was the morning sickness and dizzy spell the other night. I feel like I'm abandoning you and her and I don't like it."

"I've got the three days off, I'm not on a case."

"I know, I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to go but I'm really happy you're here." He smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Martha will be back on Monday?" She asked, putting the book on his nightstand.

"Yeah, in the afternoon. You might have to pick Alexis up from school but I'll let you know."

Rick was off to San Francisco again to finish a few signings and make up from leaving when Kate was sick. He had refused to begin with but Kate pushed him into it knowing how upset she would be if it had been her standing in line and he'd run off.

Martha had been away on a retreat for the week and Kate was in charge of Alexis.

"I'm going to miss you." He said, moving up the bed.

"I think I'll be fine." She smiled, teasing him.

"Ouch." He said, pouting and lower his head to her stomach.

He rested his head on her stomach and sighed.

"It's only two days." She whispered, running her hand through his hair.

"I know." He said so quietly, she barely heard it.

"You'll be back before you even have time to miss us." She was trying to make this better, she hadn't realised how much was this affecting him.

"Mmhm." He responded.

"Rick, look at me." She tugged his hair gently.

He complied, looking up to her.

"It will be Monday night before you know it."

He smiled, leaning down to kiss her. She knew she hadn't completely broken through the barrier of worry but she was close.

"You have to pack, the car will be here in an hour." She protested, words blurry as he kissed down her neck.

"That means I have fifty-five minutes until I need to leave and I have everything in my bag I need." He smiled, tugging her shirt over her head.

"Rick." She sighed, giving into him when her felt him kiss her stomach.

-x-

"Kate!" Alexis beamed, running down the steps at her school.

"Hey baby." Kate smiled; wrapping her arms around Alexis, who had basically jumped on Kate.

Kate caught the looks from the other moms. Their raised eyebrows and smirks at each other made it obvious they were the ones they were talking about how she and Rick wouldn't last. Kate smiled politely at them, grabbing Alexis' hand and beginning the walk home.

"How was school?" Kate asked, looking down to Alexis as they walked.

"It was alright, bit boring actually. I got a birthday invite."

"Oh that's exciting. For when?"

"Tomorrow." Alexis sighed, looking up to Kate.

"Tomorrow? That's not that much notice."

"I know. Her name is Emily and her birthday is next month but her mom is in the Marines and she has to go to work for a few months so they quickly organised a party for her. We've only just become friends, I like her better than the other girls."

Kate smiled, nodding as Alexis spoke. Mom in the marines? Going to work for a few months? Her eyes were tearing up because Alexis clearly didn't understand what the job was that her friend's mom did.

It was a job that she might not come home from.

Like her job.

"What kind of present do you want to get her?" Kate asked.

"I can go?" Alexis asked.

"Of course!" Kate smiled, she wasn't going to say no when Alexis was making friends with girls in her class that clearly didn't have the plastic parents like so many other girls at her school.

"But we were supposed to spend the weekend together? I know you took it off work." Alexis stopped walking, frowning up at Kate.

"We still have tomorrow night and Sunday. Don't panic about it, you should go to this party."

"We could look in this shop just up here?" Alexis asked quietly.

"Perfect."

-x-

Kate was exhausted as she climbed into Rick's bed.

They'd shopped for an hour, picking the perfect present for Emily. They decided on a Hello Kitty soft toy and a bagful of stationary supplies. Alexis was beaming with her choice.

They had picked up pizza on the way home, ate it on the floor in the lounge and watched Beauty and the Beast. Alexis had showered and Kate cleaned up the loft and then braided Alexis' hair so it would be curly for the party.

Alexis had fallen asleep after one book and Kate had almost fallen asleep when she did. It took all her strength to pull herself from the bed and walk down the stairs.

There were clothes all over the floor from where she'd pulled them off and left them where they fell. Rick's shirt was under his pillow and she pulled it over her head. The smell of him surrounding her as she pulled the blankets up around her and snuggled in.

When her phone rung a few moments she groaned. She was comfortable and didn't want to move.

She reached behind her, grabbing her phone. Answering it without opening her eyes.

"Beckett."

"Hey, you sound sleepy."

His voice filled the room. Her eyes opened and she felt that prang of emotion.

"I'm in bed." She said, sitting up a little.

"I rung as early as I could. I've just got out of the meet and greet."

"How was it?" She asked.

"Really good, they forgave me for ditching the last time. I did have to put the charm on, sign some chests." He waited for her response.

"Ew." Kate groaned.

"I'm sorry." He laughed, knowing she wasn't angry.

"It's fine. I hope you remembered you have a child, girlfriend and a bug at home."

"It's all I thought about, Kate. You're in bed early." His voice was light but she could hear the hint of worry.

"Well someone wore me out this afternoon and then Alexis and I walked around looking for a birthday present for this party tomorrow and then I vacuumed."

Rick was laughing.

"I'm sorry I wore you out, I was feeling very tired on the plane if it's any consolation. What party?" He asked.

"Emily's birthday. She only got the invite today at school but the party is tomorrow so we had to get the present today. Her mom is in the Marines and it sounds like she's being deployed."

"Kate." He sighed.

"It's fine. We got the present, braided her hair and picked her dress."

"Thank you, I'm glad she's making new friends."

"I got the glare from a few of the mothers today. I wanted to punch them."

Rick laughed again, loud this time.

"I know, I'm sorry you have to deal with them."

"What do I do tomorrow?" Kate asked nervously.

"What do you mean?"

"Do I just drop Alexis there? She hasn't been there before so I'm nervous. Do I go in? Do I stay?" She asked, falling back into the pillows.

"Depends on the parents. If she is a Marine then I'm pretty sure it's ok to leave her there. Go in with her when you drop her off though, Alexis hates going into things alone."

"Ok."

"Kate, she could have missed this party." He sighed.

"No, she needs to make better friends. This is a good chance. It'll be fine, I just haven't done it before."

"I love you." He cut her off and she smiled into the pillow.

"Yeah, well I love you too." She said back, closing her eyes.

"How's bug?" He asked.

"Good. My tummy feels weird though." Kate kind of laughed, running her hands over her stomach.

"What?"

"Don't panic, I'm fine. It feels squishy."

"Squishy?" He asked, voice calm again.

"Yeah."

"Well your stomach was completely flat, any added weight would show." He said, wincing on the other end of the line.

"Did you just say that I'm getting fat?" She asked, a smile on her face.

"No, well, no, you're pregnant. It's different." He tried.

She was laughing and he sighed in relief.

"I wish you were here." She said when she had finally stopped laughing.

"You were the one that told me this morning that it was only two days and it would be fine." He smirked, knowing she would do this.

"I know, but your bed it really big and I don't like being alone in it. Maybe the doorman will come up for a snuggle"

"Kate." He growled and she laughed.

"What?"

"That's not even funny." He said, but he was laughing too.

"I'm sorry." She yawned.

"Go to sleep, Kate. Give Alexis a big kiss for me tomorrow and I'll ring around lunchtime."

"Ok. Bye." She yawned again.

"Goodnight gorgeous." He said into the phone, regret in his voice.

"Goodnight babe." She said, pushing the phone under the pillow.

Did she just call him babe?

He'd tell her in the morning if she did.

-x-

"Hi there." Kate smiled, walking through the doors of the open apartment.

"Hi, I'm Emily's mom Matteah. You must be Alexis and Mrs. Castle?" The woman smiled, walking over to Kate and Alexis, who was strategically standing behind Kate.

"Just Kate." Kate smiled, shaking the hand of the woman.

"Hi." Alexis said quietly, taking a step away from Kate. She was gripping the present bag so tightly.

"Emily is in the lounge if you want to go in."

Alexis smiled and turned to Kate.

"Off you go." Kate smiled, watching Alexis run into the lounge.

"Come into the kitchen, that's where the parents are trying to stay sane. She's gorgeous by the way." Matteah smiled.

Kate smiled, following Matteah into the kitchen.

"This is Kate Castle." She smiled, introducing her when she walked into the kitchen.

Two other women sat in the kitchen, all looking up from the magazine on the table.

"I didn't know Rick got married." One of them smiled, looking from Matteah to Kate.

"We're not married." Kate said, hoping it wouldn't get awkward.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed." Matteah looked embarrassed.

"It's fine, I didn't correct you either." Kate shrugged, hoping it would be the end of that.

"But you're together?" One of the other moms asked.

"Yeah, we are."

"Cool. He's a nice guy."

"Which is one is Rick?" The blonde asked, looking to the other woman.

"The writer. He's the really sexy one. Gorgeous chocolate brown hair, eyes that you could swim in, a smile that could melt you."

"Oh yeah, He is a nice guy."

They all turned to Kate and smiled.

"I'm sorry. That was weird that I just called your boyfriend sexy. I'm pregnant so I tend to say really inappropriate things without thinking about them. I'm Sophie."

"It's fine, congratulations." Kate shook her hand as well.

"This is Rena."

Kate shook her hand too.

"How's Brad holding up?" Sophie asked, leaning to look through the swinging doors.

"He'll be fine. Brad's my husband, and currently keeping eight children happy and out of trouble." Matteah smiled.

"I'm glad that Sheryl didn't stay, I can't stand that woman." Rena rolled her eyes.

Kate took the seat at the island in the kitchen and wondered who Sheryl was.

"She's Ashley's mom. Queen of the powderpuffs." Sophie said dramatically and Matteah laughed.

"Ashley is a nice girl though, her father is amazing. Let's hope she stays like it." Rena said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Come on, we sound just as bad as them. Not a good impression for Kate." Matteah said, handing Kate a glass.

"Sorry. We're the moms at Marlowe that don't have shares in Gucci and bathe in perfume." Sophie said with flare.

"I've run into a few of them, glad to know everyone at that school isn't like that." Kate said, pouring lemonade into her glass.

"So what do you do for a job?" Rena asked.

"I'm actually a homicide detective with the NYPD." Kate answered, looking to her drink. This was always an awkward conversation change.

"That's really awesome. I'm in the Marines, Rena is a biology teacher at high school at Marlowe and Sophie, when she isn't pregnant, is a lawyer at a non-profit firm."

"Wow." Kate was quite shocked she wasn't expecting that.

Sophie pushed away her lemonade.

"Too fizzy for the baby, this one is so different. Can't drink anything fizzy or I get all bloaty."

"How many have you had? If you don't mind me asking." Kate asked, wondering if she would react the same with the lemonade.

"This is number four. The other three are in there, you're welcome to take a few home if you like." Sophie smiled and Rena laughed.

"Four?" Kate asked, she didn't think she heard correctly.

"She's mad." Matteah laughed.

"How about you Kate? I'm now guessing Alexis isn't yours." Rena asked, taking a cracker from the plate and adding cheese.

"No kids and no, Alexis isn't mine."

"She's a great kid. Rick's done an amazing job." Sophie said, digging her hand into a bag of sweets.

"Yeah he really has, she surprises me everyday."

-x-

Alexis was telling Rick all about the party. She was bouncing around the lounge and Kate was worried about the sugar consumption at the party.

"Hang on Daddy, I have to put on my pajamas." Alexis passed the phone to Kate and bolted up the stairs.

"Hey." Kate smiled into the phone.

"Hey you, big day?" He asked.

His voice sounded amazing. She missed him.

"You have no idea and your daughter is running around on a full tank of sugar." Kate said, pulling her socks on.

Well they were actually his socks.

She was just borrowing them.

"She'll crash. Sounds like she had fun though, which is so weird because usually she hates going to those things but these girls sound different."

"They are and so are the parents. They are actually normal."

Rick was laughing when Alexis stood patiently at the top of the stairs.

"Oh, she's waiting for me." Kate said quickly going up the stairs and following Alexis into her room.

Alexis held out her hand and Kate handed over the phone.

"You're on speaker, Daddy." She smiled, gently getting into bed. She patted the bed next to her for Kate to join her.

"Which book?" He asked.

"The one about the baby bear." Alexis smiled.

Rick began to read and Alexis followed with her finger, reading the words along with him. Kate was silent, heart slightly aching at what was happening in front of her.

Rick knew the book, knew all the pauses and when the pages needed to be turned. He'd wait for her to hum and he'd continue reading.

By the end of the book Alexis was half asleep, barely able to hold the book up.

"Say goodnight to Daddy." Kate whispered, holding the phone to Alexis.

"Night. Miss you." Alexis managed to get out before falling asleep.

Kate held the phone and turned off the light and then closed her door.

"She's asleep." She said, quietly flicking the hallway light off.

"I knew she would fall asleep." He said proudly.

"That was amazing." She said, sitting on the bottom stair.

"What?"

"The way you read her the book even though you're on the other side of the country." Kate's voice was quiet and shy.

"I've read them so many times that I know most of them off by heart. So tell me about the moms."

"Rick, they were so nice and normal. They talked about everything and totally judged the PTA moms. One of them actually called you sexy but she put it down to being pregnant and saying inappropriate things." Kate laughed.

"I think all pregnant people think I'm sexy. Take the hint, Detective."

"Yes, you're sexy. I'm sure you've heard that a million times already today." Kate rolled eyes.

"Thank you. I appreciate it and even though I was told a number of times today, it only means anything when it comes from you."

Kate huffed.

"Don't like sharing me?" He asked, knowing she would be jealous.

"I'm not jealous. Don't even use that with me." She joked.

She was jealous though.

Seriously hormonally jealous.

"I'm sorry." He said, his voice so full of a fake apology.

"I'm going to read in bed and for your punishment, I'm going to read Connelly and not you." Kate said, knowing that would get him jealous.

"Kate, that's not fair." He moaned into the phone.

"Barely wearing anything, wrapped up in your blankets and totally mesmerized by Connelly sounds like a wonderful plan to me."

"You are killing me." Rick said, out of breath on the phone.

"Jealous?" She asked, climbing into his bed.

"You have no idea, Kate, don't read him."

"I need to read before I go to bed." She exhaled, curling up around his pillow.

"I'll read to you. Please let me." He said, hoping she would let him.

"Ok." She said quietly, heart beating a million times a minute.

"Until you fall asleep, don't fight it either."

She hummed in response.

He started out, the first page of the Storm series. She remembered reading that first page when she was tired and cold, sitting on the floor in her room. Her mother was dead and she felt like a lost cause.

Now years later, she was in a big warm bed with a beautiful girl asleep upstairs, The man who wrote the book reading to her on the phone, the same man that loved her and a tiny baby that already held the strings to her heart.

"Rick." She interrupted him.

"Yeah."

"I love you." Kate said, needing to say it.

"I love you more." He said and without a beat, picked up where he was reading from.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Note: First off, I would like to thank you all for being patient with this and all your wonderful messages about my Aunty. It's still so fresh and hurting everyday but I had to start writing again. Start getting my brain moving again.<strong>

**I've got four other stories going at the moment but I wanted to give you a chapter of this first. I don't want to keep you waiting any longer.**

**I also started a new one called _Change Your Mind , _It's a little different to anything I've done before but you should check it out.**

**Thanks again and tell me what you think.**

**Hannah. x**


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I wish.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Week: Nine and a half.

* * *

><p>"Kate."<p>

She stirred, stretching out before falling back to sleep.

"Kate."

She heard it again; it was Rick calling her name. But his plane had been delayed till the next morning so there was no way it could be him.

"Kate, open your eyes." He whispered into her ear.

Her eyes shot open and she rolled over to see him sitting on the side of the bed.

"Rick?" She rubbed her eyes.

"Hey you." He smiled, reaching for her hand but she moved quicker, almost tipping him off the bed.

She was in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck tightly and her face pressed to his chest.

He rubbed lazy circles on her back until she was ready to sit up and face him.

"You got back." She whispered, sitting up.

"I drove to LA and flew from there. I needed to get home." He was tired, actually exhausted, but he was smiling.

She kissed him, letting her lips gently run over his before he deepened it. When her fingers tangled in his hair she had to pull back.

"Your child is asleep right there and I'd rather her not wake up to see this." Kate smiled into his ear.

"Why is she in here?" He asked, looking over to Alexis. She was curled up on Kate's side of the bed.

"She was really excited about seeing you when you got home and when I had to tell her that you weren't coming she was a bit disappointed so we watched some movies in here and snuggled up. Is that ok?"

Kate bit her bottom lip, wondering if she had done something wrong.

"Kate, yes it's ok." He kissed her, hands wrapped around her waist, "Walking in here and seeing you both in here was beautiful. I'm so lucky." He kissed her again.

"Daddy?" Alexis' voice filled the room and they both turned to her.

"Hey, Pumpkin." Rick smiled, reaching out to run a finger over her cheek.

Kate moved back to sit on the bed and Rick climbed up properly.

"I missed you." Rick smiled, leaning over to give Alexis a kiss on the cheek.

"I missed you too, but I had Kate here so it wasn't too bad." Alexis smiled.

"I'm glad Kate was here. How is Grams?" Rick asked.

"She's got the flu so she stayed away. I talked to her on the phone and it sounds pretty bad. We should send some flowers to her."

Rick nodded, leaning back down and grabbing something from the floor that Kate hadn't seen before.

"Presents?" Alexis face lit up as she sat.

"You can open them but then you have to go back to sleep. It's too early to stay awake."

Alexis nodded as Rick handed her the bag.

It was more like a Santa sack of presents.

Kate raised an eyebrow at him and rolled her eyes. He'd only been gone two days and he'd had time to shop?

"Don't knock the present buying, you got one as well." Rick laughed before handing Kate a bag. It was smaller than Alexis' but was just as heavy.

"Rick." She scowled.

"What? You really think I'd go away and not bring anything back."

"You were gone for two days. This is absurd."

"Just open it. It's from me to thank you for looking after Alexis." He smiled, turning back to Alexis who was reading through a new book he'd picked up.

"Dad, this is amazing." She looked up smiling, holding the book up to show Kate.

"What is it about?" Kate asked, looking up for a distraction from her bag.

"It's all about Pandas!" Alexis basically squealed and Kate smiled, thinking back to one of the first times that they had spent time together.

Then the squealing got louder when she pulled out a panda soft toy.

"Alexis, it's the middle of the night, inside voices please." Rick laughed but Kate could see just how tired he was.

"Open yours." He smiled, squeezing her knee.

She huffed before sliding the gift tape off the bag and looking inside. She pulled out a bottle of her favourite perfume and eyeballed Rick.

"It's your favourite." He shrugged.

"It is, but I still have half a bottle."

"But this one you can keep here, so you have one at your apartment and one here."

She bit her bottom lip, looking up to him.

"Dad!" Alexis squealed and they looked over to her.

She was holding up a box set of Disney movies.

"That's it, monkey, bedtime for you." He laughed scooping her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

Alexis managed to grab the bag and held onto it tight.

"Wait!" Alexis shrieked as Rick tickled her.

"What?" He asked, pulling her back so she was the right way up.

"I didn't say goodnight to Kate."

Rick put her down, taking the bag from her and pulling her blanket from the bed.

"Night." She smiled, hugging Kate and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Kate's heart swelled as she said goodnight to Alexis.

"Thanks for looking after me too, it was the best." Alexis look back to Kate and smiled.

"Anytime." Kate said, completely and utterly meaning it.

"When you finish that bag, there is another one on the floor." Rick smiled before closing the door gently and taking Alexis back to her bedroom.

She emptied the contents of the bag onto the bed.

There was the nail polish she'd said she liked one day when she flicked through a magazine, a necklace that looked like the one she saw in a boutique when they were out shopping one day, a packet of milk duds because she told him over a month ago that she missed them but always forgot to buy them and a book she had wanted to read but didn't have time.

Everything was something that she'd seen or talked about without even thinking about it. She forgot that he filed everything away for future use, that he never forgot anything.

She put everything back in the bag and let it gently drop to the floor. The other bag sat next to it.

It was smaller and white, a small note tucked into the top.

She pulled it out, opening it to read his handwriting.

'_I know you wanted to wait till the first trimester is over but I just had to get this after the stories about the PTA moms. _

_You'll see why._

_I love you._

_R.'_

Her breath hitched as she pulled the bag open. Inside was something wrapped up in gorgeous white tissue paper that felt like silk.

Her hands were shaking as she unwrapped it. Inside was a tiny white onsie with words written on the front.

'_My Mummy can arrest your Mummy.'_

She laughed, holding the material so tightly.

"Hey."

She looked up to the door to find Rick leaning against it with a sheepish smile on his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, only taking a second to reach her.

She touched her face and felt that it was wet. She was crying? She didn't realise.

"Nothing." She smiled, pulling him down onto the bed with her in a bone-crushing embrace.

"Why the tears?" He asked, leaning up to see her beneath him.

"I'm happy." She smiled, cupping his cheek and bringing him down to kiss her.

He pulled away from her and looked down to the onsie still clutched in her hand.

"Do you like it?" He asked, his voice filled with a hint of nervousness.

"I love it." She laughed, before kissing him again.

-x-

"Do you have to go to work today?" Rick asked, lying on the bed watching her get ready.

"I've had three days off, I think it's time to go back." She smiled.

It was late morning; Rick had already got up and taken Alexis to school. He'd brought back breakfast and they'd shared it in bed.

"But you said you didn't have a case and it was just paperwork." He whined.

"I know but I still have to do my share, the boys have been working nonstop and I need to get back and help them." She was standing in her bra and underwear in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Come here." He said, sitting up quickly and holding his hand out to her.

"What?" She asked, suddenly worried.

He shook his head, pulling her over to him.

His hand ran along her stomach, and he looked up to her.

"Look." He turned her so she could see herself in the full-length mirror.

His hand moved so she could see her stomach. Kate's stomach wasn't as flat as usual; there was a small swell.

"Kate, look." His voice was full of wonder and love.

It was barely there but after you noticed it, it looked huge. To anyone else it looked like she had eaten a large lunch or binged on junk food all weekend but to the two of them, it was sure proof that she was pregnant.

"How didn't I see that?" She looked at her stomach on the side, which showed the bump even more.

"You said it felt squishy, you've probably only looked at it when you were laying down."

Kate nodded, not sure what else to say to him.

He tugged her hips closer to where he sat and ran his fingers over the tiny bump again.

"Bug's getting so big now." He smiled, leaning in and kissing her stomach softly.

"Rick, look." She turned back to the mirror again, fingers running over her stomach.

"I know." He smiled up to her. His eyes were full of tears and so were hers.

"I love you." He said, finally breaking the stare.

She choked on her words, not realising how emotional she was.

"I love you, too."

-x-

The paperwork was kicking her ass. She hated it so much that she wanted to hang it up down in the firing range and shoot at it until there was more paper left.

She didn't want to be there, stuck at the precinct with only paperwork to do.

A case would at least let her think about something else.

"Beckett?"

She looked up to find Esposito and Ryan standing by her desk.

"Yeah?" She asked, putting the pen down.

"We were wondering if you wanted to get some dinner, or something?" Ryan asked, looking around the room.

Rick had made her dinner. He'd made a heap of pasta before he dropped Alexis at school. She woke to the smell of it cooking and wondered what time it was.

"Uh, Rick made me some already."

She knew where they were going with this. She'd walked into the precinct with the three containers and the contents could still be smelt.

"Oh really, what did he make you?" Esposito asked, looking to the break room and then back to Beckett.

"Pasta. It's amazing too, got chicken and all these vegetables with this creamy tomato sauce. Absolute heaven."

"And, and he sent you here with three containers?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, why three?" Esposito added.

"In case I'm really hungry." She laughed, seeing how far she could string them along.

"Beckett." Ryan whined. An actual NYPD homicide detective whined about pasta.

"Fine, he made extra because I always complain about having to get the crap takeout from down the street and he wanted to thank you both for covering for me for the weekend." She smiled.

"You mean we can have the pasta?" Esposito asked, eyes bludging.

"Yes, but only if you heat mine up and bring it to me." She laughed as the boys made their way to the break room.

_K: 'Think you may have got yourself a new fan club. Boys were thrilled with dinner and send much thanks.'_

_R: 'I'm glad. Coming home soon?'_

_K: 'I wish. Contemplated shooting the paperwork at the firing range too.'_

_R: 'The thought of you doing that is far too hot. When will you be home?'_

_K: 'Not until tomorrow, I'll go back to mine and get some more clothes and sort out some stuff. We could meet for lunch?'_

_R: 'Breakfast? Lunch is too far away.'_

_K: 'Done.'_

_R: 'Tell me if you need me to send Alfred for anything.'_

Kate laughed at his message. She loved that they still had the banter about Batman. It had been going on since they first started dating and made her feel so warm.

_K: 'I will. Promise me you wont stare at the phone all night though.'_

_R: 'Can't promise but I will try. Give Bug a kiss. I love you.'_

_K: 'I will. Give Alexis one from me too. I love you more.'_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello all, so basically not a lot happened in this chapter and it was basically fluff, but it's the calm before the storm...**

**Hope you all had/having a wonderful weekend.**

**Hannah**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Week: Eleven.

* * *

><p>She'd spent the night at her apartment. She didn't think that she would sleep at all but as soon as she hit the pillow, she was out cold.<p>

Walking around in the morning felt odd, this was all her stuff but yet, she felt like nothing was hers. She missed her apartment, missed the way that she had set things up and how her favourite things were here. She missed being able to sit on the floor and flick through boxes of things from her youth.

She loved the loft, loved what was inside the loft and who lived there but she missed her own space. Missed being alone.

-x-

He was waiting outside Remy's for her.

"Hi." Rick smiled, pushing off the wall and walking to her.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"Hungry?" He asked, opening the door for her.

She just nodded.

"You are quiet this morning, get a good sleep?" He asked, fiddling with the menu in his hand.

"I did actually, didn't realise how much I missed my bed." As soon as she said it, she regretted it.

She didn't want to bring him into this, it was stupid and silly and she knew it would pass.

"Oh, well we could-"

"How's Alexis?" She changed the subject, hoping he would let it drop.

"Yeah, she said to tell you that she misses you and to give you a good morning kiss. She has a play at school, they're doing Peter Pan." He smiled, hoping she would remember when they watched it in the Hamptons.

"That's cool." Kate looked out the window, resting her head on her hand.

"Kate, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." She smiled, turning her attention to the waitress that was ready to take their orders.

-x-

"Beckett, you're late." Esposito said as she walked to her desk, he had a smirk on his face so she ignored him.

"Where are we?" She asked, pulling her chair to the empty murder board and turning to face him.

"Captain is on the phone now, he's trying to get on the case but considering it isn't our jurisdiction, who knows." Esposito shrugged.

A case had come in to the 18th precinct in the early hours of the morning and Beckett wanted it. It had links back to a case she worked in when she was just starting out, they never found the killer and she wanted to now.

"Beckett, you better go the 18th and pick up the case files. They handed it over happily, which is a worry." Montgomery stood in the doorway to his office.

"Thank you, Sir." Beckett smiled, reaching for her jacket and giving the nod to Esposito.

This was just the distraction she needed.

-x-

It had been two days since she saw Rick and three since she last saw Alexis. This case was gruelling and they were getting nowhere.

He had called and messaged and she missed them both, but she needed the space.

There was this unsettling feeling that something was wrong and she was trying to shake it.

"Kate." He breathed a sigh of relief when he opened the door to see her there.

She had knocked instead of just using her key. That wasn't a good sign.

"Hi." She smiled, stepping over the threshold and into the loft.

Alexis flew down the stairs and had her arms wrapped around her before she could take her shoes off.

"Did tell you Kate about my play? I'm a lost boy!" She squealed, letting go of Kate and ran back into the lounge.

"Lost boy?" Kate asked, letting her jacket fall to the ground with her shoes.

"They decided to make it fair so they opened it up to both girls and boys." He smiled, reaching for her hand.

"Sounds fair to me." She said, watching Alexis run into the lounge squealing.

"I've missed you." He said, taking another step closer and wrapping his arms around her.

"I missed you too." She smiled, letting her head rest against his chest.

But something was off, something smelt different.

She leaned back, "Did you change your cologne?"

"No." He said, tugging at his shirt to smell it, "Same as usual. Why?"

"It smells bad."

"Bad?" He stepped back, trying to smell his shirt again.

Then she felt her stomach churn and she looked up to Rick before quickly making a run for it.

"Kate." He knocked on the bathroom door but she closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing.

She could hear Alexis singing loudly in the lounge, which she was glad of because that it meant she hadn't seen her make a run for it.

"Please open the door." She heard Rick ask, she knew his head was rested against the door by the muffled sound of his voice.

"I'm fine, just give me a second." She said with her head rested in her hands.

"Ok." He said, in a sigh.

She felt horrible, her stomach was bubbling and her mind racing. She was exhausted and moody.

When she stood to wash her face and brush her teeth she noticed Rick's cologne on the bathroom counter. She used to love the smell, especially waking up with her naked body pressed against his and the faint smell of it on his chest.

She took her time, and then took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door.

Rick sat on the bed, wearing a new shirt and she felt the guilt hit her hard.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking down to his feet.

"It's not your fault." She said, staying in the doorway of the bathroom.

"You finally come home and the second you are in the door, I go and ruin it." He shrugged looking up to her.

Home.

She let her eyes close and then forced them to open again.

"It's not like you knew it was going to happen, sometimes different smells make me woozy, you know that." It was true, a week before the smell of pretzels had made her gag on the side of the street.

"I just didn't know one of the smells would actually be me." His voice was raw and hurt.

She could still smell it; it was waffling through into the bedroom. It always did, his room always smelt like this and she usually loved it.

"I might go back to mine and get some sleep, big case at the moment and I need to be feeling better."

The look he gave her almost shattered her heart there and then.

"You can sleep in the guestroom, it won't smell like me." He was trying to keep her at the loft and she wished she could just give in.

"You're not the reason I feel like this, it'll pass before you know it. Just give me tonight at home and I'll come by tomorrow." She smiled, wishing he would just let her go.

He nodded, not saying anything with his eyes still glued to the floor.

Every time she left the loft, he'd walk her to the door but tonight he didn't move from the bed.

She leant in, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before telling him she would see him tomorrow.

He didn't respond.

Alexis hadn't given her much more either. She said that she hadn't been there in days and she missed her. Kate said that she just came to pick something up and would be back tomorrow, that her work had a big case on and she needed to be there.

When she was a block form the loft she stopped walking. She leant against the wall in an alley and cried.

What was she doing?

He loved her so much and she was pushing him away.

-x-

The next day, they finally caught a break on the case and spent the entire day in New Jersey on a stakeout.

She messaged Rick saying she wouldn't make it to the loft tonight and she was sorry.

He wasn't the person to send back one work messages but that's all she got that day.

She deserved it too.

It was well after midnight when she crawled into her bed that night. Her hand rested against her stomach and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes.

-x-

It was another two days until they closed the case. She had spent everyday at the precinct and crawled into bed at her apartment sometime after midnight.

She'd wake up to a message from him every morning and one every night. She'd message him throughout the day, telling him she was fine and really busy. She hadn't heard his voice since the day at the loft.

He had called but she'd missed them or let them go to voice mail.

She was woken by a knock at her door. She stumbled down the hallway, thick from sleep she had missed out on during the week.

It was him, she knew it. No one else she would knew would show up at her apartment without warning her first. She did have a gun and she knew how to use it.

"Hi." She smiled weakly before stepping aside to let him in.

He shook his head.

He handed her Alexis' storybook from school and told her to read the last page.

She flicked through the book, finding the last page and reading the title. It was all about how they were portraying emotions this week in their stories.

There was a bubble with different words written around it. Happy, angry, judged, loved. Alexis had circled 'sad.'

'_I feel sad because I haven't gotten to see Kate all week and I know that she has a really busy job but I think my dad is more sad than I am. He isn't smiling like he usually does and I'm not sure what will make him feel better. I wish Kate would come back soon.'_

"They usually don't bring these books home but her teacher rung and told me Alexis had been unusually quiet in class and then she wrote this."

"Rick-"

"No, you don't get to be sorry. You don't get to blame this on your job and say you've been too busy. You need to realise that you're not alone in this anymore, Kate. You knew I came in a package deal and I know we didn't plan the baby but you've been pulling away all week and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, but I can't keep wondering because I haven't noticed what's going on with Alexis and look where that has got me." He pointed to the book and shook his head.

"It's not you." Kate said quietly, wishing he would just come inside instead of standing in the doorway.

"What is it?" He asked, watching her intently.

"I just, I don't know what's going on." She bit her bottom lip.

He nodded, like he expected this answer from her.

"You said the other day that you were going to go home, home to your apartment. Kate, I know this is big, a huge change for the both of us but I felt like we were moving along steadily. You said that eventually you would move into the loft and I know it's a massive adjustment but I really felt like we were moving forward and then you said that and I felt like we took three steps back."

"It was just a figure of speech." She said, wishing this wasn't happening.

"So where is home for you then? The loft? Here?" He asked, his voice a tad louder but he calmed by the end of the sentence.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully.

She didn't know. She had no idea what was going on in her head and she hated it.

"I will buy a new home, a new loft or apartment. Whatever you want, Kate. I just want you to come home to me and Alexis and eventually Bug." His voice was quivering.

She stood there, feeling the tears spill down her cheeks.

"I want you to think about it because I can't do anything else until you make up your mind. I just want to make you happy but right now, I can't. You wont let me in and you wont tell me when there is a problem. You hide behind work because you're scared of what could happen if you just open up and let me know. I'm going to go but I'll call you in a few days." He took the book from her and stood back.

"Don't go." She begged, wishing she wasn't so messed up.

"I have to go, you have to decide what you want." He half smiled but it faded in a second.

"Where does this leave us?" She asked, taking a step out of the door.

"I really don't know." He answered before turning to leave.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me. I'm just totally feeling angsty right now.<strong>

**But it's my birthday on Sunday so you can't be mean haha.**

**Also a big thank you to _AngelaAndrews _who (without knowing) has become my yummy mommy for everything to do with pregnancy. I haven't had kids and she has so it's really good to get things clarified :)**

**Enjoy your easter choccies!**

**Hannah**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Always the same. Always? Can it be Monday already?

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Week: Thirteen.

She scrubbed everything.

She was on her hands and knees scrubbing the bath when she broke down. The tears started to flow and there was nothing she could do about it.

He'd said he would call but it had been a day and there was still no word from him. As soon as he left she knew what she wanted. She wanted him and Alexis and she never wanted to let them go, but she had to wait for his call.

She had messed up, pulled away from the greatest thing in her life because she was scared and it was in her nature to run from what she wanted most.

Losing a parent and then watching another one drown his sorrows in a bottle made you hard, it made you independent and it made her never want to put someone else through that.

She almost tripped on the box in the hallway and suddenly the empty box held her biggest decision yet.

-x-

It was late by the time she arrived at the loft. Alexis would be asleep, and that was comforting to Kate. She couldn't do this and be turned down in front of Alexis.

She knocked gently on the front door and waited.

When he opened the door there was a genuine look of surprise followed by him rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"I'm sorry." She choked, not feeling as brave as she had been.

"What's this?" He asked, looking to the box that she was holding in her hands.

"All my favourite things. The things I always move first."

He looked from the box and then back to her.

"Move?"

"I said after I found out I was pregnant that I would move in here, but if you don't want me to." She took a step back, not quite knowing what to do.

"Kate." He sighed.

"No, I'll go. This was a stupid idea." Her voice cracked and she tried to smile.

But was it though?

She thought it was kind of brilliant. It showed him just how ready she was, how much she wanted to take this step.

He was being stupid.

Stupid, stunningly good-looking man.

"It's not stupid, it just wasn't what I was expecting." He said, taking a step out of his door.

"What were you expecting?" She asked, trying not to look at him.

"I honestly don't know. I knew that I had to give you space so you could decide what you wanted."

"But now you know what I want and you still don't want me to move in."

He was being impossible and annoying and there was a need to punch him really hard.

"I want nothing more than for you to move in."

"Then why are you looking at like that?"

He was silent for a moment before he reached for the box.

"I'm just having a hard time realizing that you are actually here with a box full of stuff, all ready to move in." He smiled at her tugged at her hand.

Her feet wouldn't budge and he turned.

"What?" He asked, already crossed the threshold back into the loft.

"If I come in now, this is it. I won't leave, Rick. Do you want that?" She asked, laying it all out.

"It's all I want." He smiled again, tugging at her hand again.

"Oh, I forgot this." She reached down and picked up the frame before she stepped into the loft.

"You brought it back?" He looked at the painting that he'd given her, the painting that she and Alexis had done together for her school project.

The pink and red paints were all blended and bright.

"Well I did bring all my favourite things, this is included in it."

She set it down and turned back to him. He'd placed the box on the kitchen counter and had his back to her.

"Rick?" She said quietly as he hung his head.

"Yeah." His voice was rugged and laced with emotion.

"What's wrong?" She asked, taking the last few steps to him.

As he turned to face her she saw his reddened eyes.

"Nothing," He smiled, "Everything is perfect."

His arms wrapped around her and held her tight.

He smelt just like normal as she gripped his shirt and hugged him as close as she could get.

"Welcome home." He whispered.

-x-

He crawled into bed after his shower and Kate was already half asleep.

"Smell good." She said, reaching out for him.

"Don't want to make you throw up anymore?" He asked, joking with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"No. Come here." She smiled.

"I'm glad." He breathed a sigh of relief moving closer to her.

"Off." She tugged at his shirt and he laughed.

"I love when you're tired and your vocabulary is just singular words." He said, throwing his shirt to the end of the bed.

"Haven't slept much."

He didn't reply to her so she opened her eyes.

"I shouldn't have left you like that, it was unfair of me."

"You had to do it, I understand. I needed that kick in the right direction and now look where we are." She smiled, cupping his cheek before leaning in and kissing him softly.

"Kate." He sighed.

"We're done talking about this." She smiled again, pulling him on top of her.

The feeling of him on top of her made her eyes flutter close.

"You are tired." He whispered, hot air hitting her neck.

She silenced him by pulling his lips to hers.

-x-

"Kate!" Alexis yelled, struggling to get off her barstool fast enough to get to Kate.

"Hey." Kate held her arms open wide and hugged Alexis tightly before dropping a kiss to the girl's head.

"I missed you." Alexis whispered.

"I missed you more."

"Why did you bring it back?" Alexis asked as they walked back to the kitchen counter.

"Bring what back?" Kate asked, slightly confused.

"Our painting. Dad said that it was at your apartment."

Kate eyed Rick and encouraged him to jump in at any point.

"Hey pumpkin, you know how we talked this week about Kate?"

Kate's eyes hit the floor and she wished that it would swallow her whole and she didn't have to be here for this.

She was messed up and now his kid knew it.

"About how she had to work and she was staying at her apartment?"

Kate looked apologetically to Rick but he smiled.

She did say the night before that they were finished talking about this, right before he made her forget her own name.

"Yeah, but what else did we talk about?" Rick asked, opening a jar of peanut butter.

"That hopefully Kate will move in when she's ready so even if she has to work long hours, we still get to see her?" Alexis said, looking behind her to Kate standing behind her chair.

Rick looked from Alexis and then to the painting and then back to Alexis.

"You're moving in!" Alexis squealed.

"I am." Kate smiled, wrapping her arms around Alexis.

Alexis kissed her cheek before biting into her toast.

"Does that mean Kate's coming to the Hamptons?" Alexis asked.

"I don't know what her work schedule is like." Rick looked up to Kate and handed her her coffee.

"Hamptons?"

"Mother is having some friends over, they've all flown into the city and I really don't want to be here for it. The last time this happened Alexis and I moved into the Four Seasons after they announced they were going to play strip poker." Rick shuddered.

"Do you have work?" Alexis asked.

"Got the next three days off." Kate said and Rick looked up from the paper.

"You do?" He was surprised. They hadn't exactly talked about anything after she had arrived the night before.

"Captain gave us the weekend, said we've been working far too much."

"Hamptons it is then." He smiled, leaning over to kiss her.

"Gross." Alexis sighed, jumping from her chair.

-x-

"Hey there." Rick whispered as she let her eyes flutter open.

"I fell asleep?" She sighed, stretching out.

"A little while after we stopped. Alexis wasn't fair behind you." Rick smiled, reaching over to unclick her seatbelt.

Kate turned her head to look for Alexis.

"I just carried her inside."

"Don't even think about it." She said, sitting up and swinging her legs around.

"Think about what?" He asked acting completely puzzled.

"Carrying me inside."

"You're no fun." He pouted holding his arm out for her to step out of the SVU.

She winced and her hand went to her stomach.

"What? Kate, what's wrong?" His voice was fully of worry as he fretted around her.

"Nothing, just sat weird. Bug didn't like it, he likes to stretch out." She let out her breathe and closed her eyes.

His hands steadied her by holding her hips.

"I'm good." She smiled up to him after a moment.

"Are you sure?" He asked, taking a step closer.

She reached up, kissed his cheek and nodded.

-x-

She had missed the house in the Hamptons more than she realised. It was odd to be back after what happened the last time. They'd slept together for the first time; almost everywhere in the house and on the beach and one of those times they'd managed to make a baby.

Now he was unloading food into the fridge and she was stretched out on the brown leather couch in his office.

His child was asleep upstairs and she was fighting falling asleep herself.

"Hungry?" He asked, leaning against the doorway.

She nodded.

"What do you want?"

"Ice cream." She answered without thinking.

He was gone for a second and back with a tub of her favourite and two spoons.

"Cold." He winced.

She rolled her eyes, licking her spoon clean.

"Good to be out of the city?" He asked, digging his spoon into the ice cream after recovering from brain breeze.

"I forget how quiet it is out here." She smiled.

She hadn't really had time to think about going with them. She had the weekend off and had missed Alexis over the last week.

They'd stopped at her apartment so she could pack a bag and grabbed what she needed before they left. He'd spied a pregnancy book on her nightstand and threw it into her bag before Alexis could see it.

The ride had consisted of Alexis and Rick fighting over what radio station to have. They finally settled on a mixed CD to stop the argument. Kate had been watching the ordeal with delight. She'd seen them in almost every situation, but this was new and she was loving it. She wondered what it would be like with a car seat in the back and a sleeping baby as they made it out to the Hamptons for a weekend away.

Or wherever they went on a family vacation.

Technically that's what was happening right now. They were a family going away for a weekend.

The thought didn't scare her anymore, she'd made her decision and she couldn't have been happier.

"Thinking pretty loudly over there." Rick smiled, placing the tub on the side table.

"Just thinking about today."

"Didn't freak you out? It all happened so fast." He asked genuinely as he pulled her feet over his lap.

"Nope, was thinking about what it'll be like when we come out here with this one." She pointed to her belly.

"You were?" His eyes lit up as she took his hand and let it rest on her stomach.

"You know what tomorrow is?" She asked.

He was still bewildered at her sharing to really think so he shook his head.

"It's the first day of week fourteen. Start of the second trimester."

"Already?" He asked, eyes going from her to the bump and back again.

"Already." She nodded.

"I love you." He said, pulling her face to his and kissing her fiercely.

-x-

"You packed me this?" She asked, pulling the book out of her bag.

"I just saw it and Alexis was following me so I chucked it in your bag."

She nodded, setting the book down on the nightstand.

"Maybe we could tell her tomorrow?" Kate asked, slightly nervous.

"I would love to tell her tomorrow." He smiled.

"Kate, what's wrong?" He asked when she didn't reply.

"Maybe we should wait or you tell her?"

"Why?"

"Hey Alexis, remember me? The constant disappointment that leaves for a week because she can't grow up and want this perfect life that your father has given me, yeah well I'm pregnant. Surprise you get a sibling half made of me, the mental case."

He takes her hand and pulls her to him so she's standing between his legs as he sits on the bed. He tugs her so she sits, legs wrapped around his waist and his arms wrapped around hers.

"When Meredith left I had no idea what to say to Alexis. How do tell your child that her mother left her behind? That her father wasn't enough to keep her home? Alexis dealt with it better than I did, she held my hand through it and we became enough for each other. She used to ask where Meredith was or why she didn't visit at Christmas or her birthday but eventually she stopped asking. When she asked where you were last week and when she wrote that story, it made me realise how much she loves you. I told her that you were busy at work and she understood but I had to think about if you didn't come back. If you didn't want all of this then what was I going to tell her?"

He paused and looked to Kate. Tears had filled her eyes and she didn't even hold it back.

"Everything I came up with seemed so stupid. I was sitting in my office the night before last and she came in, she was supposed to be asleep but I guess she was feeling the same as me. She crawled up on me like she used to do when she was a baby, like how you are right now and she smiled at me. She rolled her eyes at me like you do and said 'Don't worry, Dad, she'll come home.' At that moment I knew that it was different, that neither her nor I could get over if you left us. That whatever you decided, I would fight it until you came back. She is different with you than I've ever seen her with anyone else and I know that she'll love the news, she will love this tiny little baby just as much as we do. I want you there when I tell her; I want you there for the rest of the things I tell her in my life. I want you there when she goes on her first date or when she goes off to college, when she gets married and had kids of her own. I want you there, every step."

"I want to be there." Kate smiled as he wiped away her tears.

"Good, now get into bed. We've got a big day tomorrow." He flipped her onto the bed and she started laughing when he came after her, tickling her.

"Rick, stop." She chuckled as he kissed her neck.

"Make me." He challenged and she flipped them in a second.

She raised as eyebrow at him, knowing she still had the upper hand and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Good idea." She laughed, snuggling down into his side.

"Goodnight, gorgeous." He kissed the top of her head.

"Night." She whispered.

**Hey everyone, **

**Sorry this has taken so long. It's been like pulling teeth with this chapter. I started so many different times and tried to keep with the angst but nothing stuck so you got fluff. Loads of it.**

**I promise to try and update more, I'll need something to keep my mind off Always. (I'm having a mad panic about it) **

**Tell me what you think!**

**Hannah .x.**


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: Don't own Castle.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Week: Fourteen.

* * *

><p>When Kate woke the next morning she stretched out to an empty bed. Opening her eyes slowly she eyed Rick's watch on the nightstand.<p>

11.29am.

She couldn't believe how long she'd managed to sleep for. This was unusual for her, especially since she fell pregnant.

She could hear laughing from downstairs and decided it was well and truly time to get up.

-x-

"Morning." Kate smiled, walking out onto the deck. She'd changed into some denim shorts and a big white blouse. She looked beachy and relaxed as she sat at the top of the stairs, coffee in hand.

"Sleeping Beauty has awoken. I was beginning to think we needed to send up some dwarfs." Rick laughed, getting up from the sand to walk to her.

"Dad, that's Sleeping Beauty and Snow White you're talking about. Morning, Kate." Alexis smiled, going back to whatever it was they were doing.

"Morning." He whispered against her lips and gave her a quick morning kiss.

"Why didn't you wake me?" She asked, rubbing some sand from his cheek.

"I woke really early and went for a run, cooked breakfast and then came outside to play with Alexis and you managed to sleep through it all. Thought you may have needed it so I let you rest." He shrugged, sitting down next to her.

"What are you making?" Kate asked Alexis, setting down the coffee cup on the stair.

"A castle." Alexis said not bothering to look up from her project.

"Original." Kate whispered, knowing it would have been Rick's idea.

"Want to help?" Alexis asked, looking up to Kate.

"Yeah, I'd love that." Kate replied, pushing herself from the stair to go and help Alexis.

-x-

"Hi."

Kate turned her head to see Alexis standing in the doorway to the lounge.

"Hey, what's up?" Kate asked, signalling for the girl to join her.

"I had fun today." Alexis admitted, sitting down on the next step.

"Same. I think the castle came out pretty well, until your father decided there needed to be a war and ruined it." Kate laughed, looking at the pile of sand only a few feet from the stairs.

"He does that." Alexis laughed and rolled her eyes.

Kate could hear Rick in the kitchen getting dinner ready, there had already been a few crashes so she knew not to go in just yet.

"You don't mind that I came out here?" Kate asked, looking towards Alexis.

She slowly shook her head.

"Usually it's just me and dad. Grams sometimes comes but she has loads of friends with houses too so she is barely here. I remember mom came out here with us once for a week, she just dropped into the loft one night and we were coming here the next day so she came. I think dad thought it would be good for us but, I don't know." Alexis shrugged her shoulders.

"You can tell me, I don't have to talk to your dad about it." Kate smiled, trying to encourage Alexis to talk.

"It just didn't feel right. Dad was trying really hard to make it perfect and mom kept picking at him about things he taught me or words that I used. It ended with them arguing one night and she left without saying goodbye."

"Alexis, I'm sorry." Kate pulled her legs up and pulled Alexis across the step. She wrapped her arms around Alexis' shoulders and kissed the top of her head.

Alexis leaned into Kate, closing her eyes.

"I'm used to it being just dad and I and now there's you as well and I feel like I don't deserve this." Alexis said quietly, bottom lip trembling.

It ripped through Kate's heart as Alexis spoke. This isn't what a child should be thinking. She should be thinking about the latest toy that came out or going to see the new movie with a friend.

"Alexis, don't you dare say that. You deserve everything that your dad or your mom give to you. You hear me?"

"I don't though." Alexis said, fighting the tears.

"Why not?" Kate asked, wondering where this was all coming from.

"Because I was more upset about if you left than when my real mom left for good, I stayed up all night thinking of ways to get you to stay because it wouldn't be the same without you. I know I was really young when mom left for Los Angeles but when you didn't come home and dad seemed really sad I wondered if you'd broken up. I have a mom and I feel horrible because I get two and you don't have a mom anymore, Kate, and I'm totally selfish." Alexis choked on her words before letting her head fall against her knees.

Kate was taken back to begin with, she didn't know what to think or do. It made her heart hurt that she'd caused Alexis so much grief without knowing but she needed to put this behind her.

They all needed to put this behind them because Kate was staying.

She'd found her home and this was it.

"Alexis, you know I love you and I'm sorry that we didn't tell you what was going on. I had some issues because I'm usually so independent and it was hard for me to give in and let your dad in. We're completely fine now; you don't need to worry about me going anywhere."

Alexis nodded against her leg.

"You're not selfish either, Alexis. It's ok to not want people to leave when you've already gone through it once, I'm the same. When my mom died I never thought I'd find that one person that matched me like my mom matched my dad. Then I fell in love with your dad and suddenly everything was up in the air, nothing was planned and it felt good, I felt free for the first time in years. You can love more than one person, Alexis, and you can get over losing love too. Your dad and mom used to love each other and they got you from sharing that love. Neither one of your parents would take anything back. I know your mom is hard to handle sometimes but she loves you. You deserve it all, Alexis. You deserve all this love because you're smart, challenging and so full of light. Don't ever think you don't again." Kate squeezed the girl tighter and kissed the top of her head.

She closed her eyes against Alexis' head for a moment to really take in this moment. She never wanted Alexis to feel that way again because it reminded her of herself and it scared her.

Nineteen year old Kate Beckett crying in her darkened room thinking that if she loved her mother more then she would still be here, if she were a better daughter then she wouldn't have had her mother taken away. Then the anger came and blurred her tears as she thought that her mother clearly didn't love her because she got herself killed.

Kate shook the memories away; she hated to think back to those times.

She knew now that it was normal to go through those emotions after someone died. Anger, hurt and frustration.

"Alexis, go wash your hands. It's dinner time." Rick spoke softly, careful not to spook them.

Alexis stood, leant over and gave Kate a quick kiss on the cheek before going inside.

"Hi." Kate smiled softly, walking to where he stood leaning against the doorframe.

"Hi." Rick responded, voice full of kept in emotion.

"I would ask you when you heard from but I stopped hearing the crashing pretty early on."

Rick nodded, knowing that he couldn't pull one over a cop.

"I thought we were fine, that I sheltered her from all of that." He was staring at his feet.

"This isn't your fault, Rick. She is perfect and you've brought her up so well. Sometimes it gets a bit much, sometimes you just need to let it out to someone different and sometimes you just need to cry. It's a girl thing." She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"She'll be just fine, I promise." Kate whispered, ghosting her lips against his.

"She will?" He asked, hope filling his eyes.

Kate nodded knowing if she could pull herself out of the rabbit hole she created after her mother died then Alexis was strong enough to get through this.

"Maybe we'll have a boy and it'll even out the numbers." Kate laughed, wanting desperately to pull Rick away from this.

"Or it'll be a girl and it will be three against one. Not good odds." He smiled and it made her heart flutter.

"Well if it is then we'll pray the next one is a boy."

He looked at her with the widest eyes she'd seen yet. Filled with love and devotion.

"You want more?" He asked, hugging her tighter.

Kate's voice quietened as she heard Alexis come back down the stairs.

"We'll see how this one goes first, but I think so." She smiled, untucking his arms and leading him into the lounge by his hand.

"I don't even know what to say."

She laughed as she plated up her salad before rolling at her eyes at Alexis who laughed at her dad.

"Rendered you speechless, I never thought that would happen."

"I love you." He rasped.

Kate looked up to him, watched him for a moment before she smiled.

"Love you too, now eat your dinner." She laughed, sitting down next to Alexis.

-x-

"What's wrong?" Rick asked, rolling onto his side and snuggled into Kate.

"I'm really hungry." She whispered.

"What do you want?" He asked, running his hand over her stomach. He couldn't believe how much the baby had grown in the last few weeks. It was visible now when Kate wore tight clothing. She managed to get away with loose fitting blouses and shirts and no one thought twice about it.

When she got back to the precinct, she would tell the boys and Captain. She'd take the desk duty with gritted teeth and pray that she wouldn't be too hard to deal with.

Ryan and Esposito were like her brothers but Kate Beckett forced into desk duty wasn't a pretty situation.

They'd been through it once when a suspect got the drop on Kate and she had a cast on her right arm for six weeks.

"I'll go." She mumbled, trying to get up but his arm tightened around her.

"What do you want?" He repeated.

"Bread and cookies and juice."

She heard him chuckle before he sat up, rubbed the sleep from his face and made his way to the door.

"Babe, wake up."

"Don't babe me." She muttered, letting her eyes open.

"Not after I bring you all this delicious food you've been craving?" He joked, setting the glass or juice down before climbing back into the bed.

She held out her hands but he shook his head.

"Kiss first." He leaned in and she smiled, pulling him down on top of her.

She traced the outline of his jaw before bringing his face flush with hers. She kissed him gently.

When her stomach growled he pulled away.

"Bug's hungry." He laughed, handing her the ciabatta rolls and the packet of cookies.

"Should we find out what it is? Boy or girl?" Kate asked.

"I don't mind either way, I think I'd like to know but then I'd like the surprise too."

"Did you know what Alexis was before Meredith had the baby?" Kate asked, breaking a cookie in half and handing him her other half.

"Meredith wanted to know but I didn't. I heard her tell her mother that she was having a girl on the phone one night." Rick sighed, popping the cookie into his mouth.

Kate's mouth fell open in shock and she turned to Rick.

"I didn't mind, I was more excited and thrilled that she was healthy."

"Still." Kate raised an eyebrow before breaking another cookie in half.

"You could have your own cookie, Kate." Rick laughed but took what she offered.

"I like sharing with you." She shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

"Do you want to know what Bug is?" Rick asked, kissing her wrist as she held it in his hair.

"My mother used to tell me about when she was pregnant. Dad was adamant it was a girl and mom thought it was a boy. They didn't want to know because it kind of became this joke for them. They made it this nine month bet against each other."

"Your dad was right." Rick smiled.

"Mom knew all along I was a girl, said she felt it in her bones or something but wanted dad to be right." Kate laughed shaking her head.

"Why?" Rick asked, confused.

"Mom said whoever was right got something. Mom chose a new briefcase and dad wanted this new toolbox. Mom told me that they had money; family money but they never wasted it on things like that. It was put aside for education or hospital bills. They never spoiled each other, instead would rather spend their money on the house or setting up for a baby. When she had me, dad was overjoyed. He pulled one over the great Johanna Beckett. Mom bought home the tool set the next month and put it next to his chair, excited for when he got home."

"What happened when he got home?" Rick asked, running his hand over Kate's stomach.

"He'd gone into the city and she waited up with me instead of going to bed. When he got home she yelled at him. When he saw the toolbox next to his chair he started to laugh which annoyed mom even more. He told her he'd been all over the city looking for something."

"What was it?" Rick asked, completely in awe of this story.

"The briefcase she wanted, dad thought he'd buy it for her even though he won the bet. He couldn't find the picture of the one she wanted so he went to every single bag place he could find until he found it from memory." Kate smiled, remembering when her mother told her that story.

"Wow." Rick was so taken by it. The romance of it all, the love they shared.

"I never told dad that I knew, he probably never figured it out and I like that. Like knowing that mom still has this story going even though she's gone." Her voice choked on the last sentence and she closed her eyes tightly.

Rick moved over to her, resting on his side he snuggled into her, letting his nose rest against her cheek.

"That's a wonderful story, Kate." He whispered, kissing her cheek lightly.

"We should do a bet." Kate said, rolling on her side to face him.

"You really want to?" He asked.

"Yeah, I really do." She smiled, letting her eyes dry.

"What do you think it is?" He asked, looking to her stomach briefly and then back to her.

"I think it's a boy." She smiled, running her hands up his chest.

"I think it's a girl." He pulled her closer and watched her as she closed her eyes.

"So what do you want if you're right?" He asked after letting her have a moment.

"I want you to read to me every night, just a chapter, but I want it every night." She asked, looking to him.

"I would do that if you just asked, Kate."

"It's what I want if it's a boy." She smiled, kissing him.

"And what do you want?" She asked, pulling away from him to look him in the eye.

"I want to marry you."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone,**

**So I don't know if any of you are still interested in this story anymore.**

**I guess this might be the last chapter for awhile.**

**Have a great hiatus. **

**Hannah.**


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: Don't own Castle.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Week: Fourteen.

* * *

><p>"Rick." She whispered.<p>

"What?" He asked, his lips ghosting hers.

"What you said."

"What about it? If it's girl then I'm going to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me." He kissed her gently.

"So if it's a boy we don't get married?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"That's for me to know." He smirked, kissing her to silence her.

-x-

"Alexis!" Kate yelled and leaped from her chair.

She was paddling in the water and had been told three times by Rick to not go any further than her waist without him in the ocean. She hadn't gone any further but Kate watched her intently.

Rick was a bit further down talking to a neighbour he hadn't seen in awhile.

Kate sprinted down the beach to where Alexis had just been knocked over by a wave. Usually the waves weren't as rough and Kate had been feeling nervous about it all afternoon.

Alexis was struggling to get her balance in the slipping sand as the wave rolled back through the sand. Kate got to the water just as another big wave hit and she was almost knocked back but she kept wadding into the water.

She grabbed Alexis' arm and pulled her up to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her back to the beach.

"Are you ok?" Kate asked, assessing Alexis as she coughed up seawater.

Alexis nodded but her chest was heaving and she could barely breathe.

Kate pulled her to stand, letting her lungs fill.

"Just breathe, it's ok. Breathe." She said in a soothing tone and Alexis closed her eyes and her breathing stabilized.

"What happened?" Rick asked, almost out of breathe as Alexis when he reached them.

"Alexis just got knocked over by a wave and then got pushed down by another one." Kate said as calmly as she could.

Rick dropped to his knees, grabbing Alexis' hands and making her look to him.

"Are you alright?" He asked, the seriousness of his tone make Kate's stomach flip.

This was his Dad tone. The tone he had only used when she was around a few times.

"I'm fine." The girl smiled, chest still heaving.

Rick sighed in relief and kissed Alexis' cheek.

"Thanks to Kate for saving me."

Rick looked up to Kate and gave her the smile that felt like it was ripping her heart right open and exposing it to the world.

That look of love, utter devotion and admiration.

"We should go inside, Alexis you'll need some water." Rick said standing and packing up the fold out chairs and towels they had brought down to the beach.

Alexis hugged Kate's side and Kate dropped a kiss to the girl's head.

They walked in silence back to the house, both of them watching Alexis with every step she took.

-x-

Alexis was busy in the lounge watching a movie, popcorn and juice seemed to be her only concern.

Kate was leaning against the doorway watching her silently.

Rick took her by the hand and lead her into the office, pushing her gently by her shoulders to sit down.

"How you feeling?" Rick asked, collapsing down on the couch next to Kate.

"I don't know." She faced Rick.

He nodded silently waiting for Kate's thought process to kick in and for her to open up about how she was really feeling.

"Does it ever go away?"

"Does what ever go away?" He asked, running a hand over her knee.

"That feeling like someone you love so much could get hurt. When she went under the water, I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. I couldn't get down there fast enough, I completely panicked and now I have to check on her every minute." Kate rubbed her face with her hands.

"She was two and had been walking for awhile, but I swear every time she tumbled over I stopped breathing. I had one of those baby gates at the bottom of the stairs but I was in a rush one morning to get to a meeting and must have forgotten to shut it, I turned around the second she fell from the first step. I think I cried more than her."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"That feeling you got today, the need to constantly watch her and protect her from everything you possibly could, that's being a parent." He smiled, pulling her closer to him.

"I know that I'm a constant in her life now. We live together, we'll get married one day and things will change enormously in a few months but I don't want anybody to feel like I'm replacing her mother."

Rick raised an eyebrow at her, clearly confused about her statement.

"I've never met Meredith and I know what you've said about her, what Alexis has told me about what she's like but I never want to be the one that takes a daughter away from a mother. I've had that done to me and regardless of the circumstances, I'm never doing it to someone else. I'll be everything she wants me to be, I'll do anything for her and I'll love her as much as I can love somebody, but I wont take her away from Meredith."

She looked up to see Rick's eyes reddening and him nodding gently.

"Katherine Beckett, you amaze me." He smiled, leaning in to kiss her.

"You're ok with that?" She asked.

"Of course I am, I know you love her and it's all that matters. That fact you've gone above that and you're concerned about what Meredith will think makes me know you've really thought about this. I did think about adoption or signing papers to make it kind of official but you've thought about Alexis and put her in a situation where she gets everyone she could ever need."

"You thought about it?" She asked, looking over the back of the couch to watch Alexis.

"It was after the nit scare and Alexis wanted you to stay forever and so did I, you just fit so well into our life and I considered waking you up and asking you to marry me when you were asleep with Alexis that morning. I knew it was too soon so I held off and then, well things kind of changed." He smiled, running his fingers over her stomach.

"Bug." Kate nodded.

"Then I thought about if something happened to me." Rick said, feeling Kate squeeze his hand so tightly it actually hurt.

"If something happened to me, I wanted you and Bug to be set. It's not an obnoxious thing but I just want to know that you'll be fine, happy and healthy. Then it dawned on me that Alexis would go to Meredith and it hurt that she'd probably be moved out of the city, away from you and Bug. I want you to have some kind of claim to be able to see her, maybe she'll visit you on holidays and still know her sibling."

"Can you stop talking like you're going somewhere please." She said, tightening the grip in his hand again.

"That feeling you got when she went under the water? That is the feeling I get when I think about something happening to me and her not having you."

Kate sat there relaying what Rick had just said.

"I have sole custody of Alexis."

Kate looked up in surprise, that had never come up before.

"She signed her away?" Kate asked, horror filling her voice.

"Our divorce wasn't very nice. I was fighting a losing battle and she'd already checked out months before I was ready to see it. She cheated on me, that was the last thing I could take."

"Rick." Kate whispered, running a hand down his face.

"She wasn't happy and I can see that now. I was so in love with Alexis that I couldn't see anything else. We fought, our lawyers fought, and it ended in shambles. She came to the loft one night, apologised and told me that she signed sole custody over to me. She left the next day and I didn't see her for months."

Kate was speechless, literally had no idea what to say.

"I sent her pictures and videos, she sent presents for Alexis and then she came to visit and we'd both grown up so much that it was kind of refreshing. I told her that I would happily sign for joint custody but she told me no, she wanted Alexis to stay with me in New York and have the life I could give her. She's absent, careless and frustrating but she did what she could for our daughter in the end."

He paused, leaning into her hand.

"What I was going to say was that I'm not asking you to take over for Meredith and take Alexis away from her but I do want something to be in writing just in case. Only if it's ok with you."

"I want Meredith to know though, I want her to know everything."

Rick looked up to her, his face trying to suppress the surprise.

"I don't want it to be something she finds out and holds it over you. I don't want it to be a battle or vicious. Just a note in something to say that I can look after her if something were to happen to you, I could sign for her if we were at a hospital or pick her up from school if she were sick."

Rick nodded, greatly appreciating the leap that Kate had just made.

"I'll call Meredith when we get home and then call the lawyers." He said, kissing her cheek.

She nodded.

"What now?" He asked, quickly checking Alexis and then looking back to Kate.

"Get me some food."

Rick laughed so loud that Alexis got a fright.

"Sorry pumpkin, Kate just said something funny." Rick said, getting up from the couch and heading for the kitchen.

-x-

"Go to sleep." Rick said, his voice half muffled by the pillow.

"I have to pee again." She sighed

"Again?" He asked, slightly amused.

"Yes. Again." She said sternly.

He held his hands up in surrender.

"I'll be right back." She slipped from the bed, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked, confused as to why she walked right past their bathroom door.

"I'll use the one downstairs, that one makes that annoying buzzing noise for an hour after you use the tap."

He chuckled into his pillow.

-x-

"Alexis, you scared me." Kate's hand flew over her heart as the red head looked up from the kitchen bench.

"Sorry. I was thirsty." She set the glass down.

"It's ok, how are you feeling?" Kate asked, running her fingers through the girl's hair.

"Just really thirsty and my arm is a bit sore from when it hit the sand."

Kate checked her arm over again, felt all the bits that would indicate it could be broken or fractured.

She was fine.

"Could you sleep at all?" Kate asked.

"Not really." Alexis sighed, playing with the glass.

"I'm going to go toilet and then we'll go back to bed." Kate smiled, pushing herself from the bench.

-x-

"Daddy?"

Kate's eyes opened at the same time as Rick's did.

Light was filling the room and Kate squinted stretching out.

He looked down to Alexis and then back up to Kate with a smirk.

"When did you get in here?" He asked, ruffling his hand through her hair.

"I couldn't sleep and Kate brought me in here." Alexis answered sheepishly.

Rick nodded, kissing Alexis' forehead.

"How are you feeling?" Kate asked, rolling onto her side, cocooning Alexis between her and Rick.

"Much better." Alexis smiled, snuggling into Kate.

"I'm glad." Kate sighed, beginning to feel the stress lift from her shoulders.

"What do you want to do today, pumpkin?" Rick asked, lifting his head to check the time on Kate's bedside clock.

"I just want to hang around here."

Kate caught Rick's eyes and she could see the panic wash over him.

"I'm not afraid of the ocean, I just don't feel like doing anything and it's our last day here so I want to spend it with Kate." Alexis shrugged and Rick smiled.

"But can I ask you both something?" Alexis asked, voice far too serious for a ten year old.

"Uh, yeah sure." Rick stuttered and Kate held her breath.

"Are you two having a baby?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks to everyone for the reviews on the last chapter. Apparently you are still reading it and don't want it to stop. **

**Chapters might not be as frequent but I'll try my hardest.**

**Hannah**

**p.s To those of you who thought I was talking about this story taking a hiatus...you make me giggle. I was actually talking about the show, like this story could ever be justified to have a hiatus, but I do love you. **


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty.

Disclaimer: Don't own Castle. Blah Blah.

Week: Fifteen

* * *

><p>"Well?" Alexis asked, looking from Kate to Rick.<p>

"It's something we were going to talk to you about when we were up here." Rick started but Alexis looked towards Kate.

"So it's true?" Alexis asked, not showing any emotion.

Kate looked to Rick and then back to Alexis before nodding.

"Is that why you moved in?" Alexis asked quietly.

"It's a quarter of the reason." Kate said which caused both Alexis and Rick to give her matching confused looks.

"A quarter?" Alexis asked.

"Well the baby is a quarter of the reason I moved in, but you are a quarter as well and then your dad here is another quarter."

"And the fourth quarter?" Alexis asked.

Rick was beaming that Alexis was keeping up.

"Because I wanted to live with you two and I wanted it to be in the loft." Kate smiled.

Alexis nodded and then shuffled towards Kate.

"Is it a boy or girl?" Alexis asked, eyes looking at Kate's bump.

"We haven't found out yet and we wont until Kate has the baby." Rick said, running his hand through Alexis' hair.

Alexis nodded, thinking carefully about what was being said.

"I know this is a big thing, Pumpkin. I want you to know that nothing will change between us." Rick spoke softly, hoping Alexis would be okay about it.

"I know, Dad. I'm excited about it, I really am." Alexis smiled.

Kate could feel Rick relax instantly.

"Could I?" Alexis asked and Kate looked down to where Alexis was pointing.

"Sure, yeah." Kate smiled taking Alexis' hand and putting it on her belly.

"Wow." Alexis said quietly, marvelled by Kate's growing stomach.

Kate looked to Rick and they both had matching expressions; huge smiles but barely seen through watery eyes.

-x-

"Kate." Rick whispered and ran his finger over her cheek.

"No." Kate squirmed and pushed Rick's hand away which he chuckled about.

"What time do you want your alarm set for tomorrow?" Rick asked, sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Nine." She mumbled into her pillow.

"Alright, I'm going to write for a bit." He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Alexis go to sleep ok?" She asked, just before Rick got to the bedroom door.

"Full of questions like she was all of today." Rick laughed.

Kate smiled and looked to Rick, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

-x-

"Good holiday, Beckett?" Ryan asked as he walked past her desk.

"Wasn't long enough." Beckett smiled, looking up to him.

"Tell me about it."

The trip back to the city the day before was a lengthy process. Alexis had been reluctant to leave and Kate seemed to have a strong case of morning sickness.

Rick had loaded the car entirely on his own as Alexis hid and Kate suffered in the bathroom.

When they arrived back in the city Alexis had fallen asleep and Kate wasn't far behind.

Rick had unpacked the car on his own as Kate fell asleep before she could help.

"I want to talk to you and Esposito sometime tomorrow as well." Kate smiled and Ryan nodded, suppressing his smile.

Kate gathered her things together after a long day. There was an easy case they helped robbery close and all shared the paperwork.

-x-

"Rick, calm down." Kate said sitting on the counter top, trying to open the cookie dough that she had brought home for Rick as an apology/thank you for having to pack and unpack the car.

"I can't. Does he even like salmon?" Rick asked in a panic.

"Yes, Rick. That's why I brought it." Kate kept her voice steady as she watched Rick freak out.

"Maybe we shouldn't tell him tonight? Maybe we should just tell him you moved in and then next week we can tell him that you're pregnant." Rick took the cookie dough from Kate and opened the stubborn top that had been infuriating her.

"Rick, we're telling him." Kate said, taking the cookie dough from him happily.

"He's going to hurt me." Rick let his head fall against Kate's shoulder.

"No he won't. You're being a baby." Kate laughed, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Stop." He groaned, trying to push away from Kate.

"What?" Kate pouted with a mouth full of cookie dough.

"Being adorably cute with cookie dough and sitting on the kitchen counter with your legs around me." Rick tried again but Kate tightened her legs around him.

"He'll love you, Rick." Kate spoke, putting the cookie dough down and taking Rick's head in her hands.

"Kate." Rick sighed, closing his eyes.

"Rick, I love you and if I love you, then he'll love you too." Kate smiled, kissing him gently.

"You take like cookies." He smirked, kissing her again.

Kate nipped his bottom lip and he leaned back into her. She let out that tiny moan that she knew he loved and it worked in her favour. He pulled her forward and kissed down her neck.

A loud knock at the door broke the couple apart.

Panic spread over Rick's face completely hiding any arousal he was feeling only a second before.

"Just be yourself." Kate smiled, moving from the counter to answer the door.

-x-

"Did you watch the game?" Kate asked, putting her fork and knife on her plate.

Jim Beckett nodded, putting his fork and knife down the same way Kate did.

Kate knew that Rick would pick up on that but he kept quiet.

"It was a good game. I watched it with Bernie." Jim smiled.

"How is he?" Kate asked, pushing her plate away from her.

"Bernie is a friend from college that moved in next door," Jim said to Rick before answering Kate, "Just welcomed grandchild number seven to the family." Jim laughed.

"Seven?" Kate was shocked, the last she heard the first had just been born.

"Lucy's second." Jim smiled.

"Wow, that's a surprise." Kate said.

"Loads of surprises happening." Jim said with a hint of a smile.

Kate could feel Rick tense but he covered it quickly.

"So where is this Alexis I've been hearing so much about?" Jim said and Rick beamed.

"Out with her grandmother at violin lessons, they'll be home soon." Rick said, standing and collecting the plates.

-x-

"Katie, this place is amazing." Jim said, turning to face his daughter.

"I know." Kate sighed happily and stood next to her father at the windowsill.

"Rick's amazing too." Jim smiled.

"I know, I can't believe it sometimes."

"I can. You deserve all this happiness, Katie. Everything you've got coming your way, you deserve it."

Kate looked at her father but before she could ask what he meant Alexis burst through the door yelling excitedly about a new project for school.

"I'm assuming this is Alexis." Jim asked, looking to the redhead that was climbing all over Rick.

"Sure is."

"She's gorgeous." Jim laughed as Rick threw Alexis over his shoulder and brought her into the lounge.

"Martha this is Jim, my dad." Kate smiled as Martha walked in front of Rick and encased Jim's hand.

"Martha, it's an absolute pleasure." Jim grinned at the actress.

"Hi!" Alexis said before hugging Jim.

"Hi there." Jim laughed, hugging the girl back.

-x-

They were all in the lounge with Alexis telling them about her new school project.

They were growing sunflowers for the new school garden and it was Alexis' class that had been given the seeds and the pots to begin to grow them before taking them to school and replanting them as a class in the new garden.

Jim had given Alexis a few pointers and she was more than excited about it.

"I know that it's the first time you've met Rick and you might think it's moving really fast." Kate spoke, looking to her father deciding to finally jump in and tell him.

"Katie, is then when you tell me you're pregnant?" Jim asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

Kate and Rick looked at each other and then to Jim and Martha.

Martha was sitting on the arm of the chair with a knowing smile.

"How did you know?" Kate asked.

"You had the same tells as your mother when she was expecting you. Rosy cheeks, strange food craving, constant playing with your hair."

Kate looked at Rick and then smiled.

"When we had breakfast about a month ago I could tell." Jim laughed.

"And you didn't think to ask?" Kate asked and her father shook his head.

"Not my place, Katie. I knew you'd tell me when you were ready."

"And you knew?" Rick asked Martha and she nodded.

"How?" Rick asked.

"Decaf? Really Richard, it was obvious."

Both Jim and Martha laughed and Rick smiled at Kate.

"Does Alexis know?" Jim asked, looking over to Alexis who was coloring at the table.

"She guessed as well." Rick said, nodding his head.

"Well congratulations are still in order." Jim smiled, reaching for Kate's hand.

"Thanks dad."

-x-

"He's right you know." Rick said quietly as Kate walked in from the bathroom.

"What?"

"About you playing with your hair. I didn't really pick up on it until he said it."

"I didn't even realise I was doing it, he probably just realised because I was tired and I do it when I'm tired." Kate shrugged, crawling into bed next to him.

"I didn't realise."

Kate looked at Rick and frowned.

"You aren't supposed to notice everything, it would be impossible." Kate tugged at his shirt.

"I feel like I've totally missed out." Rick spoke quietly and wouldn't look towards Kate.

"Rick, you're being silly. Look how well tonight went and stop thinking about that. We told our parents that we're expecting a baby and they both we were happy for us."

"I know, I just feel like I missed something happening with you and I don't like the feeling."

"Look at me." Kate said sternly and Rick looked up to her.

"If someone had told me this time last year that in a year I'd be pregnant and living with a man and his daughter that I absolutely adore and love more than I thought possible, I probably would have laughed and rolled my eyes. Sometimes I have to pinch myself so I know this is real. I love you." She smiled, cupping his cheek before leaning into kiss him.

"I love you." He whispered as he moved on top of her and continued the kiss she started.

-x-

"Captain?" Kate stood in the doorway of his office and Montgomery looked up from the file on his desk.

"Detective Beckett, come in."

Kate sat in the chair in front of his desk and looked up to Roy Montgomery.

Her captain, father figure to the entire precinct and friend.

"I'm pregnant." She blurted out suddenly and Montgomery put his best poker face on.

"Congratulations, Kate." He smiled genuinely and Kate's heart swelled.

"Thank you, Sir." She smiled.

"So we should probably sort out a new roster for you and your team considering you'll be on restricted activities from now on?" He was still smiling and he knew Kate well, he knew she'd take this with gritted teeth and suffer through it.

It wasn't that she didn't want to do everything in her power to protect her baby, she did and it scared her how much she would do to protect Bug, but Kate Beckett was stubborn and being forced to sit at a desk was a special kind of hell for her.

She nodded, taking a deep breath in.

-x-

"Ryan and Espo, can I have a minute?" Kate asked from the door of the breakroom.

"Sure." They both smiled, getting up from their desks.

Lanie had come up from the morgue to have coffee with her friend and Kate thought she would just tell them all. She was on a roll so why not.

"So I know that this wasn't exactly the plan but I'm pregnant and I'm on limited activity from now, so I understand if you want a new team member." Kate looked up from the floor to see three matching expressions.

Were they proud?

"You think we didn't know?" Ryan asked, looking to Esposito and then to Lanie and laughed.

"You seriously knew?" She asked, wondering if anyone actually didn't know about it.

"The amount of fries from Remy's you've been eating and the fact that you almost puked at the crime scene the other day were kind of big indicators." Ryan said.

"And plus you're drinking decaf." Esposito added.

"And you almost cried in the morgue the other day, and your stomach? You've hidden it well but seriously Kate, I'm a doctor." Lanie smiled.

Kate sighed, "Well I work with two of the worlds best detectives and a very observant medical examiner who might be too good at her job." Kate smiled before Ryan and Esposito reached down and pulled up two bags.

"What's this?" Kate asked.

"Just something from us, we know that baby showers are girl territory so we thought we'd get in first." Esposito beamed and handed the first bag to Kate.

Kate looked to Lanie.

"I had nothing to do with that but I will be planning your baby shower."

"Thanks guys, really. It means everything that you support me."

NYPD Detectives usually aren't big on hugging but nothing could stop Ryan or Esposito giving Kate multiple congratulatory hugs as they sat in the break room talking about names for the newest member of their family.

-x-

"Are we like the worst people at keeping secrets?" Rick laughed as he looked at the gifts from Ryan and Esposito.

"We must be. Everyone knew." Kate shook her head; she barely believed it herself.

"Even the Captain?" Rick asked.

"Next round of poker, I know his exact tell when he's hiding something." Kate laughed, stretching out in bed.

"These are adorable." Rick held up a tiny NYPD onsie and Kate smiled.

"I swear they raided the entire NYPD merchandise stand, anything for a baby is in those two bags."

Rick held up another onsie that had a printed on uniform and he beamed at Kate.

"Bug is so going to wear all of these."

"You reckon?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"They are totally unisex so it works for either a boy or a girl." He shrugged.

"And they are totally awesome." He said excitedly holding up a tiny hooded sweatshirt that matched one he had seen Kate in.

"If you make one remark about Bug and I wearing matching NYPD hoodies, I'll hurt you."

"Understood." He whispered, knowing she was joking.

Well half joking.

Maybe a quarter.

Kate pulled the covers up and snuggled down.

"We've got that appointment tomorrow." She yawned.

"Straight after we drop Alexis at school?"

Kate nodded and moved slightly to let Rick get into bed before gripping his shirt and laying her head on his chest.

"Night."

"Goodnight, Kate." He kissed her head softly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello all.**

**Hope you all had/still are having an awesome weekend.**

**Remember to let me know what you think of the chapter. **

**Hannah**

**p.s: I saw a picture of a baby the other day in a book and it totally is what I thought Bug would look like. So it's official, Bug now has a gender and possibly a name. (which I've known for awhile but I'm still unsure about it)**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

Week: Eighteen.

Disclaimer: As always.

* * *

><p>It felt like everything was suffocating her. The past three weeks had flown by with a hectic robberydrug/murder case, the first scan of the baby and preparing Alexis for her school production.

She was tired and emotional and nothing felt right. Everyone had been coddling her at the precinct and it was starting to really annoy her. Ryan and Esposito had caught on early and let her do it her own way but everyone else seemed to think she needed constant help.

She was glad that everyone cared so much, that her entire family was ecstatic about the news. The scans showed a perfect and healthy baby, the sex remained a mystery because of their bet and both her and Rick couldn't have been happier.

Alexis was boasting to her friends at school that she was going to be an older sister and it had it thrilled both her and Rick.

But now she was cuddled up on the bed in the spare room feeling horrible because she had it all and yet here she was, hiding from everything.

It used to be Martha's room but when Kate and Rick were at the Hamptons with Alexis, she moved to the smaller room down the corridor exclaiming that the bigger room was too light in the morning and she needed the darkness. Kate and Rick had smiled and agreed but it was clear that Martha moved because she wanted the baby to have the big room.

Martha fluttered in and out of the loft at odd times and rarely was there during the night. She spent the mornings getting Alexis ready for school or having breakfast with them. Kate loved it, loved having her there and Rick would raise an eyebrow when Kate kept looking at the door in the morning waiting for her to arrive.

"Kate?" Rick spoke softly and Kate dragged herself from her thoughts to open her eyes up to Rick.

"Hi." She said sleepily.

"Why are you in here?" He asks, looking around the room before sitting down on the side of the bed.

She shrugs and hides her face in her arm.

There is only the queen bed in here and a few boxes of stuff from her apartment that she hadn't got around to unpacking.

"Kate, what's wrong?" Rick asks, letting his hand fall to her side and rubbing it gently.

"Nothing." She says quietly.

"Kate, please talk to me. I rung the precinct when you didn't pick up your phone and Ryan told me you'd gone home and taken yourself off a case and now I find you up here. Tell me what's going on in that gorgeous head of yours."

Ryan.

He was getting it when she went back to the precinct.

"I just didn't want in on the case, that's all." She was getting angry and she had no idea why.

"That's not like you."

"Well I've dealt with the murdered mother in an alleyway before, I didn't really feel like telling the teenage daughter what I got told at nineteen and ruining her life." She said hurriedly and tears were already pooling in her eyes.

"Kate, I'm so sorry." Rick whispered, moving to lie down next to her.

"It's not your fault." She squeezed her eyes closed tightly.

He said nothing and waited for her to speak, waited for her to open up and tell him everything she was feeling.

"I feel awful." She finally spoke, opening her eyes to find Rick watching her intently.

"Why?" He asked, moving closer to her.

"We told all of our family and they already love this baby, Alexis is on board, work has been accommodating and the scan showed us that our baby is perfect. Rick, what's wrong with me? Why am I not content with everything I have? I should be soaring but I'm hiding away and crying in the spare room."

"First of all, it's not the spare room anymore, it's Bug's room. Secondly, it's natural to feel like everything is up in the air and all over the place, between hormones and just plain life; I don't know how you cope. It's ok to feel sad about your mom too, Kate. I know you miss her and it's not the same that you can't share all of this with her."

She bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes again to stop the tears. Can he ever not say the right thing?

"I shouldn't have left the case."

"If you didn't go voluntarily then the boys would have escorted you home." Rick smiles and runs his hand over her cheek, wiping her tears away.

"They are so overprotective, so is the whole precinct." Kate rolls her eyes.

"And I'm very thankful to them for that. I know you're safe there and it makes it easier when you walk out that door in the morning. You are so strong Kate Beckett, but it's ok to lean on the people around you."

"I just miss her so much." She says in a hushed whisper.

"I know, babe." He kisses her forehead.

"Babe?" She questions, pulling her head away.

"Sorry, it just slipped out." He hides his head in the pillow next to hers and tightly closes his eyes.

She laughs and tugs the pillow so his head falls against the mattress with a thud.

"Ow!" He growls before moving onto her to get the pillow back.

She's in a full fit of giggles now as he tickles her to get the pillow back.

"You don't deserve a pillow if you call me babe." She says, between laughing.

"I didn't even mean to say it." He declares and manages to get the pillow from her.

Expect they both know that he did mean to say it. He knew that it would get a reaction from her and take her mind away from the daunting thoughts that she couldn't shake before.

She silences his victorious gloating by leaning up and kissing him.

-x-

"Daddy!" Alexis squeals as she runs to Rick who just took his first step inside the loft from a long day at a publishing meeting. Kate had the day off and spent it with Alexis and Martha, preparing Alexis for her show tonight.

"Whoa, slow down lost boy!" Rick laughs as he drops his satchel and kneels to Alexis' height.

"Oh look at you, Alexis." Rick smiles, looking over Alexis in her costume and hair and make up complete.

"Grams did my make up and Kate did my plaits."

Kate had spent the morning finishing up Alexis' costume for Peter Pan. It had become her and Alexis' thing to design and make the costume and Martha took the role of acting coach.

Rick had patiently stepped aside and watched from the sidelines.

"You look very gorgeous." Rick kissed her cheek just before she ran back into the lounge to put on her boots. Her two French plaits flying in every direction.

"Look at our little lost boy." Rick smiled, tugging Kate into a hug.

Our.

Breathe Kate.

-x-

Waiting for Alexis to come out from the theatre Kate noticed two familiar faces.

"Kate, how are you?" Sophie hugged her and looked to Rick.

"Good thanks. Sophie and Rena, this is Rick." Kate smiled and watched Rick as they all launched into conversation about how great the production was.

"I think both my children made excellent pirates, regardless of the fact that Riley didn't actually sing and I'm pretty sure Lucy didn't even make it onto the stage." Sophie laughed.

"Maddison fell over, did you see that?" Rena laughed, "Alexis though, absolutely perfect. She should have gone for Wendy or Tinkerbell."

"I think she wanted to be a lost boy because Emily was one." Kate smiled and the moms nodded.

"That's cute. Her and Emily brought the house down." Rena laughed.

"I didn't see Mattea, she still on duty?" Kate asked, looking around the crowded auditorium.

"Yeah, saw Brad before with his video camera. She'll get to watch it over and over when she gets home." Sophie smiled and moved around uncomfortably.

"You ok?" Rena asked.

"Yea, Darren's getting the kids. I need to get home and put my feet up, the baby is getting too big."

She did look noticeably bigger than when Kate saw her last.

"How much longer do you have to go?" Rick asked, his tone sounding completely interested.

"Another month." She sighed and Kate's jaw almost hit the floor but hid it quickly to not seem rude.

The woman was huge.

"I'm as big as a house, you can say it." She laughed.

"Was it the same as your other children?" Kate asked, fearing the worst.

"It ranges but I was bigger than this with Riley so who knows." She waves her hands in the air before she spots her husband and their three children. He's holding the toddler, holding hands with Lucy, the girl that is Alexis' age and the boy, Riley, is holding her hand.

He looks exhausted.

Kate feels exhausted just looking at him.

-x-

"Will I be that big?" Kate asks, watching him unbutton his shirt. She's sitting on the bed, cross legged and in his shirt.

"I don't think there is set size for being pregnant."

"How big did Meredith get?" Kate asks. She knows that he doesn't necessary like to talk about Meredith and her pregnancy. He's mentioned a few things and from everything he's told her, it didn't sound like the greatest time for him.

"She wasn't big but I couldn't really tell. She wore dresses that covered the bump most days and by the end she could barely stand to be in the same room as me. Hormones and Meredith weren't a good combination." He shrugs, acting like it doesn't faze him to talk about but there is something there that isn't right.

"What's with you and getting the crazy hormonal pregnant partners." She smiles, trying to lighten the mood.

"Don't you ever compare yourself to Meredith again. What you have been feeling is actual pain, Kate. The hormones intensify the feelings, but you've faced actual hurdles in your life. You've faced things that some people don't come back from and she didn't."

"Rick-" She kneels on the bed and pulls him towards her.

"Just don't compare yourself to her please."

"I wont. I wont." She shakes her head and holds his forearm tightly.

"Good." He whispers.

"What did she do? I know you had your problems and Alexis wasn't planned but there is something there, Rick, something you keep very quiet. Tell me."

He sighed, closing his eyes tightly before taking a deep breath.

"I convinced her to let me into the delivery room when she had Alexis. I was only allowed by her head and was barely allowed to speak without her yelling at me. It was a long pregnancy, around the twenty-third hour things started to get going. Meredith turned to me at one point and told me she hated me for doing this to her, that she'd never forgive me for what I'd done."

"Rick, she was in labor. I'm sure woman say that all the time to husbands or partners. I'm sure she didn't mean it."

"She meant it, Kate. She didn't want kids and then she fell pregnant and we were naive enough to believe it wouldn't change us. We thought we could do it all, that nothing had to change and she never did. I changed the second Alexis was handed to me and she tried, god she tried, but it's not in her. I don't blame her for that, I blame her for other things but I know that deep down she loves Alexis, she always has but it's harder for her to show."

"Thank you for telling me." Kate whispers quietly as she lets her nose rub against his in light Eskimo kisses.

He nods but still looks towards the floor.

"Look at me." Kate stays sternly.

He drags his eyes to meet hers.

"That won't be us, I promise it won't be us."

He smiles, "I know it wont be."

"I'm hungry." She falls back down onto the bed and smiles.

"You ate more ice-cream than I did at the diner." Rick laughs, moving to lean over her.

"I know and yet, still hungry." She shrugs, stretching her legs out and wraps then around Rick's waist.

"What would you like me to get you? Olives? Cookie dough?"

Kate screws up her face at both choices. Not something sweet, she ate enough ice-cream.

"Scrambled eggs." She answers without even thinking.

He hangs his head and laughs before lowering his head and lifting the shirt Kate is wearing.

He kisses her exposed belly, "Mummy is so weird."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry this has taken almost a month to get to you. I haven't been feeling inspired lately to write anything. <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed it, I promise to get back to you all on previous reviews aswell. I'm getting very very slack and need a good telling off!**

**All the best for the week.**

**Hannah**

**x**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty-Two

Week: Twenty-Two

Disclaimer: I wish.

* * *

><p>She's raking her fingers through her hair to put it up when she drops her hair tie, she bends down to get it and her belly stops her from doing it as easily as usual. The last four weeks her stomach has grown immensely and everyone has been commenting on it. When Esposito said something at the start of the week about it, she drew defensive and was ready to fight until she realised just how big she had grown. Rick marvels every night at her belly and how it is growing. She's officially on desk duty and the days have been going slower, although Rick has been spending the mornings at the precinct with her. He sits next to her desk as she does paperwork and even helps on cases. Montgomery happily signed off on it before Kate could even protest.<p>

"What's with the face?" Kate asks, watching Rick fidget in the seat next to her desk.

His seat.

"I have to go to this thing tomorrow in the Hamptons." He puts his phone back in his pocket and sighs.

"What is it?" She closes the file and pulls another one down from the pile.

"It's a charity thing for Black Pawn. We do it every year." He shrugs.

"And you don't want to go?"

"Usually it falls on a Monday or Friday so Alexis and I go spend the weekend in the Hamptons, but this year it doesn't. I wont get back till late, do you think you could pick her up from school?"

Kate smiles, loving how easy their routine is.

"Yeah sure, I'll tell the boys when they get back that I'll be going early tomorrow, not that it'll matter since I'm just doing paperwork."

"Kate, you're still doing your job. This is still important." Rick says sternly and she knows that she is being silly but she misses the chase and thrill of it.

She went to the crime scene for the case they are dealing with right now and before she even crossed the tape she could feel her stomach churning. She pushed the feeling down and proceeded to the body. Lanie gave her a surprised look but said nothing. Ryan said nothing as he held her hair while she vomited into a trashcan.

That was the day she accepted desk duty.

"I know. It's just hard being here and not being able to back the boys." Just as she finishes speaking Ryan and Esposito walk through into the bullpen with two suspects in cuffs. One is swearing in Spanish and the other one looks like he is going to be sick.

"The quiet one did it." Both Kate and Rick say in unison and they laugh.

-x-

"Have fun." Kate smiled at Rick as she unclipped her seatbelt outside of the 12th.

"Not likely." He sighed and Kate rolled her eyes.

"You'll be back tonight, stop being a baby."

"I'm not." He pouts and she gives him her famous 'are you serious?' look.

"Fine I am. Give Alexis a kiss for me."

"Rick, you just did when you dropped her at school ten minutes ago."

He huffs and she can't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'll give her one when I pick her up." She leans over and kisses his cheek. He turns quickly and captures her mouth. Before he can drag her over to him she pulls away and pushes him away when he reaches for her.

"We cannot be making out outside the precinct and stop delaying this trip. The faster you get on the road, the faster this is all over." She rolls her eyes and smiles at him.

"You look really sexy today." He winks at her and she pushes her door open before he can reach for her again.

"Don't say things like that when I'm about to go to work, you know there are consequences." She's standing on the sidewalk now, arms crossed and scowling at him.

"I usually enjoy the consequences, and from memory so do you. Like that time on the office floor when you-"

"Castle!" She yells and he smiles.

"Using my last name won't help this situation, you know how much it turns me on." His voice is lower, huskier and she needs to get into the precinct before she makes them both very late.

"You're insufferable." She lets the door close and turns to walk up the stairs.

"Kate." He calls and she turns to him, head to the side and hiding a slight smile.

"I love you." He says and she bites her bottom lip.

"I love you, too." She says and gives him a quick wave. She watches as he pulls out into traffic and then makes her way inside.

-x-

"Beckett, there you are." Ryan looks a little puffed as he leans against the file cabinet to catch his breath.

"Finding me wore you out?" She laughs and he shakes his head.

"Ran down a suspect this morning. Ten blocks."

And she feels for him, even walking a block at the moment tires her out.

"So?" She asks, waiting for him.

"Marlowe Elementary rung your cell phone."

She pats down her blazer pockets in horror. She left her phone upstairs? Why were they ringing? Alexis. Oh god.

She hates pregnancy brain.

"Calm down, she's ok." Ryan smiles and Kate looks to him and breathes.

"They couldn't get hold of Rick so they rung you." He says and she knows by his tone that he's going to bring that one up later.

"Alexis was playing outside at recess and fell. She's hurt her wrist but she's ok, the nurse checked her out but she wants to go home."

"Her wrist?" She tries to keep her voice under control but it's wavering between normal and completely out of control.

"It's not bad, Beckett. I've told Captain and Esposito that you've gone to get her and we'll see you tomorrow." He hands her her bag and she wonders why she didn't see it before.

"Thank you." She says as he ushers her out of the record room.

"Let me know how she is." He holds the door open as she walks through.

-x-

She's in the doctor's office, waiting for Alexis to get her x-ray when she pulls out her phone.

_K: I hope you read this before you see all the missed calls. Alexis is fine, I've picked her up from Marlowe. We're at the doctor's office to just make sure. Call me when you can. X._

She puts her phone away and watches Alexis as she walks out of the room. She was hesitant about letting her go alone but she's not allowed in the room because she's pregnant and Alexis took it like a grown up.

"Mrs Castle?" The doctor asks and Alexis gives her a funny look.

"Yes." Kate replies and smiles. They really don't need to be bothered with 'I'm not actually her mother, but I am pregnant with her fathers baby' speech.

"Alexis' wrist is fine. There are no breaks or fractures but I suggest she takes the rest of the day off, go home and ice it. She can wear the sling for the next few days until the swelling goes down but other than that, she's perfectly healthy.

"Thank you." Kate sighs as she reaches for Alexis' good hand.

"Home time." Kate asks as they step out of the clinic and head towards the loft and Alexis nods before yawning.

-x-

"What happened?" He blurts down the phone the second she answers it.

"She fell over at school and landed on her arm. The school nurse checked it out but I went to the clinic for x-rays just to be sure. She's got a sling but it's just until the swelling goes down and she's iced it, and it's looking a lot better."

"Kate, I got the biggest fright when I saw the missed calls from her school."

"I thought you might, that's why I messaged you instead of rung." She drops the dish brush into the sinks and dries her hand.

"What's she doing now?" He asks, his voice calmer than before.

"Watching Disney channel."

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning under the sink." She says like what she is doing is the most normal thing in the world.

"What?" He laughs, mood completely lifting.

"I'm cleaning the cupboard under the sink." She repeats without a missing a beat.

"Why?" He asks, laughter still echoing in his voice.

"I don't really know. I just feel like cleaning and the door bit was sticky from when you decided to throw jelly around the kitchen."

"That was for Alexis' school science project." He defends himself and she rolls her eyes even though he can't see her.

"You tell yourself that, Rick." She jokes and walks into the lounge.

"I do, every single night." He chuckles.

"Alexis, dad's on the phone." She hands the phone over before she can think to say goodbye but he'll be home tonight so she's not too worried.

Alexis brings her phone out to the kitchen after she's hung up from Rick.

"Dad said to tell you that he'll see you later and that if you touch the jelly crystals he'll know." Kate has to laugh at Alexis' confused face.

"How's the wrist?" Kate asks, hanging the hand towel back on the oven handle.

"It's ok. I just have to get used to not using it for awhile." She shrugs and looks to the floor.

"What's wrong?" Kate asks, not used to seeing this side to Alexis.

"I'm glad you're here because dad gets far too worried sometimes and I like that you're being laid back about this."

"But?"

"Since I can remember we've had a routine when I'm home from school. It started because I hated missing school and he used to do it to distract me."

"What do you do?"

"We make a fort and play board games usually. He teaches me card games and then I bet him every time." She smiles but Kate knows that this is hard for her. Her dad is always there and this time he isn't.

"He'll be back tonight Alexis, you can stay up and wait for him. You'll have tomorrow off school as well, so you can do it with him then." Kate smiles, reaching out to run her hands through the girl's bright red hair.

"We could do it? I mean play board games?"

Kate's heart pounds with this offering from Alexis. To let her into their secret routines but she can't help but shake her head.

Alexis nods, "You're busy, you brought the paperwork home that you didn't get done today."

Kate's big bag is at the front door with files exploding from the top of it. She shakes her head at Alexis and then thinks for a second.

"The board games and fort is you and your dad's routine. Instead we could make our own thing? Start something new?" Kate hesitates, but when she sees Alexis beam she can't help but smile.

"Like what?" Alexis is getting excited and Kate is as well. She remembers doing this with her mom, watching Temptation Lane on the couch all day.

Before she lets the sadness creep in she opens the fridge and looks back to Alexis.

"We could incorporate a few things from you and your dad's routine and something I used to do with my mother?"

"Yes!" Alexis squeals.

-x-

Kate pushes the one seat couches in front of the three seater to make a pod and Alexis carefully brings down spare blankets and pillows and arranges them on the couch. They take as much food as they can hold and Kate closes all the curtains and they settle in the pod. They set up the DVD and Aladdin begins.

It's one of the classics of at home sick movies.

"Is this what you did with your mom?" Alexis asks, only after a minute.

"A few times yeah, she was really busy with work so I'd go to my Grandma's house but I can remember spending afternoons with mom when I was sick, we'd watch Temptation lane though." Kate smiles, reaching for the popcorn.

"That's a nice memory." Alexis looks back to the movie but Kate watches her and she can't remember loving as much as she does right now.

They are halfway through the movie when Kate has to move around to get comfortable.

"Is the baby kicking?" Alexis asks, looking to the bump and back to Kate.

"Not yet, just hurts a bit to be stuck in one spot for too long."

"Has she kicked yet?"

"I've felt some weird movements but I can't tell if it's just me or the baby. Should be any day soon though." Kate runs her hands over her belly and then looks back to Alexis.

"Could I feel when she does kick?" She asks shyly and Kate takes her good hand.

"Alexis, you don't have to ask to touch my stomach. Just go ahead, I don't mind." She drops her hand on her stomach and Alexis stills before she runs her fingers over the bump.

"It's weird that she's in there."

"You're pretty sure it's a girl?" Kate asks, wanting to know if she is just saying it casually or she actually thinks that Bug is a girl.

"It is." Alexis grins.

"How do you know?"

"Because then they'll be three of us against dad, four if we include grams and that would be really awesome."

Kate laughs and squeezes Alexis' hand.

-x-

"Rick?" She whispers as someone picks her up from the couch.

"Yes?" He mumbles in her ear as he carries her through into their room.

"You're home?" It comes out as a question but she's really tired and oh, he's pulled the blankets down for her already and she's stiff from falling asleep on the couch.

"Yeah I am, sleep Kate."

She wakes an hour later and he's in bed typing.

"Did I wake you?" He asks, closing the laptop and putting it on the floor next to him.

"No, I have to go toilet." She rolls her eyes and pushes the blanket down. She knows that he's suppressing a smile but she ignores him as she walks out through the office and into the lounge.

Alexis is still fast asleep in the pod, blankets all wrapped around her. Her hair is everywhere and her arm carefully rests on a spare pillow.

She walks back into their room and into the bathroom. She needs to brush her teeth; she can still taste oreos and popcorn and she needs to get out of this damn bra.

"I was wondering if you were sleep walking when you walked past the bathroom." He smiles up to her when she climbs into the bed over him.

"Checked on Alexis." She whispers as she snuggles back down into the blankets.

"Thank you for today." His hand runs under her shirt and he runs his fingers up and down her spine.

"We had fun."

"I can tell." He laughs, kissing her nose gently.

"She told me about her routine with you when she's sick. I told her about my routine with my mother when I was sick and we put them together and made our own." She says proudly and he tugs her into him.

"Kate, that means so much." His voice is laced with emotion. She kisses him gently before she giggles.

"What?" He pulls his head away and looks down to her.

"She reckons bug is a girl. Said it would be awesome because it'll be me, her, Martha and bug against you."

"I'll get her for that tomorrow." He murmurs and she knows that he'll play the guilt trip on Alexis but she won't budge on this.

"How was your thing?" She asks, fighting another yawn.

"Boring."

"Too much like work?" She takes a jab at him and he feigns shocked.

"What is with my family digging in the dagger today?"

"Oh you'll survive." She pats his cheek before snuggling into his chest.

"I don't know if I will." He jokes.

"Go to sleep, Castle."

"I love it when you call me that."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think.**

**Hannah. **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

Week: Twenty-Five

Disclaimer: I wish.

* * *

><p>"Rick!" Kate shoves him.<p>

He mumbles something before falling back to sleep.

"Rick!" She puts her cold feet against his leg and he moves quickly away from her.

"Your feet are freezing!"

"The baby!" She says, reaching out for his shirt and tugs him closer.

He sits up, eyes wide open and turns to her. She's half sitting with her hand on her stomach.

"What's wrong?" He asks, panic infused in his voice.

"Nothing. Bug moved, she's moving." She takes his hand and moves it onto her stomach.

He's quiet as he feels her stomach, feels his child kick for the first time.

"Kate, Bug moved. He actually moved." He's marveled at the feeling of the baby kicking.

Kate had no idea what it was when it woke her. It was a weird feeling of someone tickling her from the inside following with a massive kick.

"She moved." Kate corrects, laughing as Bug kicks hard against his hand.

"With a kick like that, it has to be a boy."

She rolls her eyes but he steals the moment by leaning down to kiss her.

"I cannot believe she finally woke up." Kate says, looking down at her expanding stomach. She's feeling tears in her eyes, her breath is shaky and she is trying not to cry because she's worried if she starts then she won't stop.

"Kate, we made that tiny little baby in there. He is half you and half me, that is amazing." He smiles up to her and she loses her self-control. The dam breaks. She lets the tears flow and he moves, pulls her in close and lets her cry.

-x-

"Hi." Rick smiles as he walks into the precinct.

"Hey." She smiles. Letting her pen drop and reaches out for the paper bag in his hand.

"Should I be offended that you look more enthusiastic about the bear claw than seeing me?" He asks, happily letting her take the bag.

"She's been talking about pastries all morning so no, I wouldn't be offended bro." Rick knowingly nods, taking Esposito's extended hand and shaking it.

"All morning?" He asks Kate, not even bothering to hide his smile.

"I mentioned it like once." She rolls her eyes.

Esposito shakes his head and holds up both hands, showing just how many times she's brought up food during the morning.

"Finally got that bear claw?" Ryan smiles, joining the group and Kate sighs.

Rick can't help but laugh and shake his head at his girlfriend.

"Wow, I really feel like you two have my back right now. We are such a great team." Kate says sarcastically, screwing up the empty bag.

Both Esposito and Ryan laugh and then return to Ryan's desk to see who will become coin toss champions.

"So it looks like you are busy." Rick says, gazing around the empty bullpen.

"Yeah, no one has cases. It always happens like this, it's the calm before the storm."

"Captain out?" He asks, looking into the office for any sign of Montgomery.

"He's upstate for a funeral." Kate says, closing a file and opening another one.

"Wanna skip out with me then?" He asks excitedly.

"Rick, this isn't grade school, I can't just skip out." She laughs and gives him that smile that she knows he loves.

"Go for it. We've got the fort, boss."

"We'll call you if there is a body." Ryan and Esposito both chime in and Kate looks over to them.

"Did your mothers not teach you about eavesdropping?" Kate asks, her stern voice barely recognizable.

"I missed that class." Ryan says shrugging.

"Go before we change our minds and one of us leaves." Esposito grabs a piece of paper and begins to fold into a paper plane.

"Thank you." Kate smiles at them, the feeling of love totally overwhelming her. She loves her family here, loves that she has the boys and Lanie.

-x-

They walk hand in hand to Alexis' school and wait out the front for her to finish. Rick talks to one of the fathers about the school production and getting a video of it. Kate sees some of the mothers looking her up and down but looks away, not bothering with them.

Alexis comes bombarding out of the front gates with red hair flying everywhere and runs straight to Kate.

"Kate!" She squeals and it's like she hasn't seen her in forever.

It's been six hours since they parted ways this morning.

"How was school?" Kate asks, taking Alexis' hand as they begin to walk.

"It was ok." She shrugs, going shy.

"Pumpkin, what's wrong? You love school. Usually I can't get you to shut up on the way home."

"There is this boy and he annoyed me all day today." Alexis sighs and Kate holds back a smile.

"Annoyed you how?" Rick asks, stopping at the gates to the park to let Kate and Alexis through first.

"He kept talking to me when I was trying to concentrate and then at break he followed me around. When we were in the library, he sat next to me." Alexis rubs her forehead with her spare hand like she's seriously conflicted about this situation and Kate can't help but laugh.

"Sounds like he likes you." Kate jokes but Rick glares at her.

"Don't say that." Alexis says dramatically and walks off from the pair to look into the pond at the park.

"It looks like you're about to start breathing fire, Rick." Kate says, sitting down on the park bench.

"A boy likes my daughter."

"And?"

"Kate, she's ten. Ten! Oh god, she's going to start dating soon and then she'll go to college and get married." Rick says, words falling out of his mouth quickly.

"Stop!" Kate says, grabbing his hand and pulls him down next to her.

"Alexis is ten and a boy likes her. The only thing that is going to come from this is Alexis being more repulsed by boys. You need to calm down."

"How are you not freaked out? I bet your father tried to keep you at home as soon as you turned fifteen." Rick says shaking his head, leaning back onto the chair.

Kate throws her head back and laughs and Rick looks at her confused.

"Alexis isn't fifteen. But when she turns fifteen, we can revisit this conversation and we'll talk about dating then."

"She isn't dating until she turns eighteen." Rick adds, crossing his arms.

"Sixteen." Kate tries.

"Seventeen." Rick counters and Kate rolls her eyes.

"Sixteen and a half."

"Deal." Rick holds out hand and Kate shakes it.

"I hope you're not going to be one of those dads that lingers around when she has a boy around."

"She's not having boys over. Kate, you're making me age years just with this conversation." Rick whines.

"You are being a baby about this."

"Speaking of babies. Bug better be a boy purely based on the fact I cannot deal with this dating thing twice."

"So instead of you dealing with it, someone else's dad has to worry about their daughter or son dating our son?"

"Yes." Rick answers, like it's the most normal thing that has come out of his mouth.

"You are ridiculous." She shakes her head at him and smiles at Alexis who has made her way over.

"What's going on?" Alexis asks, looking to Kate and then back to Rick.

"Your father is being silly."

"What's new?" Alexis shrugs and Kate laughs holding up a hand to high-five Alexis.

"Please be a boy." Rick pleads and both Kate and Alexis sigh.

-x-

"What do you want for dinner?" Rick asks from the kitchen, standing in front of the fridge.

Alexis is out with Martha for their weekly dinner. She takes Alexis somewhere flash, lets her get all dressed up and they have dessert before the main course. It's a great tradition that Kate loves and it gives her and Rick a night in alone.

"I want that chicken salad thing from Jeffery's." She answers flicking channels.

"You know that you can't have that. Last time you were sick." Rick says gently.

"I want it." Kate argues back, getting from the couch to walk into the kitchen.

"Kate, I'll go down to the store and buy everything and make it for you here. Then we know everything is cooked and prepared properly." He smiles.

"I want it from Jeffery's."

"No." He answers simply.

"Why are you doing this? Just let me eat what I want!" She yells, actually yells across the kitchen to him. He closes the fridge and turns to her, with a look like he is ready to fight.

"The last time you ate that, you spent two hours hugging the toilet. You made me promise that I wouldn't let you ever eat that again."

She rocks back and forth, thinking back to that night. She hates her stupid pregnancy brain forgetting the most mundane things like that.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." She says, voice quiet.

"It's ok. What do you want for dinner?" He asks again, knowing that she won't fight him on this any longer.

"What do you feel like?" She asks, coming into the kitchen.

"I could go for pasta, maybe alfredo?" He asks, opening the other cupboard to look for pasta.

"Yeah sure." Her stomach is already churning at the thought of eating cheese. She hates cheese as of today.

Rick stops, putting the pasta back and turns to her with a sly look on his face.

"You don't want pasta do you?"

She shakes her head, gives him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry I am so annoying." She confesses but he tugs her hand towards him, pulls her into a bear hug in the middle of the kitchen.

"You're not annoying. A little irritating, but only a little." He jokes.

"Hey!" She pokes him in the stomach and tries to move away but he's wrapped his arms around her and won't let her go.

"I'm kidding!" He laughs.

"You're not funny." She feigns anger and scowls at him.

"You're so adorable when you put that grumpy face on." He kisses her nose, lets her go and goes back to the fridge as the door buzzes.

Kate looks to Rick and shrugs. Whoever it is has managed to get past Eduardo so they have to know them.

"I'll get it." Kate smiles, walking to the door. She unlocks the door and pulls it open. There is a redheaded, petite, gorgeous looking woman standing on the other side.

"You must be Kate." She holds out her hand to Kate and she takes it, not really sure about what to do.

"Hi." She says, knowing exactly who it is but she can't really be sure because the pure shock is blinding everything.

"I'm Meredith, Richards wife and Alexis' mother. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I know it's been AGES since I updated this story. I've been totally slacking with writing in general so I'm super sorry.**

**Regards to this story, there are going to be a few changes. I'm either going to fully finish it up in a few chapters because I feel like it's dragging and you're all bored.**

**Or...I'm going to do like six(ish) more chapters to finish the pregnancy and then possibly write a sequel with about a year gap. I don't really know just yet what I'm going to do. **

**Hope you liked that I wrote this nice fluffy chapter and then BOOM Meredith shows up. I am evil.**

**Hannah**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Three

Week: Twenty-Five

Disclaimer: I still wish.

* * *

><p>Kate stands glued to the spot. She has absolutely no idea what to say, what to do and Meredith is just standing there with a smirk on her face.<p>

"Richard!" She calls out, voice echoing throughout the loft.

"Oh no." He says, walking to the door. He's standing behind Kate, hand finding her hip but Kate moves out of the way, lets Meredith through. Rick is trying to find Kate's eye but she won't look over to him.

"Way to greet family." She says rudely as she pulls her suitcase over the threshold and then leaves it, walks right into the loft and turns around.

"Where is Alexis?"

"Dinner with Mother. Why are you here?" Rick asks, moving away from the suitcase she's abruptly left in the way.

"I promised Alexis that I would come see her and here I am. Wouldn't want me to break any promises would you?" She raises an eyebrow at him seductively and Kate has to look away.

"Bit late for that." Rick murmurs as he shakes his head at her. Meredith is about to speak but Rick talks again before she can say anything. He needs to not go into all of that with Kate in the same room as her. It's too much and it's old news now, he's over Meredith completely and Meredith needs to know that.

"You could have rung and told me. You can't just barge in here and demand to see Alexis. She has school in the morning, a routine that she likes and enforces more than I do." Rick's voice is gaining volume, as he gets more upset about the entire situation.

"Calm down, I'm not going to upset her precious routine. She's been talking on the phone so much about Kate as well, I just had to come and visit." Her eyes turn towards Kate and she suddenly feels very exposed.

"Meredith." Rick warns but Meredith takes a step closer to Kate.

"I found out that you were having another child because Alexis is ten years old and let it slip into a conversation. Poor thing didn't even know she'd told me. How hard would it have been to ring and tell me?" Meredith throws Rick's words back at him.

"It has nothing to do with you."

"It does if it changes my daughters life."

"Our daughter." Rick corrects her and Kate wonders how many times he's had to do that before.

How many times they've had a fight like this over Alexis.

On cue, Alexis barrels through the front door and stops as soon as Meredith comes into her view. She looks from Meredith to Rick, eyes open wide. This entire thing just got a heap more complicated.

"Mom?"

"Hi honey." Meredith opens out her arms and Alexis doesn't look away from Rick until he slightly nods and she goes to hug her mother.

Martha is standing in the doorway, not even bothering to hide the unamused expression on her face.

"Ring me, Kiddo." She says and Rick nods, watches her leave the loft before returning to look at Alexis. She is standing there looking at her father, her eyes pleading for him to fix this.

"Alexis will you please go and get ready for bed." Rick asks and she nods, turns and runs up the stairs like it's a race.

"How far along are you?" Meredith asks and Kate finally looks at the woman standing in front of her.

She's stunning.

She's is utterly stunning. Her perfectly tousled red hair flows off her shoulders and half way down her back, her slim frame carrying her Gucci dress perfectly and Kate doesn't even want to look at the shoes. They'll be designer and she knows it.

"Twenty-Five weeks." Kate answers her without hesitation. She isn't going to let Meredith intimidate her. She's a cop and she deals with murderers and thieves and she will not let Meredith scare her.

"Boy or girl?"

"We decided not to find out." Kate answers again, not taking her eyes away from Meredith for a second.

"How do you know what to shop for then?" Meredith asks, confused by her answer.

"We'll buy neutral colors for when the baby is born and then colored clothes later."

Meredith shrugs her shoulders like she's unimpressed, turns back to Rick and smiles at him. Kate can feel herself breathing heavily, her heart thumping against her chest.

"I'm ready." Alexis calls from the top of the stairs in her pajamas.

It's clear Rick doesn't want to go and read to Alexis and leave the Meredith and Kate downstairs alone, but he doesn't want to upset the routine he just told Meredith about. The routine Alexis has been enforcing long before she even knew what a routine was.

"Would you like to read to Alexis tonight?" Rick asks Meredith quietly, hoping to get some time alone with Kate.

"I want to talk to you about certain things that my lawyer rung me about before I do anything." Meredith hisses, careful for Alexis not to hear.

"I'll read to her. Give you some time to talk." Kate smiles at Rick before walking towards the stairs. Alexis is now waiting at the bottom, looking between the three adults.

"Say goodnight." Kate tells her and Alexis pounds across the room, throwing her arms around her dad. She's less enthusiastic about Meredith but hugs her before returning to Kate's side.

She reads Alexis three books before the girl falls asleep. She walks down the stairs and the room suddenly goes silent. Rick is watching her intently but Kate smiles, says goodnight and walks into the office and through to the bedroom, leaving him and Meredith in the lounge.

-x-

"Kate?" Rick says gently, running his hand down her cheek.

"Yeah?"

"Can you wake up a bit?" He asks and she opens her eyes, stretches out and looks up to him. He hasn't changed into his pajamas yet and he looks exhausted as he sits on her side of the bed. She pulls herself up, wraps her arm around his and rests her chin on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers.

"It's ok." Kate smiles weakly.

"Kate, don't lie." He laughs as he turns his head, leans in and softy kisses her nose.

"What does she want?" Kate asks, tightening the grip around his arm.

"To move back and share custody of Alexis."

Kate's mouth falls open in shock; she has no idea what to even say to that.

"Yeah, I had the same face when she told me. I can't help but think she's just doing this to get involved in everything, Kate."

"You can't think that, you have to think that she's doing the best thing for Alexis. Otherwise it'll just blow up into this massive fight and she'll get caught in the middle of it and she's older now and you won't get away with her not knowing what was happening like last time."

"I know." He says as he runs his hand over his face.

"Where is she now?" Kate asks, taking his hand away from his face and entwining her fingers with his.

"Sent her to The Four Seasons. I didn't want her to stay here; it will be too confusing for Alexis now. She'll come over tomorrow and we'll go down to the lawyers and talk things out."

"You have to go to the lawyers?" Kate asks concerned about how quickly this has progressed in a few hours.

"I want everything that is said to be documented and said in front of someone else. Plus if we're in someone else's office there is less chance of us yelling at each other." He tries to smile but it falls flat.

"Are you going to let her have joint custody?" Kate asks.

"No. Not yet anyway. Alexis looks at her like she is some random person in her life, she doesn't look at her like it's her mother. I don't think she'll forgive me if I give her up for a week at a time and I don't want her to feel like because you're here now, and soon Bug will be, that we're pushing her to the side, making her go with her mother because we want time to ourselves."

"I didn't even think of it that way." Kate sighs as she falls back onto the bed.

"Everyway I look at it there is another side to it all." Rick shakes his head, looking completely defeated.

"Come to bed, you can sort it all out tomorrow and you need some sleep." Kate pulls on his hand.

"We didn't even eat." Rick looks to her and then down to Bug.

"Go get me something to eat then and then we'll sleep." She shoves her foot under the covers to get him moving.

"Alright." He holds his hands up in surrender and gets up from the bed.

He comes back a few short minutes later with fruit salad and ice cream and Kate isn't even surprised.

"Great snack to eat before bed." She says, watching him pull his top off and throw it into the laundry basket. She eats a few strawberries and then leans over to leave it on his beside drawers.

"You need to eat more than that, Kate." Rick fusses, climbing into bed next to her.

"I ate a bag of potato chips I had in my bag when I was waiting in here." Kate says, fiddling with her phone to set the alarm.

"Is that why there are crumbs in the bed?" He asks, looking down to her.

"No?" She shakes her head, trying her hardest to look innocent.

"I hate crumbs in the bed." He whines, moving his feet around to try and get rid of them all.

"Well doing that is only going to make it worse." She says quietly as she snuggles into the blanket unaffected by the remains of her chips.

"Lucky I love you and can put up with crumbs in the bed and your…" He stops, looks down to her and freezes.

"My what?" She raises an eyebrow at him, urging him on.

"Your dazzling smile." He says, putting the empty bowl back on his dresser.

"Because whatever you were about to say doesn't even come close to the monstrosity that is your ex-wife, that also just barrelled through the front door." She pulls the blanket over her head, like the day back in the Hamptons.

"Classic Kate Beckett hiding move right there."

"I am not hiding." She confesses, squeezing her eyes closed. Rick joins her under the sheet, moving to lie on his side next to her.

"Tell me what you're thinking please." He pleads with her.

"She had all of this, you and Alexis in this beautiful home and she gave it up. Then she comes back in and unsettles everything with her perfect hair and clothes, and I don't want it to ruin us." She says gently, like she is afraid to say it too loud in case Meredith is lurking in the shadows.

"Kate, it's not going to ruin anything. I will talk with her and figure it all out like adults. You, Alexis and Bug are all I want, all I'll ever want." He leans down and kisses her before she can say anything more.

-x-

"Kate!" Alexis yells as she runs from the front hall of her school.

"Hey you." Kate says as she hugs Alexis back.

"Why are you here? Dad said that he'd pick me up." Alexis frowns, looking around for her dad.

"Well since I didn't get to see you this morning because I was called in early for a case I thought I'd get you from school and we could get some dinner." Kate smiles, running her hand through Alexis' hair, a habit she picked up awhile back and can't seem to shake.

"What about your case?" Alexis asks, taking Kate's hand as they begin to walk.

"Closed already. It was probably the easiest and quickest case I've ever had."

Alexis smiles at Kate but looks back towards the ground and stops walking.

"Have you heard from dad? He said he was going to have a talk with mom today."

"I talked to him at lunchtime about picking you up. He was going to meet your mom then, maybe they are still talking." Kate shrugs, tries to tug Alexis' hand to keep walking but she stays halted. Rick had given Alexis the short version of why Meredith was in town. He told her that she was looking at moving back to the city and they had to figure out some details.

"It's my fault. I told mom on the phone that you were having a baby and now she's here causing problems and I'm sorry."

"Alexis, you did nothing wrong. Your father should have told her but he just wasn't thinking about it, no one knew that she'd turn up, but we have to think about the positives."

"Like?" Alexis asks, finally moving again.

"Well if she moves back to the city that'll be good for you having your mom here, it's not a punishment, Alexis." Kate says, wanting Alexis to know that this could be a good thing.

"I don't want to be left out when Bug arrives. I don't want to be shipped off for the week at mom's because you and dad want time with the baby and not want me around." Alexis voice quivers as she pushes her words out quickly. Kate stops, pulling Alexis into her and tightly hugging her.

Like father, like daughter.

"That will never happen. No one will ever do that to you. I promise you right now that you will always be wanted and your dad will promise you the exact same thing." Kate kisses the top of her head, keeps her hold on her tight.

"Really?" Alexis asks.

"Always." Kate replies.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I've had this written for awhile now but couldn't finish it. It feels off to me but I need to get it out and keep writing. **

**We'll have a few more chapters of this story to ride out the pregnancy, an epilogue, and then possibly straight into the sequel. Crazy. **

**Also I was wondering if any of you would like to make an image thingy for the story? PM if you're keen.**

**Hope you all are having an awesome week.**

**Hannah**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Week: Twenty-Nine

Disclaimer: Please?

* * *

><p>It's been three weeks since Meredith knocked at the front door. Three long weeks of meetings and hushed arguments between her and Rick, leaving Kate and Alexis to referee from the sidelines.<p>

They gave up trying to organise something at the lawyers in the third meeting and settled for Meredith picking her up from school and brining her back for dinner and getting every second weekend with her.

It ended with Alexis running around the loft at midnight from a sugar rush and then vomiting all over the couch. Rick was fuming the next morning when he talked to Meredith on the phone. Apparently Alexis wouldn't eat her dinner so Meredith let her get her own dessert from the dessert bar, which included six scoops of ice-cream and more lollies than were needed. Meredith was too busy flirting with the director at the next table to notice her daughter eating her own weight in sugar.

But it's all over now, Meredith has her bags packed and is back to Los Angeles for a lead part in a new movie that Rick swore he had nothing to do with.

"Kate?"

Kate looked up to see Rick standing in the doorway to their room.

"Yeah?"

"You alright? I feel like you've been hiding out in here today." He asks, walking over to the bed where Kate is propped up with a new book.

"Tired." She smiles but it falls flat against Rick's intense watch.

"Kate." He sighs, tipping his head to the side, the way he know it makes her crazy.

"I know that happy that Meredith has gone but I also know that deep down there is a part of you that is sad for Alexis' sake. I think Alexis is feeling the same way. I'm not hiding in here but I'm giving you both some time to deal with this."

"You are part of this family, Kate." He interjects.

"Stop," She shakes her head and he looks confused, "I know I'm part of this family, so don't you pull that card on me. All I'm saying is that it was you and Alexis for so long, and you had to deal with Meredith before I came along and you'll have to continue to deal with her for years to come, and I'm happy to stand next to you next time the hurricane hurdles into town but right now you have a ten year old out there that needs a day with her dad."

"I love you Katherine Beckett." He smiles, leans in and kisses her on the cheek.

"Bring me home a surprise." She asks and he raises an eyebrow at her seductively.

"Not that! A food surprise." She laughs throwing a pillow in his direction.

"Fine!" He laughs, dodging the pillow and blows a kiss in her direction.

-x-

"Rick!" Kate screams from the bathroom.

"What?" He answers, sliding into the doorframe and smacking his elbow against the wood.

"What is this?" Kate asks, holding up the towel he used moments before.

"A towel. It's a towel." He's rubbing his elbow, looking like a hurt little boy.

"Why is it on the floor?" Her voice escalades and Rick snaps his head up, clearly noticing the change in her voice.

"I forgot to put it in the washing basket." He says quietly, dropping his hands to his sides.

This was the third time this week that he'd left the towel on the floor.

"How hard is it to put it in the washing basket? Alexis is ten and she manages it every single day."

"I know. I'm sorry." He reaches his hand out to take hers but she turns away from him, throwing the towel in the basket and pulls open the drawer to get out her hairbrush. Rick stands in the doorway watching her until she pushes past him to get through into the bedroom.

She's not even that angry about the towel. There is this raging anger bottled up in her and everything that goes wrong, it spills out of control, and it's usually directed at Rick.

Today, she did yell at a uniform from the 19th Precinct that just came in and dumped all these files on her desk. She was unimpressed to see them when she got back from lunch and even though Esposito and Ryan tried to get to them before her, she was still quicker. Officer Ragley really copped a telling off and Kate didn't hold back. Then he had the balls to tell her that his captain sent him because the 12th Precinct had found a similar murder in their jurisdiction and it was now their case. Then she rung the Captain of the 19th Precinct and yelled at him.

Ryan and Esposito stood there in shock as she laid into the Captain and read him the proper protocol for dropping files at another precinct. Captain Montgomery even came out of his office and watched.

"Kate?" Alexis asked and Kate looked up from the kitchen counter.

As soon as she saw Alexis hold up the hairbrush and elastic hair bands, the anger simply melted away.

"Want braids?" She asks, walking with Alexis into the lounge.

"Could you do the French plaits again? Two of them?" She asks, eyes hopeful.

"Of course." Kate smiles, sitting down on the couch.

Alexis settles on the floor, between Kate's legs and bows her head. She doesn't make a fuss as Kate pulls the brush through her hair and then sections the hair into two. She can feel Rick watching from the office door but doesn't make eye contact with him just yet.

She feels horrible for being so angry about the dumbest of things. She didn't talk to him for two hours the day before because he drunk all the orange juice and didn't buy her anymore. He offered to go to the store and get her some, even make her freshly squeezed juice, but she went and sulked in their room.

She didn't even want the stupid orange juice because it gives her heartburn now.

"Did you watch this episode?" Alexis asks, flipping through the recorded programs and Kate looks up to the television. Her and Alexis have been watching documentaries on animals in Africa and Kate missed last weeks one.

"I watched it the other night when I got home but I fell asleep before the end." Kate leans back in the chair, admiring her work.

"I'm going to watch it again." Alexis clicks plays and leans back into the couch, resting her head against Kate's knee.

It's another ten minutes before Rick sits down next to Kate on the couch. He hands Alexis a small bowl of popcorn and some juice and then hands Kate some too.

Apple juice because she complained at the precinct that the orange juice or soda gives her heartburn and popcorn lightly covered in powdered sugar. Salty and sweet, just the way she likes it. She looks down at her popcorn and squeezes her eyes closed and tries to breathe. She feels his arm wrap around her and he moves closer, tugs her in and kisses the side of her head.

"I'm sorry." She says discreetly so she doesn't interrupt Alexis.

"It's fine." He answers, popping a piece of his popcorn in his mouth.

He brought his own in so she didn't have to share hers.

"I don't know why I get so angry. I rung the captain of another precinct and yelled at him today."

Rick chuckles and shakes his head.

"I know."

"How?" Kate asks, moving away to look at Rick.

"Don't get angry with the boys, but they mentioned when I came in to meet you today that you had an eventful day." He's smiling at her, that lopsided grin that makes her melt.

"Of course they mentioned it." Kate rolls her eyes and snuggles back into Rick's side.

-x-

"Rick." Kate moans, shoving her cold feet against his legs.

"Cold." He shudders, rolling over.

"Stop snoring." She whines.

Five minutes later he's back to snoring like a freight train and she's getting wild. She has work in the morning and then an appointment at the doctors.

"Castle!" She pushes him to roll over again and he doesn't budge.

She drags herself out of bed, feet freezing against the cold floor and makes her way to the stairwell. She'll sleep in the spare room, the one they are yet to convert into the nursery.

Great, she's going to think about that all night now.

Alexis' door is open and she's asleep on one side of her queen-sized bed. Kate thinks for a moment before tiptoeing in and getting in with Alexis. She stirs and then rolls over, faces Kate and cuddles into the blanket.

She loves this girl.

-x-

"There you are!" Rick exclaims as Kate walks down the stairs in the morning.

"Here I am." She says, more snarky than she intended.

"I woke up and you weren't here but all your things were and I got confused."

"I slept in Alexis' room, you were snoring." She shrugs, walking into the bedroom.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" He asks, and she turns to face him.

"I did. Twice. You weren't budging and I've got a big day today." Kate pulls off Rick's shirt that she slept in and throws it into the washing basket. She leaves Rick standing in the bathroom and steps into the shower, not bothering to finish the conversation.

-x-

Both him and Alexis have gone by the time she gets out of the bathroom. She's ready for work and goes to grab her keys when she sees a note from Rick.

'_I'm sorry about snoring. I'll make sure you fall asleep first tonight._

_Ring me after you see Dr. Patrick._

_I love you. R.'_

The anger diminishes and she's left with guilt and remorse. She's going to apologise when she sees him because she knows how horrible the yoyo feeling is. It's how she felt with her dad after her mom died. Some nights he'd be so drunk when she got home that she'd have to carry him to his bed and others, he'd be sitting in his chair sober. She used to dread going home because she never knew what was waiting for her.

And now she's doing that to Rick.

-x-

"Everything looks good." Dr. Patrick says as she smiles up from the file.

Kate had been prodded and pushed for her fortnightly doctors appointment.

"I'm glad." Kate smiles, looking down at her ever growing belly and sits further up in the chair.

"Lets put the baby aside for a second, everything going alright with you? How is Rick?"

"I'm fine and so is Rick. Alexis has a school trip to the museum so that's where Rick is." Kate answers, not looking Dr. Patrick in the eye.

"Everything going alright at home? No tension or arguments?" Dr. Patrick asks, putting the file down on her desk and turns to Kate.

She is like a mind reader and Kate feels like she can be read like an open book.

"I've been getting angry at people over the smallest of things. I almost arrested someone the other day because they were walking too slowly on the sidewalk."

Dr. Patrick nods and a small smile hits the corners of her mouth.

"And Rick?" She asks, like she already knows the answer.

"Is getting most of it thrown in his direction. I can't help it, as soon as it's over I feel awful and he just takes it." Kate admits, feeling guilty from this mornings dispute.

"It's completely normal to feel the way you've been feeling. At this stage in a pregnancy your body has already given so much up to accommodate for the baby, your mind is working over time to adjust and it's constantly thinking about leaving work, giving birth and actually having a baby to look after, that your fuse is a lot shorter and you snap. You're not the only one that's yelled at their partner for eating all the ice cream and not emptying the dishwasher."

"It was orange juice and wet towels." Kate says with a slight grin.

Dr. Patrick throws her head back and laughs.

"Rick knows what you're going through, what you're putting your body through for this baby, your baby. He knows you get a get out of jail free card."

-x-

"Hi." Rick smiles, standing in the doorway to the office.

"Hey." Kate smiles, standing from his desk and walking over to him.

"You didn't call?" He asks, looking down at her belly.

"I know. I took the afternoon off because I knew you'd come home after Alexis' trip. Did she come home?"

"No, she wanted to go back for her science lesson. I told her that she could skip out and we'd get ice cream but she insisted on going back. She's so weird sometimes." Rick shrugs his shoulders and Kate laughs.

"Everything went well at the doctors. All ok." She wraps her arms around his middle and lets her head fall against his chest. It's harder to do now with her stomach cramped between them but he's just that bit taller that it still works.

"I'm glad. What else did she say?" Rick asks, kissing the top of her head.

"That it's apparently normal for me to be a raging angry bitch." Kate says, voice muffled against his shirt. He laughs loudly and she pulls her head back to look at him.

"You haven't been that bad." He smiles, kissing her quickly.

"I have so! I've been awful."

He shakes his head at her, still smiling and she pulls away from him.

"Dr. Patrick said something today that made me think, so I made these." She hold the cards she made today in her hand and Rick looks up to her baffled.

"I told her that I was feeling really angry at loads of different things, and that unfortunately you were getting the brunt of it all. She said that it's normal because of how much my body has adjusted and how my mind is working in overtime that the things I would normally let slide are causing the problems. She said that you're letting me off with it because of what I've given up and will give up to have this baby, you're giving me a get out of jail free card on being angry all of the time."

"It's not all of the time, Kate." He interrupts and then quickly closes his mouth.

She laughs at him this time, shakes her head slightly and then hands him the cards.

"Why are you giving me the cards then?" He asks, shuffling them into a pile.

"Because these ones are yours. Whenever I'm being a pain or annoying, you give me a card. Then I'll know and try to cool it down." Kate shrugs.

"So these cards are to get me out of jail? And by jail you mean when you're angry?"

"Yeah." She nods and he smiles again, looks back at the cards.

"This is so cool because you're an actual cop and could probably get me out of a real jail, you could probably break someone out of jail actually." He says excited, as he flips through the cards.

"I'll always get you out." She smiles, leans in and kisses him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So it's been two whole months since I updated this story. I am SO sorry. I kind of lost my way with it ****and haven't really had enough patience to sit down and get on with it. It's not that I've been writing other stories, I literally haven't written at all.**

**But finally, you have a chapter.**

**I hope you all had a marvelous Christmas/New Years/School Holidays and endings! I for one am loving that it's finally Summer! YAY**

**Remember to let me know what you think!**

**Hannah **


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